Name: Whitmer Thomas, Drew Magary, Sopranos Puns on Office Hours Live (Ep 177 10/7/2021)
Uploaded: 2021-10-07T19:11:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Whitmer Thomas, Drew Magary, Sopranos Puns on Office Hours Live (Ep 177 10/7/2021)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Whitmer Thomas, Drew Magary, Sopranos Puns on Office Hours Live (Ep 177 10/7/2021)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-07. Transcript available.

Whitmer Thomas, Drew Magary, Sopranos Puns on Office Hours Live (Ep 177 10/7/2021)

I like having fun. I like to laugh. I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
I like having fun. Yes, I like to laugh. I like having fun to meet people who
can make me laugh.
Holy Father, welcome. Holy Father, welcome. What? What? Wait a minute. Holy
Father. Holy Father, today. Holy Father, this morning, we come to you on bended
knee and ask for you to look over us.
And watch us throughout the morning, making sure we are safe and sound and our
energy levels are up so that we can deliver to our audience, to the wonderful
Office Hours community and Patreons as well, paying members of the community,
welcoming them and also wishing them a great Thursday.
What else?
This is my impression of a guy in a public bathroom. Maybe it's a large public
bathroom. And here he is letting... It's a crowded public bathroom, ladies and
gentlemen. Keep in mind. And there is a bit of a line developing.
B-Rod out. Just taking a shit.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show. We like to have fun. We like to
laugh. I want to welcome my sidekick.
That me?
My sidekick here is... Goes by the name of DJ Doug Pound. My number one sidekick.
Did not...
What's that?
Sounds like a lot of work.
How are you doing this morning, Doug?
Good morning, T.
Vic couldn't be here. Oh, wait. He is here, Vic.
My other sidekick over my left. Sort of like the devil and the angel over here.
You think?
Good and the bad. Vic, you're the good guy.
You're a good guy.
I'm trying to be nicer in these days.
I'm not a bad guy.
I don't know. If Doug's going to be the bad guy, I've got to be the nice guy.
I want to welcome you. I want to welcome producer Matt.
And...
Thank you.
Very special guest is here with us in studio.
We'd like to debut the new, very new, fresh coat of paint, redesigned guest
zone.
Ladies and gentlemen, Whitmer Thomas is breaking us in.
Good morning, everybody.
Breaking it in.
Thanks for having me. Happy to be the one.
It's a true honor.
We are going to make sure that all guests are color-coded with the wall.
And so you're starting that tradition now.
I was trying to think of something to wear that I wouldn't regret later.
And I regret it.
You do?
Yeah.
What do you have underneath?
Is it a plain white or is it a...
It's a...
No, it's...
...ironic tea of some kind?
Yeah.
I knew it would be.
Oh, copyright violation.
Copyright violation.
We're going to get dinged.
Wow.
It's pretty funny.
It's a funny one.
Let's see what it is.
Every day...
Sorry.
Every day of my life, I'm forced to add another...
I'm sorry, I'm not a great reader.
To add another name to the list of people who piss me off.
That is so true.
Every day somebody gets added to my shit list.
Oh, yeah.
Should I take the hat off?
I forgot I was wearing it.
My hair is a nightmare right now.
I was going to say, I was watching you on stage a couple nights ago and I was
saying that you have dream hair.
No, well, it's too dreamy.
He does have dream hair.
No, you have the ideal hair.
Why would I want to look like this, like I'm in, what's that band, the grunge
band?
Incubus.
No, come on.
They're not grunge.
Bush?
No!
Silver chair?
Local H.
Alice in Chains.
No, you got the ideal.
Lane Staley.
That's the ideal hair.
This is the shit hair.
Jerry Cantrell.
So, I look awful.
Well, maybe, I mean, if you stop doing that, you won't look like that.
You look like a TikToker.
Like a hot TikToker.
It's just something I would say.
Like I could do, do I have a comb?
I could do this.
That's cool.
Hi.
That's Connor Obers.
I know.
Okay, Connor Obers.
That's what I'm going for now.
Hey, everybody.
What's his deal?
That's not what he sounds like.
