Name: Joe Biden's "EX-LOVER" Tells All! (PLUS The Lemon Twigs & Sara Schaefer on OHL Ep 124 8/20/20)
Uploaded: 2020-08-20T19:07:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Biden's "EX-LOVER" Tells All! (PLUS The Lemon Twigs & Sara Schaefer on OHL Ep 124 8/20/20)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Biden's "EX-LOVER" Tells All! (PLUS The Lemon Twigs & Sara Schaefer on OHL Ep 124 8/20/20)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-20. Transcript available.

Joe Biden's "EX-LOVER" Tells All! (PLUS The Lemon Twigs & Sara Schaefer on OHL Ep 124 8/20/20)

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I like to laugh.
I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
I like having fun.
Yes, I like to laugh.
I like having fun to meet people who laugh.
Good morning everybody! Good morning everybody! We are live! We are live from
the Santa Cam! We got the little tricks, we got the homie tricks! We'll be at
you soon! I'm going to throw it over to Doug, DJ, Doug, Doug! Pour myself, Doug!
Pour some hot coffee down my throat! Right now!
Come on, Doug! You got that!
All right, everybody! Good morning! Obviously, a lot going on today. We're
going to have a tremendous, tremendous show.
It is always, in this universe, it is always Thursday, August 20th, 2020, here
in Glendale, California.
Coming from the Heidecker Compound!
Vic Berger has moved into the Heidecker Compound. He is now living off my,
living in one of our guest houses.
And hopefully, he won't find reason to leave the show and start his own good
morning show, where he discusses the news of the day and takes Super Chats.
Join us in the Super Chat, by the way. Throw us some cash.
If you're not a member of the Patreon, it is your patriotic duty to support the
Holy Trinity.
If you do send us a few, $5 or more, Doug will be watching and acknowledging
you, because that's what it takes.
Cold, hard cash.
Join Patreon at patreon.com slash officehours live and subscribe to this
channel here on YouTube and subscribe to the podcast.
Uh-oh. I think I lost my voice.
Who cares?
Doing that big opening.
Obviously, we are adding a new camera to the format of the show, which is very
exciting.
Good morning, boys.
Good morning, Tim.
I hate these people like me, for instance, who have these giant water things,
and they're like, you see them in a lot of, you know, I'm in a lot of Zoom
meetings, a lot of important meetings, and you just see guys.
Well, what's the alternative, though?
Little glasses, little cups.
Straws.
People are so hydrated nowadays.
And now, you'll see, I'm going to have to wee-wee in a few minutes.
All right, well, that's our show.
I have nothing more to add.
Thank you, everybody, for your diet tips.
The big reaction last week was from Coach Josh, who was encouraging a protein-rich
diet.
And right away, there was pushback on that.
People, I respect Coach Josh, but there were people that right away said, no,
Tim, you've got to do more of a fiber-based, plant-based diet.
Don't do the, stop eating meat.
And I've always, you know, I've gone through, I've tried that before.
And I have to tell you, it hit this, somehow it hit me harder this time.
And basically, since last week, I've just been eating fruits and vegetables and
beans and nuts.
All in trinity.
Yes, Tim, yes.
And it feels good.
I feel alive again.
I'm back.
Yes.
Thank you, Tim.
You know, I haven't told you this yet, Doug.
And everybody, I haven't told anybody this.
But I've lost 25 pounds since last week.
25 pounds since last week.
Yeah.
Wow.
We.
And partly because I got my foot bitten off by a dog.
But, no, what happened, you know, I've been doing these mega walks.
I've been walking just because, A, there's nothing to do.
There's lots of time to kill in the day.
I know it's not the case for you, Vic.
Did you lose that much weight for real?
No, I didn't lose.
I lost like three pounds or something.
Yeah, I don't have enough time to do anything.
But I am able to find a couple hours in the morning where I could just go.
And I live on a hill.
So, I walk down the hill.
I walk up another hill.
And I walk back down that hill.
And then walk back up my hill.
Okay?
And it averages around six to seven miles.
And sometimes I'll do a little more.
So, I've been really enjoying it.
