Name: On Cinema Oscar Special 2020 Telethon
Uploaded: 2019-12-20T04:51:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'On Cinema Oscar Special 2020 Telethon' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'On Cinema Oscar Special 2020 Telethon' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-20. Transcript available.

On Cinema Oscar Special 2020 Telethon

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Do we have audio?
Yep, yep, yep.
Okay, dog.
Somehow we are live.
Hello.
Thank you.
Audio is too quiet.
How's the audio now?
Come on, tell me.
Talk to me, baby.
Yeah, baby.
We got to turn it up.
I'm doing this on my own tonight because a lot of shit going on.
Whoa, all right.
All right.
Audio is low, everyone says.
Hi, everybody.
Hey, everybody.
Hey, everybody.
It's the, oh, we're listening to old episodes of On Cinema.
The podcast.
Oh, boy.
Hey, everybody.
This is Tim Heidecker.
Tim Heidecker.
Joined with me is...
Everyone loves the audio, so we can begin the telethon.
Hey, it's always fun to be here.
And we are listening to the, one of the first episodes of the podcast right now.
Kubrick's The Shining.
That's a classic.
That was a big hit for Mr. Kane.
Aha, so we are ready to go.
It was originally based on...
And so I'm going to get...
We have a lot to get to.
First, I have to turn off this old episode.
I love the movie.
One.
Yeah.
Cinema, the podcast began so many years ago.
Everybody, this is Tim Heidecker.
It is December 19th.
This is a special emergency broadcast of the On Cinema Telethon.
Yeah.
I've got a can of Coke.
And we are ready to roll.
We have a lot of business to get to today.
I'm going to jump on right away.
Jump on the phone with my...
I'm going to call him a co-host, but a guy who's helping us out today.
He's a friend of On Cinema.
You may know him from the big unhappy family is Justin Gaynor.
Hello there.
Justin.
How are you doing, Tim?
I'm doing pretty good.
I'm just getting some levels on you here.
Give me a check two.
Check two.
Hello.
It's movie time.
There you go.
All right.
So we got some...
We're sort of doing a very ragtag telethon tonight.
There is a lot going on.
We want to get to...
Justin, you set up this visualization that we're seeing right now on the screen,
which is the 2020 Oscar special telethon.
We are in this time of year.
Last year we did it in mid-January, but the Oscars moved up about a month.
So we are trying to squeeze this in by the end of the year.
And a quick question for you, Justin.
You're running the site on your end.
I am.
That we're looking at.
Do I need to physically refresh the page to get updates?
No.
Okay.
No, no, no.
It'll come through.
It'll update periodically as I'm behind the scenes typing all this stuff in.
Okay.
So, folks, here's how this is going to go.
We are...
I've been...
I don't know what happened with a guy who's been on the show before a couple
times,
Greg Turkington.
Someone said they can't hear you, but I feel like people can hear you.
Why wouldn't they be able to hear you?
If I can hear you...
I can hear everyone else, so I don't know.
I don't know either.
I'm trying to get this...
It's going to be fine.
Why wouldn't people hear him?
Can people hear you?
I don't know.
I see people telling me to leave.
Well, that's for sure, yeah.
That's what I see in the chat.
Here, we'll do a test.
Justin, you read out your favorite movie of the year, and then we'll see if
people can
reply with that movie.
Sure.
My favorite movie of the year for a very short period of time, it was more of
my favorite
anticipated movie of the year with Mr. American, which turned out to be kind of
a disaster.
Okay.
Can someone write back the movie Justin said?
Can someone write the movie that Justin just said?
I'm looking at the chat.
I'm a little low.
I'm pretty quiet.
I don't know how to make it louder because, unfortunately, I've got a
microphone up to an iPad.
This is what I'm dealing with.
You know?
I'll try to talk as loud as I can.
That's helpful.
Very helpful.
So, listen.
Here's where we're at, folks.
We need to raise significant funds if you are going to get the Oscar special in
February
this year.
We are...
Every year...
Thank you, Mr. American.
Everyone's saying Mr. America.
Okay.
We can hear you.
I don't know what...
I'm going to stop looking at the chat because it's unhelpful.
Yeah.
We are...
I'd like to check in with them in the beginning because, frankly, you get a
sense of what's
going on out there.
And, you know, but then once you realize things are cooking, I can step away
and I can just
enjoy the process here.
Here's where we're at.
We've got the Oscar special coming in February.
We're sitting...
All through the year, everyone, we've got a nice group of...
How many Patreon subscribers do we have right now?
Justin, do you have access to that?
At this very moment, yes.
At this very moment, let me see.
If I go to the...
We have 456 Patreons.
So, that's been steady throughout the past few years.
This is the third year, I believe, we're attempting to produce what really is a
million-dollar
live production, at least a million dollars on, you know, if we were to really
break it down
and, you know, if we're going to put this up on ABC and do the live in front of
a studio
audience thing that they're doing with All in the Family now, you know, you'd
be looking
at at least over a million dollars an episode.
Now people are saying you're too loud.
Oh, boy.
All right.
I understand.
I've got the gain up, but listen, this is what we're dealing with.
You know, let me just get my train of thought back.
So, it costs a significant amount of money to put on that show we do every year.
It's a live show.
You're talking about five cameramen.
You've got three or four people in the booth running video, cutting, you know,
cutting video,
running sound.
You've got sets.
You've got costumes.
You've got food because people are there basically from 8 a.m. till midnight.
You've got just a tremendous amount of cost.
We end up doing it for, you wouldn't believe the number we do it for.
