Name: Game Night with Tim & Vic
Uploaded: 2020-07-25T06:31:57.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Game Night with Tim & Vic' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Game Night with Tim & Vic' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-25. Transcript available.

Game Night with Tim & Vic

I can hit it, Vic.
Anybody home? Hi, everybody. We're doing a little we got a little slapback
happening on here.
Sounds okay. Guys, just bring this down. Turn your music off. Somebody's live.
Somebody's
got the show on live. That's what's going on. Hi. It's you. Is it me? Who is it?
It's your
iPad. It's the iPad. Well, come over and fix it, somebody. I have it on mute,
so I don't
know what else I need to do, and I have it all the way turned down. Can you fix
it? Hi.
We are here for game night. I want to leave this iPad here. I don't know if
they're hearing
the slapback. Are they hearing it? We can just use this as my Zoom view, but we
are live on
YouTube. Oh, yeah. We are cooking. Wow. Happy TGIF, everybody. Tim Heidecker
here. We are taking
it alone. We're having a little low-key evening tonight. We're just going to
play games because
we like having fun. Saturdays are for the boys. I'm in the Doug chair. Oh, so
this is happening
again because... Oh, boy. See, it's... Zoom... Do you need it? I don't... I'd
like to see the...
Turn the volume off on the thing? Absolutely. It's not letting you? Okay. Hey.
Testing one,
two. That sounds good. Yeah. Hi, everybody. Sorry about all that. Let's restart.
Let's restart
with positive energy. Jesus Christ. Where's Tim in the Zoom? I'm not seeing you.
We've got
a lot of... Oh, there he is. Let's take a Zoom to see how that situation is
going. How about
good old... Oh, I know who we should talk to. Madeline. Okay. Now I'm hearing
music, right? Yes. I'm
playing music. That is supposed to be going on. That's fine. Madeline. I like
it. Hi. What's
happening? Hello. We got Madeline. How are you? I'm pretty good. Where is she?
Can we see
her somewhere? Oh, there she is. Yeah. There we go. Madeline, is it... Are you
on the West
Coast or East Coast or where are you again? I'm in Chi-Town. Okay. So Central
Coast. Central.
Central Coast. I don't like being sitting here in the Doug chair. I feel like
it's not my
responsibility to run the show. And so I don't feel like... I'm like, isn't
somebody
going to yell at me and tell me what to do? I feel very... Ken's going to stare
at... Matt's
not where he's supposed to be. Vic is the only one that should feel like it's a...
But he's
encroaching in my position here. It's just another day. So Madeline, we've got
some... First
of all, we've had some games to pick. We're either... Here's the choices, folks.
We're
either going to play Trivial Pursuit of some kind with a Candyland board. That's
option
A. Because we don't have the Trivial Pursuit board. And... Or we're going to
play Scrabble
or a game called Blockus or a game called Set or a game called Rummy. A card
game named Rummy.
Rummy. Or War, too. We could even play. That would be true.
Rummy. So think about that. Let that sink in, folks. No, we're not playing
video games. We're...
No, War is the one where you turn a card... No, I'm just telling you. In
general, people are like...
Oh, cool. Game Night. Yeah, War is the endless card game.
These are analog games. No disrespect to Limmy and the gamer community.
War, yeah. But we are... We're dads who don't have console. We don't have... Do
you have a console?
I do. I would love to play it, but I don't have time. What do you have console?
I've got a... Well, I've got the Switch. And my son is four. And he's been
playing that
fairly often. Just pressing buttons and stuff. He likes it. But my wife, like,
limits it
to, like, maybe an hour a day under that. So that. And then I have the old... I'm
a big
Nintendo guy. I have all the Nintendo things. And I have the original... Like,
this is very
interesting. Set in. Yeah, settle in. I have the Nintendo Classic, which is the
new release
of the Nintendo system. And I hacked it, so I have every single Nintendo game
on it. There's,
like, I don't know, 500 games on it. Right. And I just have fun with it. I love
it. Do you
understand what the consequences of a bad show tonight are and what Doug is
going to bring in?
