Name: OFFICE HOURS LIVE (1/24/2020)
Uploaded: 2020-01-24T19:45:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'OFFICE HOURS LIVE (1/24/2020)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'OFFICE HOURS LIVE (1/24/2020)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-24. Transcript available.

OFFICE HOURS LIVE (1/24/2020)

I hear it, I hear me.
Okay.
Let me see here.
Do you hear me?
Do you hear me?
It's my headphone man.
I gotcha.
Okay.
You want the new intro?
Yeah baby.
Okay.
Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah, we have the same problem, but we're fixing it.
Hello!
Hey, buddy!
I won't do what you tell me!
I won't do what you tell me!
I won't do what you tell me!
I won't do what you tell me!
Still have an audio problem.
You sound okay?
I know, but it's gone.
Okay, we fixed it.
Let's never let that happen again.
That's one-strike rule.
Sorry, everybody!
What do you expect from us?
Good morning, everybody!
Tim Heidecker Live!
Should we change the name of the show?
Should we change the name of the show to Tim Heidecker Live?
You're listening to Tim Heidecker Live!
Let's hear it.
Let me hear it.
Just got back from Australia.
Just got a message in from a fan who said, "Hey Tim, I feel so honored to have
to call
me up on stage during the Brisbane show."
Brisbane is in Australia.
I saw you live in the Crimbus show in Buffalo, New York.
You've made this trip so unforgettable.
Unforgettable.
That's what we say.
Unforgettable in every single way.
Unforgettable in every single day.
Unforgettable in every single day.
Unforgettable in every single day.
Unforgettable in every single day.
Unforgettable in every single day.
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I mean not the whole thing last night.
Mm.
But I finished it last night.
Good.
And I'm watching this movie like when was Tim crying?
Oh well.
But I think I understand.
Check in with your feelings.
I think I understand.
It's a father.
You gotta be a dad to really cry during that one.
Right Vic?
It's true.
Did you cry?
I only saw half of it.
And I cried twice the first half so.
You did?
No.
I do tear up pretty easily though.
That movie should be called.
But nothing in there was like really.
It should be called three hours of guys disagreeing.
And then a half an hour of really really old guys.
That should be the movie called.
Yeah.
Here's where I'm at.
I don't value or care about your opinion.
When it comes to movies or TV shows.
I know but I just wanted to sneak that in.
I understand.
I'm like Dylan.
Who got that one Doug?
That was me.
Oh.
You got Tim Jobs now?
Yeah.
I'm like Dylan.
I should have saved the room when he's talking about his music.
Oh you son of a bitch.
But I blew it.
All right.
Listen.
I did something very responsible yesterday.
And I made a office.
I mean a Google Doc for the show today.
With some observations and some things that we can discuss throughout the show.
But this is a show.
Okay.
A call in show.
So we do want to take calls too.
I don't know if we're going to get to any of this stuff to be honest with you.
I got Australia recap.
Who cares?
It was great.
Love it down there.
All the best.
Some of the greatest, nicest people.
Great food.
I didn't see any fires.
The whole thing's a hoax.
I didn't smell one whiff.
You didn't smell a whiff?
I didn't smell a whiff.
I'll tell you who I had a nice time with down there.
Do you have those plugs on?
Those nose plugs?
I ran into the great indie icon, Mack DeMarco in Brisbane.
Wow.
Good day mate.
And he came to the show.
And then we went out after.
And I hung out with him for a little bit.
I never really hung out with him.
Okay.
I know you're friends with him, Doug.
But he's a lovely man.
Just a couple of American patriots.
What the fuck?
This is happening now.
USA!
USA!
USA!
USA!
USA!
Next to you!
USA!
Later we're going to get a call in from a man named Jack Henry Robbins,
who directed a movie that's out now called VHS.
Now I'm getting excited.
And this is our first.
This is a first.
I think his publicist, get this folks, Office Hours is on the map.
Office Hours is on the move.
His publicist reached out to Starburn saying that Jack would like to call in to
talk about
his movie, to plug his movie.
That's...
You're booking from publicists now?
Now that's what's happening.
We jumped the shark.
It's over.
Maybe it is.
But I saw the email came in from Aristotle.
I have to tell you.
I saw the email come in from Aristotle.
It said Jack Henry Robbins wants to call in.
My brain immediately read that and saw Henry Rollins.
Scoop over the Jack.
I just...
Yeah.
My head went right to...
Uh-oh.
Henry Rollins wants to call in.
I beat it!
Jack!
Immediately...
Good.
Immediately I'm starting to think, do I want to talk to Henry Rollins?
I'm not like a Rollins guy.
I understand he's popular, but I'm not really familiar with like why he's
popular.
You know?
Like what would I even get into?
He would just talk the whole time himself.
And then I read it again and saw Jack Henry Robbins.
You gotta do a re-write, a re-read.
But this is the problem with American and English letters.
All real letters.
Is...
What...
What's our letters?
What are they called?
Not Aramaic.
What are they...
What are these called?
A, B, C?
Yeah, those letters.
The alphabet.
The alphabet.
The alphabetic system.
American alphabet.
The alphabet.
The American alphabet.
Because these B's end up looking like L's and everything looks like the...
Everything looks the same to my brain.
So that's gonna happen in about 20 minutes.
We're gonna talk to him.
Who knows?
I'll watch the movie.
Do I have any questions for him?
Not really.
We'll talk.
Chances are, you were feeling pretty good up until a few years ago.
Real quick, Vic's pilot was released.
He got dumped on the internet.
It was supposed to be on big TV.
It was supposed to be a big TV show.
It was supposed to be the answer to everyone's problems.
Big time.
Right.
And it didn't happen, but it...
It is on YouTube now, so it's still doing...
Ah, I didn't see that.
You got a pilot?
Got a whole pilot.
Yeah, from three years ago.
Doug, I thought it would be a good name for a pizza restaurant at an...
Call me a cynic, but I...
Can you not interrupt me when I'm in the middle?
Call me ping pong?
No.
A pizza restaurant at an airport would be Pilot.
Pilot.
It'd be what?
Pilot.
Like Pilot.
Pilot.
Yeah.
You don't like that?
Of course you like it.
I mean, of course.
I have my own pizza oven in my house.
We also have somebody that we're going to call a fan of the show, Grant Hallmark,
who is a...
You might know him, his girlfriend called a long time ago and said that she was
upset with us because her boyfriend would listen to the show while they were
trying to sleep and he'd laugh and make all sorts of noises when she was trying
to sleep.
They have a big announcement to make, apparently.
I'm not going to give it away.
Jesus Christ.
I want you to call in and give me your sob stories to win a couple tickets to
the Tim and Eric mandatory tour coming, starting on Monday in San Diego at the
Balboa Theater.
That'll be the day.
That'll be the day.
And we've got more.
I'm going to talk about my huge news.
Shit.
While we're gone, we announced the new Tim and Eric show.
Beef House is coming, coming very soon.
Now I'm getting excited.
Are you kidding me?
We've got...
Holy shit, do we have more news.
More news in store than you can ever