Name: An interview with Mr. Pavement, Stephen Malkmus
Uploaded: 2020-06-06T15:26:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'An interview with Mr. Pavement, Stephen Malkmus' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'An interview with Mr. Pavement, Stephen Malkmus' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-06. Transcript available.

Hello, Mr. Stephen Malcomus from Stephen Malcomus.
Hello. Can you hear me?
Hey, there he is.
There he is. Let's hear it for Stephen Malcomus.
Ah, for music!
He's Mr. Pavement wearing his Bernie shirt causing trouble.
He's a troublemaker, folks. We have an Antifa supporter.
We have an Antifa supporter on the call.
Mr. Malcomus, it's good to see you.
I got hairy legs.
I don't think we've, well, we had that wonderful conversation a few years ago.
Was it a few years ago now?
Yes. Can you hear me? I'm on? I'm okay.
Yeah, you're live on TV.
I'm rad. Yeah, we talked about, I don't remember, like,
Talked about the great music, the Fleetwood Mac.
Yeah.
Fleetwood Mac, Big Mac attack.
How are you holding up, man?
Can't tell from my outfit. I'm doing great.
Yeah.
You look great, man.
I didn't know you were a Marlboro guy.
I always thought you were a camel.
No, American spirit is, you know, in my demographic, right?
Yeah, I mean, it's great what American spirit's doing, you know,
for the community and for what they represent.
I think it's a beautiful.
My friend went to their, my friend was a bicyclist and he wanted to,
he was trying to run this scam with like a responsible smoking and he wanted to
get
sponsored by American spirit.
You could see him in the yellow and, and turquoise and he went to New Mexico
and he just like,
and he goes there and there's like, like a building with no windows, you know,
and he like knocks on the door and he's like, hi, you know, I'm,
I'm wanting to get sponsored by my bicycling.
And they were just like, go the F away.
I remember back in the, like when I lived in Philadelphia in the late nineties,
we used to go to this bar and I smoked and you could smoke in bars and they,
the girls come around giving you free packs of cigarettes.
And it was like a whole, like just, it was, I was, you know, it was,
it was just this like, you know, a scheme to get me fully, fully on board.
If you're reading Rolling Stone, Tim,
you can still get like two packs for one with their advertising.
Get back into it.
Start clipping stuff out.
That's so funny that like that Rolling Stone's like, yeah,
we have a sales meeting, a ad sales meeting with, with Marlboro tomorrow.
Can we get a little,
we've talked to them about what kind of ad space we're offering them.
Steven, I wanted to hear from, you know,
voices like you during this week,
because I think it's important that you're not silenced.
Um, you know, your generation,
your race is important to hear from today.
I'm just kidding.
I mean, it's, it's, uh, where, where, where's your head at?
Cause you're up in Portland or where?
Yeah, we have a really, uh, insane, um, marches.
Uh, I say that while sane, but, uh, insane in terms of size and scope.
Everything's peaceful until after curfew, you know, if, if you go downtown
after eight,
the tear gas starts flying and things get dark, you know, um, pretty quick.
Have you, uh, outreached to like Patriot prayer or anybody on the other side to
try to make,
uh, you know, peace with, or try to, try to come to some, some treaty, uh, some
terms of surrender?
No, they're not around.
Like, you know, that's the, it's, I don't know.
I mean, there's like 10,000, 10,000 protesters to every three of those guys.
So, um, they're not, they're staying away.
Yeah, more or less.
I mean, there's like a couple of pictures of them, sometimes kind of trolly
pictures where
they're dressed as Antifa, but I mean, it's hard to tell.
You can follow it on Twitter, uh, and, but everybody's being really cagey about
who they
are and where they are.
Understandably.
Um, I mean, you know, the big thing is sort of like this making Antifa a
terrorist organization
was kind of this joke cause they don't really exist in any kind of organized
way.
But I mean, you see in Portland, there is sort of that old anarchist, uh, black
block kind
of group that has.
Rose city, Antifa is one of the oldest groups, uh, oldest and strongest.
Uh, um, so I could say they're organized in some ways, but, uh, not nationally.
No.
Um, so what else is going on?
How are you, how are you holding up?
Like, are you, have you become a teacher?
Like I've become a teacher, uh, uh, elementary school teacher, however old your
kids are.
They, uh, one of them has quality, uh, zoom teaching.
Uh, she goes to private school.
Um, sorry to be a champagne socialist, but, but, uh,
Fucking elites, you know, that's the problem.
