Name: Tom Segura, Jason P. Woodbury (Aquarium Drunkard) and Justice at Spotify (OHL Ep 136 11/19/20)
Uploaded: 2020-11-19T19:42:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tom Segura, Jason P. Woodbury (Aquarium Drunkard) and Justice at Spotify (OHL Ep 136 11/19/20)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tom Segura, Jason P. Woodbury (Aquarium Drunkard) and Justice at Spotify (OHL Ep 136 11/19/20)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-19. Transcript available.

Tom Segura, Jason P. Woodbury (Aquarium Drunkard) and Justice at Spotify (OHL Ep 136 11/19/20)

We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
Senegal.
Everybody's listening.
The entire globe and what we've been talking about now, the International Space
Station.
Everybody's tuning in.
We have 100% listenership.
When you break it down to people who have access to the show, we're at 100%
listenership, Doug.
No one's ever seen anything like it.
No one's ever seen anything like it.
Good morning to you.
Thanks for being with me today.
I'm with, as always, the Trinity is in effect.
We have Doug Loosenhop behind me, DJ Doug Pound, and Vic Booga.
Hey, are you guys not talking today?
Are you on general strike?
I'm just going through my drops here.
We're busy.
We're speaking drops.
Okay.
Well, a lot of times, I didn't ask you a pointed question.
Good morning.
How are you?
How you doing?
How you doing, guy?
Fucking guy behind me, huh?
I'm doing okay today.
Yeah.
You're doing just an improvement.
That's good, man.
Okay.
What was it before?
It was like almost okay.
It was just slightly before.
Why is it better now?
Because I'm here.
Because I wasn't here.
You love being here.
I love being here.
I love having fun.
It's party time.
It is.
Doug, how about what's your general levels?
Are you at a nine or a ten or a six or an eight?
What are you at?
Out of a ten, I'm up there, Tim.
I've got to say, I'm about eight.
I'm a four out of ten today, everybody.
Tim, I am a four out of ten.
I didn't talk to you guys about this.
My friend Jason Walliner sent me this funny Barack Obama.
Ex-president Barack Obama is out there promoting his book.
He's got a book?
He's got a book.
Look, folks.
Why doesn't he just read?
I wrote a book, all right?
A lot of people saying, how's your book?
I say, well, you know, you've got to read it.
And that's it.
That's all you've got to do.
It's just pick up the book.
And then you can read it.
When people like that write a book, did they actually write the book?
Who really wrote the book?
Well, he's known as an author.
Yeah.
Yeah, he wrote books before he was, you know, he wrote the, what is it, Songs
of My Father?
Songs of My Father, yeah.
But so maybe, I'm sure he had some help.
But anyways, he tweeted this morning.
This was, he said, this was fun.
I heard Tim and Fred were listening to some of the songs on a Promised Land
playlist, so
I decided to drop it and surprise them.
We talked about a lot from Bob Dylan to old school mixtapes in the role music
played in
my memoir.
And my friend, Jay, I thought this was a moon base promotional situation here.
I heard that Obama.
I heard Tim and Fred were listening.
Did you catch that, Doug?
I heard Tim and Fred were listening to some of the, that's, he was talking
about a different
Tim and Fred.
But you don't always see Tim and Fred together in a presidential tweet.
Well, this was fun.
I heard Tim and Fred were listening to some of the songs on my Promised Land
playlist.
That playlist was getting roasted.
It's like real basic stuff.
I guess, you know, it's like Bob Dylan's The Times They Are A-Changin'.
How about that?
That's a cool song.
Anyways, listen, folks, let's get the show started because we've got a lot
happening today.
We have comedian Tom Segura coming in from almost across the aisle for us.
It's a different vibe.
He's a different guy, but he's a funny guy, but he's not somebody in our scene,
which is
exciting to me to talk to somebody that's not in that, you know.
Alt-Comedy Cool Club.
He's just a funny guy.
Yeah, he's a comedian.
We're going to talk to him.
We're going to talk to...
