Name: Office Hours Live (3/6/19)
Uploaded: 2019-03-06T19:57:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Office Hours Live (3/6/19)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Office Hours Live (3/6/19)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-06. Transcript available.

Office Hours Live (3/6/19)

I guess I can see it here.
It's connecting now.
You look at me, I look at you.
Okay, and no, no stuff from you guys either.
No, my reds are off.
We are live.
My reds are off.
Oh, hi, we're live.
I forgot to flip the camera around.
Hi.
All right, I'll play some music here.
Good morning, everybody.
Welcome to Office Hours pre-show.
We're going to get the show started in a few minutes here.
Little Jane Lewis, and we'll wait for the audience to arrive.
Kind of a sad song to start, but whatever.
We know we got Hot Pup on deck.
Looking for a cure.
I've seen enough of my friends in the depths of the God-sick blues.
Checking reverb.
Whoa, two.
I'm a liar.
I'm a liar.
I'm a liar.
Nobody helps a liar.
I'm a liar.
I'm a liar.
I'm a liar.
I'm a liar.
Nobody helps a liar.
I'm a liar.
I'm a liar.
Nobody helps a liar.
I'm a liar.
I'm a liar.
Nobody helps a liar.
Liar.
Cause I've been down to Dixie and dropped acid on my skin.
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Good sounding out there, everybody.
We getting good levels?
Yeah.
We built ourselves a fire.
Mm-hmm.
We built ourselves a fire.
Ooh, yeah.
You know I am a liar.
My harmonies are not working today, guys.
You know I am a liar.
Oh, baby.
Mm-hmm.
And you don't know.
Yeah, you can't hear Doug and Vic.
Doug, can I get a mic check?
Hello, check one, two, micing, checking, micing, checking.
Am I in there?
Vicki D., can I get a good morning?
Am I very low?
A little low.
A little low.
Which button do I pump up?
Mm-mm.
To be lonely.
You sound all right.
Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop,
bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop,
bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
Are you okay with it?
Yeah, I can't hear myself really too much.
I don't know why Vic should be low.
So I don't have to get up super close to the bike.
Let's build ourselves a fire.
Let's build ourselves a fire.
Maybe you just don't project enough, Vic.
I know.
I'm still alive.
All right, folks.
We are about to get this show started.
It is an exciting time of year.
We're a little early.
Oh, it's nine o'clock now.
Nine o'clock on the West Coast.
Good morning, everybody.
Here I am.
I'm back.
Oh, baby.
We've got the Holy Trinity in the house.
Dougie Lussenhop.
What's up, Doug?
What's up, Tim?
What's going on, dude?
You can hear me?
I can hear you, baby.
Loud and clear.
Vic, can you hear me loud and clear?
I think Doug's laptop could be up.
My what?
Your laptop.
Could go up?
Yeah, I think so.
All right.
We're going to ride the levels here.
We're going to ride the levels here.
We're going to break every step you take.
Yeah, it's good.
All right.
We've got a new mixer, a new system, a new system.
Three new mixers.
Three new mixers.
Yes, we've got a whole new system.
No one should care about this.
This should not be a topic of conversation, but a lot of people are interested
in the technicals of the show.
Let's get their hopes up, and then when it busts down, the spirits will be
shattered.
So a couple of things we've done.
We've gotten a new digital mixer, which gives us more channels, more options
for compression and limiting.
We've given Doug and Vic their own individual mixers so that they can control
the sound coming out of their computers.
They can cue things up off air.
And much, much more.
So that's sort of why we were off for a couple weeks.
We had Eric Natornicola come in and help us set this up.
And also, I was busy traveling, and I was doing the Oscar special, of course,
and all the rest.
We'll get to all of it today on this edition of...
Office Hours.
Office Hours.
Vic, I want to welcome you to the studio.
Vic Berger.
Good morning.
Good morning to you.
