Name: Office Hours East with New York Jonathan, Slice, Football & Christy Karacas (Ep 9 2/18/22)
Uploaded: 2022-02-19T04:09:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Office Hours East with New York Jonathan, Slice, Football & Christy Karacas (Ep 9 2/18/22)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Office Hours East with New York Jonathan, Slice, Football & Christy Karacas (Ep 9 2/18/22)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-19. Transcript available.

Office Hours East with New York Jonathan, Slice, Football & Christy Karacas (Ep 9 2/18/22)

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I like how we got this wide shot.
Let everyone take it all in.
Let me get the mic.
We're going to work out some mic stand issues.
We're realizing this is just like right in front of my face, but that's okay.
And then what does our tighter shot look like again?
Let me just see that.
There we go.
That's not bad.
You go back to the wide shot.
If you want, we can stay tight.
Anyway, there's a lot to talk about tonight before we even just get into the
meat of the show.
First thing I want to mention is, you may know this, you may not, we're doing
some sock talk tonight.
And if you knew that, great.
If you didn't, now you know.
So there's a hotline number.
What is it, producer, Tori?
Is it in the chat?
Actually, Zach can give us that hotline number.
So you can call in on the hotline number, which you'll see shortly.
There it is.
818-804-4478.
Right?
Yeah.
Hey, John.
Yeah, Slice.
I just thought of something.
What is it?
You're the sock talk shock jock.
The sock talk shock jock.
Should it just be like sock jock?
Sock jock.
Some hosts are shock jocks.
You're a sock jock.
You're the sock, I'm a sock jock.
Some hosts are shock jocks.
You're a sock jock.
Well, it also could be like if it gets, if it gets, if the sock talk gets
shocking, then
I could be a shock, a sock, then it would be shock sock talk or a sock shock
talk.
Sock shock.
You ever had shakshuka?
What is shakshuka?
It's peppers and tomatoes stewed with eggs.
I don't know if I have actually.
Well, let's just, let's just, just so you know, there's the number for sock
talk.
It's coming up later.
So what we want to do in sock talk, we want, I want to hear about your favorite
socks, running
socks, sports socks, athletic socks, everyday socks.
I want to, and what we're going to do tonight, we're going to be able to zoom.
Is that right, producer Tori?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm putting the, I'm putting the link on the chat right now.
The link for the zoom is on the chat.
And so if you want to like zoom in, we'd love to see your socks and then talk
about, and then
we're going to talk about them.
Whoa.
I love talking about socks.
I really do.
And so this is going to be, we're doing it again.
Um, now I forgot.
Well, let's wait till sock talk.
Will it be, will it be chock full of sock talk?
Tori.
Tori.
Chock full of sock talk.
Chock full of sock talk.
It'll be chock full of socks.
Chock, chock.
Now that makes me think of that old, like, what was that?
Chock full of nuts is the heavenly coffee.
No nuts in that coffee.
Coffee a millionaire's money can't buy.
That's the old, right?
That's the old jingle for chock full of nuts.
Maybe we can find a link and show that later.
They got a banana bread sandwich they used to have there.
On the chock full of nuts?
Mm-hmm.
The commercial?
No.
No, no, at the restaurant.
Was chock full of nuts, they had a, wait, the chock full of nuts coffee had a
restaurant?
Yeah, chock full of nuts.
In New York?
Yeah.
Wow.
Is it still around?
Mm-mm.
And they had a good banana bread?
Sandwich.
Wait, a banana bread sandwich?
Banana bread sandwich.
What was between the banana bread?
I believe it was a date, a date butter.
Oh, wow.
That sounds, I'd probably have to split that.
I'd have, I don't know if I could do a whole thing.
That sounds like something where it's like late at night, you've been partying,
you're
with your pals, let's go split a chock full of nuts banana bread.
Is it a sandwich?
Sandwich, two slices in between is date.
Wow.
Can you get stuff like, put some whipped cream on there, some strawberry, like
some fresh
strawberries, cut them up?
Would chock full of nuts restaurant do that?
I'm not sure if they would do that.
I don't, I mean, I think, it's interesting you think banana bread's a late
night food.
