Name: Kurt Vile, Tim from Michigan, Bob Baker Marionettes on Office Hours Dead (Ep 133 10/29/20)
Uploaded: 2020-10-29T19:14:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kurt Vile, Tim from Michigan, Bob Baker Marionettes on Office Hours Dead (Ep 133 10/29/20)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kurt Vile, Tim from Michigan, Bob Baker Marionettes on Office Hours Dead (Ep 133 10/29/20)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-29. Transcript available.

Kurt Vile, Tim from Michigan,  Bob Baker Marionettes on Office Hours Dead (Ep 133 10/29/20)

We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
Good morning!
Happy Halloween!
Let's do the bird!
Let's do the bird!
Let's do the bird!
Let's do the bird!
Let's do the bird!
Let's fly!
Welcome to a very special Office Hours!
Let's do the bird!
Let's do the bird!
Let's do the bird!
Spook!
Spook!
Spookatacular!
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being with us today.
I am Tim the bird, the parrot.
I've parroted all the liberal talking points.
I'm a puppet!
I'm a puppet!
I'm a puppet of George Soros joining you today.
With me as always is, he's gonna chew the fat with us from Star Wars.
Let's not start Wars, let's Star Wars with...
Papa Dopp!
Mr. Doop!
Dip!
Dip!
Stripple-y dip!
Step!
Stip!
Stickity-dap!
Dopp!
Dopp!
Dopp!
Dopp!
And the Star Wars Millennium Falcon's co-pilot!
The boy from Ewok!
Mr. Chuba-Duba-Dock-Dock-Dock-Dock!
Mr. Chuba-Duba-Dock-Dig-Dang!
Dug Pound!
Chuba-Duba-Dip-Dip-Dip-Dang!
Dug Pound!
And from the...
And from the street...
From the street named after my second favorite bagel!
From the street named after my second favorite bagel!
That's sesame!
We got that...
Nah, we ain't got no Big Bird!
That's me representing Big Bird!
I'M TALKING ABOUT!
The cook!
The duck!
The mickety-wook!
Not the wook, but the cook!
Now what's...
Mickety-bick!
Steamed cheeseburger!
Oh, cookies!
Oh, cookies!
Cookies!
I could see!
Yeah!
And old baby!
And old baby!
And old baby!
And old baby!
And old baby!
Welcome to the show, ladies and gentlemen!
Thanks for being here!
It is an honor!
Tim!
Yes, sir!
Your favorite bagel is a burger?
A burger?
A burger?
Wait!
Wow!
Sesame Street Dodo!
Oh!
I thought it was Burgers Bagels!
Heck no!
I'm talking about...
If I'm going order of kind of bagels I like...
I like...
Poppy!
Then...
C...
Sesame!
Poppy first is kind of gross!
What?
Why?
Sesame is what you want!
Nah!
Poppy doesn't taste anything like anything!
Don't fucking judge me for the kind of bagel I like!
Sesame is way down the list!
But...
Poppy's up top!
Poppy up top!
Thank you!
You don't do everything?
Yeah, that's...
That's fine!
Everything's fine!
You get your money's worth with that!
Everything's fine!
I take umbrage with everything!
Hey, hey, hey!
Everything's fine!
Okay!
Everything's fine!
Let's enjoy the show for once!
Let's have a fun show!
I, um...
Can't see anything!
Matt?
Is anybody watching?
Yeah!
Yeah, we got costumes in the Zoom!
That's terrific!
Should we check in with one?
Yeah, let's...
I can't see them, but let's try!
Let's take a look!
Logan!
Speak up, Logan!
Logan is a good one!
Logan!
Logan!
You gotta say something, Logan!
From the X-Men!
Logan!
Right?
Logan?
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Sorry, hello!
Hello, darling!
How are you doing?
Give me a gnoc!
Make some noise!
Hey, gnoc!
Gnoc, gnoc, gnoc!
I can only see his name!
I can't see his, uh...
Oh, you know what?
I think I gotta change something on my side.
Whoops!
Oh!
Anyways, it is good to be here!
So, uh, any, any, uh...
Enjoy the show!
Enjoy the show!
And enjoy the show!
Thank you.
Any newbies today?
We've...
I know we had a, uh...
Tremendous...
Try again, Logan.
Oh, okay.
Oh!
Logan?
Can't see anybody.
