Name: Alan Resnick, Sara Aniano, Kmart Dance Contest (Ep 190 1/19/2022)
Uploaded: 2022-01-19T20:08:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Alan Resnick, Sara Aniano, Kmart Dance Contest (Ep 190 1/19/2022)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Alan Resnick, Sara Aniano, Kmart Dance Contest (Ep 190 1/19/2022)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-19. Transcript available.

Alan Resnick, Sara Aniano, Kmart Dance Contest (Ep 190 1/19/2022)

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what i'm getting attacked by the guy attack i have the facts the cold hard fact
yeah he had a pa system
that's why they hired me is that right yes in the early days where is where is
the van halen
biopic and who's playing all the parts that's the topic would you ever buy a
base that's shaped like
a jack daniels body that's what what beverage would your base look like tim if
you had
welcome to the show if you must be confused you must think well the show must
have been going on
for hours and they are still going but no the show has begun welcome to office
hours live
the only premium podcast currently uh on the apple podcasts
they've stripped all the other podcasts of their uh gone they've been ripped
taken down
uh anyway anyway let me get my bearings here and introduce uh the holy trinity
quickly
doug lucenhop and vic berger oh yeah producer matt is here we have a special in
studio guest i'm going
to kick it over to him right now he's going to take over the remainder of the
show mr alan red
alan resnick resnick resnick how are you this morning i'm great i'm just happy
to be here i just
why are you here why am i here i i asked i i you asked me to come i'm just
happy to be here i feel
like i just want to be a fly on the wall i'm not no you have to not be a fly on
the wall you have to
contribute with ideas jokes characters there'll be a fly on the wall i
requested a character i was denied
i didn't know you requested a character i said maybe alan could come in what's
he i said to matt my
producer who i expect to be doing this kind of work this kind of thinking ahead
of me but i'm there
first always i say what's alan gonna do he goes i don't know he don't know no
no one told me anything
i well i said well can he come in and do a character and and the response i got
was nah if you if you want
me to try something okay i could be like a silly god what a butler a butler a
butler interesting it'd be
interesting to have a butler you could fill our coffees for us yeah all right
that works hey how about this
idea a uh a butler in the in this new gig economy okay you got that yeah you
want me to try it yeah
okay so this is a new service i'm going to be a butler in the gig economy
ladies and gentlemen a
butler in the gig economy when i turn around the interesting little interesting
concept i will no
longer be alan resnick i will be a butler in the gig okay a butler in the gig
economy interesting
my guest today is alan who is a i guess the term is a butler in the gig economy
yeah a butler in the
gig economy and my name is it's not alan no the characters have different names
the character would
be jeeves jeeves yeah okay that's a little on the nose but let's go with it who
cares okay so oh butler
in the gig economy okay interesting a butler in the gig economy all right so uh
jeeves uh how long have
you been a butler in the giga you use an app i use an app i get it now okay i'll
just go to butler my
butler dot jeeves dot jeeves my butler dot jeeves and i am requesting a butler
for the day for the
afternoon okay and request sent okay and this is how the butler talk i'm here
oh okay i got the
request and a coffee i'm not good at characters i don't do characters that's
why i said i don't want to
do a character i got the request for for a butler and um a car sounds like mickey
mouse okay i didn't
want to do a character in the gig economy butler and that'd be interesting
theory a butler in the
gig economy all right uh let's let's keep workshopping stuff okay well i just
kind of bailed on that because
the voice was a little the voice was wrong yeah yeah i can't do british accent
and i don't want to do
characters okay that's right i said anyway last time i did i did i was on i did
i was in my bath
yeah yeah and i had the i could hide behind the bubbles but now i'm here in
person and i can't
i don't want to be funny you feel naked now that you're not in the battle yeah
i don't like when
people can see me all right well let's let's welcome our zoom community they're
one of the the
the tenants the one of the uh foundational elements of the show from the
beginning almost i mean we had
skype of course we had all sorts of different technologies connecting us to the
world out there but
zoom has been the preferred technology of choice uh of late since the uh food
fans
voice of course i do a lot of different voices yeah you're good you're like
that master of
yeah rich little of the office hours community you're like the jay leno of glendale
i would love to take a stab at that character at some point the bit the butler
you could have that
gig economy yeah i'm not going to do it again you rang that would be kind of a
what does a butler
get they like prepare they just answer the door they get the door yeah well let's
say you have a
party or you have some kind of event and you and you don't have a full-time butler
who can afford a
butler on a full you know a full-time but you have one right i don't have a butler
no i'm sorry that
everybody can't be as perfect as you uncle phil there's a butler there in uh
fresh prince of bel-air
he lives in i'm not talking about the fresh prince of bel-air oh no one brought
that up i was just
looking at my drops that's the only butler drop i have okay anyhow i would
think it would be a service
where you say i need a butler for the day somebody to assist me in various
activities and tasks
you know what you also had back in those days or the good old days you had a
butler but you also had
a valet and the valet would help you get dressed is that what i thought the valet
would just drive
