Name: John Early and Pam Keith on Office Hours Live (Ep 118 7/16/2020)
Uploaded: 2020-07-16T18:41:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'John Early and Pam Keith on Office Hours Live (Ep 118 7/16/2020)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'John Early and Pam Keith on Office Hours Live (Ep 118 7/16/2020)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-16. Transcript available.

John Early and Pam Keith on Office Hours Live (Ep 118 7/16/2020)

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I like having fun.
I like to laugh.
I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
But then again, Matt made me do that, so it's not really my fault.
Shut up!
Yes, I like to laugh.
We're lying!
I like having fun underneath people who can make me laugh.
Come on!
I'm back here with the boys!
I'm back here with the boys now!
I'm back here with the fucking boys!
I'm back here with the fucking boys!
Let's go!
Let's go!
Hi, everybody!
It's Tim Heidecker!
This is Bryce.
Uh-oh.
Just give it to me.
Woo!
Doggies!
Hey, round them up!
Round them up!
Round them up!
I love it.
Whoa!
Good morning, everybody!
Hi, everybody!
Tim Heidecker here.
It's the Tim Heidecker Office Hours Live Experience.
Nothing has prepared you for this show, folks!
Get ready for constant entertainment coming at you on the regular, as the kids
say.
It is a tremendous day today.
We're looking at July 16th, actually.
Can you believe that, Doug?
July 16th already?
We are midway through summer.
And how's it looking out there, folks?
Is everybody tuned in?
Have you taken a moment now?
What is this music?
Let's get the vibe going.
Have you taken a moment to let your friends and family know that we are
currently live on
the YouTube platform right now?
Right here, right now!
Watching the world wake up from history!
We are live!
And we're coming to you live!
Thursday morning!
That's what it means!
Thursday mornings!
Some people say, Tim, when you do the show, I say Thursday mornings.
10 a.m. here on the West Coast, 12 p.m.
1 p.m. on the East, and other times elsewhere.
Vic, welcome to the experience.
Good to have you.
I'm very happy to be here today.
And I'll turn things over to Doug Lusenhop, DJ Doug Pound.
Good to have you on the experience as well.
Thanks, Tim.
I'm looking up Jesus Jones.
Jesus Jones!
What's he up to?
What's the latest from Jesus Jones, everybody?
I'm trying to see what Jesus Jones has been up to.
Oh, there's a good Bob Dylan drop in there.
Let's get our Casey Kasem's Lotto Picks of the Week.
Katie, if anyone plays...
I don't play lottery.
I don't play lottery.
But if I did, we now have a service here providing you with Casey's Picks.
Casey's Picks are coming to you live here on Office Hours.
And beyond the grave.
And these are your lotto numbers.
These are three numbers that you can play in your daily lotto.
Let's hear them, Doug.
Want another one?
Here we go with Casey's Lotto Picks.
Okay, good.
Sure.
Go ahead, Casey.
The floor is yours.
What are the three numbers people should play?
And by the way, if you win...
Now, on with the countdown.
Make sure you hit us up with a Patreon subscription at patreon.com slash officehourslive.
It's always a great way to support the show.
Casey, what numbers do you have for us today?
I'm Casey Kasem.
Case?
Want another one?
I want the numbers, Casey.
One, two, three.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
So you have no numbers?
Got you.
Got you.
Got you.
What numbers do you have for us, Casey?
Sure.
Sure.
Six.
Six.
Okay, six, everybody.
What else?
Want another one?
Yes.
We want three numbers, Casey.
I'm ready.
Go for it.
Sure.
Give us a number, Case.
One.
Six?
One.
Want another one?
Yes.
The third number, please.
I'm Casey Kasem.
I know, sir.
We want the third number for the Lotto Picks.
Want another one?
Yes.
Yeah.
Go.
Good.
Say it.
Got you.
Get us the third number, please.
Four.
Okay.
We have six, one, four.
Those are the Lotto Picks.
Want another one?
No.
Thank you very much.
Sure.
Listen, folks, a couple of business.
