Name: Hamilton Morris (Ep 191 1/27/2022)
Uploaded: 2022-01-27T20:03:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Hamilton Morris (Ep 191 1/27/2022)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Hamilton Morris (Ep 191 1/27/2022)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-27. Transcript available.

Hamilton Morris (Ep 191 1/27/2022)

This is bullshit.
Nobody cares.
Good morning, friends.
This is bullshit.
Named the dopey diddly shit.
Bullshit.
Uh...
Yes.
Goddammit, dog.
Uh...
I'm like Lennon.
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh!
Oh we're dancing if we're done.
I don't really feel like dancing, you know?
Don't really feel like it.
But my job is to inspire and energize and something in me has to turn on.
Some part of me has to know that it's time to go!
And let's push up from the bottom of our little peonies and our vaginnies.
And let's put from our little tiny balls that us guys have.
And whatever women have that's analogous to balls.
Big holes.
The what?
We got big holes.
Big holes!
Let's get from down there and we push up from there.
So we'll start doing that right now.
We'll go down.
Squat down.
Get on up and squat on down.
Get on up and squat on down!
Get on down.
Get on down and squat on up!
Thank you everybody for coming and squatting and dipping and doing it right.
Sit down!
We got a big show ahead.
Lots to get to.
Your Zooms.
We got a couple of tricks up our sleeves.
And we're always focused and concentrated on what?
Making us laugh.
Making each other laugh.
Having fun.
Staying together.
When it seems like every day all they're trying to do is pull us apart.
What am I?
What is on my head?
What is on my head is a sick joke courtesy of Victor Berger.
That's right.
Victor.
And by the way, we've got a dog.
We're not going to bring that up today.
Yeah, we don't even talk about the dog, but I do have a dog in my arms here.
Those are hats that I thought they would make you look handsome.
Vic said we should do Fedora Thursdays, which we do the show generally on
Thursdays, so that would be every Thursday.
Right.
And I said, you know, listen, in our, in our almost continuous.
What's on my head is a sick joke.
What's going on?
Someone was listening to the show.
Whoops.
Oh boy.
So in my life is a constant thread of these three guys behind me, constant
activity in this thread.
Sometimes I just turn it off.
You put on that.
Do not disturb.
Say, shut up.
You don't have that on mute.
I take some time.
And also, do you ever notice?
Ever notice when you've been sitting around the house, nothing's happening.
You're bored out of your mind.
You can't think of anything to do.
And then you go, you know, I'm going to go out and go to the store.
I'm going to go do a chore or I have to go because I have to go somewhere.
As soon as you get in that car, ding, ding, ding, ding, all the messages start
coming in.
Bing, bing, bing, bing.
And you got to go.
I can't talk right now.
I'm driving.
I'm being a responsible American.
Anyways, Vic, everyone throws out ideas.
There's constant creativity happening in this chat.
Did you see this?
Hey, what about that?
Yeah.
I can't even keep up with a lot of it.
I feel rude.
I should apologize for the stuff I didn't respond to.
And then, so Vic says, how about we wear fedoras?
And who am I to say no?
You know, let the kid have his fun.
It's just one day a week, you know?
And so he bought all these fedoras, of course, but they're his size and he's
got a big old watermelon on top of his shoulders.
An oversized bowling ball up here.
And so I'm saying thanks, but no thank you.
I'll be removing my hat for the remainder of the show.
Thank you very much.
Okay.
And I don't like, I don't get, I can't pull off a hat.
There's a lot of, a lot of people think, God damn, Tim, you must be, where are
the, I don't, you're a flawless.
Thank you very much.
You're fucking flawless, babe.
A lot of people come up to me and say that.
Waiter said that to me.
I was having dinner.
He says, I don't, I know, I don't want to bother you.
I know you're having dinner with your family here, but you're flawless, babe.
What restaurant is that?
I'm not, because guess what?
I can't pull off a hat.
I can't wear a gentleman's cap.
I just can't.
I think you can, but maybe you're just not used to it.
You gotta.
Yeah, I mean, I wait for a month and then it'll look right.
I didn't absolutely love the way I look as I do now until, you know, it took me
a while.
I think you look great.
You know?
Oh, yeah.
I think you look great.
Thank you.
By the, speaking of you, Vic, how are you doing?
I know you've been, you were, you had mentioned a couple of weeks ago, you were
experimenting
with these micro-dosings.
Hello, everybody.
I had to, hello, everybody.
And to you, Doug, a good morning to you.
Good morning to you.
I need to work on my hello.
Yes.
Yeah, you gotta get your own.
You gotta get your own trademark sound so we know it's you.
No, I, I've been, I've been doing pretty good.
I've been like trying these, these gummies, these psilocybin gummies.
Oh, right.
You know, but I told you about it.
I talked about it here before, but like they're, I think they're like working,
making me a little
happier.
Are you anywhere near your microphone?
I can't.
Oh, gosh.
Okay.
Sorry.
The dog here, the dogs.
Let me put the dog.
Forget the dog.
Let me put the dog back.
Yeah.
I've been, I've been liking these gummies that I've been having.
They're like, they obviously they make you feel good, but they, they taste
really good too.
They're like.
Sometimes that's care that you gotta be careful.
Those gummies.
Yeah.
You can, you know, eat them like a peanut M&Ms or something.
You know, they just like by the handful.
Be careful with that.
Strawberry flavored.
I know.
Let's say good morning to the crew, the gang, the zoom community.
Good morning to everybody.
Thank you for joining us.
There's so much going.
It's a very difficult.