Let's complete the puzzle and take a call and see if that works, because that
honestly has not been fully tested.
It's going well, isn't it?
So let's try a call, Aristotle.
Is that loud enough?
Is that a good level?
Yeah.
Ricky could have been a little bit louder.
Easy, Vic.
Let me be the one to...
It's going well, isn't it?
No, that was great.
No, it was great before.
You're...
Mummy!
Vic, you're...
Whatever you got in your ears, those earbuds are not...
They're not telling the whole story.
Wait, how is this?
That's too low.
No, it's not.
That's low, right?
I can barely hear that.
Let me try this one.
Okay.
Everybody just cool out!
It's perfect.
There we go.
Hello?
That's a good level.
What about this?
Hello?
You just don't care!
Is there a call?
Hi, Dan?
Hey, how's it going?
Can you hear me?
Oh, crap.
Sure was, Dan.
You just don't care!
Yes.
Stop playing fucking drops, assholes.
Yes, can you hear me?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I'll say my back to you and I...
Huh?
Okay.
All right.
Let's get the call started.
Who is this?
What's your name?
Where are you calling from?
Hi, my name's Andrew.
I'm from Washington, D.C.
And I just want to say my brother and I really like the latest Oscar special.
We just watched it last night.
Thank you so much.
Why did you wait so long?
Why didn't you watch it on the night it aired?
Why didn't you watch it together?
Huh?
We wanted to wait until we were together on spring break to watch it.
Oh, that's nice.
Did you laugh and hug each other?
Yeah.
Bohemian Rhapsody cover.
Bohemian Rhapsody.
So, I just want to...
Thank you.
Yeah.
Well, it was an exciting night for us.
We did it.
We go into that experience with a pretty fair idea of what we want to happen.
And when it goes the way we want to happen, we're pretty happy about it.
So, it happened.
Every year.
It's a big...
It's like, I can't believe we pulled it off.
And then we have to go back.
And we can't wait to do it again.
But we have no idea what that's going to be yet.
I like that shit.
Do you go into it with, like, a loose idea of what will happen?
Yes, of course.
It's going to be scary, pretty exciting.
Actually, I would say more than a loose idea.
We have, I think, every...
Vic, you were there for the live experience.
I was.
I was.
As somebody who's a fan, getting to experience being there in the studio.
It was...
Tell me about your experiences there.
Honestly, one of the coolest experiences for me.
Because you brought me into this whole thing through on cinema.
So, years of watching from home as a fan.
And I'm obviously still a fan.
So, I got to sit in the control booth and watch Eric Metternicola direct the
whole show.
And flipping through the different shots.
And it was the coolest thing I've ever experienced.
This show is loose.
I like that.
And I want to say, I got to meet Joe Estevez, who I've wanted to do...
You wanted to do him?
I wanted to do him.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Well...
I'm a huge fan.
Yeah.
And he was a sweetheart, right?
Yes.
Sweetest guy.
All right.
Well, listen.
Thanks for listening.
Yes.
Go ahead.
Go ahead, caller.
Joe Estevez.
Yes.
Thank you.
All right.
Let's take another call.
Wow.
Wow.
All right.
That was good.
Whose was that?
Doug?
Yeah.
Nice.
That should play it several times today, don't you think?
Every caller will get their little sting.
All right.
Next caller.
Let's do a run of calls, and then maybe we'll get into a conversation or
something.
Hello?
Every caller will get their little sting.
All right.
Next caller.
Let's do a run of calls.
Hello.
Meet your stream, please.
Who's coming in?
This guy want to sting?
I got to sting for you.
Hello.
Hello.
How are you?
What's your name?
Where are you calling from?
Oh, goodness gracious.
It's Adam Cole.
I'm calling from Dallas, Texas.
Hey, what's going on, Alice?
Alice?
Hey, it's Alice from Dallas.
What's going on, dude?
You got it.
Did you get your On Cinema tickets for On Cinema Live?