We've got a great show today.
We're going to talk.
I'm Casey Kasem.
Thank you, Casey.
I want a goddamn concerted effort to come out of a record that isn't a fucking
up-tempo record.
Goodbye, sir.
Goodbye.
Back to hell you go.
No.
Back to hell.
Bye-bye.
Back to hell.
This may seem to be a strange request.
Okay.
Thank you, Doug.
Sorry.
I just, folks, here's the vibe of the show today.
I briefly discussed that a few days ago, and then we spent the last hour
preparing the
show today with not a mention of Casey's numbers, and it just popped in my head.
I said, ooh.
Okay, good.
All right.
Now retire the suite of Casey Kasem for the day, please.
Let me just calm down for a second.
We're all caffeinated.
We have a big show today.
Future Congresswoman Pam Keith from Congressional District 18 will be calling
in, I hope.
Matt, that's fairly confirmed?
100% confirmed.
100% confirmed.
She's running against my fictional character that I created, K.W. Miller.
I'll say.
And, you know, as you all know, K.W. Miller does not exist.
What was that?
Is that me?
Do you want to, I have a quick quote from K.W., minutes after he left our show.
What?
Like, here.
Because you brought up that his followers may end up killing for him.
He's very concerned about that.
What's this?
K.W. is concerned, because you brought up that he's so, you know, on Twitter,
he's like,
you know, calling for canceling people and putting them on notice, and, you
know, he's
worried that you were worried that people were going to kill for him.
So he took that to heart, I guess, and he...
If anybody watching me thinks that punching, kicking, shooting, maiming, murdering
another
civilian is okay, then you need to go seek counseling, because it's not.
See?
So you're making progress here, Tim.
I know, but his Twitter account has been full of inflammatory nastiness.
It's insane.
Today, he was calling out Fauci, saying that he's a fraud and all this crap.
So, no, I...
Listen, folks, we are going to talk to Pam Keith.
It's going to be a fair and balanced interview.
I'm going to show her the same respect that I showed K.W.
Miller.
The puppets are not here today, but we will...
No, we'll talk to her.
Fair and balanced.
It's fair.
But this is what we do.
We offer platforms for people that want to talk about the issues, that want to
talk about
the things that they care about.
Fair and balanced.
Any crazy person wants to call us.
And then we'll talk to one of my favorite people, John Early.
John Early, great comedian.
Fair and balanced.
And we have plenty of fun planned around that experience as well.
A little show business very quickly.
It is with not a heavy heart, but with, I guess, some heart, we say goodbye to
Starburns
Audio, Starburns Podcast Network.
It's been in the works for a while, Matt.
And, you know, we brought Matt in, of course.
Matt, the producer here, who's done a tremendous job.
Goodbye!
Ciao.
Bellissimo.
And there were some redundancies in the flow and the way that we were dealing
with how
the show came out.
I don't like it.
Get them all out.
So you won't hear on this episode, I don't believe you've heard the Starburns
Audio at
the beginning.
This is a purely independent project at this point now.
We are working with a company called Anchor, who hosts the show.
But we're going to be much more discerning about, if you listen to the podcast,
if you're
just watching this on YouTube, it has no bearing in your life at all.
But if you're listening on the podcast, you'll notice we're going to be much
more discerning
about the ads that get thrown on this show.
There was a, I would say, Matt, would you say, a willy-nilly approach to ads on
our podcast?
Obviously...
A lot of Sklar brothers.
A lot of Sklar brothers.
Loud, loud, loud.
Unmixed.
Yeah!
Much louder than our show.
Even when our show's at a proper volume.
Yeah!
Yeah!
So now's a...
Now's...
No!
There's an anchor dropping in the wall.
Oh, wow.
Thank you for the annotation there.
One more time.
No!
So, we thank Starburns and Aristotle.
Every week, Aristotle did a terrific job of getting the show out on the day
that we did
the show.
Thank you.
Thank you, sweetheart.
But it's just going to be easier and I think a better flow that we have full
control over
how the show comes out.