This chair might be empty next week. Yeah. He is going to come in so full of
himself. Yeah.
Doug is camping. This is the big news. Well, we don't... Yeah. Well, no. We can
say now.
Well, yeah. But when the news... He's getting married? No. The news broke on
our show. Right.
Eric Andre. Yeah. Eric Andre confirmed that there was going to be some camping,
some mushrooms.
And that's where we're at right now. Right. That's what's happening right now.
So, Madeleine,
anything else you want to add to the conversation?
I think... Do you know what my background is?
In school? Oh. What? Where'd you go? Where'd you... I'm trying to show you my...
I'm sorry. I talked and then they cut to me. It's a map of some kind. It's...
You have
to know it. I do have to know it. Is it... Do I... Am I going to feel stupid
for not knowing
it? Great... I think so. Great... Great hitter. Great... Mitten? What does it
say? Mittens?
Is this something to do with, like, the Marx Brothers? Oh, no, that's... Oh,
man, you're
close. That's Three Stooges. Yes. Yeah, that's... Oh, she's the Stooges. And
they hold on that
shot for so long so everybody can read the jokes, right? Oh, is this when they
were in the Hitler
episode? Yeah. Oh, it's the Hitler one. Yeah. Okay. And they hold on it, like,
a good 45 seconds
so everyone can... In the theater can read it and just... The Motsy, the Totsy.
Yeah,
Hotsy, Totsy, a Tisket, a Tisket. That's awesome. That's awesome. Someone paid
five bucks
to tell us to play Candyland. Hmm. Well, here's the deal with Candyland. I, you
know, we did
the three-hour QAnon episode on Monday, and then we're saying, well, let's do
this game
night. I said, why don't we stay away? Someone jokingly said Candyland. I said,
that's not
get into that, because that's a whole thing with... There's something sick
about it, you
know? But... But if we use it, because we have no choice... We have no choice.
We're
going to use it as a board, because we don't have a Trivial Pursuit board. That's
the news.
But before we get to games, folks, thank you, Madeline. You're welcome. To
celebrate the banning
or suspension of Tommy G, I'd like to present my fake ziti, which you know
Tommy G's jealous
of right now. He's looking at my old... It's not that old, but I want to serve
it up to my
comrades here.
look at that ziti shot. And so, yes, I was... I've left Twitter, even though I've
tweeted
several times since that. I've... I should have brought a serving spoon down as
well. Vic,
do you want a little bit of this? Yeah, let's try that. So here you go. That's
my ziti. That's
my mom's recipe. We're really sharing our COVID tonight, too, by the way. Huh?
No forks either?
Yeah, there are forks. I'm just... I'm using a fork as a serving. Wes, you're
not getting it.
That's an abomination of God. I can't keep doing this. Here you go. It looks
delicious. It's very
good. What's the... Is there one type of cheese or more than one? It's ricotte,
it's
mozzarella, it's parmesan, it's some sweet Italian sausage, and some rouse
marinere, and some
spinach. So this is... This morning, the Daily Beast put out a big article on
Tommy G. Turns
out he was a bank robber. Did you read that part of the story? I did read that.
Tommy G.
It was almost a little sad, though, in a way. He was a degenerate gambler. Yeah.
It reads like a
Sopranos episode. He's in New Jersey. He's in college. Yeah, like 22 or
something. He's like
Richie April from Sopranos. And he's in college. He racks up all this gambling
debt. He doesn't know...
The guys, the mob or somebody... His bookies. His bookies were in the mob.
Trust me.
And he was working at the bank. Is that what I read? Yeah. Or his friend... Or
he was, I think.
