Name: Colin Hay, Joe Biden on Office Hours Live (Ep 196 3/2/22)
Uploaded: 2022-03-02T20:55:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Colin Hay, Joe Biden on Office Hours Live (Ep 196 3/2/22)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Colin Hay, Joe Biden on Office Hours Live (Ep 196 3/2/22)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-02. Transcript available.

Colin Hay, Joe Biden on Office Hours Live (Ep 196 3/2/22)

It's 10 p.m. You know where your children are.
You know where your children are.
The pounding, powered by IcePage.
The pounding, powered by IcePage.
The pounding, powered by IcePage.
The pounding, powered by IcePage.
The pounding, powered by IcePage.
And then the pounding, powered by IcePage.
I like having fun.
I like to laugh.
I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
I like having fun.
I like to laugh.
I like to laugh.
Are we live?
Give me this.
Give me this.
We're live.
We're live.
We're live.
Good morning, Vietnam.
Remember how I used to be that time?
Good morning.
Am I loud?
Am I on?
I think I'm loud.
I'm a little low on the monitor.
We got it.
Yeah, baby.
We are coming in clean.
We are broadcasting throughout the globe.
If you're out there in Kalamazoo.
If you're out there in Honolulu.
If you're anywhere, Bolivia, South America, Antarctica, anywhere you get Wi-Fi,
you're in our community
right now.
Doug Lussenhop is with me.
DJ Doug Pound, good morning to you.
Hey.
And Vic Berger is here, of course.
Hello, everybody.
And we are broadcasting from Glendale here, March 2nd.
We're coming in like a lion!
Where's my roars?
Where's my roars?
Search and look at these guys.
They're stressed.
Where are them roars?
What roars?
Where are my lions?
What do you need?
I need lions.
Lions?
Now you need lions all of a sudden.
It's March.
That's embarrassing me in front of our special guest, ladies and gentlemen.
Our special guest is here sitting in the musical chair.
One and only.
He's going to be with us all morning into afternoon, depending on where you are.
Sometimes, for some people, it's afternoon right now.
East Coast.
I'm going to introduce him at this moment.
We're coming to you live.
I've not said, I've not introduced you.
This guy in trouble all morning.
Ladies and gentlemen, these guys are hard at work.
I'm finding lion roars.
Is he regretting this?
I don't know if he's regretting this.
That's why we've got to meet and talk about transitions.
That's true.
We've got to meet and talk about introductions.
Oh, wow.
And I don't have a good segue.
There we go.
You know him from Men at Work and his illustrious solo career, Mr. Colin Hay.
I'm glad.
I'm glad.
Clear your throat.
Can we get him some water?
I'm glad the roars finally came.
Yes.
Everybody at home is applauding.
They're on their feet.
And I'm intimidated slightly by the energy level.
I know.
It's going to drop dramatically.
Trust me.
It was confronting, to say the least.
Well, as we said before, we will expunge the energy shortly.
And then we'll be back to our normal self.
I like to get everybody hyped up.
And then my energy drops.
So it's like a big rush of adrenaline.
And then I feel like within a few minutes, I feel like I've got to get out of
here.
Have a good life.
I've got to go lay down.
Cool it down.
I've got to work on those levels.
My energy levels are all over the place.
And Matt, Captain Carlin as well is here.
Matt Carlin.
Hello.
Hi.
Thank you for coming all this way.
No problem.
It's always exciting to come to Glendale.
Is it?
It's the center of something.
It is.
Well, there's the beautiful center city down there.
That's it.
I know.
What?
You're coming all the way from Topanga Canyon.
I am.
Oh, we're up here.
That's right.
Yeah, we're at the top.
We're at the top of this, if you can see.
We're in the airplane.
Right up there.
We're at the summit.
Broadcasting town.
Isn't this where the Beach Boys hail from?
Am I wrong?
No.
You know, you alluded to that earlier, and I didn't want to correct you, but
they're in
Hawthorne.
Hawthorne.
Long way from here?
