Name: Neil Hamburger, Buzz Osborne, Trevor Dunn, Trey Spruance, Todd Barry on OHL (Ep 160 6/3/21)
Uploaded: 2021-06-03T18:45:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Neil Hamburger, Buzz Osborne, Trevor Dunn, Trey Spruance, Todd Barry on OHL (Ep 160 6/3/21)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Neil Hamburger, Buzz Osborne, Trevor Dunn, Trey Spruance, Todd Barry on OHL (Ep 160 6/3/21)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-03. Transcript available.

Neil Hamburger, Buzz Osborne, Trevor Dunn, Trey Spruance, Todd Barry on OHL (Ep 160 6/3/21)

*music*
*music*
*music*
*music*
*music*
Yes, I like it a lot. I like having fun. What is this?
I can't come along this bit.
Alright. Enough.
Fade it down, guys.
Fade it down.
Jesus.
Why does this...
Just fade it down.
Typically it's the part where...
This is the longest intro music of any program.
Yet this is not the most successful program.
And you have no reason.
Stop it!
Jesus.
Alright.
Welcome, everyone, to Office Hours Live.
Tim Heidecker is not here this week, as you may have noticed.
And so we have...
So we have myself...
Hi there!
Trying to really salvage what is a very somber, sad situation.
Unfortunately, with Tim not here, there's really no option but for the show to
be really disappointing or a poor quality.
Because you guys are used to working with him.
You can't just replace a beloved host with anybody, with a random person.
Any more than you can...
If your dog runs away, you can't just go get another dog.
And so what we're looking at is trying to keep things moving here.
But the odds are against us, folks.
I brought in some of my rock and roll friends to try to spice things up, liven
it up with that type of energy.
But I'm feeling that we're already at a big disadvantage.
These guys were in a bad mood.
Stop!
Stop that!
Well, typically...
Have you seen the show before, Neil?
No!
No, I haven't.
But I wouldn't watch a show where people keep interrupting with obnoxious
sounds.
They didn't do that on The Tonight Show, I can tell you that.
He didn't have a couple of assholes behind a desk putting crap in his ears.
So he can't focus on the job at hand, which is to try to interview the guests.
We're just a couple of McMen.
Anyway, we've got a lot of special things here, despite some of the technical
issues we're having with Doug's god-awful music blaring in my ear.
We're gonna give away a t-shirt, I think, and talk to our guests.
We're giving away a t-shirt?
Well, I don't know.
You just assumed something like that would happen?
We're gonna give away a t-shirt.
Okay.
So people can call in for the t-shirt, and I guess we'll take the 10th call,
gets the t-shirt, I guess.
I don't know, do we have a phone?
Stop it!
Stop!
Don't do that!
Do you want to go to a call to see if they win the shirt?
No!
We've got some guests here today.
We actually have several guests.
That's how you do it.
That's how you put on a show that people want to watch.
It's not by having Claptrap blare in the ears of not only the host, probably
the viewers as well.
And then we'll do our t-shirt giveaway, and we're also possibly going to give
away some timeshare condominium vouchers as well that Vic is involved with.
Can I just walk out the door and you guys can play your garbage music?
Neil, you're doing great.
Sorry to interrupt.
We just kind of like to add a little spice to the show.
This spice is more like monosodium glutamate.
This is not a good spice.
This isn't cumin.
You don't play garbage music in someone's ear.
Well, MSG actually makes food taste better.
No, it doesn't.
It stimulates the taste buds.
It's sort of an artificial feeling.
It's like ramming a candle up your ass, you know.
That's not ideal as opposed to, you know, some sort of romantic relationship.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Stop!
Okay, we've got...
Should we just do the...
We've got some guests here today.
Make me laugh.
Go.
What?
Let's talk.
Sorry, we'll talk to the guests.
You know, you guys should be fired.
Well, we can't be.
We have tenure.
You don't come onto a show and have two, quite frankly, obnoxious.
