Name: Tim Robinson, John C. Reilly & Jim Bakker's Grandson on Office Hours Live (Ep 107 4/23/2020)
Uploaded: 2020-04-23T19:03:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Robinson, John C. Reilly & Jim Bakker's Grandson on Office Hours Live (Ep 107 4/23/2020)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Robinson, John C. Reilly & Jim Bakker's Grandson on Office Hours Live (Ep 107 4/23/2020)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-23. Transcript available.

Tim Robinson, John C. Reilly & Jim Bakker's Grandson on Office Hours Live (Ep 107 4/23/2020)

I like having fun. I like to laugh. I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
I like having fun. Good morning! Okay!
Good morning! Good morning! I'm happy to see you! Good morning! Good morning! I
want to be with you!
We're streaming on Zoom! We're streaming on YouTube! We're streaming on Zoom!
We're streaming on YouTube!
Oh! Good morning! Wake the fuck up!
All right! Good morning, everybody! Thank you so much for being with us today.
It is an honor to be with you every single morning, every single Thursday. We
are live.
Let's go! We are live! Hello, everybody! Hello! Good morning! Hi, you folks!
And thanks for joining us! Hi! Hi! Hi, boys! Hi, Vic! Good morning! Good
morning to you! Good morning! Good morning! Good morning! Good morning! What
does the rest of that go? How does the rest of that go? Good morning to you!
Good morning! So that's from singing in the rain! Is it? Good morning! Good
morning! Good morning!
Good morning! Gotta have a good time! Yeah, it's from singing in the rain! But
I think it was a standard, but it was used in singing in the rain. Let me know.
Even singing in the rain, that song was way beyond, that was like from the 20s,
I think. Oh, really? Yeah, it's an oldie. Good night. Good night. Good day,
Doug. Good night, Doug. Good night. How are you today, Doug? No more! Hello! I'm
great, Tim. How are you today?
you? I'm good. Have you ever seen, that reminded me of that, have you ever seen
that Albert Brooks
Tonight Show routine where he has the speak and spell on as a ventriloquist
puppet? Oh man. Holy,
it is so good. You should find it. Can you find it? I don't know. It's very
easy to find. It's on
YouTube. It's Albert Brooks, Johnny Carson. Can we pull it up now? Yeah, just
give us a taste. It's so
good. We have so much to get to. We shouldn't waste time on this. Should not do
this. Okay. I forget.
I got it here. Just, we'll do like 30 seconds of it. This is what American
ingenuity can do in almost
400 grand. I am premiering tonight. The second ingredient in the home comedy
kit. I'll skip ahead
a little bit here. Very good, buddy. Very good. Very good. You know, buddy,
buddy, you had an ear
infection, Johnny, and he couldn't hear earlier today, and he almost didn't
want to come on. Buddy,
is your ear better? I said, can you hear now? I said, is your ear better? All
right, fine.
Okay. Thank you. We are in a good mood today. We met together on Sunday to work
out some of the
audio glitches. Matt, how's it looking and sounding out there? Phenomenal. Phenomenal.
The news has come
in. And so we said to ourselves, what would happen if we tried to do this show?
And we're going to find
out today. So we're glad to have you. Let's do the final check, which is
engaging with our zoomers out
there. Okay. And we've got from Pink Floyd, Nick Wright. Nick Wright from Pink
Floyd. Nick, you are...
No, it's not Pink Floyd. It was... Take a guess. Can you guys see the band? The
Beatles. Yes, sir.
Yeah, but isn't Nick Wright the keyboard player for the Pink Floyd? Oh, shoot.
You're going with the
actual reference of the name. Google check, buddy. Hold on. Nick Wright. No, no,
no, no, no, no. How does he not
know this? His own name? Yeah, but he doesn't know that it matches up. It's not...
Oh, it's Richard Wright.
So it'd be Rick Wright. Oh, Rick Wright. Sorry, everybody. Sorry. Sorry. So how
can I help you today,
Nick? Where are you calling from? Okay. I'm calling from Dallas. I've talked to
you guys before. I hope
you're doing good. Oh, who could forget? I know, right? The famous Nick from
Dallas. Well, I...
