Name: (Not Watching The) Super Bowl Party Highlight Reel (Best of Office Hours)
Uploaded: 2022-02-16T03:40:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '(Not Watching The) Super Bowl Party Highlight Reel (Best of Office Hours)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '(Not Watching The) Super Bowl Party Highlight Reel (Best of Office Hours)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-16. Transcript available.

Oh, say does that start, oh, say can you sit by the dawn's early light, what so
proudly
we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars
through the perilous
light? All the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming? And the rockets'
red glare, the bombs bursting
in the air. Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave? Yes, yes.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave? Yes, yes.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave? Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave? Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave? Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes.
now i know what it's now i know the perspective of what it's like to be your
erect uh penis
that's because that's what the angle looks like
you know that's like that depends like am i straight on am i like over here
like
you know and then all of a sudden it'd be like and then maybe like i it's not
erect it's like oh
can i ask a question oh yeah go ahead go ahead what's your psi
wow i i don't even know you that well you don't know the yeah that's a little
personal you don't
know the official what's the official psi of the game what is happening who is
this i know it's a
little it's a basic question that any football would know absolutely so are you
just challenging
whether or not i'm a football because football if you don't want to answer that's
fine no no i'll
answer i mean i don't know what my body temperature is now so i guess no that's
cool um it's it's
somewhere between 12 and a half and 13 and a half pounds per square inch okay
how big is your dick
i gave him a new name because he's no longer an intern lieutenant carson what
do we think oh
he's like my lieutenant you're checking vodka what does that make you though i
think it's
i'm starting to share captain carlin
that's gonna be the dude name it's that time again six o'clock p.m boys and
girls gather around
for another thrilling episode of captain carlin on today's episode
trouble in the zoom room
the whole tone scale like uh like the dream kind of thing do you know what i
mean the dream sequence like
it's like it's yeah yeah there it is yep oh yeah yeah there it is oh yeah
there it is there it is there it is that's the code is that like a flashback or
something yeah
yeah like a flashback yeah i was just dreaming so you've been playing harp
since you were a little
kid yeah wow how did you living how did you get into that my mom plays a harp
so oh it's a family
tradition yep does she play it in church for the church sometimes yeah uh-huh
um but she she i'm
from north carolina and she was the harpist with the symphony where i was from
for a long time she
does like weddings and stuff what cued you into the idea of taking it into this
kind of ambient more
experimental uh place how did that come to be i mean i went to school for music
music conservatory and
stuff i learned the basics but then i moved to philly in 2000 2005. philly head
huh yeah i was there for
13 years wow so i think we have a lot of mutual friends i think we have a lot
of mutual friends
actually but um you know kurt vile yes yes so kurt and i started playing
together um you know early on
like 2006 or 7 together and he had one he had pedals and stuff i was like what
would happen if i put the
harp through this what were you you're playing the harp with him yeah wow yeah
um what was that music
like it was great um i played on smoke ring that okay that was our first thing
that we made together
but i've pretty much played on most of his records ever since cool did you play
in this new one that
that he was out here recording yeah wow yeah um and then you have your own
records under your own name
and i highly recommend i sent it to my dad the other day i was talking to my
dad and i told i was like
i bet you would like this your music is kind of like everybody has a everybody
can like this there's a
place in our there's always a time when we can use you know that kind of music
and you're you're a one
one-stop shop to get the sports bar you want to see just for some entertainment
i'll toggle i'll try a glass
- Oh, man. - Okay, go ahead.
- Okay. - All right.
- He does have a Tim vibe from last year.
- I got like a Tim first Clark ranking kind of matchup.
- Right, Clark, yeah. - M&A!
- Wow. - I mean, are you there by yourself?
- Do you like beer? - No, I got my dad here.
- Oh! - Dad!
- There's Dad.
- Hey, Dad. - Hey, Dad.
- Hey, Dad.
I'm a comedian guy.
- You look like Jonathan Winters.
Looks like you had a couple of pints there, Pat.
Having a good time there, are you, Pappy?
- I was going to say I have a pun for you.
I've had a pun for you for a while.
- Please.
Puns are basically becoming the centerpiece of the show.
- You have to have a pun. - I don't have any problem with it.
- I actually don't have much of a problem with that.
- Okay.
What do you call it when you just got to get out of Hollywood?
- By the way, I'm sorry.
You have to pause because there's never been more crinkling
than what Matt is doing right now.
It is crinkle town in here.
- He's fixing himself a plate of tortillas.
- And rolled gold.
- There's so much crinkling.
- He's got his knockoff Pringles over there.
- Apparently there's nine bags of chips that need to be opened.
Each chip is individually bagged.
They're the loudest bag I've ever heard of.
My snack.
- Okay.
What do you call it when you just got to get out of Hollywood?
- What are you?
- SoCal distancing.
- SoCal distancing.
- Very nice.
- Touchdown.
- SoCal distancing.
- I've had that for a while.
I'm so glad you picked me.
- Oh, it's a social SoCal.
- Yeah.
That's really funny.
- It's like a phonetic pun.
That's like a phonetic pun.
- Is that highbrow?
That's more highbrow.
- That's pretty special.
How are you guys spending the day?
- How are you spending the day?
- Yeah.
- How are you?
- I can't believe it.
Are you hearing it?
- It's still going.
- It is apocalyptic.
- Yeah, it's the loudest.
- The loudest.
- Why does he need two dips?
Why do you need two dips?
He has two dips.
- I want to try both.
- I want to try both.
- All right.
So I know one of Steven Seagal's cleaning ladies.
And I guess the question would be,
why did she have a problem cleaning Steven Seagal's bathroom?
- Why did she have a problem cleaning Steven Seagal's bathroom?
I have no idea.
- Because he always left a Serbian film.
- A Serbian film?
- Oh.
- So I heard that the Navy in Sweden is starting to use electronic barcodes on
their ships.
- Yeah, I know about this one.
- I know this one.
- Oh, yeah.
So they can Scandinavian.
- Yep.
- You ruined it, by the way, by saying Navy at the top.
You say the Maritime Division of the Armed Forces is how you want to clear that
out.
- Yeah.
- That's my little punch away with that.
- Yeah, you can't say the word at a...
- Absolutely not.
- That's like comedy rule number one.
- Okay, okay.
- Can I try another one?
- Try it again.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- This one's not quite a pun, but it's a nice quick joke.
What does a sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
- What does a sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
I don't know.
- Beat it.
We're closed.
- There you go.
- Touchdown.
- Little blue.
Try to explain that one to my daughter.
I like that one.
- Yeah.
- Here's a family-friendly one.
Who can drink five gallons of gas and not get sick?
I would say Jerry can.
- Ah.
- Can I punch up your joke real quick?
Which member of Grateful Dead can drink?
- Oh.
- See, this is the master.
- See?
- There you go.
- Hey, Mr. Social.
You were chowing down in there a minute ago.
- Number one, Drizzlers reporting for duty.
- Drizzlers.
- I don't want to know what the hell was on that chip.
- It was a good Drizzler, pal.
- That's not from the set of Jackass 3, is it?
Or 4.
- I almost took this lady to see Jackass for Valentine's Day,
but I decided it might be a little too gross.
- You mean he almost did?
That's tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- Get him out of here, man.
I've reached my limits.
- What's going on, Tim?