Name: Andre Hyland, Pachyman on Office Hours Live (Ep 178 10/21/2021)
Uploaded: 2021-10-21T19:29:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andre Hyland, Pachyman on Office Hours Live (Ep 178 10/21/2021)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andre Hyland, Pachyman on Office Hours Live (Ep 178 10/21/2021)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-21. Transcript available.

Andre Hyland, Pachyman on Office Hours Live (Ep 178 10/21/2021)

I like having fun, I like to laugh, I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
Come on!
I like having fun, yes I like to laugh, I like having fun to meet people who
can laugh.
Yes, maybe my shopping list.
Good morning everybody, it's Tim Heidecker here.
Thursday, October 21st, the year.
Some people watching this in the future, the year is 2021.
Who thought we'd get to 2021, right?
Whoa, Doctor, we've got a full house here today, I've got DJ Doug Pound over my
right shoulder, my little devil.
Hey, watch that.
O-E-O-N, the one and only internet sensation started on Vine!
That's true.
Discovered by me!
I mean nobody gave a shit about you.
Right.
You're lost, living in Disneyland, like Joseph and Mary.
Now look at me.
Victor Berger IV, VB4, famous for his face holes.
Face holes, that's all anybody knows about me these days.
And his award, soon to be award winning series for Vice.
That's right, the new episode is coming out on the 30th of October and it's
going to be a doozy.
Hallow's Eve, or Halloween Eve.
Half an hour, oh it's amazing.
The devil's in the details.
So happy with it.
Devil's in the details.
And producer Matt, running, keeping this show chugging along.
Howdy.
Tyler!
Let's get to the root of the matter here.
We've got a wonderful, wonderful musical act coming up later in the show, Pockymon.
New to me, but I got a taste of Pockymon during our little sound check this
morning and the
good stuff is coming your way, gang.
Matt's a really, really nice guy.
Bam!
Bam!
Now, I will acknowledge we were off last week.
The boys have collected a number of drops.
I'm sure their fingers are itchy.
We're going to have a very annoying show.
Oh, we're just getting started.
That's right.
Okay.
And I'm going to try to go with it.
I'm going to try to fuse with the energy of the drops.
I'm not going to fight it.
I'm going to let it, I'm going to let it pass through me.
Thank you very much.
I mean, there's something to that.
I mean, you know, you know.
Also here, Andre Hyland, whoever that is.
That's right.
A drifter, I passed you on the way.
I picked you up.
You're on the side of the highway.
I appreciate it.
And we're going to let you warm up inside for a little bit.
Absolutely.
Happy to have you here.
Listen, we all know you.
We all love you.
Absolutely.
I appreciate the ride.
And I think you enjoyed the handy and I think we're in good shape.
Easy.
Now, listen, let's get to some business.
There is some business to discuss.
We like Dick, yes.
Come on, guys.
Multiple orgasms.
Multiple orgasms.
This is a progressive show.
Can't take any protests outside my home.
Not that we broadcast from my home.
This is a studio in Hollywood, as you know.
Thursday.
I'm out of my penis.
Can I just do some business now for a second?
Doug.
Hands up.
Vic.
Hands up.
Hands up.
Head down.
Head down.
Thursday, December 16th.
My hands.
I didn't touch with my hands.
How did you do it?
I did my forehand.
Thursday, December 16th.
My hands.
My hands.
My hands.
I didn't touch with my hands.
How did you do it?
I did my forehand.
Thursday, December 16th.
Hey.
My hands.
My hands.
How did you do it?
I did my forehand.
Thursday, December 16th.
Thursday, December 16th.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're doing the annual Office Hours Live Totally Secular
Non-Denominational
Holiday Special Live at the Regent Theater in Los Angeles.
It's true.
We had such a huge hit with our Dynasty Typewriter Show.
We'd love to go back there and do the show there again, but they can't hold us.
Their theater is simply too small for the office hours experience.
So, we're getting bigger.
The Regency Theater where a very famous stand-up special was taped.
Doug, any guesses on that?
