Name: OFFICE HOURS MARATHON - PART 1 (3/13/2020) w/ Natasha Leggero, Robert Davi, Mac Demarco, Dave Weigl
Uploaded: 2020-03-14T01:07:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'OFFICE HOURS MARATHON - PART 1 (3/13/2020) w/ Natasha Leggero, Robert Davi, Mac Demarco, Dave Weigl' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'OFFICE HOURS MARATHON - PART 1 (3/13/2020) w/ Natasha Leggero, Robert Davi, Mac Demarco, Dave Weigl' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-14. Transcript available.

OFFICE HOURS MARATHON - PART 1 (3/13/2020) w/ Natasha Leggero, Robert Davi, Mac Demarco, Dave Weigl

Doug, can you hear me?
Hey!
I like to laugh
I like to meet people who can make me laugh
I like having fun
Yes, I like to laugh
I like having fun to meet people who laugh
Whoa!
What the hell?
Big to hear about you
Okay, good morning, good morning
Holy shit, we're here
It's happening
Wow!
How could we be here already?
That snuck up on us
We got a big guest already in the audience
Come over here and say hi
Phil Braun is in the house, literally
Phil Braun flew in from Atlanta
And is here to help
He's here to make today's show a possibility
Possible
What is going on?
Okay, we have a whole new setup
We are at Doug's house
We'll give the address out
So fans can come by
Visit with us
All right, I like that
I like that
Anyways, we've got a lot of time to kill
We are going to be going for a full eight hours today
You can listen as much as you can
You can listen as much as you can, as much as you want
And we're starting on a low note
Right
Phil, how was your travels yesterday?
You came in from Atlanta, Georgia?
Straight from Atlanta
Harrowing trip
Why?
So many masks
So many gloves
So many sanit wipes
I felt
I wasn't prepared to wipe everything down
I'm playing
Listen to this
This is the song I wanted to play for our show today
It's a theme
You ever hear this one?
You ever heard this song?
A lot of kids don't know this kind of music
Of course we know this song
Come on, folks
We're going to be all right
Today
We're going to gather around the virtual
Tim, you're very loud
I am very loud
As I should be
I sound good
My headphones sound good
I survive
We'll survive
We'll be deaf
Oh, you know what?
Someone says I look sick
I should have asked how everything sounds out there in the world
How does our
Aristotle
We have all of our
Our phones muted, right?
Welcome to the final office hours
I have
Big breakfast news to report
I had
I just want to get this out of the way
Please get it out
We had spaghetti and meatballs last night
Made by me
Turkey meatballs
Sort of my
One of the go-to things I cook
And this morning
I had a
I had the breakfast version
I did the spaghetti and meatballs
With some eggs
Mixed in there
Like a scramble
All right
Anything else we need to get to today?
Did you fart?
What is that?
What did you say?
Did you fart?
What is there?
Reverb on it
What the hell?
Okay
All right
Did you fart?
I had a whole list
I give two of those
Like multiple versions of it
I woke up at
I woke up at
Like four in the morning
Thinking about doing this show today
Stressed
Excited
Like Christmas morning
A little bit
So
Phil
That's my
Not so discreet
Way of asking you to go get that
Give me a cup of coffee
I'll get you some coffee
That's what I'm here for
That's what we need
That's why I flew out here
Was to deliver coffee
He's done for the day
Yeah
So let me try this real quick
Let me see if I can do this
Do you want him to get you actually a cup of it?
Excuse me?
We have coffee in the house
Oh yeah
I want coffee
I don't care
I don't care how it gets to me
He just got it
He just got it
He just got it
He just got a box of it
But I want to try a little something real quick
Aristotle
I'm going to go
Phil cam here
Can you go
Can you see that?
Are we live to Phil?
And we could do a
Watch this
We'll do a handheld
Phil
Getting me coffee
We got a big stretch here
Here we go
Ready?
Yeah I'm ready
Are you live on this?
Yeah
So ready
Go
Whoa
There he goes
There he goes
He's in the kitchen
Getting coffee
Will he
Get it in time
Yeah just black
I don't need any kind of fancy
Vanilla
Foam
What's the hold up Phil?
Jesus
It's too cold?