A friend of mine had to go to a doctor and they had to literally break up the
shit in
his butthole.
Well, I'm sure Vic and Doug have their Rogan drops ready to go.
Sadie, tell me how to pronounce this last name, Matt.
I assume Dupuis.
Dupuis.
She's from Speedy Ortiz, which people may have heard of.
And Joey DeFrancisco from the Union of Musicians and Allied Workers.
They have a group called Justice at Spotify.
We're going to talk to them.
And we have our question of the day, new feature of Office Hours, a question of
the day, because
conversation creates controversy, correct?
No.
No.
Controversy creates conversation.
Controversy creates conversation.
So we're going to start with a question, get you guys talking, get you guys
thinking.
It's going to be an exciting new feature.
The question of the day is...
What's the question of the day?
What's this?
This is their theme song.
Thank you.
What's the question of the day?
What's the question of the day?
Little Donovan.
Uh-huh.
What's the question of the day?
So that was a quick demo I made just about 10 minutes ago and sent it over to
Vic via the
Voice Memo app.
And also, may I add, AirDrop, which was helpful, too, to get that over.
Question of the day is, speaking of Thanksgiving, which we're not, what
Thanksgiving side has
got to go?
Should we pick somebody?
If you don't feel comfortable answering that question, you could also answer,
what Thanksgiving
side makes you got to go?
What a terrible question to end.
Come on.
Where's my farts?
Where's my toilet drops?
Oh, what's this?
I hit the scat box.
The super chat is engaged.
So if you are interested in sending the guys and myself a couple bucks, get
your question.
Oh, my God.
I'm a little slow with the drops today.
You are.
I feel like the Thanksgiving sides, those are typically, they're going to fill
you up like
spackle.
They're not going to make you run to the, you know, they're not spicy.
They're not.
But what about something like yams?
I was going to say yams with marshmallows on it.
That's going to make you.
Oh, yeah.
That weird dish.
Or collard greens.
Some kind of green roughage thing is going to come right on out.
What do you call that dish?
It's like a big square and then there's like the, yeah, the marshmallow one.
Yeah, that's marshmallow, or marshmallow casserole.
Sweet potato casserole.
Sweet potato casserole.
Thank you.
Corn casserole is going to make you go.
Thank you.
All right.
Lots to discuss.
I hear like quiet music.
Is that coming from me?
Oh, that could be me.
Hold on.
By the, before we move on, the super chats are engaged.
We're going to read those at 1030 today in about 20 minutes.
If you want to send your answers or your thoughts that way, that's perfectly
acceptable.
That's a good question.
And I found a way.
I have a, this is new news for Tim.
I found a way to find them all.
Oh, okay.
So you can put them on whenever and I'll find them.
Wow.
So you don't worry about getting our attention right now.
If you want to send in a question, do it that way.
That's a fine way to do it.
Of course, if you're enjoying the show, you enjoy the podcast.
Every week we spend an extra half hour at the end of the, after the show, doing
the after
hour show.
And that's available through Patreon, patreon.com slash office hours live.
Go ahead and like the channel.
Go ahead and support and subscribe to the YouTube channel.
So you make sure that you don't miss a second of the office hours revolution.
Office hours is presenting drop concert.com tomorrow night and Saturday night
with special
moderators, Sarah squirm and Skinner.
They're going to be asking Doug and Vic and to some degree myself, although I
don't feel
like I'm going to have much to say.
And Ben Levin.
And Ben Levin, the great animator, musician, innovator, YouTuber, Ben Levin
will be there
as well.
I'm telling you folks, this is going to be an incredible experience.
This movie, we didn't know what we were going to get when we sent it over to
Ben.
Some of you were there for the live performance.
Here's a great live performance.
You know, but seeing what Ben Levin did with this is truly remarkable.
And I'm not encouraging people to use substances and to abuse themselves, but
if that's your
provocation, provocation, provocation, proclamation, proclamation, proclivity,
if that's your
proclivity, this is not, there's not a better opportunity to engage in some extracurricular
stimulation during the proceedings, I think you'll enjoy it even more.