It's right on the coast.
That's their Beach Boys.
They're literally Beach Boys.
It's a highway now.
I'm completely wrong about that.
Yeah.
No, there's nothing significant.
I'll try and keep that going all morning where I'll be wrong about everything.
But very confidently wrong.
I'll just be honest with me.
That's all I want.
Hawthorne is landlocked.
Have you?
What?
Hawthorne is landlocked.
Is it?
It is actually.
That's the name of the bootleg.
They're liars.
They're not Beach Boys at all.
It is landlocked.
I didn't think they were close to the coast.
Hawthorne is not close to the coast.
It's fairly close to the coast.
Is it?
They're frauds.
England.
But it's closer than Glendale is.
I'll give you that.
I'll give you that.
And of course, we're going to talk to Colin.
And Colin's going to play a new song later.
And then later in the patron hour, which you're getting live right now, the
second half,
me and Vic are going to join them.
It's a lot of pressure.
We started last week.
What are we going to play?
And me.
We'll decide.
Doug might.
We'll decide to do what sometimes people refer to as winging it.
We're going to wing it.
We're going to wing it.
I was saying, like, we did rehearse, but it would have been cooler if I just
said, hey,
why don't we jam?
And then we just lock in on Waterloo Sunset.
We can't do that now.
No.
The cat's out of the bag.
But if you're just tuning in the second half, maybe we can fool you.
Maybe you go, wow.
Yeah, that's right.
They won't know.
I like it.
What key is it in?
We'll find out.
We'll decide at the time.
So let me just get some business out of the way.
Generally, in a regular talk show, boring kind of, you know, buttoned up.
Is this how you make money?
Let me put it this way.
I ain't losing money yet.
I mean, I always wanted to have these things.
Well, we have a paid audience and we have freeloaders, too.
If you want to contribute, just join.
Thank you for bringing this up.
Join Patreon.com/OfficeHoursLive.
It's $5 a month and you get this shit show delivered to you.
Excellent.
That's good.
That's a good deal.
Here's something funny happened last night.
My son, I was doing this.
I have a five-year-old and an eight-year-old, okay?
And the audience knows this.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
This show just can't be about talking about numbers.
Stop.
I was doing this game.
You ever do this game with your kids?
You just slap them on the hand?
No.
They love it.
Should we be telling the audiences?
I don't know.
No, we're doing like a high five, but like, how hard can you eat that?
Ow!
And they were slapping me.
And they were like loving it.
And I'm doing this thing.
And my son, he does like a blood-curdling scream.
Like a, I can't even do it.
It's like murder scream.
Like, but he's doing it like for show, you know?
But it's got to be resonating through the whole neighborhood, I would think.
I think it is.
I'm thinking, oh, dear son, dear boy, please, we're going to get in trouble.
And so, and about a minute or two after the screaming, big knock, doorbell.
Neighbors.
I'm like, this could be the cops.
Wow.
I bet somebody called the cops.
It's not a great story because it was a delivery of flowers.
Right.
Of course it was.
Yeah.
It was a delivery of flowers for some services I provided.
People are always sending me gifts.
Yeah.
Flowers were for you?
Yeah.
Wow.
What kind of flowers?
They were cool.
They were these, they're, I forget what they're called, but they're preserved
in a way that
they last forever.
Like dried in some kind of way.
Very beautiful.
Very touching and moving.
You ever get an edible?
In lieu of payment.
Edible arrangement?
You ever have an edible arrangement where you eat the flowers?
No.
I got those edible panties on.
We'll talk later.
Oh, will we?
Let me just do this business really, really quick.
Okay.
First of all, Matt, we can confirm that the sold out show on March, March 8th
in LA is sold
out.
Sold out.
Maybe if we uncover some tickets at the door.
Uncover.
You ever, you know, when they do this, they go.
All of a sudden they find something.
We've released tickets.
Well, it's, you know how it is.
It's if you don't, if you don't fill that guest list, you sell them.
Yes.
Yes.
