Name: Jeff Tweedy from Wilco and Jena Freidman - Office Hours Live (5/29/20) (AUDIO ONLY)
Uploaded: 2020-05-30T04:56:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jeff Tweedy from Wilco and Jena Freidman - Office Hours Live (5/29/20) (AUDIO ONLY)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jeff Tweedy from Wilco and Jena Freidman - Office Hours Live (5/29/20) (AUDIO ONLY)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-30. Transcript available.

Jeff Tweedy from Wilco and Jena Freidman - Office Hours Live (5/29/20) (AUDIO ONLY)

Hey everybody, this is Tim Heidecker. You're listening to Office Hours.
Hi, it's Tim Heidecker. Welcome to Office Hours.
It's Friday, May 29th, 2020.
We got Doug Lussenhop, we got Vic Berger, we got Jenna Friedman calling in
later,
and from the band, Wilco, Jeff Tweedy, if we're still on the internet at that
point.
That's me. All right. Let's take some calls real quick to make sure that's
working.
Jeff Gorski? Jeff?
Big plans.
Hey, Jeff.
Cephahide.
There's no... You got to be ready to talk, Jeff.
So cute.
I got a pun.
You got a pun. Yes, we're doing Pundemic today, folks.
Call in with your favorite puns, and it's not just as a goof.
We are going to be raising money throughout the show.
Pundemic fundraiser.
Where's the information on Pundemic fundraiser here?
You go to bit.ly slash pandemic.
Yeah.
Bit.ly slash Pundemic, and it's a GoFundMe, and you can donate.
We're asking people to donate five bucks today to...
What is it for?
I mean, I have no information here about what the goddamn fundraiser is for.
Feeding America.
Is it Ted Cruz.gov?
Okay.
What is it?
It's for Feeding America, a great nonprofit.
Listen, America's fat enough.
We don't need to be feeding America.
What is this?
A McDonald's gift certificate?
But no.
Seriously, folks.
All right.
What's your pun, Jeff?
Speak up.
Okay.
Well, I like to have a COVID pun, you know, but I like to play this little game,
but every
year, it's less than pun violence.
Okay.
Say that again.
COVID kills less every year than pun violence.
I want to give my blood.
COVID, Doug, are you zoning in on this?
No.
Pun violence.
Pun as in gun?
Oh, pun as in gun violence?
Oh.
Sucks.
Sucks.
All right.
I will show you how it's done.
I will show you how it's done, Bleacher Jeff.
I will show you the master at work.
Doug, did I tell you this?
We've been doing some, you know, making our, we don't go to the store for eggs
anymore.
You hear me?
We don't go to the store for eggs.
I'm done with that.
It's a waste.
We got ourselves a chicken.
Uh-huh.
In the backyard.
And let me tell you, this chicken has got something special inside.
It's got a life force that I've never seen before.
It's so, it's really impressive.
My foul chi is extremely strong, I believe.
Keep that damn chicken quiet.
My foul chi.
Hello?
Wait, chi?
Yeah, it's energy.
It's life force.
It's chi.
Yeah, yeah.
My foul chi.
Well done.
I'm pretty proud of it.
I got more in the store.
I got more.
I got a list.
You got more?
You want one?
Go ahead.
Okay, let me just, uh, what did the crooked client say to his lawyer in
Breaking Bad?
What did the crooked lawyer...
Crooked.
Crooked.
Okay.
I was hoping...
What did the crooked client say to his lawyer in Breaking Bad?
I hope it was a crooked, a cricket, but a crooked lawyer say to his...
Crooked client.
A crooked client say to his lawyer on Breaking Bad.
Lie, Saul.
Lie, Saul.
Wow.
Lie, Saul.
I got one.
I'm not the great at these, but I got one.
No, no, Vic, you're...
This is not where you shine, but please.
I'm saving the bangers for later, by the way.
Go ahead.
What do you call a youngster who likes to excavate slabs of rock at the open
pit mine?
What do we call a youngster who likes to excavate slabs of rock at the pit mine?
Quarantine.
Aquarian teen.
Aquari...
Oh, that's good.
I like that one.