And it's been hot.
It's fine to do a bed.
It's fine to do a bed for this story.
I think it's fine.
Now, Tim, when you get back from your walk, do you reward yourself with a big
chocolate cake?
No.
No, I just have a bunch of water.
And I tell you, I love it.
And I'm texting.
And I'm doing phone calls or doing stuff.
I'm being productive on the walk.
But I'll tell you what happened yesterday.
I got some new sneakers.
And they're Allbirds, which I like.
It's not a commercial for them.
But Allbirds?
Allbirds.com.
I love them.
They make good shoes.
Not a commercial or anything.
But this is a new pair of running shoes.
And I should have known this.
But for a cheat, you know.
What's that music?
I keep thinking.
I'm so lucky.
I haven't gotten any blisters.
I haven't gotten any blisters.
I'm talking to you.
Okay.
Okay.
No blisters.
No blisters.
So I'm blessed.
I said, I haven't gotten any blisters.
So I put these new shoes on about, literally about a halfway through the hike.
No, halfway through the hike.
So picture this.
I'm halfway.
I'm not doing a loop.
I'm like, you know, I've got to walk back the three or four miles, right?
So about three or four miles into the hike, into the walk, I feel it on the
back of my ankle.
I feel the rub.
Okay.
I feel the rub.
And I think, well, let me see if I can push through this for a little bit.
Okay.
And it's getting worse and worse and worse.
And I don't know.
It's in that place behind my ankle where, can we get my piano cam on the back
of my heel, maybe, somebody?
That could be cool.
Are you going to, somebody can do that?
Are you going to do it like that?
Oh, yeah, I can do that.
Vic, who's that author that?
Oh, Joyce Carol Oates.
Don't pull a Joyce Carol Oates on us, Tim.
Why not?
That got a lot of hits.
So what happened was, look at this.
Look at the back of my feet.
So what happened was, actually, this one's much worse.
You can't see because of the Band-Aids, but you can tell.
But so what happened is, the pain, it quickly became unbearable.
And, you know, I decide my only option is to take my shoes off.
So I end up walking three and a half miles back to my house in my socks.
And then I start trying, because that starts hurting in its own way, right?
The pounding.
That my socks start ripping underneath.
And then I'm like, well, I'll put the shoes on, but I won't put them all the
way on, you know?
So I'll be like, so I'm like walking up this hill, hobbling.
Walking up with my shoes half on.
You know, birds aren't really known for their walking.
So why would you name your shoes after birds?
All birds.
All birds.
Whoa.
I'm sorry.
I have to break in here with some news.
Uh-oh.
Let's bring a Zoomer in.
Matt, give me anybody.
It does not matter.
It does not matter.
I have breaking news.
Is this breaking news?
I had somebody.
You should have many.
You should have many.
But we wanted everyone.
Is this entertainment news, Ted?
It is entertainment news.
I encourage everybody to open up a new tab.
Or if you insist on opening a new window.
Open a new window in Chrome or Safari.
Type in a wonderful site.
A Hollywood site known as Deadline.com.
Turn it on.
Vaughn, you're on.
Vaughn.
Hello.
Vaughn, are you sitting down?
Yes.
Okay.
Vaughn.
Standing up.
Vaughn, my love.
Yes.
Vaughn, by the way, is the longtime chat moderator of the chat here on Office Hours.
She's been the, I'd like to think of her maybe sort of as a hall monitor.
You've donated your time to this.
It's unbelievable.
You care about me.
You care about the quality of the chat.
You want to make sure that it's not filled with jerks.
Right?
Yes.
Is it exhausting?
Is it stressful?
Sometimes there are some people that don't get it.
Nope.
Don't get it.
F them.
And, you know, start banning people entirely, by the way.
I'll give you that permission to fully remove people from the Heidecker.
I'll start fucking banning people from Patreon.
Here it is.
Now, Vaughn, you're clearly sitting down.
You're clearly sitting down, which we love.
I'm not standing up at all.
Oh, you are?
No, I say I'm not.
Okay, good.
Here is the news.
This is from Deadline.
The headline from Deadline reads as such.
