Name: "Tim's Take" EXCLUSIVE Clip from The 8th Annual On Cinema Oscar Special
Uploaded: 2021-04-27T03:03:58.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"Tim's Take" EXCLUSIVE Clip from The 8th Annual On Cinema Oscar Special' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"Tim's Take" EXCLUSIVE Clip from The 8th Annual On Cinema Oscar Special' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-27. Transcript available.

This is a little new segment we're doing called Tim's Take.
Oh boy, I'm going to get in trouble for this one.
I have a confession to make.
I haven't seen a single Oscar-nominated Best Picture this year.
That's right, not one.
Why?
Well, I've been a little busy.
While some guys have been busy learning how to bake bread,
find the perfect mask,
or hide under the covers from the so-called coronavirus,
I have been building this website, The High Network.
The High Network is live and impressive to all.
The first and only premiere video streaming service
to cover not just movies, but cars, video games,
Christianity, crafts, music, fatherhood,
personal responsibility, and so much more.
But these movies, I mean, boy,
I'd rather have the coronavirus vaccine injected
into my eyes than to see one of these movies.
But even if I wasn't busy,
would I really want to take two hours
to sit down and watch No Man's Land?
Hey, that's what they called the movie theater
that screened the movie.
Promising Young Woman, unless it's a documentary
about Major Taylor Greene, I'm not interested.
Judas and the Black Messiah?
Really?
I didn't see it, but I bet money that Manc stank.
Or The Trial of the Chicago 7,
a movie from celebrity prankster Sasha Baron Cohen?
I don't think so.
Sound of Metal?
You would have sold a hell of a lot more tickets
if you called it Sound of Dakar.
The Father?
What's the sequel?
The Son, followed by the Holy Spirit?
Now, that's a movie I'd check out.
These movies, ladies and gentlemen, all stink.
But it got me thinking.
Where are the movie stars?
Where's Tom?
And Tom?
And Johnny?
And Mr. Spielberg?
And George Lucas?
Where did they all go?
Where have all the movie stars gone, I'm asking you?
Well, after a deep investigation conducted by me alone,
I have determined that 90% of all movie stars
are either dead or in hiding
after the successful launch of Zero Hour.
That's right, folks.
Zero Hour happened.
I was proven correct.
All you have to do is look at the dearth of movie stars
that you can't find a single one of them.
There's nobody out there that we remember.
Johnny Depp's gone and Steven Spielberg, Tom Hanks.
They're all either dead or in hiding
because Zero Hour was so perfectly executed,
it was done without us even understanding
that it even had happened.
So I was right.
Everybody else has been wrong.
LaRue, you had to be on the right track,
but you're a little late
and you didn't follow through with all the details.
Shame on you.
All right.
Let's keep the show going.
What is up next?
- Thank you.