Hi, everybody.
I got me.
Sticks his tongue out.
Hey, hey.
My band's name is Brother.
Hey, babe.
I like music.
I like rock music.
What does he sound like?
You're friends with him?
No, I mean, I don't know him.
I'm a big fan.
He sounds kind of like just a little guy singing with a little acoustic guitar.
What kind of music?
I don't even know.
A folk kind of singer-songwriter.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
Another one of them.
Hey, here I am.
Doug comes in this morning.
I'll tell you something big.
Oh, geez.
Now what?
No, this is nice.
Nothing but compliments today.
Doug comes in and goes, hey, T, what do you think about them dire straights?
I go, I'm making sure I'm not walking into a booby trap here, A, a pun, or B,
he's going to say,
how can you like them?
They're awful.
But he goes, these guys are the greatest.
More or less.
I don't know if I said that.
No, but you're like, what, did you listen to some podcast on them or something?
I've just been learning about them on a podcast.
Doug goes to dire straits university.
He's getting his degree in dire straits.
There's a good guitar solo in this one.
And what happened then is I was in a bad mood.
I'll tell you, there's a lot of reasons why.
I straightened you out.
And suddenly Doug brings in this ray of light and he reminds me quickly how
much I love dire
straits.
Oh, yeah.
Love Romeo and Juliet.
And Vic steps in a pile of shit when he tells me this, that he doesn't even, he's
never
even heard so far away from you or me.
Did you know that one?
Nope.
See, I'm not the only way.
Matt, did you know that one?
Of course.
It was a huge hit.
I walked in and this place was just silence and no hi, you know, no one said hi
to me.
And it was, I was like, oh, great.
Yeah, everyone was staring at this wall.
I'm sitting over here thinking, what can I say to bring Tim back to life?
Knopfler came to mind.
The situation was, and you appreciate this, because you're a guy that gets shit
done.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's what might have been number one thing people say.
Don't, we're going to get, are you kidding me?
You don't think they're dinging?
They're dinging this shit.
I need this.
So, yeah, I don't want this to get pulled down.
No.
Guys.
I'm sorry.
We did the, we painted the wall last week.
I didn't paint the wall.
Somebody painted the wall.
Matt didn't paint the wall, I'll tell you that much.
Thank you.
And it's all right.
Well, good.
Wall's painted.
It looks nice.
Now we've got to set this, the rest of it up.
We've got to do some set design work here.
All right.
I say, come on in anytime.
All week.
You, Matt and Wes, got it ready?
Don't worry.
We'll get it done.
We'll get it done.
It gives me one of those lines.
Don't worry about it, T.
And then it comes down to, we'll come in early.
I hate, when people say we're going to come in early and do something, you're
not coming
in early.
Trust me.
I wasn't 10 minutes early.
And, yeah.
So, 8.30 comes around, nobody's here.
8.40, so they sort of saunter in.
Yeah, we've got to do this.
So, Tim, are you just sitting here in the dark?
It's not automatic.
This takes a lot of, this stupid shit takes a lot of work.
Oh, my God.
Tim, were you just sitting here by yourself, like, at 8 o'clock, like, they're
not here
yet, like, every minute that ticks by, the boiling kettle just.
And I can't, there's a couch in here.
I would do it myself, but it's a two-man job.
So, energy levels, anger was, anger was high, energy low.
Doug comes in, thank God, by the grace of God, comes in and improves my mood,
thanks
to Mark Knopfler, and whoever else is in that band, we don't know.
Talk about a band that doesn't have any other members anyone cares about.
No, controversial lyrics every now and then.
In what way?
In what way?
They say some controversial lyrics.
Like what?
He dropped the F word in the Money for Nothing song.
Easy now, everybody.
He says, and I quote that little.
Give the guest the lame.
I'll let me do it.
He has a thought.
Wait, sing the song.
Let's hear it.
There's that little guy wearing makeup.
He has his own jet engine.
He's a millionaire, something like that.
His own jet engine.
Oh, he says the F word?
They're saying it, though, from the perspective.
It's about people making fun of Prince.