D'Elia?
D'Elia?
No.
The Regent.
Bill Cosby himself?
Josh Gad, one man show.
No.
Cool.
Cool.
Cool.
Cool.
The Tim Heide, an evening with Tim Heidecker.
Oh, you do not laugh, man.
That's the one Howard Stern really liked.
It's the Regent.
What did I say?
The Regency?
Yeah, the Regent.
The Regent.
Downtown.
Tim.
What does Regent mean?
What does it mean?
What does the word Regent mean?
What is it?
Some sort of fancy thing?
I mean, sure.
Truly.
Like an adjacent to Regal or something?
Is it regional?
Is it a derivative of regional?
Regent.
The Regent Theater?
What does Regent mean?
I don't know.
I'm looking it up, Tim.
You know, in the King's Court.
A person appointed to administer a country because of their monarch is a minor.
Oh, it's a minor.
It's a minor.
A minor.
A minor.
If the monarch is a minor, they get the Regent in there.
It sounds like some Pizzagate shit.
Listen, it's going to be a blast.
It's going to be a bash.
We're going to do it live.
We're going to have many guests, as you can imagine.
Everyone's going to come out.
It's going to be...
I'm doing a good sell on this, aren't I?
Everyone's going to come out.
Come out.
We will be raising money.
The show will be benefiting CELA.
That's speaking something that you'll appreciate.
It's the neighborhood homeless coalition.
So this is to benefit the homeless.
Why are you looking at me?
There's something about your vibe today.
And there's no judgment about it.
Can I tell you a story about the Regent real quick?
Go ahead.
Last time I was there was a while ago, but me and my friend, she was going to
go.
What is that smell?
We were like totally smelled someone farted, you know?
Yeah.
At the show?
At the show.
At the show.
We're like watching the show.
And like, damn.
And like, and then all of a sudden we kind of look around and there's this
older dude.
He was probably in his 60s or something.
He looks at it.
He goes, yeah, I just farted.
So beware.
I'm like, oh, there it is.
It happens.
So the Regent's an honest place.
Doug, you know what's one of the greatest stories ever told?
I put this up there with all the greats.
The one with the wolves and the little red, little red riding hood.
I mean, I'm talking, these are great stories.
This is a great story.
And I think it's from a friend of yours, Doug.
I can't remember what his name is.
You'll know.
You'll be able to fill this in.
It's a movie theater story.
Yeah.
Guys, it's, I'll paint the story for you.
This is 10 years ago, more, 20 years ago.
He is in a movie theater in the winter time.
So there's coats everywhere.
In Chicago.
In Chicago.
Coats, probably on the floor.
Sometimes you go to there, you get the big winter coat.
You roll it up, put it on the floor.
Yeah.
Friend of Doug's.
Let's say his name is Joe.
I can't remember.
Doug knows.
It's Dave.
It's Dave.
I like this third-hand version of it, though.
Dave, go.
Wait, real quick.
You put your jacket on the floor at a theater?
No, no, no, no.
This is somebody else.
Okay, all right.
This is a friend of Doug's.
I mean, maybe not on the floor.
Maybe some of the sleeves are hanging on.
Who knows?
I mean, this is painting the picture.
Yeah.
You'll be disappointed by this story because I'm setting it up too much.
But I just love it.
And Dave gets a big old Coke.
Big Coke.
The biggest size.
20-ouncers, whatever.
He puts it down and it falls.
It spills, right?
And it's one of those theaters with the descending, you know, balcony seating
kind of thing.
Yeah.
What's that called?
Stadium seating.
Yeah.
And he goes, "Coke's coming!"
"Coke's coming!"
"Coke's coming!"
"Coke's coming!"
"Coke's coming!"
"Coke's coming!"
"Coke's coming!"
Like a flood, you know?
Anyways, that's coming again one more time, December 16th.
And tickets are now on sale at officialofficehours.com, correct?
Yes, sir.
That's correct.
There's a link in the description.
If you were a Patreon, you'd have known this already.