I'll be at Frank with you mentally stressful, just exhausting week because of
mostly really.
What?
I feel really good.
I feel.
Well, good for you.
Oh, I just want to get this out of our system and talk about this fucking four
hour marathon
the other day that we got through some of it, I guess.
I don't know.
I don't read.
There's.
How do you want to talk about this?
You try to be a good person.
Vic.
So what do you do about that?
Maybe, maybe let the zoomers talk about it.
Yeah.
Let's just let it.
The guy want to know.
Yeah.
Part of me wants to just rip it off like a bandaid and get through it.
Part of me wants to maybe just have it be an evolving conversation because I
just I do
have a lot of thoughts about it.
David Bowie.
You fucking leave me alone.
Yeah.
Let's play a couple of the greatest hits, boys.
Just to just to fill our minds with the nuttiness.
From that podcast.
I've looked at the darkest things I could possibly find for a long, long time.
There were paintings on the ceilings.
I had hundreds of them.
Do you keep paintings on the ceiling, Tim?
Is that a thing?
No, I don't know.
I don't know what that's from.
I don't know if you're just out of.
Wake up.
Yeah, I don't have too many from the current thing.
I do have him saying Bowie.
Bowie.
Try to be a good person.
And Mick Jagger.
Listen, I think that there are.
For me, I think that there are there's sort of three levels or layers to this.
There's like layers like there's this.
And then there's the funny part of it, which I think there's like so much funny
about it.
So much that's funny to us about it.
That's not really substantial or substantive.
Right.
We need some humor.
And whatever.
That feels like fair game.
Like we can laugh at people for who they, how they're representing themselves.
Especially powerful people.
Yeah.
And the way people talk sometimes.
And the way, you know, the tuxedo look.
I mean, I don't even know where to begin with that because part of me thinks I'm
getting baited in.
Right.
Like, are you, are you playing?
Are you fucking with us with this or what?
Like what?
So I'm fully aware that there's that side of it.
The fingers.
Is that a new thing?
Yeah.
The hand moves.
It feels like speedy.
Right.
And then, so that's the funny part of it.
There's to me, there's also a fascinating part of it that there is, that this
is happening
right now, that there is this kind of conversation going on and that this guy
has some kind
of intellectual weight in the whatever cultural conversation that's going on in
the world right
now.
Because there it is.
So there's the, there's the sleight of hand.
I found a hearing.
Multiple orgasms.
Predictability with a leaven of unpredictability.
You're overweight.
You should exercise.
You're ill.
And then that puts you right on the edge.
That's the zone.
And you know, fair enough.
Fair enough.
Wait, the zone of what?
Proximal development.
Vygotsky discovered that.
I think it's fascinating that like, he's so clearly disturbed and there's
something going
on there.
And I think he's drastically, or I don't know about drastically, but he's
gotten even further
off the, off the universe.
But his, his, his fans who are somewhat cultish, they, they have to act like it's
normal.
Yeah.
Like he's like, like he's putting out this profound wisdom into the world.
Yeah.
And, but, and it's a word salad.
Yeah.
It's all right wing and talking points.
But he's like using like 40,000 words to say a sentence.
Right.
And he's, he's playing all these rhetorical games.
You want to play a game?
Okay.
Let's play a game.
Let's, let's move the conversation in this direction while I'm moving over.
Let's play a hand.
It is illusion that it's like these illusions he's doing.
It's a game.
Wake up.
It's a game.
It's a goddamn game for, for bloody.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
So I tried to, and people say, well, you're taking it out of context.
And I go, well, I, I, I did listen to a big chunk of it.
And I will say that there is something hypnotic about it.
Right.
And I think this is true for Joe.
As, as all like a grifter con men kind of.
Yeah.
There, there is this sort of like a Dale Carnegie technique of kind of.
Barnum kind of stuff.
You know, Joe's delivery is very kind of calming and relaxing and he lulls you
into this
like false sense that you're having a rational discussion.
When, when you really kind of pick it apart, it's, it's oftentimes nonsense.
Straight white men are not allowed.
Nonsense.
And, and deliberately confusing, you know.
Can't we just communicate?
And I, and I don't really know how much of it is intentional or how much of it
is kind
of strategic or sort of coming from this genuinely nefarious place.
I don't really know.
Or if, or if Jordan Peterson is like truly wacko and eccentric and out of
control.
Is it normal?
Because when you watch him and you try to follow any of it, I find myself to be
a fairly, I'm
a, you know, college graduate and we're all, and I, a lot of people that fairly
reasonably intelligent.
And by, and I listened and I try to follow what he's trying to say and you get,
your brain
gets exhausted because he's moving in so many different directions and saying
so many things
that kind of contradict themselves.
Well, I like, I don't want to take advice from a guy who only eats meat and
salt.
That's like his, that's his actual diet.
Is that still happening?
Yeah.
I mean, well, yeah.
I don't know.
Are you still eating your old beef?
So there's that going on.
That.
And then also, do you know about the, uh, his benzo issues?
Well, yeah, there's, so there's all this, of course, there's this fair, fairly
reasonable
people can understand, can know that he had, he had drug, he has a drug
addiction problem
that I don't know what the state of it is.
If he's off it, it's not for me to judge.
Life's tough, man.
And I also will say like, he often says very interesting things.
And he often, I often, and I don't, and I can dig that he can get emotional.
Right.
I can dig that he can get emotional about music.
I can get emotional about music.
I can get, I can well up about, about things.
Could I say one thing?
To the degree that he does.
But do you, do you get emotional about the memory of a cover band playing a
blues rock album?
Of course.
At Kid Roc