The other thing we're trying today, just for the hell of it, I guess, is the
YouTube comments.
Doug, are you seeing that?
People are able to...
What?
People are able to chip in some cash and actually...
Let's go to the comments, Tim.
Go, Doug!
Give me a comment from the super chat.
What does it do for you?
Does anybody pop up and you go, oh, cool.
Yeah, one guy says, Tim, I ain't seeing Doug.
Turn up Vic, one guy says.
What?
Tim, I can't see Doug.
That's a great comment I like.
Okay.
I mean, I see you.
Turn.
Excuse me.
There he is, the master.
Stuart, Phillip says, I'm really funny, but he spelled it wrong.
He spelled funny wrong or he spelled...
I think he spelled one...
The comments are just coming in fast and loose and they're flying up.
These are all free comments.
How can you...
Oh, I don't want to hear any free comments!
These are all free.
Oh, you know what?
There's some super chats coming in once in a while.
Yeah, let's get those in.
We've got to shout out Bacon Cat.
Bacon Cat.
Bacon Cat.
Wow.
So, listen, I am not going to become one of these Tim Pool YouTubers.
One of these where it's the symbiotic, almost...
What's it called when you're in a relationship where everybody, you know, it's
an unhealthy...
What's that called?
Ryan Harris can go, screw.
He says, less Doug.
Okay?
What's the matter with you?
I'm on the chat.
I don't care what you're saying.
I'm looking at the chat.
That's where the real action is in the show.
What's it called, Vic?
Dependent.
Co-dependent relationship with these commenters and money.
But we're just trying to utilize some tools so that we can build the show and
make it a successful show.
And it already is a successful show, let's be honest.
And we have a terrific, I didn't tell you guys this, but Time Magazine is
featuring me on the cover, exclusively on the cover for the month of August.
It'll be four issues every week.
And it'll be on the, it's called the Podcast Explosion.
And it will be me on the cover every week in different shirts.
So, I'll be wearing this shirt and the first cover.
I'll be wearing my classic black t-shirt and then some other shirts.
Let's take a Zoom call just to make sure everyone's out there, everyone's
healthy and happy.
I have a boner.
By the way, I got to talk about that for a second.
I sometimes do drop into the Joe Rogan show just to, like, if it comes up in my
YouTube.
The pounding.
And I was like, oh, see what he has to, what him and Bob Saget are talking
about just for fun.
For fun or whatever.
Just to be like, I always think, like, eh, maybe that's a good show, maybe I'll
watch it.
I miss you.
And it's so bad.
It's such a shitty show.
I'm a fucking bonafide moron.
They sit across from each other and, like, they talk about shit they don't know
anything about.
I mean, it's kind of like me, I guess, but...
Vic Baker makes a bunch of very funny internet videos.
They have the most sort of shallowest perspective on everything that's coming
out.
Wow.
All of it is preposterous.
I just, I suggest, try watching the first seven minutes of the Bob Saget
interview.
No disrespect to Bob Saget, whatever.
But try watching that.
It's like a parody of a Joe Rogan show.
It's what, like, it's what you think that show might be about, but you can't
believe it.
Can't we just communicate?
It can't be that bland and boring and uninformative.
Get the fuck out of here, bitch.
Can't someone say what they think and I say what I think and we just decide...
Matt, can you just give me somebody?
It doesn't make sense based on our own words.
Because I'm tired of saying...
Be reasonable.
I'm hitting it with Molly.
Molly.
Yeah.
By the way, I took Molly for the first time this morning.
No worries.
I took the drug Molly after breakfast.
Molly, how are you this morning?
Hey, how are you doing?
What you should think about doing is an ayahuasca session.
All right, thank you, Joe.
What is going on there, Molly?
How is everything over there in the island of the United Kingdom?
She's an islander.
Huh?
It's good.
Yeah, my first day back to work today.
There you go.
Getting things back on track in England.
Congratulations.
We are far from that.
I mean, we're in a terrible situation over here.
Things keep getting wo