And are you committed to canceling your upcoming shows in Russia?
Is that what, what's happening with that?
You're, you're, you have to take a stand.
You understand.
That's right.
I know.
It's the least I can do.
The very least.
Where's your, where's your show?
Where is your show?
Well, it's at a very illustrious new theater called the Braindead Theater,
which used to
be the, it's a screen, it's a movie theater.
It's a, it's a, used to be the silent movie theater.
You ever go there in LA?
Yeah.
Or the Cine Family, which was a disgrace.
On Fairfax?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was a.
So it's there.
You have to go across the hill.
I have to get out of Glendale for this.
Yeah.
I'll be there.
Doug Lusenhop will be there.
Vic Berger will be there.
And we're screening Drop Concert 2.
And then later in the month, we're going to put Drop Concert 2 out in a very
interesting
way.
You'll be able to see that.
I'll be at the, I'll be playing music at the Music Hall of Williamsburg, April
16th.
Come out and see me there.
And right now, ladies and gentlemen, this instant, the big news is, if you
visit highnetwork.tv,
you will be able to now get your Oscar, On Cinema, Oscar special tickets.
We've launched it.
Lots of opportunities there.
If you're not an annual member, sign up.
If you don't want to be an annual member, we have the individual tickets.
We have a high network film buff bundle, which is exciting.
And there'll be a promo video launching as well.
It's on that site right now, actually.
It's live.
So we're doing it.
We're back.
March 27th.
The Oscars.
No one gives a shit up.
Do you watch the Oscars anymore?
It's a joke.
Admit it.
Well, I think I will.
I think I'll watch them.
Well, watch the On Cinema.
On Cinema.
There's nothing really else on that note, is there?
There is.
There's the On Cinema Oscar special.
We've now become counter-programming for the Oscars.
And many people have written me and said how much they enjoy this.
They don't even bother with the Oscars anymore.
It's a complete farce.
It's a joke.
And do you have a running commentary on the whole thing?
Are you going to ask me how I make money on this, too?
Oh, yes.
Well, you buy tickets.
It's the old-fashioned way.
How do people...
How do you make money?
People buy tickets to go see you play the guitar and sing your songs.
I know.
It's not complicated.
Not everything's going to be a handout for you.
Cheap bastards.
No.
We love everybody.
We have peace in our hearts.
That's my business, Matt.
They make money the old-fashioned way.
Unless I forgot something.
Well, there's one.
I just added a new one.
There's good news and bad news.
Oh, God.
You want the bad news first?
Yeah, that's always fun, right?
Leave with the bad news.
Tim's out next week.
I'm out!
The good news, the great Natasha Leggero's sitting in.
We've got our...
We've decided we're going to try this out.
We have a new format.
It's going to be sort of the Joan Rivers guest hosting The Tonight Show model.
Who knows?
I can't wait.
Apparently, Natasha's very excited to do it.
And she's one of our great talents.
Do you just need a break?
I'm at my wits' end.
Can you blame me, Colin?
No, unfortunately, I'm out of town.
And instead of trying to do this thing where I zoom in...
I'm getting a note here.
Now, you'll be fascinated by this.
This is what it's written.
This is coming in from that man over there.
Well, I'm passing it along.
I'm passing it along.
Who's too afraid to talk to you.
Can you try...
Oh, you can read it as it's written.
Can you try to get Colin to put his guitar down while we're chatting?
Oh, yeah.
See how easy that was?
I don't know.
This came from the control room.
Just be honest with the guy.
I wanted him to be comfortable.
He's not going to bite you?
Yeah.
Isn't that a break?
Imagine.
Anything that I'm doing that's annoying you, just let me know.
The control room doesn't like the shop.
I'm okay with the guitar.
Is it okay if he stares at you, Tim?
Like, looks at you and watches you?
Please.
I can stare at him and you at the same time.
By the way, I try to maintain my cool.
I try to maintain my composure.
And I try to be a good friend and a compassionate person.
But!
I have my limits.
I have my...
The other on Tues