Name: Christian Nightmares, Amina Khan on Office Hours Live (Ep 168 8/12/2021)
Uploaded: 2021-08-12T19:23:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Christian Nightmares, Amina Khan on Office Hours Live (Ep 168 8/12/2021)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Christian Nightmares, Amina Khan on Office Hours Live (Ep 168 8/12/2021)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-12. Transcript available.

Christian Nightmares, Amina Khan on Office Hours Live (Ep 168 8/12/2021)

I like having fun. I like to laugh. I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
I like having fun. Yes, I like to laugh. I like having fun to meet people who
laugh.
Good morning, everybody. It's Office Hours Live. Tim Heidecker here coming to
you from Glendale, California. It is August 12th, 10 a.m. on the Pacific Coast
here. Noon out there in the Central Time Zone. We're talking Chicago, Kansas
City, Milwaukee, down all the way through Kansas and all those other counties,
states. Back on the East Coast, right? Grew up back in my hometown.
Allentown. It is Vic. What time is it back there in Allentown, Bethlehem? It
would be 1 p.m. Ladies and gentlemen, lunch hour is wrapping up for lots of
folks down there working at the Bethlehem Steel Mill. Finish up your proteins.
Swallow down those tube steaks. Throw away your A-treat cans. Crush them. And
finish up your pretzels.
because it's time to get back to that afternoon ship we need steel and we need
it now how do you like that Doug okay that's bad is dead again oh good you're
doing all these cool tricks of course Doug representing the old central time
zone we are back ladies and gentlemen live going out to the public anybody
wherever you are on camera with continent you're on right now unless
you're in certain areas that restrict YouTube in general there are certain
countries I assume Taliban is not exactly broadcasting all the YouTube channels
live what's your favorite time zone what's my favorite time zone yeah gotta
go with Greenwich that's the it's the og yeah that's the real deal where's
Greenwich yeah I don't know what is that where's Greenwich New York City
Connecticut
dope it's called the Greenwich time zone Greenwich mean time it's that's in
England that's up there on the Thames River you get up there in the Thames
River we get a lot of British people watching right now it's nighttime for
them by the way and people want to know what time it is that's why people tune
into the show woke up they don't know their clocks they threw their clocks out
their windows we have a terrific show for you today we're glad to be back we're
rested warm there's a clock going out the window I know it's a little late okay
that's so what happened there if we want to chart that progress that'll
evolution when
John Lennon woke up and then he goes oh look what else I have in that pile of
drops
know when it's unrelated when John Lennon woke up and he woke up late because
his digital
clock was off he went I think one of the greatest things ever made besides my
own work outside of
my own work the great Peter Serafinowicz if you're familiar with him Vic did
you ever hear his long and rambling version of the bridge from day in the life
I don't believe so really he goes well
he's a little clock was off he went I think one of the greatest things ever
made besides my own work outside of my own work the great Peter Serafinowicz if
you're familiar with him Vic did you ever hear his long and rambling
version of the bridge from day in the life
I don't believe so
besides my own work outside of my own work the great Peter Serafinowicz if you're
familiar with him Vic did you ever hear his long and rambling version of the
bridge from day in the life I don't believe so really he goes woke up got out
of bed
and then but then he keeps the story going for like a 20 20 minutes like hot
lunch picked up my sack like let's see if you could find it that's great it's a
it's such a treasure it goes you can't believe for how long it goes
had a meeting God my like just like called my wife said I was gonna be late
just like it doesn't stop it's 20 I think it's good if you can give me a time
on that
too that'd be great man um welcome to the show we have a different format today
slightly different shouldn't be uh that unusual to our patrons or it will be a
little different I guess this has been a fucking nightmare to figure out what
are we doing what is this show why are we doing this show what is the point
what is the point Vic
audience it's they laugh and have fun basically it's they laugh is that fun is
to learn comes down is to have a community is to set up a safe
place for people that are a little different it's a safe space a little unusual
they like music they like uh funny stuff they love cartoons and they can join
this community and be part of it and so we and and it's not a popular show it's
not something that it's not no Joe Rogan uh disinformation campaign uh funded
by the CIA you know Joe Rogan shows funded by the CIA right straight white men
are not allowed to talk about it
that's true it's true it's not this the tonight show with James Fallon James
Fallon
James Fallon
so we funded ourselves through the magic of patreon which is not a great site
for us it's not an ideal site but it is what it is it is what we got right we're
not funding it like Joe Rogan on the backs of millions and millions of
musicians that Spotify who get paid nothing but coke brothers aren't funding
the show as they are with the Joe Rogan show
you can never you can never I didn't know that the Koch brothers are behind
that absolutely or the Russians or who knows who we don't know wow he is a
psych op that's what you would call him absolutely
makes a bunch of very funny uh internet videos so as you know we use the patron
model which a lot
of people do chapel trap house does it they've all done it for years and they're
making lots of money
talking about how everybody should have everybody's a piece of that's their
model
making fun of everybody no heart no humanity they call them the dirt bag left i'm
a fan
this could be a new voice for me just a guy that's down here and the show is
kind of slows down a
little bit because uh i'm putting my thoughts together but what we did was