And you'd have gotten your tickets already.
I loved it.
We had so much fun at the last live show and people loved it, so it's going to
be more of
the same.
Maybe better.
I'm thinking about writing a play to be performed at the theater.
And we're in it?
You're in it.
Or different actors?
It's called Scrooge 2.
My thinking is, and I might really want to do this, so I hate giving this away.
Still stingy?
How are you going to be still stingy?
How about Scrooge-ier?
Scrooge-ier.
So Scrooge, right?
My thinking on this is always that, okay, Scrooge has this epiphany because he
gets visited
by these ghosts.
Yeah, the three ghosts.
The three past, present, future.
They say, "You've got to clean up your act, man.
You're a piece of shit.
You're a bad guy.
If you keep going this way, you're going to go to hell," is what they're
telling him.
So Scrooge cleans up his act.
He gives everything away on Christmas Day.
It's a big hooray.
What do you think happens the rest of that year?
I think he slides back into his old ways.
Right.
Right?
Yeah.
You don't think he's a changed man.
He falls off the wagon.
Totally!
He sees that balance sheet getting slimmer and slimmer.
He goes, "I've got to start kicking ass around here again."
What do you think in the William Murray version, do you think he just went back
to being an evil television executive after the end of the movie?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, sure.
I mean, that's an analog.
It's basically a parallel to the original script from Dickens.
Sure.
So, of course, you'd apply that.
Scrooged was the name of that movie.
Scrooged, right?
Paul Schaefer was in it.
He had a nice little cameo.
Of course.
I think that's what everybody watched it for.
I don't remember that.
But I remember Buddy Hackett was in that movie.
Buddy Hackett played Scrooge.
Oh, yeah.
In the TV version.
In the TV version.
In the movie.
Yeah, that they were making on TV.
Yeah, yeah.
So, today, Andre Highland is one of the great punmeisters, I believe.
And we have some tickets to give away to Desert Days.
Featuring myself, Wise Blood, War on Drugs, you name it, Matt.
Pachiman.
Pachiman, who's here today, is going to be performing.
Pachiman.
I went a couple years ago.
It was fun.
I saw Iggy Popular perform.
And that was it.
I only went for one.
I went for a desert day.
I didn't go over the whole thing.
There are single tickets available if you want to skip Pachiman and just see me.
That's an option.
So, we're going to pick somebody from the Zoom community to challenge us with a
pun category.
Now, what are the guidelines for the categories, Andre?
I would like someone just to read the dictionary definition of a pun.
Because last time we did it, I was here, some people were giving me grief
because I was mixing in puns into jokes.
He's just telling jokes.
It's like, well, there was still wordplay in those jokes.
I'm giving you double doses here.
And I was getting dinged for it online.
Doug's got dictionary.com up, we know, because he's already on the Regent kick.
A joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that
there are words which sound alike but have different meanings.
Yeah, it could be a word or phrase.
So that cleared it up.
I wasn't listening.
I think you're right though.
I think any kind of wordplay will work.
Because I had a few of those too and people were like, what?
Yeah.
Let's welcome the community, the wonderful, I think one of the healthier fan
communities out there right now.
If you look at the global macro, if you're looking at a macro community.
Sure.
A macro view of communities.
You've got, I think the On Cinema community is terrific, by the way.
New episodes streaming on highnetwork.tv.
Check that out.
Office hours communities full of great people.
I get to, I interact with them.
I get it.
I get it.
These are not toxic people.
These aren't people that are out there causing trouble in anyone's lives.
They're healthy people.
So let's talk to one of them and see if I'm right.
Matt.
Sure thing.
We haven't talked to Cowboy Nat in a while.
Cowboy Nat, you got something today?
If you would have told me we've never talked to Cowboy Nat, I'd have believed
you.
Well, I remember these things.
I don't keep these things in my head.
It's my job.
Cowboy.
Oh, Tim.
We talked.
I told you about my grandma who liked your special.
Way back.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
That's fine.
Quick note for the boys in the control room.
I'm not seein