Name: Derek DelGaudio & Brendon Walsh on Office Hours Live (Ep 143 1/28/21)
Uploaded: 2021-01-28T20:02:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Derek DelGaudio & Brendon Walsh on Office Hours Live (Ep 143 1/28/21)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Derek DelGaudio & Brendon Walsh on Office Hours Live (Ep 143 1/28/21)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-28. Transcript available.

Derek DelGaudio & Brendon Walsh on Office Hours Live (Ep 143 1/28/21)

Thank you.
Oh, that's right.
Are we good?
I can barely hear myself.
All right.
We have major, major last minute issues here.
I don't want to spend too much time on it, but I do want to acknowledge it.
Not that we, I got to tell you, every time this, every time this happens, what
happens is this.
We're all ready to go.
I make the stupid mistake of saying, you know what?
This is nice.
I love it.
It's nice and smooth.
We actually, we're all just kind of lazing around.
Everything was set.
We did our discussion about the show, having some laughs.
Yeah, this is going, this is smooth.
Matt says, that's the way I like it, boss.
And then all, everything went to hell.
Matt, very quickly.
Fix it.
Just talk, talk me through what happened.
Where was the fail?
What was the point of failure?
As almost as if we're the NTSC.
No, what is it the people that investigate airline crashes?
What are they called?
NT, the national.
AVA?
No.
No.
Come on.
I don't know is the answer.
I have no idea.
We'll be investigating.
And there was some issue with restream, is that correct?
It seems to be restream.
It was a total failure.
It's a shit show.
But it was not human error necessarily.
We'll get to the bottom of that.
Mercury is in Gatorade.
Doug, welcome to the show.
Thanks for being here.
The audience loves you.
You're a fan favorite.
And Vic as well is with us today.
The Trinity is assembled once again on this Thursday morning, January 28th,
2021.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Boys, you're quiet as a mouse back there with you.
You're stunned.
You're stunned.
You're all amped up.
You're stunned into submission.
Yeah, we're amped up.
You're so excited.
I had all my drops in order in my head.
I'm just back there shaking.
You don't know what's going on.
Go ahead.
I had mine on silent.
There we go.
Someone told me long ago.
There we go.
Very good.
Have you ever asked?
Got your CCR ISO.
It's all Cretans today.
Well, let's just talk through the show.
Apologies.
We are starting late.
But I'm going to go until what?
We'll do our full show.
Of course.
We got nowhere to go.
We've got Derek DelGaudio.
Somebody very funny in the audience in the Zoom chat as things were not working
well.
Says they've got Derek DelGaudio, but they should have got Derek DelVideo.
I want to acknowledge whoever that was.
Who said that?
Who in the chat said that?
I can't see you.
We'll acknowledge you with a $500,000 gift certificate to Three Stooges coffee,
which I'm drinking this morning and keeping me up.
I want to say my rageaholic tendencies did not.
I sat here.
I just focused.
I breathed.
I did snap at Vic once.
Because everybody's chiming in with questions.
Is it?
What did you say?
I don't know.
Is it live now?
Or, you know, just shut down working on it.
Well, my hand said it was live, so I was just trying to confirm it.
It doesn't help.
Just let Vic.
Because poor Wes and Matt.
They're just there.
You know, the stress on that.
It's all on them.
They don't need no sideline quarterbacks.
And we're like, did you unplug it and plug it back in?
So Derek DelGaudio, just a genius.
His new special film.
I don't know what you want to call it.
I guess you'd call it a film.
In and of itself on Hulu right now.
It's almost a documentary more.
I don't know.
Oh, okay.
Because, like, the crowd is, you know.
It's like a concert film.
We'll discuss it with you.
This weekend, quick plugs here.
This weekend, Mr. America screening and Q&A, worldwide screening.
People are confused by this.
Mr. America has never screened outside of the United States of America for
various reasons.
So we are showing it Sunday afternoon, UK time, 8 p.m.