Um, yeah.
My other daughter goes to public school and it's rough, you know, it's, it's,
it's hard
to, to keep, uh, they just weren't prepared for, um, for the learning situation.
So it's, it's, it's been really hard.
I don't, you know, want to get into a contest about what's hard for parents or
people that
are totally alone in this.
Um, and now of course with the George Floyd and black lives matter protests,
you know,
everything's multiplied for everyone.
Um, since, I mean, I wonder it's, it must be hard not to be unfunny, but, uh,
to do a show
like this in this climate.
Well, that's, that's, um, I think the, you know, the protests haven't given us
enough credit.
And I think that should be sort of the more of the focus going forward is, you
know, let's
give us space to be, to be absurd and to have fun.
Um, no, it is, it's sort of like, it is, uh, it's, I mean, it becomes, it
becomes this crazy
thing where you start really, really questioning yourself and be like, why am I
doing what I'm
doing?
Why do am I spending the time that I'm spending, uh, when I could be being more
proactive and
and more, you know, uh, you know, helping out in a, on a more ground level, uh,
but, you
know, I, I, we can't just stop doing what we do.
I think, I mean, you gotta keep writing and people are still, you know, zoning
out, they
might as well do it to you.
You know, there's like a mom, there's a place for that, um, where the stakes
don't have to
be always completely high.
Um, you know, I actually went with my daughter camping yesterday, um, not to
make this about
me, um, but we were offline for 24 hours cause her, you know, she hadn't seen
any of her
friends and, oh, uh, and it was just a bizarre feeling, you know, to be out of
the, out of
the intensity.
I, I felt bad not being downtown.
I mean, I felt bad, you know, but, but then it just becomes very confusing with
COVID and
the, and the, and whether, what is safe for my family and how do I keep my, my
health.
And, you know, it, it, it, it's just very confusing.
And, uh, and there's absolutely a vacuum of leadership.
I mean, in our city, it's, it's a disaster.
The, uh, mayor of Los Angeles is, is a disaster.
Uh, yeah, it's just,
that's true.
It's, I mean, I don't, it is, uh, bizarre stuff happening where, yeah, there's
mass demonstrations
that are, um, understandably we're putting COVID aside for this.
Cause like, it's almost fascistic to like make that COVID the issue during this.
And, uh, but, and those guys are caught between, you know, like completely
shutting down the
city and then like welcoming and encouraging and standing with, you know, it's
just bizarre.
You, you couldn't write, couldn't write this year.
Yeah, it's confused and it's, I guess it's nuanced or whatever, you know,
people can talk
about, it's hard to be that way, be that way.
Right.
Well, you have these people, I mean, that's, I was saying earlier about social
media, have
these people who are just like, well, why weren't you, uh, you, you were, you
were yelling
about these people protesting, uh, the, the quarantine rules.
And now you're not, it's just, it, all these bad faith arguments come into it
and it comes
down to these like little two sentence, you know, I mean, if Ted Cruz out there,
everybody
has these like really un-nuanced...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like the tea party's supposed to not, you know, oh, he's calling it martial law.
How are you going to react to that a bit?
Right.
Cause you don't like that now.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
But it's just arguments.
You know, people are not just, sometimes you just gotta be like, look, these
are the facts.
People, you know, people are just, are feeling this, you know?
Yeah.
Some people are feeling it.
Maybe not as much or not the right reasons, but who are you to say that?
Yeah.
I mean, my, my thing that my mantra of the day or the week of the, of what I've
been
trying to keep in, in check has been like, I don't know.
I'm not an expert.
I can't be, I, I, my, my view of things, isn't the only view.
And all you can do is kind of try to listen and be, uh, uh, what's
compassionate towards
other people.
You know what I mean?
So I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian.
There you go.
Um, Steven, this has been a night.
I'm glad I got to talk to you.
I'm going to let you go.
Yeah.
Thanks for having me guys.
And, uh, I want to see you in the flesh one day because I feel like we're
becoming friends.
I don't know.
I will do that.
Um, we're up here, you know, always.
I'd love to come up to the Northwest and just get out of la la land.
You're my hero.
I mean, it's the same territory.
We're all, we're all in the same territory right now.
I think if you're, if you're a lied, you know, consciously not to be a hippie,
but you
know, it feels, feel like I'm there with you, man.
All right, brother.
Later.
All right, brother.
Peace out.
Later.
Bye bye.