doing that am radio
pause i do love that pause like 10 07 on the hour
10 07 on the hour we got uh dodgers highlights coming up at 10 30. we're going
to be talking with
christian nightmares later
give me some yeah give me a little bed traffic and weather coming up at 10 15
there yeah so we experimented with an idea this isn't this isn't i know the
music ain't right
ladies and gentlemen if you go down to star ford right now you'll be able to
get a
star for two for one car you'll be able to get one car get the other car free
that's right ladies and
gentlemen it's never been done before a two-for-one offer at star ford right
now get a taurus and throw
in an escapade or a uh an escapade an escape the ford escape absolutely free no
strings attached
these new escapades these new escapes ford escapes are beautiful cars they have
air conditioning they
have a cd player they have everything you need four-wheel drive and they're
great on gas mileage ladies and
gentlemen what we're doing is we tried doing like well we'll do some shows
behind the paywall
that was okay but then it was like well we kind of like being live in the
public so that weirdos might
call in or we get a bigger audience calling in uh and so we're now we're just
going to do a whole show
live public we're going to take a break after about an hour go take a we're
all going to go take shits i told doug don't in the morning i need you to at
the break but it is
limited you said five minutes strict we have a five minute quick break we got
to drop quick
that's why we're pounding down this three stogies coffee
get it ready so we're shitting quick we're back can stay live stay public then
what we're going to do
is a little devious what goes what then what lives online is the first hour for
the for the uh general
cheapskates out there who just expect everything for free even though you're
watching commercials
non-stop your brain's getting damaged with we won we won we won burbank firm in
your brain
right but if you pay for your and you support the show you watch the whole damn
thing whenever you want
plus you get big news dropping today on the patreon patreon.com office hours
live is episode two of the
compound is back ladies and gentlemen the compound directed written by dj doug
pound starring tim heidecker
is here and vic people love the joel hole people are into it people want to
know when episode three
is coming i want to know when episode three is coming so it'll be out soon it'll
be out it'll be out
this year it'll be out well this year i think it'll be out by the end of by
certainly by the end of
september i would hope uh yeah yeah probably work on it what are you shaggy
from what are you shaggy now
oh scoop oh no a little hold out from uh from the joel well you left on such a
cliffhanger because
there we were getting right into it right into prime joel he's about to hit his
creative
peak yeah he's got this you know he's got this on the edge of my piano
waiting for this new one to come out matt is back from uh cabo that's right and
he brought us these
visors as gifts is my mic on check can you hear me i hope not uh i since you
couldn't make it my
family assumed your family's identity and took your trip to mexico well we have
to get into that of
course the big news people magazine reported on it did you see that people
people.com posted a
google story about my daughter testing positive for the china viruses trump donald
trump donald john
trump former ex-bird brain president said referred to it as demented old withered
uh dick
yes the the story is last week by the way let's just let's let's applaud office
hours for a second here
because the month of july was a banner banner month for office hours if you're
if you're if you haven't
gone back if you're new to the show we had kurt vile sitting right here we had
randy the god randy
newman kennedy center honoree academy award winner who's that voice academy
award winner that's
the dude from that that movie hey man hey why don't you let me lebausky chong
big lebausy oh okay
chong that goes chong she's a wheeze who else matt we had still my favorite
that's the best
so many so we had randy newman well we had lizzie kate man lizzie cooperman we
had greg night greg
night which was now it's going to be called greg night because it was such a
tour de force from
greg turkington and simone turkington this by the way this three stogies coffee
i have to tell you
you can tell folks it is it's giving me a kick in the pants sit back and relax
enjoy yourself a cup
of three stuja's coffee and enjoy the show i also did cocaine for the first
time this morning
oh nice this morning i guess they snorted is that what you did i did that about
an hour ago
it's really opening my mind to a lot of ideas what's the difference between snorting
and free
basing people talk about free basing well we'll get some uh we'll get somebody
on to talk about daddy
we'll get uh donald trump jr on to talk about that or hey you know what i'll
play both sides here
hunter biden there you go degenerate hunter biden the artist hey man well the
artist oh he's a painter
he's a painter he's a painter why don't you get mike pillow because he was
known for that right by the
way we wanted to we wanted to pop in on the symposium the cyber symposium but
we can't find
the link is it all is it done have they wrapped things up is it called frank
speech because they're
trying to say let's like let's be frank yeah it was it's pretty unclear i guess
he left the stage when
his dominion lawsuit coming here is it live came in no this left the stage oh
because the dominion
lawsuit got they're like go you got the green light to run them run the lawsuit
right all the you know
they cover this stuff and then they don't link you to it but i want to see the
thing
you know what i mean i like that he was he was blaming um hackers for jump for
changing his
teleprompter so he couldn't pronounce bolsonero properly that's the thing folks
they've gotten
into my teleprompters eduardo coming here if i say it right per person i said
personaro
bolsonaro bolsonar you jump in i watched every time i i did click in every
couple i don't know like a
couple times a day because i had a link but he's got like k