You can buy tickets at mramerica.com slash eventive.com.
E-V-E-N-T-I-V-E dot com.
Link in the description.
Link in the description.
And I just can't emphasize this enough, gang.
We are looking at the new year, fully independent financing and funding for On
Cinema, all things On Cinema.
One of the first ways that we're going to start building that war chest is
through this kind of event.
This screening.
It's 10 bucks.
Or you can get a higher level and buy a DVD, get a personalized, all sorts of
shit like that.
So that's a great way.
People say, what are you going to do?
Why don't you do more of that?
Well, I pay people to do work.
I am an entrepreneur, a small business owner.
We need, we don't have Adult Swim who's too busy making Rick and Morty pins.
Pig fuck.
Okay, they don't want to fund it anymore.
Whatever they're doing, whatever they're interested in now, who knows?
I don't have, I don't have ideas about cartoons where people fly around in
space.
That's not where my creativity lies.
That's not the heart of my creativity.
My stuff is niche.
It's not for everybody.
That's why you're so special.
That's why we need you.
We need you supporting the Patreon here, Office Hours Live.
And by the way, the benefits of this Patreon are no, no bounds.
And all I can direct you to is say, last Friday, we did game night.
We sat right in this room.
We goofed for four hours, folks.
And the only people that got to experience that were you, the patron members.
And I'd like to meet people who can make me laugh.
Here's the other thing.
Oh, yes, I'd like to laugh.
We got so high off that.
I started to, I powdered that night and I've been smoking it.
I got so high off game night.
I said, boys, we got to do this again.
I looked at the calendar.
I said, what makes sense?
Big football game coming up.
It's called the Super Bowl, ladies and gentlemen.
It is the game that defines who is the greatest football player in America.
So we're going to do a patrons-only Super Bowl, Super Bowl party down here.
So join us there.
That's what the, that's what, I've never seen that.
They pick the best player?
That's right.
It's like a pageant.
It's too dangerous to play the game anymore.
So they just come out and you have to explain yourself.
You have to explain your stats, how many touchdowns you got.
Each guy gets to run down the thing and catch the ball.
That's right.
It's like a Heats, like an exhibition.
That was like the coolest, like dancing, too, I thought.
There's some dancing.
There's some shuffling.
Shuffling.
There's a rap contest.
It's a lot of fun.
And a band I've never heard of called The Weekend.
We'll be playing the Super Bowl halftime.
Back in my day, you had Tom Petty.
You had Bruce Springsteen, Mariah Carey, Bob Dylan.
I swear, one day, if they get Bob Dylan to do the Super Bowl halftime show,
that would be the greatest thing to ever happen.
That audience will be gobsmacked.
Their jaws will be on the floor.
The hell is this?
Anyways, that's all I have for now.
Matt, did I miss anything?
There's any merchandising news?
Slaps, bops, and bangers cassettes are starting to ship tomorrow.
Word of yours.
OfficeHoursLive.BandCamp.com.
Very good.
That's all I got.
The question of the day, I want to just get the Zoomers to chime in on this.
What is something that you loved, maybe as a kid or as a younger person,
and now look back and go, this does not hold up?
Who are you?
This is also a question you could be asking.
Who the fuck are you?
Think you know what you're doing here.
Who the fuck are you?
Doug, how long have you had the who are you sample?
It's got to be 15 years gone now.
It's one of my first samples ever.
I know.
I'm just trying to get to that first line.
I forgot about it.
It's the original.
I woke up in a Soho doorway, a policeman.
I woke up in a Soho doorway, a policeman knew my name.
I woke up in a Soho doorway.
I woke up in a Soho doorway.
I woke up in a Soho doorway, a policeman knew my name.
He said, you can't hang it.
What did the policeman say?
You can't go sleep at home tonight if you can get up and walk away.
You can go home.
You can go home.
You can go and sleep at home.
What is it?
It's not a great deal.
He wakes up in the doorway and then the cop says, you can go home and sleep at
night if you can't walk away.