It's like looking into the, uh...
I know, there's something going on with a guest coming up later.
Or...
Did some kind of...
We'll do a...
We'll do a Halloween spooky sounds montage for everybody as you figure out what
the hell's going on.
That's weird because we just had our intern up on the screen not too long ago.
Yeah, we...
Sorry.
Yellowish pigment found in vile.
Now, what start you shall let us see.
Alright, very good.
Thank you.
I want to welcome...
Excuse me, quiet.
I want to welcome all the new members or new, uh, viewers that came into the
fold over the past week since my stand-up special exploded onto the market.
Hi, Dad.
Last Friday.
And it is a wonderful experience to have so many people respond positively to
something that I worked so hard on.
And is so objectively wonderful.
Thank you, Tim.
Uh, we people are just raving about it.
That's very good.
And it's been an honor to provide you continually throughout this wonderful
year, a year of such great, uh, opportunities for people.
Great, beautiful year.
Are you a comedian?
I love you, Daddy!
We...
Continually, week after week, month after month, throughout the entire year,
have done nothing but provide you with light, fun, great entertainment,
constantly week in, week out.
Whether it's office hours, beef house, uh, the Fear of Death album that now
people are saying is going to win album of the year.
My stand-up special and Moonbase ain't coming out next week.
So we're, we're just honored to be able to provide that kind of service for you.
Uh, we have a huge show today.
Kurt Weill will be calling in.
We've got the Bob Baker marionettes who have prepared a special puppet show for
us.
Tim.
This guy was fucking good.
Yeah, who?
What was that, sir?
Tim Heidecker.
Yeah.
Yeah?
What about him?
What a funny guy.
Whoa.
Thank you.
Is this Howard Stern on the phone?
He was hysterical.
What?
Do you watch the, you watch the stand-up special?
Tim Heidecker.
Very funny guy.
Thank you.
That's true.
He was fucking good.
Yeah, well.
Really?
I know.
I, I'm surprised.
You know, some people don't get that kind of humor, but sir, you're one of my,
you know,
inspirations growing up and it's a blessing and a real honor to have your-
I've been told I'm not funny.
What's that?
Well, I've been told I'm not funny.
That's true.
A lot of people do not find my antics humorous.
Tim, I have a question for you.
All right.
He's hysterical.
Thank you.
Anyway, the hour long special is called an evening.
Evening, evening, evening, evening. Very good. I'm gonna, you know what, I'm
gonna. Alright, I'm gonna try again. Say something. I think we can bring it up
now. Alright, thank you. Yes, hello. There we go. Here's Logan. Alright, right
on. Oh, look at that. Oh, it is. Hi, everybody. That's me. It's your old friend,
Tim Heidecker. Good afternoon, guys. We shall take the parrot head off. Great
caution, Logan. Come on. Tell you what, I gotta go to a. Is Logan a finalist? I
think maybe.
I gotta go to a Jimmy Buffett concert with this thing, don't you think, guys?
Hey, look at that. The Three Stooges. Now, the guys and I were talking about
what we were gonna do for this Halloween spectacular. And the first idea that
came from Doug was the Three Stooges. We should dress up as the Three Stooges.
I'm happy to have. Another idea. Another idea that got passed around, lobbed
around, was that we would dress up like people from the Tim Pool show.
That we'd have a Kriggler and then the new Kriggler. Have you seen this? The
Tim Pool show has a new Kriggler. Or just all Krigglers. Or all Krigglers.
And then Doug said, you know what? Why don't I just, there's this costume shop
in Glendale where, like, you can rent the real deal stuff.
I'll go and I will use my creativity to find the costumes that I think will be
good for the show.
Come on!
And he came back with a big miss because, you know.
Well, the shop was closed.
Oh my, you know, the plugs on Chewbacca are a problem. I think you've got to,
the only way to sell that is if you lean back.
I had to go to a different shop, Plan B.
Chewbacca's got some cool bangs, though.
Chewbacca looks like he's, things have not been going well for him and he's
been on.
He's using good shampoo.
No, he looks like Chris Gaines.
It looks like he only takes care of those, the bangs.
Everything else is just left to go.
All matted.
Well, anyways.
Chewbacca's kind of a...
What other...
So, our friend there, the Three Stooges friend, is definitely a contender for
the costume contest winner today.
Do we have anybody else that's even in the running, Matt?