And they seem like nice guys, but then they're playing the stuff very nice
beforehand.
They offered me a cup of tea and then just...
I can turn you off.
Okay.
We've got a couple of...
Well, we've got several guests here today.
And I guess we can talk.
Do we have to do anything else?
You can...
You can talk to our guests, sure.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Intro music.
We've got a couple of guys here from a couple...
I guess you'd call these bad boy bands.
The bad boys of rock type of music.
Mr. Bungle and the Melvins.
Trevor Dunn over here on the left.
I guess it's his right.
And then on my right, we've got Buzz Osborne from the Melvins.
A group that honestly, I got maced at one of your shows.
So that wasn't a good experience, but the music was fine.
It was just, you don't want to be listening to it while you're trying to pull
your eyes out of your skull because someone has sprayed mace in your face.
Why did you get maced, Neil?
Well, this was at a house, or an apartment really.
It was a Halloween party in San Francisco in the Mission, which is a filthy,
filthy part of town.
And some weirdo, honestly, came up into this.
And these people, why would you have a house where you have a party with 500
people crammed into your apartment?
Of course, the toilets are overflowing and everything's a mess.
And then some weirdo off the street comes in and he honestly started groping
one of these girls that was just there.
And myself and another person went and said, "Hey, you can't do this."
And he pulled out the mace and sprayed us in the face.
And then ran down the stairs.
You were oblivious.
You were playing your music in the living room.
Do you remember this show?
I think it was High.
Okay, well, that's a possibility.
So you are one of the bad boys of rock.
Hell yeah.
What constitutes a bad boy rock band?
Are you guys in bad?
What is it?
What's a bad boy rock band?
We don't care about anything.
So it's just a hate.
Hate everybody.
Hate.
Our hate knows no bounds.
Hate the audience.
Hate everyone.
Hate the other people in the band.
Started with our parents.
And there's a bad boy rock band.
I mean, do they drink?
Do they throw up?
What do they do?
Do they cramp on stage?
What?
Who is a bad boy?
Is it Rolling Stones?
Is that a bad boy band?
They drink their throw up.
So that's like AC/DC.
That guy.
He was a bad boy.
Yeah.
He's gone.
And I went to his grave.
I think you were there.
That's right.
We went to his grave in Perth, Australia.
That's right.
On the Mr. Bunger tour.
In the middle of the night.
In the middle of we jumped a fence.
Yep.
Well, we didn't drink our vomit.
But what?
So what is it?
Like who are some of the bad boys?
The bad boy rock bands?
I don't really pay much attention.
Do you?
Is it a drug addiction?
How do you become a bad boy?
A bad boy band?
How do you become?
You know.
It's just an attitude thing.
It's a bad attitude.
You kind of grow into it.
Horrible teachers.
Horrible parents.
Horrible people surrounding you.
Like the management.
Yes.
That's it.
Oh, this is bad boy.
This isn't, this is reggae.
This isn't rock and roll.
You guys are screwing up the cues.
Can we get some bad boy rock?
Bad boy rock and roll.
Ray Davies and the kinks.
Don't fucking trust them.
Ray Davies.
But to me, the bad boy, bad boy rock sounds like children.
So that's embarrassing for these guys.
Especially you get the Rolling Stones.
They're old as hell and they're acting like children.
They never grew up.
I think NSYNC is more of a bad boy.
They're bad.
What do they do that was so bad?
Isn't that a bad boy band or isn't that what they're called?
I mean, they're a boy, but it's bad music.
Right.
Maybe that's all it refers to.
Definitely bad music.
It's just bad music.
That's the bad part.
So you guys together did a tour.
Now I'm impressed with this because I've done a lot of shows, as you guys know,
but not as many as the Melvins.
These guys are in the Guinness Book of World Records, I'm pretty sure.
We drank a lot of Guinness.
Who are the funding?
They fund the record book.
They do, which tells you how legitimate it really is.
The beer company.
Yeah, it's a beer company.
Tracking.
