Name: Office Hours Live (5/3/19)
Uploaded: 2019-05-03T18:53:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Office Hours Live (5/3/19)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Office Hours Live (5/3/19)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-03. Transcript available.

Office Hours Live (5/3/19)

give them everything okay looks like we're starting can we just commute one of
these days
can we just communicate yes we can good morning we are live for the pre-show
five-minute pre-roll
wow we are ready people are amassing zero watching we're not are we live come
on are we there
good morning do do do do good morning everybody play some music for you this
morning
this is a new track from bedouin bedouin do you know bedouin
is that like the van ween but they're better bedouin hello mama i have a new
record i want to play you
it's by battle we bet it better than ween i like this so i heard this in the
car on a ray in the
radio in denver at the local denver public radio station playing playing
records
yeah it's my kind of music
rocket
it's bright
what's bright it's just bright in here
it's not bright at all see that video of vic holding his hand up yeah but it's
there's it's like
overcast out oh the sun's just coming out it just makes it more bright one of
these days
one of these the light gets oh
listen folks let's to the uh send the link over to twitter is everybody
following
is this song can you hear me yeah it's going well isn't it check me
vic's giving some previews for his new drops i know that was that was doug oh
pardon me
mommy mommy mommy we have no plans today except we are back on skype what and
we believe you can
call us at t heidecker underscore two the number two i'll put that in the board
it's probably not going to work but what are you going to do we try
yeah
i'm warming up my voice my beautiful baritone voice
i think we should determine today if i have a baritone or a tenor voice any
music freaks out
there can help me determine that tenor it's tenor it is that would be about
this i can sing in this
in this range range i mean i could cover multiple scales multiple
give me a key i'll do what's your range i'll sing you a scale scales are easy
range octaves
i'll give you my high and my low oh we'll save it for the big show okay oh f
you want f
you sure that's it
pull up my software pull up your midi yeah i will i got it
you give me a note i'll sing it you got it big uh yeah f sharp
excuse me let me try my test
you
wait where's mine gotta go a little higher
oh you got the tuner up
the terrible terrible thing to listen to
oh wait let us look at the dial wait show the dial on the screen
uh
do you see that i nailed it were you trying to or you just what are you trying
to hit my mind just
naturally went to it all right it's nine o'clock doug give me that theme music
which one remix
anything you want your choice
let's go
good morning hi everybody good morning hello we're glendale
we're looking it baby we're looking it come on tell your friends we are live
welcome remind them that we are live
good morning everybody my name is tim heidecker you are listening to office
hours and watching if
you're on youtube oh it's the only place to get it i guess
youtube here we go let's do this my name is tim heidecker i am the host
and we are here in glendale california on an overcast day but a beautiful day
you could see the sun
trying to poke its way through the clouds today and we've dropped the back bed
we don't do
not no longer have a bed perfect for me perfect weather and
and i am not lonely i am joined by some great friends great long time friends
uh behind me the
number one dj in america the number one talent of all time lutes top scott roppin
tom i eat as a dj
it is doug lucenhop joining us on this friday friday morning what up what up
peace boy
what up pace what up what up doug i was looking for the right drop and i blew
it
off to a rough start for doug let's hope he warms up catch me with you brothers
peace be with you doug and
over there and over there returning the returning champion back from the dead
and back he has risen
the lord himself hello voodoo vick burgher good morning everybody voodoo vick
voodoo vick voodoo vick is in vdv
vb vv vv vv vb vb vb ivv vb vb ivv good morning vick welcome to the show
welcome back glad to be back let us praise and thank the great good morning tweeter
glary uh glaring glaring gary lucenhop for joining us last week i thought he
was a terrific guest
guest everyone loved uh daddy daddy gary people want more dads people want dads
my dad is actually
in town get him on the show but he's not up yet available he's not radio ready
he's doing something
this morning uh another podcast seeing my kids i'm like i'm out of here i got
work to do i got lots of
plans big plans you ever see that commercial it's on like during the news it's
like uh it's for some
old old people uh probably like ira or or it's like some financial service no aarp
something like
that it's like i've got a long life ahead of me big plans in my 60s that's it i've
got a nice long how'd you
get that big plans so when i found out wait that again i can't believe you
found that so quick in my
60s i've got a nice long life ahead big plans yeah i smell bullshit you don't
have shit coming big plans big
plans big plans all right that is funny i'm glad you found that big plans that's
some bullshit right
there all right what do you got coming up grandma you got scrabble canasta i
got big plans i'm gonna go
see right there i'm gonna go see my grandchildren in august um that's some
bullshit right there i know
we we know it's bullshit thank you let's say let's see why don't we um jump
right into a skype call
ladies and gentlemen that's the big news skype is back we think skype is back
it might crash and burn
right away but hello that's you assholes um and the the way we're doing it is
it's a new screen name
it's you sons of stop that wow hello hey tim hey what's going on buzzard oh my
goodness skype is back
skype is back we got skype is back okay skype is back i love the new intro glad
you could drop in
thanks what's your name where are you calling from and how can i help today i'm