He was, too. Oh, both were, yeah. He was friends with the teller, and they,
like, staged a bank
robbery, which is just a bank robbery. Right. But they went way beyond... They
were able to get
way beyond any other bank robbery ever does, because it was like $260,000 or
something. And
they're like, that's an absurd amount. Normally, there's not that much money,
you know, in the
teller's, whatever you call it, rack or whatever. So they knew where everything
was. Oh, so they
knew it was an inside job. Yeah, they knew it was an inside job. And he wrote
it with his own
handwriting. So they were able to trace it to that, I guess. And then... And he
referenced his
mom, right? I think, you know, something like that. He was like, in the note,
it said,
I'll kill you. I'll kill your mom. Yeah. Which is... Like, what bank robber is
threatening
that? Right. Right. Like, I'll kill you. How would you know the bank teller's
mom? Right.
Ridiculous. So he's rotten to the core. He's rotten and dumb. But, yeah, so I
don't think
it had anything to do... Do you guys think it had anything to do with me? I
think... Well,
did it happen after the article? I bet they noticed. Was it after the article?
His banning?
Yeah. The article was about the banning. No, no. It was the article, and then
it was
banned. So it must have been the article. It must have been the article. Yeah,
Twitter
wasn't like bad press, you know? Listen, you come my way, you get destroyed.
That's
right. It's a lesson. K.W. Miller has resigned. What? He resigned? He resigned.
He conceded
before it even. Wait, did he really... How did I miss all this? He stepped down.
He stepped
down. No, he didn't. I'm just kidding. He moved back to Connecticut.
But it seems like he's a little, like, less... People aren't... He's kind of
like the news
of the week is over for him. He's... Yeah, he's old news. He's boring already.
He's a one-trick
pony and just like... It's time. Done. Let's take another Zoom. Another Zoom?
Let's talk to... I saw
somebody from Down Under that we didn't get to last time. You know what's gonna
happen.
I'm gonna fucking eat this whole thing of Z tonight. We should have an eating
contest.
I need that eating shot. I'll be sick out in my backyard.
Oh, here's a couple. I see a lot of couples. Let's talk to Kozak.
It's Friday night, everybody! Kozak. K-O-Z-A. Can I have a fork?
Hey, unmute. Oh, you didn't get a fork? No, I didn't get a fork. My Z is
getting cold.
Oh, you're just watching it eat that. You were just not enjoying my Z?
No, now I'm just enjoying your story about Tommy G. Kozak, are you on? K-O-Z-A?
Hello?
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Hello? Oh. Mute your stream. Yeah, there they are.
In the land of Wanda. The land down under. What's up, you two? You guys boinking?
Oh, yeah. We both boinked a little too much. Whoa. Whoa. Oh, yeah. I hear that.
So...
What? Oh, Jesus. There's a baby monitor. Oh. Got a little baby. How old?
So, now you guys... Well, you guys are very young. How old are you guys?
33. Yeah, 33. That's good, you know. I think that's good. Yeah, yeah.
Mommy, please take me home. I mean, it's whenever, but... So, now you're in
this place where it's
Friday night. You're not going anywhere. You're sitting here hanging out with
me.
Yes. You're filling up your baby registry. I mean, not that you would go out
anywhere anyways, but... What's on your baby registry?
Nothing anymore. Yeah, nothing. That's long past. Oh.
You don't don't like stuff anymore after about a year.
Then you're on your phone. I'm in ZD Land. I thought... I didn't see the
picture.
ZD Heaven. I thought the picture that they put up was a ultrasound. I couldn't
see it.
My eyes are so bad. I was like, oh, it's on the way. So, I was like, okay.
Wait, how old's the baby?
She's 16 months. Oh, okay.
Oh, okay. Oh, yeah.
Mommy, mommy, please settle in.
We should have got some wine.
We're all dads here. We can have some parent chat.
Yeah. Yeah. Do you have any advice you need or do you have any questions?
I got three expert dads here tonight.
Yeah. I wouldn't go that far.
Right now, I think our biggest struggle right now is dealing with the baby
socially isolating with a baby.
She wants to go up to everybody and pet all the dogs and talk to everybody and
we have to keep telling her no, stay six feet ba