Name: John C. Reilly & Jonathan Krisel, Megan Koester and DJ Douggpound (OHL Ep 134 11/5/20)
Uploaded: 2020-11-05T20:14:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'John C. Reilly & Jonathan Krisel, Megan Koester and DJ Douggpound (OHL Ep 134 11/5/20)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'John C. Reilly & Jonathan Krisel, Megan Koester and DJ Douggpound (OHL Ep 134 11/5/20)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-05. Transcript available.

John C. Reilly & Jonathan Krisel, Megan Koester and DJ Douggpound (OHL Ep 134 11/5/20)

I'll see you next time.
I'll see you next time.
I'll see you next time.
What a beautiful day it is here in the city of Glendale.
I couldn't be happier.
I couldn't be more jazzed to be spending my morning with you, taking a little
bit of time
to appreciate the opportunity we have through technology, through the Wi-Fi.
Thank you, Jesus.
Through Spectrum Cable, which is my cable provider, through the incredible work
of Tim Apple.
Amen.
And the gang at Apple who have created these computers that we use, as well as
other products
that Wes uses, Samsung's in the game.
Thank you, Tim.
And all kinds of different plugs and routers have been so easy to operate for
the gang.
Going to also thank our microphones and mice and keyboards as well.
So thanks to Zoom.
And let's welcome my crew today, my squad, the gang.
We have with us, of course, as always, he was with me Tuesday night.
It was a long night.
It was a long night.
What are you about to tell a bedtime story?
How long was it?
That is my dad.
VB4.
Over in the Zoom room is living his life of doom is Doug Loom, Loosenhop, just
hanging out.
He'll be chiming in throughout the day.
Uh-oh.
Not now, though.
Great.
All's good.
Your audio went away.
What happened, Wes?
Is that...
Recharge your SM58, Doug.
He's speaking and terrific stuff going on with the show, as always.
I also don't see the show up on the monitor over here, Wes, if you're familiar,
if you're
acknowledging that.
Whenever you want to acknowledge that.
Wait, there he is.
Is that Doug?
Is that Doug?
Hi, Doug.
Hey, guys.
This is Doug the First.
Doug.
I'm going to do five.
I'm going to do five, and then we're going to take another name.
Oh, great.
Well, this is what you...
This is what I'm saying.
Oh, my God.
I'm a five.
I'm a nay.
I'm a nay.
I'm fine.
I'm just on...
Well, the good news is we found a replacement for Doug and she's here.
The big news is, can I set up the show?
Can I do what I do best?
You work up.
Try to make the show flow in a professional way.
Everyone wants to be the star and the host of the show.
I get it.
It's very appealing.
But it's my show.
I'm like Lennon.
Behind my keister is the great Megan Keister.
In studio, in the Doug chair.
What's up?
What's up, Megan?
Thank you for...
Bing, bing, bing, ding, ding.
I'm the diversity hire.
I'm the woman.
We got a call from YouTube last week.
They said, if we are going to continue to stream live on our platform, you must
include one woman or a person of color.
We chose a woman.
Well, I mean, you know what Yoko said.
What?
About woman being the...
Oh, yes.
Oh, wait a minute.
Too blue?
I'm sorry.
I thought I was on Alex Jones.
Doug, we need you to get on a plane back here real quick.
I think that it's the missing ingredient the show's always needed.
We need, like you have on the pimple show.
The pimple.
The pimple show and other shows.
You have that, you have a female voice, a woman voice that's validating
everything I say.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
So if I'm talking about, let's say, we're following the election results, of
course, in real time here.
And I will start, we'll practice this, Megan.
And I will kind of elucidate on what's happening.
And you just continue to confirm and agree with what I'm saying.
Okay?
Yeah.
I mean, if you could just tell me everything that's going on, because my hubby
wouldn't let me vote this week.
So what we're looking at, what's fascinating is, you know, we've been looking
at this since Tuesday, really.
There's still votes to be counted, but we, you know, if you're, if you're pro-Biden,
you think that these votes are going to start coming in late and they're going
to, they're going to turn towards Biden.
I think we'll have victory.
Honk, honk.
Uh-huh.
Now, you should, Megan, be like, oh, okay.
Okay.
Yes, King.
Okay, King.
What I'm looking at, what I'm looking at actually is, is Georgia, because you'd
think sort of, uh, Georgia is going to be for a Republican.
But there's a lot of diversity on there.
There's a big, you know, Atlanta.
We're looking at the suburbs, DeKalb County and another area.
So there's percentage.
The percentages are really fascinating to watch.
Hotlanta, baby.
Say again?
Hot-lanta, baby.
I'm sorry, you didn't say I could speak.
No, what?
What you can say, you can speak freely, but you can say things like, oh, or,
okay, or, right.
That's so true.
I never thought of that way.
Yeah.
Oh, that's a good one.
That's cool.
That's cool, Tim.
Yeah, man.
Whatever Tim says, man.
Well, I like, Megan, that you're wearing a spy magazine shirt.
I've been wearing one for the past three days.
Oh, that's what I smell.
And I'm not going to take it off until the president dies.
That's what I smelled when you came in here.
But, no, spy magazine, of course, is one of the early publications to be vocally
critical
of Donald Trump back in the 80s and 90s, right?
The hand thing goes all the way back to then, I believe.
That's many years before Graydon Carter got his foot touched by a 13-year-old
on Epstein's plane.
He was talking about how Trump was bad.
He knew the Cheeto man was bad the whole time, man.
Wow.
How have you been coping, Megan, this week?
I kept my underwear on during the massage.
I don't like massages particularly.
I'm waiting for the drop.
Is that the end of the drop?