Doug, how about you be a little generous and give Vic a fun celebratory drop?
I know.
Doug's got a one-track mind.
He's already thinking about his next pun.
He cannot help out the...
He's not a team player.
Let me do one more.
Okay.
Let's see what I mean.
Why did the Starbucks customer order a grande iced coffee now?
Why did the Starbucks customer order...
Order a grande coffee now?
Because he'll get a venti later.
A venti later.
He'll get a venti later.
That's good.
Very good.
Okay.
I'll go one more real quick.
Well, listen, let's spread it out.
Spread out.
Spread out.
I feel like we should do them now because we're never going to get...
Tim's going to be off on some other tangents.
We're never going to get to it.
Tweety's going to be tweeting.
Why are Cheech, Marin, and Tommy Chong taking the CDC recommendations extremely
serious during the quarantine?
Cheech and Chong, why are they taking it extremely seriously?
Why, Vic?
Because they're high risk.
High, high.
Have we raised any money off of this pursuit?
I'll give you a laugh.
All right.
Let's get through the city of the day real quick because we're running behind.
We have Jenna Friedman calling in in a few minutes.
Hopefully.
You guys always laugh at this because it just comes in with such low energy.
City of the day is brought to you by John Jasper Bowling Balls.
Never rent a ball again.
Order a John Jasper Bowling Ball today.
John Jasper Bowling Balls are made from the finest plastic urethene and
reactive resin.
Order your balls.
Get the holes form-fitted perfectly for your fingers, your middle finger, your
index finger, and your thumb.
All you've got to do is scan your fingers, take a picture of your fingers.
You've got to put some kind of lube on them or something.
Wait, which fingers again?
You said index finger?
Index finger.
No one bowls like that.
Sure.
Wait, index?
I don't know.
Ring finger, middle finger, and thumb.
You're correct.
Doug, do you use John Jasper Bowling Balls or do you just use whatever they
have at the alley?
Well, I used to use whatever they had at the alley.
And then I tried a John Jasper and now my strikes are unbelievable.
Jasper, Jasper!
Yeah, I don't know why I would ever go back to renting balls at the alley.
First of all, it's a waste of money.
I've got my John Jasper.
You're filthy.
Plus, in this age of this virus, you can't be touching these bowling alley
balls.
I've got a 15-pound ball, which works for me, form-fitted holes, and I get
strikes every time.
Rock, motherfucker, yeah!
I'll tell you something.
I've been bowling 300s for the past two months now at my private bowling club.
We have a private...
Doug, I've got to get you in on this private bowling club, man.
Oh, man.
Now you're telling me about this club.
I didn't know about that.
This place is beautiful.
They don't even have balls to rent there, so you can't even go there without a
ball.
But I'll tell you something.
The John Jasper Bowling Ball has changed my game, folks.
Tim, I've got to tell you something.
I bought a Brunswick ball.
Yeah.
It came with no holes in it.
I went to the John Jasper Ball, and it's got the three holes, and it works
great.
You had to bore your own holes, man.
Yeah, I know.
I used to bore my own holes, you know.
It's not a big deal, but when you get your pre-bored John Jasper Bowling Balls,
these are fine balls, folks.
Go to johnjasperbowlingballs.com.
Why don't you just take your balls out of your wife's purse?
Make a stand a long time in your life.
If you order at johnjasperbowlingballs.com slash office hours,
you'll get a free cleaning kit to clean your balls.
Jasper!
Wake up!
Wake up!
City of the day is Renton, Washington, folks.
Renton, Washington.
City of the day.
Renton is known for this famous boing, boing, boing, boing, boing factory.
Washington.
Renton is the final assembly point of the 737 airport,
and actor and director Clint Eastwood worked there as a lifeguard.
Washington.
The weather right now, apparently, according to this old Google doc,
that might not have been updated,
it's partly cloudy, high of 77 and a low of 56.
Now, I just want to let everyone know, fans of City of the Day,
I, as I conceived the concept of City of the Day so many,
a couple months ago,
I said, I'm going to do something special here.
It's not just going to be any random City of the Day.
There is a method to our madness, folks, but no one's been able to suss it out,
what it is.
What is the pattern here?