Usually you guys do the country boy song for me. We just did. So... Yeah, you
got to pump me up a little
bit. I think I'm a little quiet. Okay. Thank you. You're fine. Okay. So what's
up, Nick? I do have an
issue and it's kind of a Dr. Tim moment. It's maybe a Vic burger. Doug can help
me out. I'm gaining pounds
because I'm eating late night. What should I do, guys? If I'm getting up,
crushing late
night cupcakes, ice cream, I just can't stop. Chug water. Chug it. Get a big
gallon of water.
Chug it. There you go. There you go. Take care. I've been trying this new thing
where I eat
handfuls of peanut M&Ms like you've never seen before. Beyond belief. Just scoops.
I have
this little metal scooper. I don't care. I get this fucking giant party-sized
bag of peanut
M&Ms and I just swallow them whole. Swallow them like I'm Judy Garland taking
pills. What?
What time do you eat those? Like reference like at 9 o'clock? All through the
day. I have them
for breakfast. I have them for lunch. But does it matter? Like if you eat at
night, the calories
are not going to like count more, are they? You know what I mean? Then like-
Yes, there's
a whole- They say you don't want to do that. There's a whole metabolism thing
where if
you stop eating, give your body rest. I'd love to get back to that where I stop
eating at
six. Yeah. Continue the eating. So listen- How about this? Don't do it. I know,
but I'm
I feel like addicted to it. I'll wake up midnight and I'll- Oh, you wake up? Oh,
you're going
Oh, shit. You're going like Blondie's husband from, what's his dag? That
fucking asshole Dagwood.
Remember Dagwood? That piece of shit. Sneaking in the kitchen. He'd wake up and
go, "Oh,
I'm going to go in and get myself a big fucking mile-high sandwich." I have a
turkey club.
Turkey club. Dagwood.
Dagwood. Well, and it's awkward because I've got a college kid and he'll be up
playing- You
got a college kid or something. It's 1:30. I'll see him in the fridge and I don't
want
to talk to him when I'm in the kitchen. So I'm just like, "Damn it, dude." What
do
you mean you've got in college? You have a son that's in college? Yeah, for
real. Wow.
You look like you're 35 years old. Yeah, I was going to say, you might be in
college. I'm 39,
so I'll turn 40 this summer. And my son, yeah, Spencer, he goes to Texas Tech,
so West Texas,
Lubbock, Buddy Holly, he's got Joe Ely out there with him. I got it, buddy. I
got it.
I can picture the whole deal. How about this? Why don't you try this next time
you go, take
a big chug of water. Chug some water. But then he's got to get up and piss. I've
tried protein
shakes. It's like a hundred calories. It's 30 grams of protein, so I'll drink
that thinking
I'm good. But then I'll just eat some other shit. I don't know. I probably need
to work it out on my
own. But you guys are so good to us. I didn't know if you had any other tips. I
guess just
I'll do the water tip. Well, I got to say, Vic... We're so in shape. No, I got
to say something. I
looked at some old video of Vic at the convention. Don't do that. But no, it
was really shocking to
me because you don't notice stuff about people when you see them all the time.
But I saw that video of
you from the convention from 2016. And you are heavy, man. And you look... You've
lost a lot of weight,
buddy. Congratulations. My wife said, "Is he sick?" Is he sick? Is he dying? I
was in the middle of the night last night. I was like in a... I had
to change my shirt in the middle of the night. I was like sweating like crazy.
So something's working on me. I was up in the middle of the night, too. It's
like, you know, I get up at three. I wake up. I'm like, don't open my eyes. I'm
hoping it's like six. Wouldn't it be great if it's six and then I could lie in
bed for a little bit and then get up?
Don't open your eyes. Everything's good. Then I look and it's three. Right.
Fuck me. I'm just so excited to do this show. Okay, thanks, Nick. Good luck to
you. Keep at it, man. Nick, just leave a little bit of poo near the fridge and
then you'll smell it when you walk up and you'll be grossed out.
Also, don't... When you go food shopping, don't go when you're hungry. Like eat
a bunch of stuff and then you go to the store. Yeah. Let's talk to Jack Birch.
