Name: Tim from Michigan Calls In to Protest the Lockdown (Tim Robinson) (Best of Office Hours)
Uploaded: 2020-06-06T15:26:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim from Michigan Calls In to Protest the Lockdown (Tim Robinson) (Best of Office Hours)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim from Michigan Calls In to Protest the Lockdown (Tim Robinson) (Best of Office Hours)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-06. Transcript available.

i have tim in michigan yeah how you doing oh yes tim hey how's it going tim um
you are one of me
yeah i can hear you all right you thank you for calling in uh my producer tells
me that you are
uh you are out there protesting the um the stay-at-home orders that your
governor has
put in place is that correct uh i was not currently i'm not but i was yes
currently i'm not though
okay i understand that where what's your point of view on this i think it's
kind of interesting i've
i've because of the new call-in system we haven't been able to talk to sort of
the other side quote
unquote where are you coming from i mean what you don't trust do you believe
that there's a danger
with the the virus out there like what's your what's your pitch on why things
should go back to
normal so quickly well well certainly things are definitely getting blown out
of proportion
and there is there is things that that people need and people want or people
who want like what like
what like what like what well there's all sorts of stuff for different people
different people like
easy okay calm down just like what name one name one thing personally or just
widely personally for me i
enjoy uh uh to be prepared for something things that are important to me
okay like what like what like uh uh like you know birthdays or you know
holidays or special like a
special holiday that's important to me one that's uh not everyone's favorite
because there's no gifts
god forbid yeah but which one you felt so let me ask you what like so you felt
passionate enough to go out
there and you were you were protesting in front of the capital like why can't
you just chill out and uh
let this thing pass i'm worried if i let this thing pass my life you know i'm
gonna i'm gonna miss out
on some of my favorite times of the year the scariest the scary seasons the
seasons that are
the seasons where the smells change you know what i'm saying the fall you're
talking about autumn like
are you talking about are you worried about uh missing out on halloween is that
what i'm getting
i'm very worried about it yes very worried about it okay worried about not
being prepared i do i do a
massive massive haunted house out in front of my home
and if it's not yeah exactly yeah so you're worried you're this is uh kind of
quite personal for you
you're looking ahead to the end of october worried that your halloween haunted
house is going to get
canceled because of what's going on right now well not cancel i have enough
stuff now to do it
but uh not on the level that i want what what can i ask uh what happens in that
haunted house like
what do you got in there bowls and noodles that are guts
bowls and noodles bowls and noodles that are guts that you close your eyes in
their guts well you must
be able to find bowls of noodles well you can't you can't what about this what
about just sort of like
taking one for the team and having a little like the concept of sacrifice and
the concept of like
maybe just chill on this you know hopefully by this by you know september the
restrictions can be lifted
a little bit so you can focus on it just seems like you're jumping the gun on
this getting all upset
about that's what i'm saying but this is when i start this is the exact time
when i start and this
is completely effing me i'm gonna be so behind by the time i i'm not getting
the jump i'm not getting
the jump on this and there's about 10 other guys i fight with uh to get for
supplies what on halloween
on your haunted house supplies there's about 10 other guys that like it as much
as i do and we're
fighting about supplies did you have six months wait yeah dude it's not even
may and you're already
starting to get your supplies in for your haunted house this is when they start
putting out the
bargain bin stuff in the stuff that'll just fly off the shelf okay calm down
calm down so all right so
whatever you just roll with it and maybe you pay a little extra for or you just
scale down your haunted
house man first of all b is not an option i ain't scaling down crap people look
forward to this and
the smiles and the scares on people's faces are what keep me going throughout
the year i'll die
you'll die that's it you'll die period if you don't do your haunted house i don't
get if i don't get to
see the faces i will die yes oh my god are you doing anything right now to
protect yourself like i mean
because you were out protesting like are you wearing you know prevented masks
and all that kind of stuff
or yeah i am wearing a wolf mask just because i enjoy it so you have a wolf
mask okay so but the
mouth is open the mouth's open well i have a question like i have a question so
this is don't you have
stuff from last year like what do you do with all your halloween supplies from
last year
i mean i have i have a lot of stuff but once it's used in the haunted house it's
now personal use
what great ass once i use it in the house it then becomes personal use okay
i don't i don't understand so they can't be used in the haunted so you so you
do a haunted house every
year and everything that's used in that haunted house uh is sort of discontinued
after that okay
well not discontinued it becomes personal use for me you know what i'm saying
no so i'm just trying to
paint a picture here you've got like cobwebs and scary skeletons and stuff that
you use and then that
once it's used once it's used it gets then put into a box and it can only be
used for personal use
right exactly and there is days that i'll pop around in the basement and i'll
open the boxes and
and have memories or take it out there's there's stuff in there i forget how
scary it is and
and it's just nice to see then it becomes personal use and that is to be honest
with you that is a
benefit for me so how many years i'm just trying how many years have you been
doing this haunted house
i've all this is going to just be my second year okay oh so so you have one you
have one year supply
you have one year supply in your basement of haunted house materials that are
now have now been
discontinued and can only be used for personal use exactly yes some bone this
year yeah
well i mean let me just i have a question no i just okay i have a suggestion
then you can ask the
question mine's the suggestion too it could be the same thing why don't you
just
waive your personal use rule that you've created and reuse last year's halloween
crap i mean you know
what i mean that would kill me i would die i would die i would die you would
die i can't do that that's
not personal use i put that out there people start walking through it's i've
seen this i've seen this
right what's scary you know what's the definition of scary something you've
never seen surprise yeah i
hear you surprise exactly but i mean i think like 80 can be just skeletons and
gravestones and whatever
cobwebs surprise motherfucker let me ask you a pointed question answer honestly
what would happen if you
skip this year i'm um this is not exaggerating this is not trying to get
sympathy this is not trying to
get people to go fund me or whatever for me uh but i think i might i think i
might kill myself oh no jesus
yeah that's not a threat that's nothing i just think that's what that's what
that's the fact right
that's the yeah that's the honest facts if uh this is i don't know if this is
important to me guys
i hear you well so what what do you what's your what what do you hope to
achieve through your
advocacy here are you hoping that the governor reclassifies halloween stores as
essential services
or something or uh any holiday store sure but just that's for other people but
if if they could open up
halloween stores all around and if they could maybe open up party cities who
often have nice stuff
yeah i would feel yeah i can also buy a lot online which i am doing which helps
wait wait wait so you're buying on amazon or whatever and that's not covering
up for what the
like it feels like you've got things covered if it feels like it's gonna be
okay here's the problem
i don't know i can't tell the size of these things on the internet so a lot of
these things they're showing
up and they're massive or or they're puny and i'm like and i got no like there's
gonna be no scale on this thing because i can't tell the size on the internet
okay you should be
able to do a more in there should be a more info tab on amazon you can see the
dimensions that's my
recommendation no they put it they hold it in a hand so you get the size yes
they have that photo just
spend a little time online and check and take a look at the dimensions and the
reviews read the
reviews that's a great idea governor the governor could if the governor could
say yeah you don't have to
open up the stores but you do have to hold the item in your hand on the
internet i would be fine
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