Ah, I shit my pants!
Let's take another call very quickly.
By the way, Jay from Philadelphia, Jay the intern.
Jay has come on board.
He's in Philadelphia, quarantined, Temple student.
Jay, welcome to the family.
He disappeared.
He's, I see him here.
I just, he's...
Oh, there he is.
Hey, Jay.
Hey!
How you doing?
Pretty good, pretty good.
Jay, what have you done so far for the Office Hours family here as the intern?
You've made, you've done some, you cut the,
I believe you cut a video that was the origins of the
I Like Having Fun musical number, correct?
Yeah, the Calling All Clowns video.
And other than that, I did the research on Renton, Washington for this episode.
Did you travel there to talk to locals or did you just look on the internet?
I did, in fact, drive cross-country to meet with the residents of Renton,
Washington.
I asked them, what's cool about your city?
Tell me about your town.
Washington, Washington.
Okay, thank you.
All right, Jay, we're going to talk to the audience muting you for now.
Dylan Samuel.
Dylan, how are you doing, Dylan?
Fun.
Dylan?
Unmute.
Why don't you just...
I'm like, Dylan.
Hello, Dylan.
Howdy.
Thank you for...
Hey, Sefe Hai.
Sefe...
Sefe Fefe...
Sefe Fefe...
Sefe Fefe...
Sefe Fefe Fefe...
Sefe Fefe Fefe Fefe Hai, Dylan.
I love the master behind you.
Bob Dylan is your screenshot.
He's my screenshot.
He's my idol.
I love him.
You know, I was looking for something to watch, and on Netflix they have the
Martin Scorsese No Direction Home three-and-a-half-hour Dylan documentary that
I just watched again, and I just loved it again.
I love him.
He's so crazy and weird, and I love all those confrontational press conferences
he was in, you know?
Yeah, he's somehow consistently been an insane man all the time.
Doug, there's this great moment when, like, you know, you have to imagine in
the middle of this, and Vic, and the audience, in the middle of this storm,
where he's just, he's literally, like, the guy writes Blown in the Wind,
and he's playing at the Washington Monument during Martin Luther King's March
on Washington.
This kid's, like, 22 years old, 21 years old, and he's playing these songs he
just wrote.
Can you imagine?
And he's suddenly the voice of a generation and everything.
Come on now.
He's got a couple years of this, and the mainstream press, the lamestream media,
don't know what to make of this guy, and there's all these old-time reporters
who are asking him these nutty questions, and he's just kind of taking the
whole thing like a goof.
And there's this one moment where this guy goes, excuse me, and he's, like, it's
literally, like, he's at a, like, like, at a table with all the microphones and
stuff, you know?
And he's, like, smoking away, and you can see he's, like, really nervous and
just, like, what the fuck?
And he's, like, how did I get here?
And he's, like, this reporter's, like, how many of the, how many protest
singers are there?
People who are doing your, this message music, you know, how many, how many of
them are out there for you?
And he's, like, you could tell it was, and Dylan, like, sniffs this guy out,
and he's, like, how many?
You know, he goes, yes, how many, he goes, um, 183, man, you know, like, oh, no,
no, no, it was 185, you know?
It's just, like, that's, the guy was trying to, like, goad him into defending
protest music or something, and, like, do you believe that your music has a
message?
He's, like, man, I'm just, I'm just a song and dance man, I don't know.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
It's so great, you could watch all, like, he just, he doesn't take any of it.
Tim, how come Dylan was so into flags when he was a young man?
How come Dylan was so into flags when he was a young man?
Well, with the blowing in the wind songs and stuff like that.
Easy.
All right, do we have Jenna?
He's laughing over here, Temple Boy.
No, wait, no, that's the other guy.
Does anyone want to bring Jenna in?
Yeah, Jenna's, I don't know.
Oh, hey, Jenna.
Hi, how's it going?
I'm good, how are you?
Jenna Friedman, everybody, from Adult Swim's Soft Focus, and her own, many of,
and her, uh, many of the.
Projects, Jenna, I've done no prep, stop it.
I've done no prep for this, except that just I know you a little bit.
You know, I know you personally a little bit.
Hi.