Time orders Moonbase 8.
Comedy series from Fred Armisen, Tim Heidecker, John C. Reilly, and Jonathan
Kreisel.
Showtime has picked up Moonbase 8, a half-hour workplace comedy series from
Portlandia.
Co-creators Fred Armisen, Jonathan Kreisel, Tim Heidecker, John C. Reilly.
It's slated.
This is the key, gang.
This is slated to premiere this fall.
Oh, thank God.
Thank God, everybody.
Come on.
Let's get the clap.
Let's clap together.
Let's clap together.
Thank God.
Let's hear it, Zoomers.
Come on.
Let me hear it.
Let me see you.
And your prayers have been answered.
There's more content.
Now, who has Showtime?
Who doesn't?
We're not going to get into that.
It's Showtime.
There you go.
All right.
That's the big news.
Do you feel something?
Let's all pat myself on the back.
Vaughn, what else is going on?
Holy shit.
How exciting is that for you?
First reaction.
I've been wondering about that for a long time because all your other works has
been kind
of coming out.
But that Moonbase 8, it seemed like it took like two years for that to come out.
It took forever.
What the heck is going on?
And I will talk in the coming months much more about the process by which this
kind of
went down a very strange road by which it is coming out.
Mostly because John and Fred and I and Jonathan Kreisel decided to try to do
the whole, make
the whole show sort of on spec with A24.
So we did not have a network associated with it.
And it's a very big, scary thing to go around and say, hey, here's a show we
made, six episodes.
It's not going to be cheap for you.
What do you want it?
And it took a while for people to wrap their heads around that.
A lot of these places, they want to develop the show themselves.
So anyways, it's huge news.
It's a big relief.
I can't tell you exactly the day it's going to come out, but that'll come soon.
There'll be a trailer.
There'll be billboards.
There'll be, I'll be doing every talk show you can imagine.
I'll probably be doing everything.
You're going to see me on the Fallon show and the Colbert show and the report
and Charlie
Rose, if he's still working.
Oh my God.
And Joe Rogan I'll do.
I'll sit down with Joe Rogan.
I'll sit down and do my three, three hours with him.
I'm a fucking bonafide moron.
You know, and I'll call out his bullshit like Bill Barr did.
I do, I do have one question.
Go ahead, Bill Barr.
Bill Barr.
Bill Barr on some problems.
What about, somebody was mentioning this.
What about the stand-up special?
Is that ever coming out or is this?
That's coming out too.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I'm doing with that like 99% chance?
That's coming out here on this channel here on my channel.
I'm on the YouTube channel.
It sounds like a dope band.
Do you hear me, Matt Van Damme?
Do you hear me, Jason Mott?
Do you hear me, Dan Doherty?
Do you hear me, Marianne?
Do you hear me, Zach?
Cutly, cutly, cutkey.
I'm tired.
I'm tired.
Shit my pants.
That's the news.
I think that's going to come out in October, frankly, to be honest with you.
Oh, they're clever.
Big, lots going on, folks.
I want to just get to everything.
I want to talk quickly about Steve Bannon was arrested this morning, naturally.
No, no, no, no, no.
She did.
She just asked me about the stand-up special.
I think she had something else.
You have something else, Vaughn?
No, no.
Oh, that's it.
Thank you.
Oh, yeah.
Matt, you have to-
Well, then let's let her get back to work.
Matt, you have to start doing a better job.
The chat is going nuts.
There's like mayhem in there.
We need to let her get back to work.
Oh, yes, please go put out some fires, Vaughn.
I'm trying, but I can't do as good a job.
Thank you so much for your service.
What do you want to-
Thank you.
Let's hear it for Vaughn.
All right.
Long time friend and fan of the show.
I also know something about Vaughn is she's a big David Byrne fan.
Oh.
I think I rival-
When Bannon was arrested, did a SWAT team break the door down in the middle of
the night
and just start shooting?
Random people sleeping?
They took him off a boat.
He was on a boat that he had apparently was renting.
Was he living on the boat or just vacationing?
He was renting a boat?
Seems like a boat owner kind of guy.
I did