Name: Fred Armisen, Emerican Johnson (Non-Compete) on Office Hours Live (Ep 163 6/28/2021)
Uploaded: 2021-06-29T17:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fred Armisen, Emerican Johnson (Non-Compete) on Office Hours Live (Ep 163 6/28/2021)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fred Armisen, Emerican Johnson (Non-Compete) on Office Hours Live (Ep 163 6/28/2021)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-29. Transcript available.

Fred Armisen, Emerican Johnson (Non-Compete) on Office Hours Live (Ep 163 6/28/2021)

I like having fun, I like to laugh, I like to meet people who can make me laugh,
I like having fun, yes I like to laugh, it's too late for that, it's too late
to stop now!
Come on! Hey everybody, good morning, it's Monday! Monday month, Monday, Monday,
who did it? Sha-na, na-na, so good to me, Monday, Monday, who's it, Doug?
The Turtles, here's the Mamas and the Papas, good morning everybody, a rare
Monday show on this, is this technically a holiday week? Not really, because
you hit the Independence Day on the 4th, it's a Sunday, I think next week is a
holiday week, let me welcome my guests, from Bleachers, the band Bleachers,
Jack Antonoff is here, Jack, how's it going?
Good to see you man, good to see you, what is happening with, you've got a
whole bunch of stuff coming up these days with music, you're producing mostly,
who's your latest find, who you've been working with now, for a while now?
Well I mean I work with established artists as well, like I have new finds but
then there's established people.
Taylor Swift?
No.
Really?
I mean yes.
Yeah, you did work with her, produced her, I mean you didn't like, yeah, well
cool man, you gonna stick around for the whole show or?
Yeah.
Cool man, so Jack Antonoff is here, Lana Del Rey?
Right.
Yeah.
You don't, do you know who I'm talking about?
But and Bruce Springsteen, and Bruce Springsteen.
Oh and Bruce Springsteen, yeah.
Yeah, I did like that.
What was working with him like?
It was great, we just did, we did a duet, are you wiping down your face?
I'm sweating, yeah.
What a rag is that?
What a nice Glendale looks behind you.
Whoa.
Uh, no, Fred Armisen is here, what was it like working with Bruce Springsteen
on that, Jack?
Um, it was great, you know, we just scheduled it out.
You know, we just worked on schedules.
Cause he must be busy.
Yeah, I'm busy too.
Right.
We just scheduled it out.
Just figured it out.
Was it like a, a long thing or was it kind of quick and like a one day session
with him?
Both.
Got it.
Like a, you know, sort of easier.
Let me welcome Vic Berger to the show.
Good morning.
Vic Berger is here as well and Doug Lussenhop.
Doug is behind me.
Why are we doing a show on Monday?
Can anyone tell me?
I feel, I feel like I've lost the plot on that.
I just agreed and I was told what, I was told this is what was going on today.
What is the deal?
You were going to have to do the show on Thursday by yourself.
Cause I think Matt's even gone, right?
You're even out.
Uh, no.
Oh, maybe not.
It would have been me and Matt.
Fred, would you have been available on Thursday or you booked on Thursday?
No, I would have been available on Thursday.
So.
It was because Doug and Vic would both have been away.
That would have been okay.
Can we do both?
I figured you could replace him.
I would do Thursday again.
Why do you do Thursday again?
Why not?
I mean, we can just get any old trained monkey to press buttons on a laptop.
Well, I thought you could replace me with, uh, Ricky Schroeder and then Vic.
Get, uh, Sam Barsky.
Feldman or, yeah, Corey Feldman.
Corey Feldman?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaking of Corey Feldman, let's get to this clip real quick.
We're going to show some fun clips today.
The boys have found some, some real diamonds in the rough.
Now, Jack, I'm going to call you, uh, Fred.
Ah, now I'm getting clips.
Okay.
This is good.
Are you of the opinion that Corey Feldman is a good guitar player or a bad
guitar player?
What would be your guess on that?
I assume you don't know.
Well, I give anyone the benefit of the doubt.
Like, so I don't know.
My assumption is, is that he's really good.
Okay.
Let's show the clip.
Now, this is from a couple of years ago.
This is Corey Feldman.
Live from Feldman.
All right.
We're going to do one more song.
I'm going to play guitar on this one.