I'm not saying specifically a late night food.
I'm just saying that's what it's making me think of right now.
And because also that was probably in Times Square, right?
Yeah.
So I'm just thinking like New York, you're partying, you just want to like get
something
sweet, like a sweet treat.
And you're going to think like chock full of nuts is that heavenly coffee,
coffee a millionaire's
money can't buy.
Which first of all is bullshit, right?
A millionaire's money can buy anything.
I can't believe you're saying, I mean, Eve, you have the nickname New York
Jonathan, and
you're saying you'd go to Times Square party and not go to the Godiva store?
I did not say that at all.
You are running with a, you are really inferring, I believe grammatically is
correct, something
I didn't even say that.
First of all, what I would do is go to Jacques Torres.
That's where I want to go first.
I want to get a chocolate chip cookie, hot and melty off the warmer.
God damn it, I want that right now.
We need to set up our studio next to a Jacques Torres chocolatier.
It's disrespectful to Godiva, which is God's chocolate.
Give me a break, it's disrespectful.
Is that even good, Godiva?
God-diva is how it's supposed to be pronounced in France.
It seems like you're adding a D, you went God-diva, right?
There's only one D in Godiva, right?
It would be God-iva or God-diva.
God-gah-gah-gah-gah-diva.
God-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah-diva.
You know, it's like, um...
What the fuck is that?
That was kind of like my parody song of Beyonce, but about Godiva chocolate.
What is God-gah-gah-diva?
It's a Beyonce song?
I am a diva.
Oh, I'm a diva.
I am a diva.
So, go-go-go-go-go-go-diva.
You know what?
You know what?
Your cadence was making me think of, you remember this old song?
19.
No, no, no, 19.
The average age of the soldier killed in Vietnam was 19.
No, no, no, 19.
Is that it, Perus Satori?
I saw you kind of nodding back there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
19.
I remember that one.
No, no, no, 19.
Anyway, we got a lot of show, and we've got to address the peroxide blonde
elephant in the room real quick.
Let's get this out of the way.
Perhaps you've noticed, and we set up a black garbage bag because we realized,
I have peroxide blonde hair, as you probably noticed, right?
Mm-hmm.
And we wanted to get a really nice, you know, shot of that.
I got it.
Oh, yeah.
Look at this fucking sweet thing, man.
Because, you know, it kind of blends into the wall right there.
But if we bring it back here, there we go.
So I did a job.
I'm not going to say what the job is.
I'll promote it when it's time.
The job is done.
And then I wanted to, you know, New York Jonathan likes to wear hats.
But tonight, Slice, I went with a visor to show off the locks.
Can you get to the tighter shot of me?
I don't know if you can see this.
I'm going to bring it up.
Hold on.
So this is just like a running visor, which I really never wear.
I prefer a hat.
I'm not a big visor guy.
Unless it's really, like, disgusting hot.
Oh.
But here's what I, and this was just all black.
But here's what I did.
For season two of Neon Joe, we gave out, for crew wrap gifts, neon hoodies with
this chosen
Oy vey matzo ball gang, which was a joke from the show, patch.
And then it had, like, an NJWH, Neon Joe Werewolf Hunter 2.
And I took that patch off and put it on this visor to make it, like, a fucking
cool visor.
Wow.
Yeah.
We got to get you one for your tank top.
We should maybe, you should start wearing some buttons.
Like, we should put a, oh, we should put a producer Tori button on Slice's tank
top.
That would be a fun, be a fun look.
You know, actually, I got to tell you something.
Tell me, Slice.
Also, it's great to have you back, Slice.
We missed you last week for the Super Bowl.
I know.
It's been a long time.
It was fun.
It's been a while, and it's just so good to have you back.
And I know the fans are happy, too.
I am happy to see the fans.
But I got to tell you something.
And that's not a diss on football.
We love football, too.
No, no, we love football.
And hopefully we're going to have football calling in tonight.
You know, this is our post-Valentine's show.
We're going to talk about Valentine's Day in a minute.
Okay.
But, you know, hopefully we just heard that football's stuck in traffic.
