Name: Dave England, SASAMI on Office Hours Live (Ep 193 2/10/2022)
Uploaded: 2022-02-10T20:51:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave England, SASAMI on Office Hours Live (Ep 193 2/10/2022)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave England, SASAMI on Office Hours Live (Ep 193 2/10/2022)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-10. Transcript available.

Dave England, SASAMI on Office Hours Live (Ep 193 2/10/2022)

This is a city of swagger.
We need some humor, turd.
I'm not going to wear underwear.
Let me do the talking.
Come on!
I think you need professional help.
Mom, I want a baby.
I like having fun.
I like to laugh.
I like to meet people who can make you laugh.
I like having fun.
Yes, I like you to laugh.
Hey, good morning.
Good morning.
We are live.
Unless you're watching later in the future, we are broadcasting now live at the
moment from Glendale, California.
It's 10:00 a.m. Pacific, February 10th, 2022.
It's windy.
It's warm.
We have major fires in the neighborhood this afternoon.
Oh, yeah?
They're saying it's going to roll right up the canyon.
And we're trapped.
There's only one exit here, so we wish and hope for the best.
Thank you, Avery.
Ladies and gentlemen, aviary fans of the show.
Doug, aviary definition.
Aviary.
Anybody?
It's a place where the birds live.
There you go.
There he is.
He's chiming in.
It's not been introduced.
Shame on him.
We will be escorting him out.
Dave England from the Jackass gang is here, sitting in the guest chair.
Let's just go to him right now.
Come on.
We just want to laugh and have fun and forget about all your problems.
There he is.
He doesn't need to say a word.
His red carpet appearance from the other night will speak for himself.
If you don't mind, Dave, I have just a little bit of business to take care of
in terms of the show.
And then we will get into the big interview.
I'm all for it.
First of all, big complaint here, Doug.
Somebody got into my cocaine.
This was on my desk.
I have my own.
I did not take that.
Well, Dick, then, are you dipping in?
Were those mushroom gummies a gateway drug for you?
Because I need this stuff to get me going for the show.
And it's empty, not even a speck.
So we're going to have a staff meeting about that, Matt, after the show.
Noted.
Soinoy new to you, everyone.
Soinoy new to you.
I have a new, I forgot what my new.
Doug, how are you this morning?
Hey.
That's going to be my catchphrase.
It's a little fey.
Well, that's fine.
That's my new vibe.
Okay.
Good for you.
And Vic, how are you?
Hello, everybody.
See, that's classic already.
Like you can just tell I was off the tongue.
Hey.
Hello, everybody.
Hey.
Do it a little, do it soft, but like get closer to the mic.
Hey.
There we go.
Dave England, do you have a catchphrase you use to start your introductions
with people?
How would you, what would you, what would you do?
That was pretty good.
I don't know, but you know what?
Like the little baggie of sugar I put in this made my coffee more bitter.
We have an issue, folks.
We have an issue, folks.
We'll be right back.
The old soup, soap conundrum that the Stooges would find themselves in often.
Enjoy the show.
They'd go for the soup box and soap would come out and they'd put that in the
room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put that in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And they'd put it in the room.
And it was not fun.
But I would've rather been here.
Happy birthday, Tim.
Is your middle name bad?
Vic Bad Burger.
Bad Burger.
Bad to the burger bone.
Speaking of birthday, Dave walked in with a gift.
Oh, yes.
And he asked me to have something for you, Tim.
And nothing for you fellows.
We're going to continue the birthday celebrations right now.
You're going to love it.
And I can't wait.
You have?
Well, you don't have to wait.
That is a poncho.
It's a functioning poncho I wrapped in.
This looks like some swag.
Jackass forever.
Oh, shit.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
What could be in here?
You're going to open it carefully?
Is this going to be a tarantula in here?
Oh, yeah.
You're thinking it might be bad.
Actually, I'm pretty close.
That is cute.
It's a monster toy.
Not for kids, right?
I don't know.
I could give this to my son and explain it to him much later.
Dmitri Esklovich gave it to his child.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What does it say on the bottom?
This is not a toy.
Okay.
Oh, well, okay.
There we go.
This is very big.
It's cute.
Only for sex.
Well, I'm sure you spent quite a bit on this.
Is that to scale?
I know, right?
Is it?
I think it might be.
I mean, like, I thought his was bigger.
Oh, my God.
Well.
But talking about Chris.
If you haven't seen the movie, I know you haven't seen the movie.
When you do, you'll understand that.
Here's the deal with that.
I was going to bring this up.
I'm glad you know, because I was embarrassed about this.
The deal is, I had every intention to see the movie.
I want to see the movie.
I'm going to see the movie.
I also kind of know what, you know, I'm a fan.
Yeah.
It's not like I'm, like, confused about what you do.
I am.
Oh, no.
Just watch it when you get a chance.
What is this, Jackass?
What is this all about?
But I wanted to see it.
And then life got away from me.
And stupidly, we organized this Patreon movie night to go see the Beatles get
back in IMAX last night.
Oh, I want to see that.
Oh, goodness.
It was so beautiful.
Did you see the long version?
No, I said I want to see it.
I didn't want to see it.
Oh.
Well, they just put out--
I want to boink you.
By the way, it does feel like we've all just done coke.
The energy is, like, super intense right now.