Sorry.
Yeah, there we go.
And Marco's going to play the violin.
We like doing a little bit of this running around.
Musical instruments, we call it.
Okay.
So this is a song also off my first album, Love Left, and it's called Walk, and
it's about
bad relationships.
So we're going to leave you with this as a way to move on and walk if you're in
that bad
situation.
Keep it going.
LA Weekly, thank you for doing this.
Facebook Live and Corey's Angels.
Here we go.
How's that benefit of the doubt working for you?
I mean, it's a kind of, you know.
He's playing it like a bass now.
He's got a bass technique and his acoustic.
He has a bass player.
I wouldn't think it would have been better.
They should have stopped and tuned up.
Do you think they're out of tune?
I do think they're out of tune.
Pretty sure.
You get music theory first.
I think they needed a mic, like a vocal mic.
Right, yeah.
If you're getting the room audio.
Someone's asking if the angels are changed now.
They don't look psyched to be there.
But they're good musicians.
They're playing well.
The drummer's really good.
They're all good.
But I think he's just...
The violin's hitting all the right notes?
Yeah.
He's got one of those jumbo guitars, too.
He's a fairly normal-sized man.
But he's got one of those big mariachi bands.
He would have been to get a little smaller guitar.
I have a feeling like he's so...
It feels like he's got weak...
He's got arthritis or something.
He can't fully commit to pushing down the strings or something.
This is what I think.
Turn it off.
Sometimes in the rehearsal, it sounds fine in the rehearsal, and then when you're
actually
taping and the whole band is going, everything gets overwhelming.
It's a mixing issue.
You're hearing too much of the acoustics.
Yeah.
Let's take a Zoomer.
I would have said...
My recommendation would have been smaller guitar, maybe, or electric.
Acoustics are weird.
Acoustics guitars are just...
I don't know if that would have helped.
I mean, maybe the action's too high.
I feel like the action's too high on the acoustic.
It's probably not a great guitar.
But I say just an electric, just like a Telecaster or something.
All right.
Well, we love Corey.
He's a friend.
And playing instruments isn't always easy.
I mean, you know, I don't know that I would have killed it if I strapped on a
guitar.
Let me see if I could do better.
But it was like a weird...
Wrong note, A minor, G.
What's this?
What is it?
Probably C, A minor, G.
I think it's a faster turnaround.
Okay.
G.
No.
Oh, really?
That quick?
See?
Yeah.
Fred's right.
Yeah.
Or he could have done this.
Better in a park than in a soul hallway.
Do the whole song.
The whole song.
The whole song.
The whole song.
Let's take a Zoomer on this Monday morning.
June 28th, 2021.
Glendale, California.
Where it is hot.
Hot, hot, hot.
Hot, so hot.
Our guest is wearing...
Shorts.
Shorts.
That I got in Italy.
Which was where we were together.
I didn't buy it.
No, but the shorts were not bought in my presence.
I was long gone.
But it was on that show.
Oh, dear.
Where did you buy them in Florence?
Yeah.
It was so hot.
And then I just saw a shop and just got them.
Wait a minute.
Let's talk through this.
Because were you wearing pants?
Yeah.
Jeans or pants?
Black jeans.
Black jeans.
What happened to the black jeans when you got the shorts?
So the shopping bag that I got.
Got it.
You don't...
Say no more.
No, no.
Say no more.
No, no, no.
I get it.
Listen.
The bag that they provided me...
Right.
For where I would usually have put the shorts.
The shorts.
I rolled up my jeans.
You know, just kind of rolled them up half.
They almost look folded.
And I...
Yeah, you put them in the bag.
We get it.
Yeah.
We get it.
I got a question for you guys real quick.
When you buy new shoes, do you wear them out?
I like to, actually.
It's kind of fun to just wear them.
Yeah, because...
Put your old shoes in the box.
Yeah, yeah.
Put them right out.
But I do do that.
I do do that.
I did that last time.
I do do that.
All right.
How about Scott Pauley?
You know what?
Well, I have a team.
You know what shoe boxes are good for?
Oh, you have somebody ready?
What?
Old photos.
That's...
They fit right in there.
Yeah.
Bloop.
Oh, you put your old photos in old shoe boxes?
Smart.
That's what my great-grandfather did.
I put old mementos, like ticket studs.
