Name: The DIVX Tapes with Fred Armisen (Office Hours After Hours Exclusive)
Uploaded: 2021-07-01T07:00:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The DIVX Tapes with Fred Armisen (Office Hours After Hours Exclusive)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The DIVX Tapes with Fred Armisen (Office Hours After Hours Exclusive)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-01. Transcript available.

welcome to office hours after hours you know what divix is no no it's some like
dvd format
it's a it's a it's a way of encoding videos that i guess the only point is it's
it didn't last in
which will make this even the receiver that he's got up on top though that
looks still up to date
yeah the other stuff they all look the same still yeah that would play as like
a high-end receiver
yeah now as with any revolutionary concept there will be some resistance and of
course a lot of
questions so let's take a look at some of the best ways to answer the most
common questions about divix
so why doesn't uh divix have wide screen and multiple angles and all that other
stuff
divix can do widescreen and all the rest it's still a dvd disc but they found
the other guy is actually
like the director he's like i'll do it i'll just do it i need my short sleeves
to be right down
past the elbows as big as can be and then on my orange shirt i want many many
buttons i want a five
button if you sew you can't sew a button on that too we have a three button i
need a five button bolo
now cut it lower okay why don't you say a button up shirt no yeah we can go all
the way down no no no
that's not what i said
it's just not there meanwhile dibbys can play dvd discs that contain those
features so why does the
player need to be hooked to the phone line is only used to initially register
the player
and oh wait rewind this so we get the this question core of this question
because the core is key
i think that's phil lesh from the grateful dead the phone line is only
wait sorry back up the question one more time i keep talking over it
so why does the player need to be hooked to the phone line the phone line is
only used to initially
register the player and to handle billing the phone line is never needed to
watch movies
twice a month in the middle of the night the player makes a toll-free call to a
billing computer
and this call
twice a month in the middle of the night
i don't need to hear anything else thank you goodbye
i'll go back to vhs i'm good
because the player disconnects as soon as you pick up the phone and for your
convenience the player comes with 25 feet of phone cord and a splitter
what if i don't have a credit card oh well if you don't have a credit card
this guy looks like the uh the employee with the blue right you know it's like
they're flipping
what am i am i the customer like actually are you wearing a name tag you figure
it out
thanks now offer free debit cards with a checking account your divx charges
will show
up on your credit card or your bank statement and you can check your account
anytime you want through
the player what if divx goes out of business that's a fair question but why
would you bring that up
yeah you must have a lot of time today that's a fair question it's almost
impossible to believe
that divx could go under divx is supported by major a lot of projection this is
like yeah they're like
fox it's so paranoid and manufacturers like rca proscan pause why bring it up
we are gonna
what what if we go to business dude i mean like what should we do you know what
why don't we just say
let's just say it's not gonna happen it's impossible what but what are you
talking about it might
i don't know they just throw all your stuff away pioneer panasonic jvc and harman
kardon
however should there be a problem you would still have a fully functioning dvd
player that will still
play your existing divx movies most importantly when you see how divx how could
you ask me a question
like that what if you go out of business what are you nuts how's it gonna go to
business
slaps the guy oh out of business are you nuts
taco bell goes out of business i don't know a gm suddenly goes out of business
what are you gonna do that smart guy huh let's just stop worrying
mr negative stop worrying so much huh you're gonna get an ulcer what if the sun
don't shine i don't know
you blow your father with that i can ask a question like that
get out of here who's next get out of here go out of business oh
when pigs fly how about that now get out of here go play your wings dvds
season three of wings on dvd now come on i don't think i got this far in the
video i think
all right let's see what she asked no the movie's on the disc just like basic dvd
yeah yeah divx movies
just have an anti-piracy encryption built into the disc there's a chip in the
player that unscrambles the
encryption allowing it to be viewed on your player aren't these disposable
discs going to be bad for
the environment yep well we don't think people are going to throw out
appropriate movies yeah wait
wait these are disposable that's how they do this what's the answer to this he's
like this guy's
really struggling with his answer look at him however that was like this is
complex
uh technically yes but let me explain sort of a grander macro version going to
be bad for the
environment well we don't think people are going to throw out perfectly good
movies that we watch
actually rewind perfectly good movie you'll seem a little nervous
perfectly good movies you forgot to say the c and i like i like to think that
he has the lines
taped on the other guy's shirt oh yeah he's looking down at that people are
going to throw out perfectly
good movies that he's watched again we think people are going to want to build
their own video libraries
but if they decide they don't want them we have disc recycling bins set up
where actually we think
because you can watch them again people are going to want to give them away
trade them even sell them
a garage save this audio doesn't circuit city own divix yes circuit city owns a
majority interest in
divix in fact they helped develop the technology that's now licensed to the
companies that built the
place yeah but what if circuit city goes out of business are you that's like us
oil gonna come on
this guy's so tough just 30 off everything it's gold disc i've heard about divix
gold movies are
purchased ready for unlimited play as opposed to converting a disc to unlimited
play now divix gold
discs will only be produced if the studios desire them so when will the new divix
movies come out
movies on divix will almost always be available on the same day they're
released for vhs rental if
divix knows everything i watch and win isn't that kind of like big brother yes
divix knows what divix
movies you're watching because it's part of the billing process so does your
local video store
divix strictly adheres to the national video privacy act which forbids dissemination
of viewer information
without permission which i've just made up now on the spot look at that stare
i like that these get more and more hostile these are confrontations i don't
want your thing i don't
want this i don't want it god you asked me a question how do i see what divix
is charging me
well first you have to authorize all transactions right and then the player
shows you exactly how
much a subsequent viewing or an upgrade to unlimited play cost and you can
review your account at any
time to see your transactions the last three months okay oh my god so much
homework i don't want this
thing welcome to office hours after hours you are the exclusive members of a
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