If he can't walk away, he's taking him in.
Is that what it is?
He's giving him a pass.
If he can get up and walk away, he can go home and sleep.
He can go home.
But who the fuck are you?
I love when they get to that part because I love on classic rock radio growing
up, they wouldn't bleep that, who the fuck are you?
I'd be like, hey.
Yeah, it's like kind of snuggish.
Same for the Stones, Make a Dead Man Come.
That's still in there.
I got a rock trivia.
Do you know which song has the word cunt in it?
Cunt.
No.
All I know is the outtake of How Do You Sleep from John Lennon.
How do you sleep, you cunt?
Rehumanize yourself by the police.
He says you got your hands in the air with the other cunts.
Oh.
Well, there's an Apex twin song, too.
I think it might have got on the radio.
Was that a police radio show?
A radio song?
Radio-friendly police song?
I was never a police fan.
Oh, I love police.
Come on, you cunt.
We're so behind, though.
We've got to jump in, don't we?
Well, we're not behind because we're just doing a regular show.
Well, Derek is.
That's fine.
Derek texted me and said he's here already.
He's hanging.
Tim, you know...
I'm not rushing to get to Derek, okay?
Everybody can chill out.
Go ahead.
We're talking about the who here, Matt.
And we're talking about who are you.
I'm trying to talk about the who.
That's what I'm saying.
Let's show some respect to Doug.
I think it would be funny to hear what Roger Daltrey would sound like if he's
at the bank
or at the bank or at a store and he still sounds like he talks regular or like
Creedence.
What's his name?
Roger?
Roger Creedence?
John Fogerty.
John Fogerty.
Dan Fogerty.
Isn't his real name Roger?
No.
You're thinking of Roger McGuinn.
The birds guy.
Right, right, right.
What if he sounded like that just all the time?
Give me an example.
I wanted you to do that because I think he'd be.
I'm here opening an account.
Someone told me long ago if you ever see you rain.
Sir, would you like to?
Hello, welcome to Bank of America.
I want to open an account.
I want to put some money down.
I knew this would work.
I got to buy a checking account.
Can you loan me a couple of books?
Sure, can I get your debit card?
It's 225 and 139.
17658.
My date of birth is 22762.
And the last four digits of your social?
1539.
I know.
I know.
Who don't you know?
You know what I got caught watching last night?
God.
I'm going to show you this picture of me last night that my kid took.
This is so disgusting.
I'm a disgusting, embarrassing, pathetic person.
I'm sitting there watching YouTube, watching the outtakes from We Are The World.
Because I started watching that one of Dylan where he's, you know what I'm
talking about?
My son took that, that asshole.
But after my daughter, she's like, I'm going to do your hair.
So she starts combing my hair down.
They're laughing at me, making fun of me.
You look like you're in the postal service or something.
And then I look like Brian Wilson in that bedridden phase, you know?
Anyways, I'm watching these outtakes of, you know, the Dylan one where he's
trying to sing
that part in We Are The World?
Oh, yeah.
There's a choice we're making.
And he can't figure it out.
He, like, can't get it.
Which, you know, I get.
It's kind of, if you're hearing it for the first time.
But then I watched another one where it was Huey Lewis and Cindy Lauper doing
another part
of that song.
And poor Huey Lewis keeps going, like, flat when he's doing his part.
Yeah.
There's a choice we're making.
And he's really good, but he keeps blowing this one part.
And it's, and then Cindy Lauper's so, like, are you hearing all my chains?
Are you hearing all my necklaces?
Oh, boy.
Oh, no.
Everyone loves her, you know?
Everyone's like, this, this, she's a hoot.
This, this woman's hilarious.
What a, what a funny person.
I'm sorry, you'll be, whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
She always comes in like that.
She's, like, holding off the mic.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah.
You'll find that one.
It's a lot of fun.
I was reading about, like, stones.
And Jagger went, he went solo.
I think it was, l