Too full
Oh too full
Yeah
Well you're stressed
I understand
A lot of
You know
When people are stressed
They make mistakes
This is exciting
Uh television
Hurry the fuck up Phil
I'm dying in here
Let's go
All right
Right here
Right down there
Okay
Now back to your
Guest position
All right
Okay thank you so much
That was exciting stuff
We have a whole new vibe
For the show today
Let me start by saying a few things
We have a new call in number
That number is
I'll put it up on the big screen here
Can you show that
Oh that's not it
Here we go
It's up on the big screen
Office hours call in line is
814-303-Live
Lloyd
That's it
That's our new number
That's a good question
Give us a call
We supposedly have this figured out
It probably will not work
This used to be live
The band's phone number
And you guys have obviously got that
But it's really
The band's live
Yeah
Yeah
There's so much to talk about
I mean listen
We've been off the air
Since what
PA Legends
January
Yeah live
I went to high school
With the
Or college
Are they called live
What if they were called live
This whole time
And it was like
Jif and Gif
Where they reveal
Like 20 years later
Someone says
Tim's mic is too low
Is that
Oh man
That's crazy dudes
Are they hearing
Well when I'm off
Yeah when I'm off the mic
I think they're not hearing our mix
What are you talking about
Levels are fine Doug
It's very loud here
I'm just checking in
How do we sound
Am I alright
Let's do audio tests
We'll see
We'll get a general
Someone says
Fix the sound
Can someone
You know what
Someone should god damn do
Is go in the other room
And listen to the show
For a second
And give us feedback here
With 17 guys here
Stinking up the place
Do you want me to
Pull it up
Everyone's mic is too low
They said
Do you want to hear it
Like on a laptop
Or something
I don't care
I just want your
Your like
Opinions
Turn the whole mix up
They said
So turn the whole mix up
I don't trust these people
Commenting
I do not
They're trying to
Sabotage your show
Just wasting our time
Yeah
Could be
The mix is too low
Turn it up
What
Yeah but that's not
What's going out
To the
The only thing
That's going out
Is
Is this
To the
Sling
Right
So they say
Main volume is low
Master is good
Balance
Master is low
Balance is good
Seven hours
And 51 minutes
Yeah we have
Seven hours
To figure this out
So we've got time
That's up pretty loud
Here
It's up pretty loud
Here
So I need somebody
To listen to the show
In the other room
Now
I don't care who it is
We can live without
Doug or Vic
Oh thank you
I didn't realize
Doug had already
He did it
Someone says it's fine
I mean I think
You know
People are probably
Just listening to it
On their iPhone 4s
With the rain outside
Just turn up their
Master volume
On their computer
Yeah
Everything is too low
It's
It's too loud
Someone says
I gotta stop
Looking at this
People are probably
Just fucking with me
Yeah
So
I can't tell
I think sometimes
When Tim screams
It does sound
In my ears
A little distorted
That's okay
But
That's all fine
I don't know what mix
I'm listening to
There's a lot of mixes
Going on
Alright
We apparently fixed it
Alright
It's fine
How does that sound
Doug
The yell
We gotta
We've got to
Kill
Eight hours
Today
So I'm happy
To delve
Into this
What'd you say
Doug
Here
Somebody get
Phil
Get Doug's
Follow Doug out
How's this sound
Doug
Let's go to the
Doug
Audio stream
Live cam
It's playing
We're not going
In every room
In my house
You can go back
There and listen
To it
If you want
To test it
I need somebody
To go to the
Best
You know
The Best Buy
Listening room
Where you can
Check out
All their speakers
Hey can I show
Go in there now
Can I show
Doug's knives
Yeah
Let's do a tour
Of Doug's knives
And there's a lot
To look at
A lot to talk about
A lot of the same
Knife
Doug is an anal
Obsessive
Compulsive
Anal
Addict
Who
He buys
Overbuys
Things up
I've got a ton
That one he's
Looking at
That one
Johnny
Pepperson
Gave me
Is a gift
All the other
Ones were gifts
I don't buy them
People give me knives
They think I want them
They're gifts
They're gifts
What do you say
We quickly
Turn to the phones
Just to see
If that works
Thank you
Yeah I think
That's only fair
Tripping balls
With your family
What
Hello