Yeah, I just bought a thousand tickets.
Oh, that's impossible, man.
Got it.
What do you want?
Turn your stream down.
What?
Hey.
Turn the internet.
Just saw the...
Yeah, can you...
Your stream is...
Your stream is feeding back on us, man.
How's that?
How's that?
How are we doing?
Yeah, sounds good.
What can I do for you today?
This is some Down South Triple Dippin' action.
The Oliver Hart...
The Stan and Laurel movie.
I was wondering if you saw that and what your thoughts were.
Laurel and Hardy, Stan and Ollie, yes, of course.
Stan and Ollie.
Um, I...
Why am I talking this way?
I saw it.
I, as of course, as you know, as listeners of Office Hours know,
I am close, close friends with the star of the movie, John C. Reilly.
One of my great friends were going to see a movie today together in the
afternoon.
And I kept missing opportunities to see it throughout the year.
Um, when it was kind of...
When he was out there promoting it and there was a, you know, special friends
screenings
and academy screenings and these kind of things.
So, it's so interesting because I never go out to the movies, but I felt so bad
that I...
My friend was so proud of his work and of the movie.
I said, I'm going to see it in that dang movie theater like a regular jerk.
Like one of you, screwjobs.
Meanwhile, Doug saw it in a private experience.
You saw it, right, Doug?
I'd like to take a special lady to a scene.
Yeah, he invited us to the Virgil, uh, what's it called?
Not the Virgil, the Vista.
The Vista Theater and, uh, yeah, it's excellent.
It's excellent.
It's excellent, okay?
It was robbed this year when they're giving out statues to Bohemian Rhapsody,
that pile of trash.
Hey, what happened?
And Green Book, whatever that shit is.
I saw American Klans...
What's it called?
American Klansman?
Yeah.
Black Klansman.
Did you guys see it?
I saw that on a plane.
I thought it was pretty good.
I don't know if it was, like, the best movie of the year.
No, but it, uh...
I, yeah, I was a little upset with it, I think.
Really?
Watching it, yeah.
I thought it was...
Well, while I was watching...
Really?
Didn't we have our Oscar talk already?
I know, I know.
But I watched it after the Oscar, so...
Does anybody care?
Nobody cares.
I don't think we need to start getting into that.
We don't need to rehash that.
You know, but listen, if you haven't seen Stan and Ollie, it's a beautiful
movie about friendship
and about comedy and about, um, living a life in comedy or living a life in the
performing arts and the struggles that, that, uh, represents, that can, that,
that can happen when you're, when you start getting old, you start wondering
what, what your purpose is.
And the makeup and the makeup and the makeup and the performances from both
John and Steve Coogan were, I thought, top notch.
And by the way, Steve Coogan...
I think Steve Coogan has a new series of Alan Partridge out, which I found
through, I got a link, uh, privately, but it's, you can find it on YouTube for
our American friends here, because it's only airing in the British Isles.
Which one is Alan?
Was it the redhead?
What?
The Partridge.
Which Partridge family?
Myron.
Myron.
Myron.
Myron.
Myron.
All right.
Well...
I have one more thing, too.
You guys were just talking about Joe Estevez.
Um, so, uh, I'll try and keep it short.
Uh, I was a child actor, uh, and, uh, I was, uh...
Were you molested by Michael Jackson?
Uh, numerous, numerous times.
Um...
Numerous times.
No, uh, but I, I was, uh, there's a guy named Donald G. Nelson.
He's a B-movie director.
Um, I don't know if you guys have ever heard of him.
Donald G. Nelson.
No, I've never heard of Donald G. Nelson.
Yeah, yeah, uh, he's kind of considered Ed Wood of the, uh, of the VHS era.
Anyway, uh, I was supposed to be in a movie with him, or, that he directed
called Billy
Frankenstein, and I auditioned with Joe.
Yeah, Donald G. Nelson's, 