So we may or may not have football tonight.
Anyway, Slice, you were about to say something.
I have had a rash on the back of my Slice.
Oh, God.
For about, I would say, 18 months.
What?
Mm-hmm.
What the fuck are you talking about, Slice?
And I went to the...
18 months?
And I went to the doctor on Valentine's Day.
Oh, God.
And I got a shampoo and a cream.
Really?
And I am cleared up.
Wow.
100% clear.
Look at my back.
I mean, can I?
Yeah.
Let's do this after the show.
This is like an intimate, private moment.
I don't want to have anything happen where, like, we have, like, an oopsie.
And, you know, it's like where you're...
Yeah, I guess...
You know, we see, like, a private part.
Sure, sure.
I just, you know, I've always been against the plate.
And I've been against the plate because I've had a rash this whole time.
And now I feel kind of free.
Maybe next time I'll be standing up, twirling around.
Well, let me ask this.
Do you think that...
Do you think they're related?
You've been on this plate.
You're sitting in Greece.
Are you...
When you go home, like, when you're not doing the show, are you on a plate?
No, no, no.
Oh.
No, I'm moving around when I'm...
Yeah, no.
And you have other clothes, I'm assuming.
This is your...
These are your show clothes.
This is my show clothes and my show plate.
Right.
You got a show plate.
You got your show tank.
Mm-hmm.
Well, listen, I'm just...
Did they say what the rash was?
Was it eczema?
Was it...
No, they said I had overactive skin.
Wow.
Would it...
I mean, I hate to even say this, but...
Go ahead, Producer Tori.
Not pizza face.
Not like you're over...
Tori...
I know.
It's not nice.
What the heck?
It would be pizza back.
Crust got to hurt.
Pizza back.
Pizza back.
Well, I was worried about you.
Slice, because some of the fans were saying that you had said that thing about
Slice dying
every three months.
You know what I did?
And so some people...
Oh, yeah.
What was that?
Did you actually die?
Yeah.
And then I come back with the same damn rash.
I mean, isn't that some kind of purgatory?
Yeah.
That is rough.
That is a...
Yeah, that is a...
What?
Jesus, Tori.
Purgatory.
I'm going to get off my life.
Oh, man.
That's where you got to like...
That's right there.
You should have blasted a L'Chaim.
Is it not at the ready?
Tori.
Purgatory.
L'Chaim.
Purgatory.
L'Chaim.
L'Chaim.
I really loved...
Who does...
Who made our graphic?
Josh?
Josh made our...
You're talking about the promo graphic?
Yeah.
Yeah, that was Josh Inman.
The Valentine's Day candy hearts.
I really want to have one.
I want an actual Valentine's Day candy heart that says L'Chaim on it.
Just...
We should really try to make those.
L'Chaim.
L'Chaim.
So, how was your Valentine's Day slice?
Let's just say I had a date.
Oh.
Well, well, well.
Do tell, if willing.
Well, let's just say, you know, I was on my first day of my shampoo and cream.
Right.
So, I was feeling a little more confident.
And, let's just say I went on a date.
Yeah.
Well, let's...
We did say that.
You did say that.
You went on a date.
Mm-hmm.
Are you at liberty or willing to say with whom?
Was it another slice of pizza?
Was it a human?
Was it another food?
Your call, however much you want to divulge.
I know that I, and I would assume the fans, are, like, salivating to hear this
news.
Do you want to know?
Sure.
Of course.
I'm only saying this because I don't think he watches Office Hours.
Okay.
Are you about to say Jake Gyllenhaal?
You wish I was about to say Jake Gyllenhaal.
You're goddamn right, I wish.
You wish I was going out on the town with Jake Gyllenhaal.
Huge...
Are you having an affair with Hugh Jackman?
Hugh Jackman?
Hugh Jackman?
No, I just bought takes to see him in Music Man.
Really?
Hard to come by.
So tell us about your date, Slice.
All right.
It's with the baseball.
Really?
Yeah.
Any particular kind of baseball?
Just, so you went on a date with the baseball?
Mm-hmm.
How was it?
I'd say it went pretty good.
You kno