Do you want the energy to get even more intense?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Look at this.
Oh.
Oh, God.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, you know what?
Is that an original?
I bleached it out.
Okay.
I bleached it out a little.
But you know what?
Yeah, dude.
Rats off to you.
Wow.
That is in the movie, right?
I did.
I wore this.
I wear this strip all the time, dude.
No, but you know why?
I didn't know.
Oh.
Oh.
Is this our call?
Oh, we got to--
Oh.
No, it's not going.
Okay.
Sorry.
We had a butt dial come in during our pre-show that's on my Instagram, and we
left a message,
asked them to call back.
Um, I know that because a year ago when you were about to put-- you guys were
working
on-- about to release "Jackass Forever," and then you guys pulled it because of
the pandemic,
we got a note from the legal department getting permission to use--
Oh, yeah.
--for that shirt to be seen in the movie.
And, uh, anyways, that's very nice.
Um--
I love this shirt.
Is that true, Tim?
You got-- they had to clear that shirt?
No, I just make shit up now.
I just-- I just-- I'm so creative, it's all I do is--
Wait, wait, the guy in the mall, did he try to clear it, or did he just rip you
off?
Well, that's a story.
Yeah.
That's a-- that's a fictional--
Oh, that wasn't real?
That wasn't real.
Oh, I hate-- I hate this shirt now.
I hate everything about it.
Damn it.
Um, you know, where was I?
So, uh, I wanted to see the movie.
That's the-- that's the point.
The Beatles and IMAX, folks, it was-- I was--
Matt was a beautiful-- Matt and Doug were there.
Beautiful night, wasn't it?
Yeah, I-- I dozed off a couple--
No, you didn't.
Get out of here.
It was immersive.
It was IMAX.
No, it was great.
It was really cool.
And it was a big surprise because Vic couldn't make it at the last minute.
I had to go to gymnastics at the last minute.
Not for yourself.
No, no, no.
Not-- not-- not Wednesday nights, but yeah.
My daughter goes.
Who took your place?
Who took your seat?
Mr. JCR, John C. Riley.
Talladega Nights, John.
Yes, the famous.
And so we all sat there and with-- with about 15 of our loyal fans here who
were given tickets
by us out of our pockets.
John couldn't believe it.
He was like, "That's very generous."
I actually don't have that much of a problem with that.
And we bought him, uh, drinks and food after.
Some of them.
Some of them.
The lucky few.
But anyways, I was-- I just welled up about the whole thing.
It was so-- there was guys-- well, I don't need to go on about it.
I was amped up.
I was like--
They were so beautiful.
Beautiful guys.
Young.
Everything is so vibrant.
And just-- when you see it that big and it's so loud, it's like-- it really
hits you how-- like-- how much love there was.
How-- how together they were at that moment.
Wait, are you talking about our movie or the Beatles movie?
I could be talking about either, I suppose.
That was touching, too, Jack.
At the end of Jack is very touching.
So Matt saw it.
Doug saw it.
The dad's in the house.
I didn't see it yet.
Although they want to do it.
I want to.
I will.
I will 100%.
Matt's a dad who doesn't love his daughter.
Yeah.
Do you know Sasha or the editor of the movie?
Not--
Oh, yeah.
So I met Sasha, yeah, recently.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you're not-- you're pretty hands-off in the edit.
They won't let us in this movie because of COVID.
All the other movies, we were just hovering over the editors, giving them all
our diseases.
Right.
This time, zero diseases for the editors.
But also, we-- yeah, that was a huge part we missed out on.
Well, Sasha--
Sasha, yeah.
Sasha has been editing my show on cinema, had been editing for many years, and
was sort of the
and he edited our movie, Mr. America, and he was-- he's always been a big part
of the show.
I don't say was because I hope one day that he gets-- you know, you guys stop
fucking around
and there's no work for him.
And dickhole or whatever it is closes their doors and gives me back my--
Dickhole.
What is it again?
What?
Dickhouse.
Dickhouse.
I think they should change it to dickhole.
I think that's way better.
I'm coming day and night.
Listen.
Oh, yeah.
Later on the show, we have an incredible musical performance from Sasami, who
just did a warm-up--
Oh, yeah.
--sound check, and it was spellbinding.
Yeah!
And it was the loudest sound check we've ever had, which I like.
Fuck off.
Fuck off.
In a good way.
It's not AC/DC.
Woke up.
God damn it, man.
Um, and lucky winners, lucky, lucky listeners, somebody is going to win a Bored
Horse Beatles
Edition NFT that I launched yesterday.
We've got-- Matt, can we show these real quick so people can, uh, write.
Sorry, I had-- I had Vic.
Can we show Vic's merch first while I find him?
Oh, yeah.
There we go.
You've got some nice-- speaking of this beautiful catchphrase I have now, now
you can wear the
catchphrase.
Hello, everybody.
That's what nobody wants.
How cool is that?
Everybody wants.
So, if my parents are listening, you guys want to get a-- you get yourself a
pair, go ahead
and order it now.
And, uh, if my sister's out there, you can-- you can get it, too.
Can you imagine why in that shirt?
Hello, everybody.
All right.
Here's your NFT.
No, but these are exciting.
Uh, I put these together.
You know I love the Beatles.
This is my collection.
It's the Bored Horse collection, but t