But we didn't, we aren't actually in it, right?
I don't know.
No, we had to, we were told, after we set the record, we were told we had to
pay to be in the record book.
You're kidding me.
No.
Our last, the last show of that tour was in Hawaii and we were supposed to fly
out someone from Guinness and pay them, I can't, thousands of dollars in order
to.
To be in the book.
There is no God.
And we said no.
The record was we played all 50 states plus DC in 51 days.
And we did it.
And they did it.
And so you drove through 48 states and flew to a couple of them.
Started in Alaska.
And then where did you go from Alaska?
Seattle.
There's one flight.
So you flew from Alaska to Seattle.
There's one flight at two in the morning to Seattle from Alaska.
So we played our show and left.
That's what we did.
Oh, that's right.
The same night.
What was the worst show of that 50 state?
What's the worst state?
They were all bad.
They were all bad.
There had to be a worse one.
You mean the worst state?
Most of them are about what you'd expect.
Like a Tuesday night in South Dakota would be about what you would expect.
Okay.
Okay.
West Virginia.
West Virginia was good.
It was raging.
People on probably a combination of crystal meth and cheap vodka.
And the stage was about two feet high.
And I remember I was playing upright bass in this version of the band and I was
worried the whole show that my bass and myself were going to get crushed
because the crowd was right up against us and they were out of their minds.
What about Wyoming?
Nobody goes to Wyoming.
Nobody.
I've never done a show there.
Oh, God.
I remember Cheyenne.
We played Cheyenne.
It was like a community center with a bar in the back, right?
Yeah.
It was great.
It was a really good show.
We haven't been back, but I would go back.
It was better than you'd think.
That place.
I find that with some of the smaller places that they're better than you think.
You never know.
The bigger ones are worse.
You never know.
Sometimes people are, yeah, they're hungry, as they say.
Yeah.
That was a fun tour.
And it's like, you know, once you get into about show 46, 47, you're like, if
something happens now, there's no goddamn way I'm doing this again.
So we have to finish this.
And we did in the last week, we got two flat tires.
One day.
Yeah.
And we almost didn't make it to.
Phoenix.
Phoenix.
That's right.
Was it the same nail?
Because you could have a tack or a nail and you run over it the first tire and
then the one right behind it hits it.
There's two front tires.
Okay.
I think somebody did it on purpose.
That's what we think.
That's what I think.
Did you have any trouble with law enforcement on this tour?
I always have trouble with law enforcement.
It never fails.
You know.
I like that one.
If someone's going to get randomly searched, it's going to be me.
When you guys are on tour and you're selling a lot of T-shirts, I'm sure.
Probably more than CDs.
That's what I hate about audiences.
Don't buy the T-shirt.
Buy the album.
That's what we put our work into.
We don't care about the stinking T-shirt.
Don't buy it.
But you probably sell a lot of the T-shirts anyway and a lot of the records and
souvenirs and you collect all this cash.
You're carrying around all this cash.
Did you ever get pulled over by the police and be the victim of the asset forfeiture?
Never had that happen.
No.
But I did get pulled over at a, we got pulled over at a hunter's checkpoint.
Oh.
And they tore the entire van apart.
But fortunately at that point we didn't have any, didn't have a lot of money on
us.
But they were looking for everything.
Because you've got to watch out now except in Nebraska and New Mexico and one
other state.
I don't remember.
The police, if they find cash, they can say, we think this is probably drug
money.
So we're going to keep it.
And if you want to get it back, you have to prove that it's not.
Move is not drug money.
And people lose money.
Yeah, it's horrible.
Look up, asset forfeiture.
No, no, no, I'm sure.
It's horrible.
Oklahoma is the worst.
Oklahoma.
They'll do it to you all the time.
So you've got to get rid of your cash.
That's not a hard class.
And you can get it back.
But you've got to get a lawyer and you're going to lose half the cash anyway.
And they just do this because they know they can do it.
It's awful.
We just spend it on frivolous