Name: Abby Martin, Vaniel Morrison, Robert Beatty on Office Hours Live (Ep 159 5/26/21)
Uploaded: 2021-05-26T18:56:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Abby Martin, Vaniel Morrison, Robert Beatty on Office Hours Live (Ep 159 5/26/21)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Abby Martin, Vaniel Morrison, Robert Beatty on Office Hours Live (Ep 159 5/26/21)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-26. Transcript available.

Abby Martin, Vaniel Morrison, Robert Beatty on Office Hours Live (Ep 159 5/26/21)

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sorry everybody running a little behind i want to put on a good show i always
want to put on a good
show but i don't do the work i don't put in the hard work i let it slide vick
wake up something
funny happened this morning good morning good morning good morning tim Douglas
DJ did it did it
DJ Doug Pound is here today yes i'm back in my studio not uh in a hotel back on
terra firma in my
garage and i'm with DJ Doug Pound behind me and of course Vic Berger as well
good morning how are you
boys happy holidays holidays yes it's the memorial weekend coming up monday i
begin celebrating
the wednesday and i do not this is this is news to doug here that's offensive
what's what is it more
what memorial i'm talking boobies it's a holiday i can get into
producer matt hard at work finding me painters tape prescription and everything
else keeping the show
running first good morning to you good morning tim good morning everybody that
was a bit of hostile energy
good morning tim i've set your conditions i've i've created a protocol so you
won't have to do as much
work tim everything is fine uh and with us in studio my in studio guest abby
martin is here from the empire
files massage and direction and she's been told not to speak but we actually
got a note from youtube
we got a note from youtube that we were allowed to have her on but she cannot
speak on the show
so we'll see how that goes we'll lose our youtube license i said to Vic this
morning you know be a good
song for our kick for kicking off the show today is the song by emerson lake
and palmer that goes welcome
my friends to the show that never ends remember this song listen to this watch
this this kicks
it took me so long to find this because i go Vic what's the name of that song
welcome my friends to
the show he goes you know i don't know what is it welcome my friends we don't
know i'm looking on the
greatest hits of emerson lake and palmer i don't see any evidence of this song
i'm like what the hell
am i did i dream this song is it by yes guess what the name of this actual song
is folks sit down if
you're not pull over if you're driving gray niner if you're i don't want you to
run into anybody plow
into somebody the name of this song and i know this song very well because as a
kid you know classic
rock it was always on wzzl in allentown pennsylvania is always on welcome my
friends to the show that never
it's the name of the song is with a k karn evil nine first impression part two
fuck is karn karn evil nine first impression
i don't know anything about that what a mess
uh hey when you got three die when you got three guys trying to come up with
the title of a song
it's gonna get too many cooks in the kitchen i think it should be karn man emerson's
like no how about
first impressions
what a mess homer's like we'll make it part two though
yeah what a mess what a mess uh lots of fun in store for the show today let's
take a zoomer
matt just to well so someone can officially welcome me back into the studio and
of course
we are gonna we are gonna allow we're gonna break our agreement with youtube
and turn on abby martin's mic turn it on guys at the back turn it on can you do
a test one too
hello oh boy here we go we are now okay hang tight folks this show is going to
be going
truly independent we believe soon thank you for being here thank you for
inviting me you know what's
interesting is because of where you're seated this is a little hard for the
audience to get
i can't see you because there's a camera on you but i can see the the this
thing here right so it's
sort of yeah this is awkward for me it's like i'm errol morris investigative
report with you interview with
you is it awkward for you to talk to me and not see me yeah it's a little
strange but what's what are
you doing what do i care oh there you go that's why we have that there you go
okay so you can see the
interaction that's the dynamics i could look at i could talk to you like this
hello hello over there
by the way that's something i think you know i was just down in atlanta
shooting a tv show
because i'm a successful tv actor member of sag sag-aftra okay and you know a
lot of film a lot
of film guys do this when they talk they don't this is not the sign of the
devil on set this is looking
at a shot this is looking framing if we're going to come in if the camera's
going to come over here
then we're going to also cover it this right duck we're going to cover it are
we going to cover it
this way i wish i was on set more but yeah that's how they do it you've heard
about that right yeah
i thought they go what in the 70s they were doing this right and then they
switched no they used to do
you know this and then it would be this now it has become this so the camera's
coming in can we
actually dolly fred and i when we were on moon base we used to do this we'd go
like could the camera do
like what if the camera swoops down up and back but anyways tim the uh tick tock
directors they're
like this vertical frame uh i bring it up because when when you're doing these
a lot of these scenes
they don't care about the actor's eye line when it as it relates to actually
acting with other people
they're always like put your can you can you look right here you know a little
piece of tape there
put a little tape there and that's who that's me so if you're talking to me you
have to look here
it's like okay i guess i'll do my job i guess that's my just why you pay me the
big bucks to pretend
matt who's on the zoomer i gotta calm down i've got a lot of
a lot of caffeine in me got our old friend annie sway hey any soy oh you know