It's going to be a very difficult morning.
Sorry.
How have I been coping, man?
Yeah, I think, first of all, you've been handling...
That's what you have to do with Vic and Doug.
Uh-huh.
Just let them...
Let them get it out.
Don't try to compete.
I let the men play, dude.
Don't even listen to it.
Just tune it out.
No, but respect the drop.
Oh, respect the drop.
Let the drop happen, and then...
But don't let it cut off your train of thought.
I'm honestly happy that we're still at this point, because that meant that last
night
the Masked Singer didn't get preempted.
Because if the Masked Singer got preempted, man, I'd be like, stop the vote,
bitch.
When does the Masked Singer normally air?
Masked Singer airs, I'm glad you asked, every Wednesday night at 8 p.m. on Fox,
8 p.m.
Pacific Standard Time.
So it aired last night?
It aired last night, and I got to say, the few weeks didn't really seem like
Nick Cannon
was having fun.
I understand the anti-Semitism might have drug him down a little bit, but I got
to say,
he looked refreshed.
He looked energized.
He was having a lot of fun.
It was a joy.
Friendly person who just wants to laugh and have fun.
Are they...
I don't know much about that show.
Are they...
Is this a live experience, or are these already in the can?
Yeah, these are in the can, but they were taped during the restrictions.
So they're taped to no audience, but they've just inserted B-roll of previous
audiences.
And those are weird to begin with, even in non-COVID times.
Those are oddly edited.
Yes, yeah.
The crowd noise and the Zooms and stuff.
They're edited to imply that people are in a fervor.
That people just found out that they were allowed to vote.
You know what I mean?
People are fucking losing their minds.
They've always got to be let down, too, when whoever it is, it comes out.
So how does this work?
If it's pre-taped, how are people voting?
Are people voting for the masked singer?
That's a great question, Tim.
And I'm going to say that, much like our own democracy in America, I think it
might be a sham.
I think the fix might be in.
You know what I mean?
Uh-huh.
They have who they want to see win.
I mean...
They have their plan.
Well, yeah.
Otherwise...
Why the fuck would Baby Alien get voted off, man?
See, I don't know.
You know how fucking cute Baby Alien is?
Who is the most...
Who is Baby Alien?
I don't even know who that is.
Yeah.
Well, who's the most famous person to have been de-masked?
De-masked?
Yeah.
Unmasked.
I would say Mickey Rourke.
Really?
And he unmasked himself.
He just said, I'm sick of this shit, and he takes the thing off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you can't smoke in the mask.
He's the thing.
I wonder if there were people involved.
Of our favorite...
You know, we got the astronaut.
Uh-huh.
We got Miss Kitty.
I mean, they're all telling you about the importance of wearing a mask.
It's great.
It's great stuff.
I haven't seen the show, but I don't think I'm going to...
I think it might be too late for them to get my vote, get my audience share.
It's never too late, Tim.
Let's take a Zoomer, random as possible.
A random...
Just, you know, bring me somebody into my lair, Matt.
So I can get a...
How about Austin in Chicago?
Austin in Chicago, of course.
What do you got there, Austin?
You got a package of some kind?
What's in there?
I just got the Skinner sweater.
Don't show your address, though.
Oh, yeah.
I was going to do a...
Don't get Docs.
Docs him.
I don't want to Docs him.
Docs this bitch.
I scribbled it out.
Okay.
This guy looks like Nick Lutz.
Hey!
Oh, there you go.
That's a terrific-looking sweatshirt.
Very good.
Thank you.
Nice.
I'm not a merch...
I mean, you know, Matt, I get a little antsy when it comes to talking about
merch.
I'm happy to do...
I'm happy to have merch.
It's just going over the sizes and the stocking and...
Bring a great product.
I know.
You hate it.
I actually used a...
Oh, he's got the...
Look at that, though.
What?
Do you guys have him on the monitor?
Matt, are we still doing City of the Day code?
The code has not been cracked.
No.
No.
Okay.
Thank you, Austin in Chicago.
Was it Austin?
Yes.
Dustin.
Austin.
City of the Day.
Are we still doing the code that no one's cracked?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Let me say, again, not to be picking on Matt so much today, but you were so
dismissive
of this code concept, and you said they're going to get it right away, but
maybe no one
cares, or maybe it's a great code.
I'm going to make a prediction.
I think after today's, I think it's going to get cracked.
Because the first two were New York City and Washington, right?
Right.
So, this is going to be the tell.
Megan, we're trying to see if people can guess the pattern in this City of the
Day.
So, we've already had...
What was it first?
New York and then Washington?
First Washington, then New York.
First Washington and then New York.
Cleveland.
No?
Ohio.
Cleveland, Ohio.
Well, I know what you meant by Cleveland, but...
George Washington.
It's Daily City, California.
Okay.
Okay.
Are you starting to see it now?
Yeah, that's what's up.
That's what's up.
I've had some really good pizza there, man.
Well, it's also the birthplace of Mike Carroll, a professional skateboarder.
Very cool.
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This won't be a big surprise to our long-time listeners.
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It's like an ice cream soup.
Doyle's Boiled comes in 1660, actually, beating the...
What's that the famous place called with all the flavors?
Ben and...
32.
No.
No.
31.
You're circling around it, but it's Baskin-Robbins.
Haagen-Dazs has a nine, I think, right?
32 flavors.
32 flavors?
Can we get a confirmation on that?
It's not 57, that's Heinz.
I'm off the grid.
You guys are going to have to Google that for me.
If you could bring it for me real quick, that'd be tight.
We'll find out the answer to that.
But if that's the case, then we're looking at a margin of almost twice as much.
60 different flavors, includin