Little trinkets, little gifts.
They go so good in shoe boxes.
Who do you have, Matt?
Jake?
You got something?
Oh, Jake Paul from...
From the internet.
Who's there?
Jake?
Oh, hi.
That's actually my middle name.
Jake Paul?
Yeah.
What's up?
Hey.
What is...
Is it Jacob or is it Jake?
It's technically Jacob.
You can call me Jake.
Yeah, I'll call you Jacob.
It's great.
Can we call you Cub?
That's a new one, but yeah, you could call me that.
Why do you...
Why do Jacob's gotta be Jake all the time?
Can't they be Cub?
Woo!
All right, what do you have for me, Jake?
Kobe.
Kobe is a shortened form of Jacob.
It's the same root.
Really?
Is that Kobe Bryant's real name is Jacob?
Technically.
I think it's, you know, derived from Jacob.
Hey, man.
Hey.
Tim is just joking around, man.
He's just goofing on you.
Dude, I don't fuck around.
Like, if somebody...
If somebody does something to say, I fuck around.
I go right to it.
I go right to the name shit.
You know what I mean?
I don't fuck around.
What do you have, Jake?
What do you have?
No, what kind of car do you have?
That's my question.
What do you have?
When somebody says, what do you have?
It means, what kind of car do you have, right?
You know that.
Come on, man.
No, what kind of car do you have?
It's a simple question.
Oh, my God.
Next caller.
Welcome to What Do You Have?
It's our new show.
We just get people's cars.
Jake, what do you got?
There's a lot of celebrities.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What do you got is what kind of TV do you have?
Samsung, Vizio, Vimeo, whatever.
LG.
LG, nice.
Everyone's getting the LGs.
I have one and I don't love it.
Wow.
I know.
Everyone's dunking on me.
Listen, I don't fuck around.
I don't fuck around.
When I go to Circuit City, look at TVs.
But the guy always says LG.
He always says LG.
There's the bigger ones, medium-sized ones.
They're all big.
Fucking Target is now doing LGs and Samsung.
I think walking to 7-Eleven.
Hey, LG.
Yeah, okay.
Hmm.
I guess, oh, look.
I just spent $30,000 at 7-Eleven.
I'm an LG.
No, I don't fuck around.
When it comes to, like, good TVs, it's always got to be Samsung.
But you know what LG stands for, right?
No.
Do you not?
You just buy TVs.
I know it.
Life is good.
I know this one.
Life is good.
Life is good.
They do the shirts and they do the TVs.
Where's the I, dude?
L-I-G, then.
It's not life is good.
Jake, what do you have?
What is it, Jake?
It's Lucky Gold Star.
Get out of town.
Yeah.
It was two Korean corporations that came together and made LG.
Wow.
Lucky Gold Star.
It's super weird.
Yeah.
What's...
Now you know.
I have somebody, Jake.
Anything else?
I don't think he got to his main thing.
I know.
I'm trying to get to it.
I don't think he called to talk about LG.
Not...
Yeah, I just got unmuted, but I can come up with something.
No, that's okay.
No pressure.
I do see somebody with a go-kart.
Joe-kart.
Can we talk to Joe-kart?
Thanks, Jake.
Thanks, Cobb.
Can you hear me?
Thanks, Cobb.
Yeah, Joe.
Can you hear...
Hey, how's it going?
What are you doing there?
Oh, my God.
Dude.
Are you in at Home Depot?
I've got a little game for you guys.
Good.
I like this guy.
Finqueries.
It's the quiz show where I don't stop the vomit comet, so you got it.
I'm going to keep spinning and asking you questions.
Okay.
Vomit comet.
Let me know.
Are you guys ready?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I'm not...
I didn't eat today in preparation for this, so here we go.
I'm going to get it going.
I want one of those.
All right.
What band released in 1993 smash hit Two Princes?
Spin Doctors.
Spin Doctors.
Yeah.
What hit political satire featured the likes of Michael J. Fox, Richard Pine,
Charlie Sheen...
Spin City.
Heather Lockley.
Spin City.
Fred got it.
Yes, correct.
Oh, they're all spin-related.
Oh, my God.
I'm getting real cautious.
A derogatory name for an unmarried woman is...
Spinster.
Yeah, good.
What leafy green vegetable belongs to the..