from kentucky eric
whereheim is a pet right away that's what we missed about skype first call that's
what we missed about
skype we should keep him on i want to talk to him all right try again that guy's
just been waiting for
months come on buddy let's go hello hello hey tim what's your name uh avi ezor
you sound like trouble
i'm not trust me give me give me a reason to believe you well my question is
tim any interest
in doing more horror films now that you've done us i'll do anything you put the
money in front of me
i'll suck a dick also um one little anecdote i was at this bar in brooklyn and
uh talking to this guy
about adult swim and he mentions he used to skate with this kid named uh doug
lessenhop who's gone on to
do better things so uh so what is that supposed to mean wait who's the guy
avi is nor what's your friend's name avi is nor i was saying it was pretty
random oh well what are you
saying that doug went on to do better things well i was kind of i don't know
look he's trying to tell a
cool story he met someone who knows a guy who knows it seems like you're trying
to cause trouble
no i don't think he's not better things than skating though i mean you just you
just got hurt skating so
oh yeah so let's get a little update on doug doug you came in here limping
you could barely i am limping i uh i i talk tell us tell us what happened we
need content
i went skating with tim robinson you know he skates you did not i swear to god
when was this
monday night wow and i immediately uh fell on my ankle wrong and i felt the
crunch you know when
you can like feel the crunch and tim was like i knew i should have avoided this
dude yeah i knew
i should stay away i thought it was broke but guess what x-rayed not broken so
had you it's a good
question it's gonna be limping around for you skated with uh tim before no was
this a date no what does
that sound first time meeting too like in the flesh i think so i don't know
maybe my friend andrew knows
him and he said they skate um i asked andrew we should go skating sometime and
he goes tim robinson
skates we should go with him on uh whatever it doesn't matter but it doesn't
not matter nothing
on the show matters the point is i hurt my ankle and i'm on the bench now i
came playing tennis
it up what's yeah what's the uh what are you gonna do what the doctor say oh
chill out no who cares
i want to know i want to know tim you just said the show's boring and we can
talk about whatever i
know but i wanted to go circle back to tim robinson because i invited him to
come on the show today but
he was in he said he was in new york hmm but now he's skating no i was skating
with him this morning
uh i believe tim uh he said he would love to come on the show so we will get
him on the show
and then doug you wrote me because you said he would be a good guest you must
have just skated with him
and then said ah i've got a good idea um but exactly you wrote me and said how
much you loved his show
his show is so funny man i watched it twice you did well it's so short and quit
and uh yeah
yeah i watched it yesterday it's great right yeah and you're talking about last
week
my sketch i think your sketch is my either i didn't really laugh too much at my
sketch but
that's probably not like i really liked your sketch i like not necessarily the
obscure jazz
yeah names that part was maybe a little i don't know whatever all the little
like
little things like the little dynamic with your like girlfriend or wife and um
the arizona the
walnuts the arizona walnuts then the nutcracker and then the gazpacho all that
stuff made the
elevated the sketch into not just a joke about the jazz thing it was about that
stuff well if anybody's
interested i'll tell you my little story with doing that show is i mean i uh
got asked to do it i said
sure you know that i know i know i didn't know him that well i didn't i didn't
re i actually had met
him once but i didn't realize it and then but uh akiva from lonely island he
wrote and said could you do
this and i knew and also alice matthias who directed it also did the portlandia
episode as it so anyways
it was like of course i'll come by and play with you guys so then i get the
script like the day before
maybe they had somebody else in mind i don't know because i always get these
things like last minute you
know so i get this and uh it's like three four pages of dialogue written in
this script and i'm like
i'm not going to be able to memorize all i hope they don't expect me to
memorize all this the day before
i'm not too good at that you know oh no so i i get there i'm like how much is
this like improv how much
of this is like you guys want it word perfect and they're like well it's we've
it's pretty we stick to
the script i mean you can play around a little bit but it's you know we want to
try to get the script
all that funny stuff where's it on a walnuts it's all written so you didn't do
shit well so they said
they said you know this there's a lot of snl people coming out of that that
scene so they're like well
it's fine don't worry about we'll do it in like little pieces um and we'll have
cue cards for you in
case you know you need them but i'm not used to cue cards unless i'm like in decker
which is like
the point is it's supposed to feel like i'm like it's not supposed to feel like
are they holding
them in cue cards off the screen like snl no they're in front of the screen doug
i mean like big ass
ones yeah like regular cue cards nice but i uh i didn't know like i was not
cash cards or like i was
not comfortable with that i it was not helpful really because it was like i
could i have to look over and
read i don't know how they do that you're fired it's like a whole i mean you
either the problem is with
cue cards you either stick to them fully or you don't because if you start like
kind of just using
it as a reference it's very hard so i loved it i gloat over it i yeah so
anyways i eventually got
through it but i had to do it like which is the way we do a lot of things is
you do it like four times
in a row and the first three aren't right and the first one you get it 