Hello
Who's calling
Papa
Yes ma'am
Is this you
It is
How are you
What's your name
Where are you calling from
I'm good
My name is Leanne
I'm living in
Is this Leanne Rimes
Florida
No
No
Not me
All right
Well we'll talk to you later
No just kidding
So
Who are you
No I'm just kidding
What's the deal
You've been waiting
You were the first caller
You are the first caller
In office hours
Season
What season will we call this
Let's call
Let's do this
Let's say this is
Season one is me
Basically fucking around
On Facebook live
Without any technology
And then season two
Is really about
Bringing in Doug
Bringing in Vic
In different ways
Season three
I think appropriately
Is
The Holy Trinity
Era
Where things got real
So now I feel like
This is season four
Season four premiere
Anyone object to that
The season four
Oh my god
I'm honored
To be a part of this
So how can I help you Leanne
Let's get the show started
What's going on in your world
Well
Top of the spectrum
I just want to let you know
Like I've been a big fan of you
For a very very long time
Thank you
From Tom goes to the mirror
Awesome show
On final at the cinema
I will watch
Anything
You put out
Literally
If you are sitting
On the toilet
I will watch you Papa
I swear
And I wanted to talk to you
About this event
That you went to
Secretly sir
And did not disclose
An event
You were on the
Adult Swim
Adult Swim
On the Green
In Florida
Am I correct?
Oh
Adult Swim
Doug refresh my memory
Adult Swim
On the Green
In Florida
I don't
When was this?
What?
2017
Was it like
They would do this
Traveling show
Where they would show stuff?
Like a
Yes
Yeah
Okay
I bought tickets
To that show
Yeah
I had no idea
You were going to be there sir
I was not there
I got so stoned
I was so stoned
You were not there?
No
Was it at
Mar-a-Lago
On the Green?
It was right in
Mar-a-Lago
So let's
So you're
You're saying
That you didn't know
I was going to be there
And you were
Correct
Because I was not there
I don't
I don't
Listen
I don't play
I don't play in Florida
I don't ever
Go to Florida
Unless I'm going to see my dad
You know what popped up
On my
On my Facebook memories
Tim
Was when we did go to Florida
When we went there
Like 11 years ago
Right
Yeah
It was
The spring break
We went down to
Panama City
That was pure hell
That was bad news
Yeah I was remembering
Something
I was talking to Eric
About this on tour
Where
I was remembering
We used to do this drive
We did this
Tim and Eric
Live show
During spring break
What
2007
Or something like that
In Panama City
It was a terrible idea
They set us up
Where everybody
Is just trying to get
Fucked up
And meet
You know
Meet people for sex
And
We were doing
Our dumb show
Excuse me
And
Anyways
We had this
We had to do this drive
Back from our hotel
To where this
Outdoor venue was
Like three days a week
Right Doug
Like three of the days
And
We
The traffic would move
So slow
It was almost like
You're in a parade
Because there was just like
There was like
Hundreds of kids
Walking along the street
Right
And they were all like
You know
Buff
Spring break dudes
With no shirts on
Jocks
Frat boys
And
I got this
I did this funny
Thing
Was making the guys laugh
Which is
We'd be going so slow
Our minivan door
Would be open
And
We'd be passing
By these guys
And
You know
We would be like
Yeah
What's up dudes
And they'd be like
Yes
And then we'd go
What's going on
And then we'd go
Yeah
We're partying dude
And I'd go
Where are you from
And they'd go
Oh
Georgia Tech
Dude
I'm like
Cool
What's your major
Remember that
What's your major dude
Cool
And they're just like
Nah
We don't want to talk
To this guy
In this minivan
Cruising along
What do you like best
About school dude
I just remember
There was a food
There was a food desert
There was like
No food around
In the hotel
Oh yeah
And I was like
I had some kind of like
You had a bad time
You had like a full on
I had a full on
Panic attack
Yeah
That was like
The dude
The dude didn't invite you
The dude didn't invite you
No
You just killed
You killed the vibe
Leanne
How are you faring
With everything going on
In the world
Leanne
You hanging on
You holding it together
Coronavirus is a bitch
Right now
In Peru
It's definitely spreading
Really really fast
But