It's very affordable, but for something that has the viewership that we have,
you know,
you're looking at somewhere, you know, several hundred thousand views at the
most, it becomes
something that isn't valuable, if you believe this, is not valuable to the
Adult Swim, you
know, the money men over there.
The bean counters.
The bean counters.
They basically say, hey, we have, you know, $5,000 for you to put on a live
telecast because
what we do down in Atlanta or in Burbank, we throw up a green screen, we put
those headsets
on people, and we just roll, and you, you're, you know, your show that you did,
which is
a disgrace, The Big Unhappy Family, was...
A lot of people love it.
There are a lot of people who love the show.
I mean, you're looking at something that should cost $10.
There's no, there's, it's basically like one of those gaming, YouTube gaming
shows, you
know?
Well, and no disrespect to that, my point is, when you look at the On Cinema
Oscar special,
every year there is a quality to that.
There is writing that goes into that.
There is meetings, there is, there's several care actors that, that are, that
are called
into, called onto, and a tremendous crew that we support and pay and treat
fairly.
So, that's why, that's all to say, you've seen our cinema.
You've seen the Our Cinema debacle from several years ago.
And it was, well, I mean, it wasn't that bad.
It was bad.
Nobody goes back and re-watches that, okay?
If you want to do Oscar special for the money that we have right now.
I have re-watched it.
Okay, well, if we want to do that, then we could sit on this, we could do what
we're doing
right here, right now, Oscar night, and just sit around and talk about Oscar.
And maybe we'll have to do that if we don't raise the money.
But I see we have $400 now coming in.
So, what happened is, Justin here, who's basically one of the great supporters
of On Cinema, and
he's a great booster of the, of the brand.
And he's a tech whiz.
He developed the On Cinema Timeline, which everyone uses now, and it's really
one of
the more popular websites.
He has created this way for us to visualize where we're at.
And what you need to do, folks, and one criticism I have, perhaps, is you've
got the Patreon very
small.
Very, very small.
Okay, hold on.
I've got a call coming in.
Can you hold on one sec?
Sure.
Hello?
Hey, guys.
Oh, hey.
It's, uh, who's this?
Hey, this is Greg Turkington from On Cinema at the Cinema.
Okay.
We got, uh, Greg, you were, we talked earlier about you coming in.
You did this last year.
You helped us raise money for the special, and I came in to do this, and you
are not here.
Yeah, I can't, I can't make it tonight, and honestly, you shouldn't be doing
this tonight
either, because, uh, I am actively involved with about, uh, I'm not going to
give the number,
but several dozen volunteers from the Movie Buff and Greg Head community that
are trying
to find Mark on the streets of L.A., and we are making some progress.
We haven't found him yet, but this is not the time to be, uh, begging people
for money.
This is the time to be finding our friend and getting him back on the show.
Well, I would like to see you out here at least a couple times, Tim, because,
uh, you know,
Mark has given so much to this community over the years.
I've spoken about this.
I don't believe Mark is in the area anymore.
I don't have any direct evidence, but I do believe that he is most likely back
home in
the Midwest, wherever he came from.
I'm sure Mark's brothers are taking care of him, and, uh.
I don't think he's downtown.
I've already scoured downtown.
We scoured all over downtown, including, uh, some of the filming locations of
Blade Runner
and a lot of other pretty cool locations that Mark would be very interested in.
Okay, well, let me ask you, what are your priorities, then?
You seem to be sort of, uh, you're looking for Mark, but you're also messing
around with
all these filming locations, so are you able to, uh, sort of scratch your head
and, uh,
chew gum at the same time, or walk and chew gum at the same time?
I mean...
Well, right now we're in Long Beach, so...
The thing is, if, if, if Mark, if Mark's not central LA, he might have gotten
on a bus
and gone somewhere further away, you know?
He's probably disoriented in need of food and a jacket and, and, uh...
Listen, listen, Greg, Justin is on the line.
Justin, do you have a thought about where Mark might be?
Do you have any opinions?
I know you study this stuff closely.
Uh, you know, I've, I've, I've done everything I can.
I've been reaching out to anyone I know in the area.
I've had people, there are a lot of, uh, you know, a lot of Long Cinema family
members concerned about this.
And one thing I've been wondering is, if, you know, Tim, you, you, you've, you've
involved this guy, uh, LaRue, right?
In this whole mix this season.
And he's supposed to be some sort of a, uh, you know, investigative specialist,
which I think is dubious.
But why won't you put this guy on the case?
Well, I have him tied up, I have him tied up with, excuse me, I have him tied
up with a million things.
But I'll tell you what we can do to kind of tie this together.
If we could hit our target of, uh, we, you know, we haven't talked about our
targets yet.
But I'm looking at, you know, if we could hit our first target of $2,000, um,
then no, I will guarantee Mark an opportunity to come on the Oscar special and
perform one of his impressions.
If we can get ahold of him, we have to find it first.
How about if for everybody that donates, uh, money, you spend a day looking for
Mark with me.
I'm in Long Beach today at the filming location of, did you see La La Land?
Um, we reviewed it, so I hope you saw it.
I did.
Then I did.
Yes.
The pink, the pink apartment that, uh, Mia lived in, which is in Long Beach.
And so we're looking around here, um, all around the area because Mark loves La
La Land.
That was one of his favorite movies.
Well, the chat room, the chat that people are, people are in the chat right now
discussing this.
Uh, a lot of people saying that Mark is, is dead.
So it seems like you're, it seems like it's a wild goose chase, uh, for you.
And I don't, you're just one man out there running around the whole Southland,
uh, scooping up movie locations.
But, you know, before, uh, I let you go, cause you seem like yo