what matt i'm not in
the zoom can you believe that i forgot you don't forgot i mean yeah you annie
you just don't worry
about it calm down there it's tech talk bang wow just trying to participate
guys
i apologize now we might have some technical difficulties as i sign on to zoom
so i can see what's
going on okay let's see if this works all right annie how are you this morning
what can i do for
you okay thank you i wanted to throw out there um that if anyone has any tips
on tattoo removal
i would love to hear it because i've so like get rid of that swastika tattoo i
get it yeah i know i
covered it with this skull no so these are all these are all college age
mistakes really so that is a
little you know high art for you andy warhol and then so okay i've been trying
to get rid of this
little finger thing that i got when i was a freshman in college and this but so
i looked up this tattoo
removal that's saline tattoo removal so instead of lasers burning your skin it's
injections of saline
solution and so i've done this for six rounds now so like it's scabs up it's
kind of painful i've done this
for six rounds and i've spent like a thousand dollars and thank you michael barbaro
and it's
not it's not coming off you're very close to getting barbaro right
no listen i have no sympathy for you i don't have
i've made the right choice in life i didn't get any i knew right away back in
my early teens now i'm not
getting any tattoos are you crazy what the hell would i do that for what the
hell do i care are
you keeping the warhol though the water what are you where are you fanny yeah
that's a cool one
why do you want to remove them okay i mean as an actor a fellow sag actor this
and this is just like
things i have to do like for an audition it's like it takes you know um abby
has a makeup wear you know it
takes so long to like cover anything especially like ink so i'm just over it
and it's like i don't
want to think of myself at age 20 making stupid mistakes and dropping out of
college
abby any tattoos i do okay i do no regrets though no regrets no regrets i used
to regret getting this
ice cream cone on my wrist but then i thought you know what it i'm just gonna
that's okay yeah it looks
like a doodle you did it's not a tattoo i just did this doodle for my daughter
the other day my son
that's what i tell okay so i have a question then how do you feel as someone
whose face is tattooed on
people's bodies me oh yeah that's true i'm completely disassociated from it i
don't people can do whatever
they want with my my image that that i've put out there publicly you know now
if they've somehow rifled
through private photographs that i that are dear to me i have very very many nudes
that i will never
show anyone but i admire them privately okay annie maybe you can just i did a
really classy sort of
playgirl style photo shoot when i was in my 20s just for private use and they're
very um they're erotic
to me but i'm also just i enjoy admiring myself when i was slimmer and younger
what makes them did
you say they were sophisticated what makes they're very well shot they were
very well they were shot
by a professional uh erotic photographer so russia if you're out there um and i
have the negatives i have
i no one has access to these trust me in fact the photographer passed away a
few years ago under
under quite mysterious circumstances buried with them oh sorry doug wanted to
speak or what were you
how do you know i saw his mouth move i'm observant i try to get i i think i
need some kind of like light
when i want to try to get a word in edgewise i need some kind of like light for
tim yeah it's true
like what if i had a mirror what if i had a mannequin arm that just goes up in
front of you
no but what if we just had a mirror over here video i could just put a mirror
here and then you
could wave i could admire you a little like floaty air guy it's just like dad
loves the town
i don't know i had a dumb idea i don't know you just remove the finger i mean
then you would be an actor with a unique uh you can add that to your like your
resume like
unique features right i think that's a fine finger you're not a harpist or
anything are you you're not
a you could be a well jerry garcia jerry garcia had the missing rub missing
finger speaking of jerry
garcia i have to share this with you again another musical thing that will get
us dinged but as i
continue my quest to open my mind up to the the appreciation of the grateful
dead and all that stuff
i every once in a while dip back in and i do not like them like over and over
again i find myself
rediscovering that thing about me it's a beautiful thing to have that self-discovery
happen and be
reaffirmed by it but i do always say like okay if i if in that world maybe
there's something about
actually jerry garcia that i do like and i do like a lot of things about him
his playing and and his
voice and you know that i would lean if i'm going to give credit to anybody in
that group it would be
to him not that anyone's not that that means anything but uh and so they they've
been putting
out these live compilations of of jerry garcia's band he had his own band which
it's like why do you
need a band when you've got your own like later 90s it's throughout his whole
career but this so i saw
this new thing that came out i was like okay let me check this out and and this
is a cover of one of
my personal favorite songs the night they drove old dixie down by the band i
mean this is a i was
like oh cool i'd like to hear his take on it well again pull over folks because
i don't want anybody
getting injured when they hear this listen to this
whoa wake up no stop stop go back and pick it up virgil kane isn't it can you
believe those guys are
on quaaludes those are like quaalude laced heroin needles all right i got i
double sped it do you
want to hear that yes
that's close man that's close to the right tempo it's better than it's nice
better than normal sounds
regular yeah that's funny oh that's still double spit oh well that's a good
they should remaster that
because that listen to i'll play my my version again listen to this guitar lick
as