Nothing.
Tim, we can't do what we do and also enjoy everything you're saying.
That's true.
That's the bottom line.
I understand.
Doug, you got to turn yours up.
I feel like Doug is very low.
He's fine.
I don't hear any of his drops.
We're not talking about the mix ever again.
There you go.
Turn it up.
Turn it up.
Let's get after it.
There we go.
All right.
Let's get after it.
Smoke each other's cocks.
You know what?
I actually hurt my upper chest when I did that laugh.
This is all in pain right now.
I'm suffering.
But I'll continue to do the show and then we'll go to get me to the hospital.
Hospital beds are absolutely unavailable at the moment, but I will insist on
being admitted
and do a full battery of CT checks.
I like camel whites.
My daughter, Millie, is really into the idea of smoking.
No.
Oh, man.
Like just the, she's like pretending.
Where is she, where is she watching Dave Chappelle concerts?
How is she seeing this?
She sees it.
Believe me.
She's got those candy cigarettes.
Somebody made the mistake of giving her those candy cigarettes around the
Halloween season.
Oh, there we go.
Crack.
Let's get after it.
Let's take a Zoomer and then we'll do the City of the Day.
I saw Natalie Lucaccini yucking it up about the question of the day.
Man.
It's already a hit.
Good morning.
Good morning, darling.
How are you doing?
You got a little Mickey Mouse who's dying.
You put him up in a war, haven't you?
I did.
Yeah.
You've died again.
With me forever now.
They've crucified Mickey Mouse, haven't they?
We did.
He's gone.
What are you doing?
So how can we help you today?
Listen, I don't get the green bean casserole.
Why are we baking soup?
It doesn't make any sense.
I don't get it.
It's gross.
Get rid of the green bean casserole.
I couldn't agree with you more.
I think you just basically get yourself a nice blanched, sauteed green bean
with a little butter and salt.
It's delicious.
I suck that ass with a lot of butter in there.
Yeah.
You don't need another glob of goo on the plate.
Exactly.
Thank you.
And unfortunately, that one is my answer to both.
Like, it needs to go and it makes me go.
Like, it's just awful all the way around.
It clears you out.
So clear it out.
All right.
That's one for the green bean casserole.
What a way to kick things off.
Thanks, Natalie.
You're welcome.
It's going to be a brown-themed show today.
I can feel it already.
I would like to second her idea.
People love it.
Casseroles, I would say, strike them off.
I like green bean casserole with the almonds in it.
Cut them up in there and it tastes delicious to me.
That's just my choice.
There you go.
You have a dissenter.
This is why controversy creates conversation.
People are loving it.
I just got 12 text messages in a row.
People said, love it, love it.
This is awesome.
So cool, man.
Glad you guys are doing.
Listen to this.
This is from, I won't say the name, but this is a guy that's won a couple of
Oscars, if not more, for acting.
He says, love this.
Keep it up.
We're a controversy.
All right, it's Sean Penn.
Whatever.
He loves the show.
Who else?
Thank you, Natalie.
Everything good with you?
Well, I muted her.
She says yes.
She's great.
Don't worry about it.
Tim Connaughton's next.
Hey, and by the way, if you don't want to do the question of the day, it's not
a big deal.
If you have something else that's really on your mind, I'm happy to.
It's just sort of a fun way to create controversy, which in turn turns into
conversation, which we love.
That's a good question.
So who's next?
Speak up.
Tim, how you doing, bud?
Hey, what's up, pal?
Hey, Tim and Tim to Tim.
Another fellow Tim.
Listen, this is another new Stanley Kubrick film we're watching here.
This is another new segment.
This is another new segment I couldn't be more proud of.
It's called Tim to Tim.
It's a Thursday for Tim's.
That's what I'm going to say.
What's happening, Tim?
Where are you calling from, by the way?
Thank you, Tim.
Ohio.
Ohio.
I 