Let's talk to Olaf.
Olaf.
Hello, Olaf.
How you doing, mate?
Hey, what's up, y'all?
How's it going?
Yeah, yeah, it's going okay.
You're dressed up as a sort of stock banana.
Yeah, I'm pretty stock banana.
This costume's been through some shit, also.
Sounds like Dole.
It's an impression of Bob Dole.
No, Cole Cush is Dole.
Oh, right.
That's right.
I was making a joke about...
A pun about...
I was thinking maybe I could make my beak works.
Oh, I think that one's great.
That could be a way to go.
What do you think?
You can't see, but...
I think it works.
Can you get a good squawk with that?
Oh, that's a great squawk.
You know, I actually have parrots on my property.
Vic knows, because he's...
Yeah, I take care of them.
That's part of my job here.
He's the caretaker of the wild birds.
You were attacked by a hawk.
A hawk came in and went for that afro.
Thought there might be some bugs in there or something.
Or make a nest out of it.
I like that close-up.
You can zoom in to Chewy's...
Yeah, get into Chewy.
Tiki Monster's mouth.
Big Big Bulldog.
Olaf, do you have some music for us you'd like to play?
I can't...
Do you want me to play you something spooky?
I can try.
Okay.
I can give it a shot.
Wait, hold on.
Can I drink my coffee with this beak?
Thank you very much, Olaf.
Beautiful music.
All right.
Should we see some more costumes?
One more costume, and then we'll get into the meat of the show.
All right.
Cammie.
Cammie?
Cammie?
How do you pronounce that?
Cammie.
Okay, Cammie.
Hi.
Cammie, what the hell?
Are you dressed up as someone from Reno 911, or what's going on?
I'm trying to be Bernie Lomax.
Waking up Bernie.
Are you?
Well, you're very...
Waking up Bernie.
I'm just so happy that you are entertaining yourself.
I know.
You seem to enjoy your spirit here.
Good for you.
Didn't worry about the hair.
You kind of went...
Yeah, I know.
I have to buy a wig.
You do at some point.
Are you having any Halloween plans?
No.
I don't want to, like, get sick, so I'm just going to...
I hear you.
I don't want to be here for Bernie.
No.
I like your...
I like that you have the monitor.
You have the show behind you.
You've got a whole tech rig back there going on.
You're very...
I know.
Look at that.
Fancy.
Connected.
Is that a...
Oh, should I ask?
That's a fake nose, right?
Or no?
No, that's the rest of the...
Oh, Jesus.
I knew I should...
I was almost going to stop myself, but there's something about the...
No, it's cool.
No, there's something about the lighting of your...
The sun...
There's a shadow that...
Do you see what I mean, guys?
I thought it was attached to the glasses.
Yeah, I thought it was one of those Groucho Marx deals.
I'll probably vote for Bernie.
No, fake...
My sessions don't help people with big noses.
You have a lovely nose.
God bless you.
No, I don't, but that's cool.
Look at this beak.
I mean, come on.
We're talking about beaks.
Hallelujah.
Good Lord.
I can see nothing.
I know.
We know, Doug.
You have every...
You can take that silly mask off if you want.
At any point, no one's going to judge you.
I just don't want to hear you complaining about not being able to see.
It was your own choice.
City of the day.
City of the day.
City of the day.
I couldn't find the cat one.
Oh, yeah.
By the way, producer Matt is getting a spanking.
He's getting a spanking after the show because suddenly he's running the social...
Anybody interacting with the Office Hours account, whether it be Twitter or
Instagram,
or whatever, there should be a big warning on there.
Just like when you try to click through to the New York Post story about Hunter
Biden.
There it is.
Big warning.
If you interact with this account, you're not speaking with Tim Heidecker.
You're speaking with the producer Matt.
Producer Matt went ahead and began the kitty of the day.
He didn't ask you about that.
He did not bring it up.
There's ample opportunities to bring these ideas up in our various meetings we
have.
Suddenly, it's just...
He's out on the range.
He's gone...
What's the word for it?
He's gone rogue.
Like Sarah Palin.
He's gone rogue.
Oh, rogue one.
Sarah Rose rogue one.
He can go his own way.
That was a fan demand.
Fans demand.
Well, I don't listen to the fans.
You know, my whole career, I've said, thank you for your support.
Thank you for enjoying my work.
But I'm not