Jack Birch is cooking. Jack Birch is in his kitchen making some food. What are
you making there, Jack Birch?
You're making a vegetable gnocchi. Is that young Buscemi? Whoa. You're making a
vegetable gnocchi? British Buscemi. Well... Young Buscemi. What is this, Boardwalk
Empire? Yeah. This is boardwalk. This is board something. Where are you calling
from? Boring walk. Besides your kitchen. This is boring walk something. You
know what? Where is he? He's in his kitchen. Let him talk. What has he got?
I'm here. I'm here. I'm in London, England. Of course. What? Where would I
expect you to be anywhere else, my friend? I'm in London, England. I'm with the
Queen. I'm cooking the Queen some gnocchi. You see? I'm in the Queen's chambers.
I'm ready to wipe your ass. I'm a very healthy boy. So, Jack, what's going on,
buddy? You look like Pete Davidson. You look like fucking... Who'd you say,
Doug? Steve Buscemi? Could be.
All those guys on the phone. Great. Okay. All the best to you.
Hold on. Hold on. I've got a question. Okay. What is it?
What is... What is... Go around the room. What is everyone's favorite pasta?
What is everyone's favorite pasta? I do not give a shit. Do not give a shit
what you're... It's gnocchi. Okay? Is that what you're hoping for?
Oh, I thought he said pasta. I thought he said...
Pasta?
Pasta.
Like spaghetti?
Yeah. No, not like the pasta TV version. It's like pasta spaghetti.
Yeah. Spaghetti. That's my answer. Doug, quickly.
Spirals.
Vic.
Penne. Whatever.
Yeah, penne is the one.
There you go. Thank you, Jack. All the best. Good luck with your cooking.
Don't bring your house down. Your stove's on fire.
Just kidding. Made you look.
I want a cookie. I want a cookie.
What is that?
Smart. Cookies.
That's R. Kelly.
Oh, right.
Hey, everybody. Listen. Thank you for... I want to say a few things here real
quick.
Office Hours on Twitter. Office HRS Live. Facebook. Official Office Hours.
The Patreon has been doing terrific. We've never seen numbers like this before,
folks.
We've never seen growth. But I did feel kind of guilty the other day. I was
pushing it real hard.
Obviously, it's what everyone does, and we're asking people... It's just the
worst time in the world to ask people for money right now,
because everyone's fucking freaking out and worried.
There's no problem.
There is a problem, sir. Excuse me.
I want to give my blood.
I want to give my blood.
There's no problem.
The invisible enemy.
I want to give my blood.
No deaths.
The coronavirus.
President Trump.
Let me tell you.
What are you doing?
Uh-oh. Someone's lost the plot here.
No.
It's, you know...
Who's next?
No, of course not.
We have this challenge that we've created for ourselves, which is if we reach 2,000
Patreon subscribers,
we will release some very uncomfortable material from our past.
I'm going to put out some of my high school band's demo.
I'm going to at least play it on the show.
I think Doug's going to play something, and so is Vic.
Some of our...
I have, like, if you want to give it a little sample, if you want.
I mean, I don't know if this is something that's enticing to anybody.
Does anybody care?
Yeah, I mean...
Anyways, it just seems like fun for us.
It's five bucks a month.
You can just basically, you know, you get some discounts.
We're going to have some merch launching.
Matt, when does the t-shirt and mug and pin...
Not pin, but sticker become available.
Is that today?
Should be later today.
Later today.
Stand by for that.
So we have the Please, Please Let It Be podcast that only appears on the
Patreon.
It is me and Eric de Tornicola going through all the Beatles albums.
We had Monkey Mike, Monkey Mike Nesmith on the show talking about Sergeant Peppers.
He was in the studio with the lads during the famous orchestra Day in the Life
session.
He was staying at John Lennon's house.
He talks about all of that.
So if you haven't joined, please consider.
It's five bucks a month.
You get the extra half hour, and we're not going to bore you anymore.
Just tell your friends.
If you've joined already, tell your friends the value that it gives you.
And we're going to, I tell you, I want to grow this.
I wa