It's like the Randy Newman thing.
I love that.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm down.
Now, I've heard something about Prince.
Small.
He's small.
He's like purple.
Yeah.
Who was it that?
Oh, it was Sinead O'Connor has said on the record, I think, in her book that he
was very inappropriate with her.
He, like, more than that, it was more like a, it was like a hostage, it was
like a kidnapping situation with her.
More like fingerprints.
Oh.
Jesus Christ.
You know what?
That's it.
That's it.
I'm done with him.
He went from, he went on my good side to me.
I don't know.
Don't fire me.
Talking about Dire Straits again.
I don't know.
We love it all.
I'm going to look at the chat to see how the fingerprints joke worked.
You ever think about going by Thomas Whitmer?
I think that's not a bad idea.
I tried to change my name, to be honest.
Really?
A year and a half ago.
I did.
Professionally.
What for?
Because I don't like Whitmer.
It's confusing.
Everybody thinks it's my last name.
And I wanted to just be Whit professionally.
Well, you can just call yourself Whit.
Yeah, but I was like, I want it Whit on IMDb.
Whit.
And they said, nah, you can't do that.
You ever get a little whistle in there, though?
You say, Whit.
Whit.
No, I delivered groceries forever and people would go.
Forever?
Yeah, for a long time.
People would go, what's your name?
And I'd say, my name's Whit.
And they'd go, what are you, a comedian?
Really?
Oh, you're witty.
I'd tell them, yeah, come to UCB.
Guess what?
I am.
How'd you get started in doing comedy?
That's the way I begin my interviews with the comics.
Thanks, man.
How'd you get into the business?
And then we'll get to everything else.
We'll get this over with.
The short answer is me and my buddies were in a band.
And then nobody liked us.
We talked too much.
We were annoying.
Yeah.
What was the band called?
We were called Tooks.
Bad band name.
Nobody knew how to pronounce it.
Took us?
Yeah, kind of like that.
Took us.
Isn't that cute?
Isn't that nice?
Talked too much, annoying.
And then we just sort of stopped doing music and started just talking.
And then we became a sort of a sketch troupe.
Down in Birmingham?
No, this is in L.A.
We had moved to L.A. to get into showbiz.
As a band.
Well, we're like, let's make movies and stuff.
But then we just started playing music.
What happened to those other clowns?
They're doing in Alabama.
They're still doing stuff with me.
Oh, good.
One of them is Will Arnett.
Yeah, Will Arnett.
Yeah, yeah.
Who else?
They're friendly with them?
My buddies Clay, Tatum, Bud Diaz, Rodney Berry.
Clay directed your stand-up special.
Yeah, which was very good.
Oh, thanks, pal.
It was very emotional.
Yeah, yeah.
You know.
It's a lot.
I was watching it being like, I should do something like that.
But I don't have that story.
Just make it up.
None of it's true.
It didn't ring true.
It's not true.
My mom's doing great.
Yeah.
The golden.
Golden one.
Should have been the golden boy.
Not to be confused with The Golden Child, a film starring Eddie Murphy that I
watched probably
every day for a while when I was 12.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That was a good one.
Always on TV.
Always on the HBO.
Listen, let's talk about today's show.
We are going to try to introduce Sopranos puns today, if anybody's interested
in that, because
we're still in the wake of the many saints of Newark.
Everyone wants to say New York, but it's Newark.
I was, Doug.
Bad title for a movie, with all due respect.
All due respect.
Just call it Sopranos movie number one.
You know what I mean?
How about Sopranos movie, one of many?
Or like Sopranos Wars.
Little Sopranos.
You know, kind of like Star Wars.
Little Soprano.
Rise of the Sopranos.
I mean, there is going to be another one, right?
Rise of the Sopranos.
Is there going to be a second one?
Who knows?
Because, like, I mean, I don't want to get the ending.
I wouldn't mind them taking another whack at the bat with that idea, you know?
No funny tangent.
They're going to do a remake.
Now, listen.
What do you know?
The stock market's insane right now.
It's going up.
It's going down.
You know what Tony said to his consigliere about this?
When he saw what was going on in