you to the party with the butler that would be a driver okay so what a valet
clothes you uh that is
correct do they put the clothes on your body they would assist you you just
stand with the clothes on
bow ties what's a concierge a concierge that is somebody at a hotel who assists
you in finding
a restaurant but a valet at a hotel parks your car that's true so these are
this is a different
meaning of the same but you said it was a driver so that's how i got confused i
understand okay a
butler in the gig economy matt is there somebody on the uh zoom room that we
should we have to talk to
well we have a fun this is going to be a surprise for you joe larocca is going
to give us the news
right at the top of the very good uh this is a surprise and i love surprises
hello can you hear
me hello joe with the news yes joe we had last time we appreciated your tenor
your your timbre
i got some odd news for you good okay today portland pickles mascot suggestive
pick gets team in a real
pickle all right next one okay former manager of dod aerospace threatens space
program with ufos are real
these aren't going great here we go uh camel beauty contest rocked by botox
scandal camel beauty contest
like the camel cigarettes nope like the animal oh i see okay maryland
firefighters rescue suspected
home intruder stuck in chimney now this is that's funny i mean that's funny can
i hear it again it's
just a funny thing to happen maryland firefight maryland firefighters rescue
suspected home invader
you're stuck in chimney i mean what is this who does this guy think he is santa
claus
uh tie chains tie chains cannabis pizza is trendy but it won't get you high
all right thank you joe that's that's what's happening in the world thank you
that's it that's all of
it come on joe you got to be more confident you that killed i like that section
great yeah i loved it
i can see everybody in the audience how many people loved joe laraca's new news
segment you know why it
it's a it gets us talking it gets us turns us on to some weird stuff out there
oh rimshot
um vic how was your uh we had a holiday weekend of course uh we had a a lot of
people took monday to
observe the uh teachings of martin luther king did you review any speeches yeah
we talked we i talked
with the kids a bit about it um i took him up to uh to joshua tree over the
weekend which is the home
that's that's where he spent a lot of time yeah he's been like that yeah martin
luther king yeah they
do they know i mean joshua oh yeah yeah oh joshua tree is terrific yeah it's
amazing but it's like
stressful because like my kids are still have no fear so they're on the edge
and the ledge and they're
going up real high and i'm freaking the hell out and it's just very stressful
are they climbing the
trees oh no no because there's a little those are a little pointy do you just
climb the trees
the joshua tree yeah they're more like a big old protected you can't climb them
i can't chop them
down i find them you're not supposed to chop them down oh no no but it was yeah
it was a good time
and we just got like a little airbnb and spent like you know three days there
it was good it was good
doug yeah review your long weekend anything exciting happen um i i wish i had i
wish you
i wish i was prepared with something great here but i don't really have
anything we just sit around
stare at the wall i played some volleyball okay okay i went to the beach tim i
went to the beach now i
went to the beach as well i'll tell you my adventure we took the kids on monday
to uh venice beach doug did
you walk around with all the freaky people and stuff did they see that the kids
aren't supposed
to see that i i well so here was my plan you're not supposed to see they're not
supposed to see
that it was it was rainy and it was kind of overcast and a little cool on monday
so i i guess i can
admit or uh divulge this but um as many of you know a actor um collaborator of
mine named manuel from
uh decar on cinema okay manuel and axiom we love manuel we love them he runs a
and he runs i think
either manages owns has some very deep connection to this italian restaurant in
venice and he kept
saying you gotta come you gotta come come i'll take care of you and the family
bring the family for years
and he goes it's very good he's like and this is an italian guy he goes it's
good man
it's really good i go okay so we said we'll go down to venice beach we'll fart
around on the
beach for a little bit let the kids not go in the water so much because but you
know it's just kind
of played in the sand and then take a little stroll down venice beach boulevard
whatever that is
i'm going so we did that but you're right doug it was intense it was intense
there's some characters
out there with their little outfits on it strange strange people on stilts more
than that my friend
it is full on you know people wish they were around people that need to be on
the ground taken care of
by the state oh i see in a way they're not they're not they're not up high they're
on they're on their
feet they need stilts actually they need to be monitored by the you know by
professionals yeah
and there are there's there's people going to the bathroom you know in plain
sight and and you know
that's to a certain degree that's kind of what venice beach is all it's kind of
a bunch of weirdos and
artistic you know eccentric people out living life being surfing and being on
the beach selling their
cds and they spray paint making art yeah but then there's then it gets a little
uncomfortable a little
because people are kind of you know under the influence and they're a little
more aggressive
and my daughter was like it was it was kind of like like keeping your head down
just like getting through
it and my daughter was like this place is a little creepy it's a little creepy
and then there was so
much cigarette smoke around and and and she was like the smells were
overwhelming and they were just
like get me out of here but the good news is the restaurant it's called piccolo
piccolo like
absolutely delicious beyond belief matt you wouldn't believe this i've been
dying to go it is
fa