Name: Marc Rebillet, Tom Scharpling, Julie Klausner (THE FREE WHOLE of OHL Ep 207 5/25/22)
Uploaded: 2022-05-25T19:48:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Marc Rebillet, Tom Scharpling, Julie Klausner (THE FREE WHOLE of OHL Ep 207 5/25/22)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Marc Rebillet, Tom Scharpling, Julie Klausner (THE FREE WHOLE of OHL Ep 207 5/25/22)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-25. Transcript available.

Marc Rebillet, Tom Scharpling, Julie Klausner (THE FREE WHOLE of OHL Ep 207 5/25/22)

I'll see you next time.
I'll see you next time.
I'll see you next time.
Jesus.
Oh!
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Office Hours Live!
It's Tim Heidecker!
It is May 25th!
The hour is 10:00 a.m. on the Pacific Coast.
It is a beautiful day in Glendale, California.
Beautiful, beautiful, sunny, not too hot, not too cold.
Right in the middle.
It's why we've come out to California in droves.
That's why so many people consider this the promised land.
And it won't be like that for long because we're running out of water!
And we need water to live!
Bim, bim, bim!
We don't need to be going to Mars.
We need to be fixing the planet we live in for now so we can get those rain
coming, figure
out the pipeline to get those floods, the water from all the floods on the East
Coast and get
him out here to California so he can shower or I can wash my asshole!
Now!
I want to see desalination!
Shut the fuck up!
Shut the fuck up!
You're off mic today!
There's too much!
I'm a raw nerve!
I want to see some desalination plans.
That's all I want to see.
Luke, drop his mic.
I don't want to hear from Captain today.
Captain Carlin?
Stop eating meat!
Shut the fuck up!
No, you have permission to speak.
Pigs tea.
Desalination.
Get him out!
You've set the show up!
You've done your job!
Now the audience would appreciate it if you muzzle it, Captain!
I don't even have a camera today either.
Good.
Boy, the audience is cheering!
I have finally said it!
Yes!
I'm here for you!
I'm here for the audience!
I'm not here to listen to that shit!
Scream!
Vic, reel me back in, buddy.
Talk to me.
Be straight with me.
Do you want to hear my famous catchphrase?
I do.
Hello, everybody!
It's helping for leather!
Thank you.
It's helping for leather!
For leather!
For leather!
For leather!
We are joined in the studio!
And let me say what a great honor-
Hey!
Shut up!
Why you?
I had to do mine if you did his.
You don't have to.
There's no rights, by the way.
Huh?
Hellbent!
I loved-
I want to talk about so much.
Hmm.
But I love-
Nice try.
The George Carlin's documentary.
Not the-
Not this Carlin.
Believe me.
They're not making a documentary about him!
I'm gonna make one about Matt.
Yeah, I do too.
Believe me.
That'd be fun.
Believe me!
Multi-part, one of those murder situations.
You're gonna be wondering.
Did I do it or not?
Yeah.
Staircase.
With Matt.
But there's a bit in the George Carlin documentary.
He talks about rights and with this-
How stupid the idea of rights are.
And they're God-given.
And what a fucking joke that whole sh-
That whole thing is.
What?
Inalienable rights.
Please.
You losers.
Please.
Children.
They're children!
Who think all this.
Rights.
I don't hear what that shit-
Wait, so we don't-
We're animals, folks.
Uh-huh.
Okay, what?
rights that are given to us by God are you a moron so we shouldn't have rights
no no rights forget
should shouldn't they don't exist as part of the natural order okay just look
up what Carlin has
to say about don't listen to me I'm just an idiot I just make poo poo and pee
pee jokes yeah look it
up look up that that chunk would you we'll play it I'm sure he'll he'll spin it
in a way that'll
make that'll be like oh yeah yeah right God well then his point is like oh it's
the rights given
by God well he's but he only had 10 of them and then they had to amend them so
there's the idea
of a men like so this guy you talking about commandments or rights both okay
thank you
Jesus the fact that you're like oh here the God of the all-knowing it you know
not impotent
omniscient omniscient omniscient God has these rights but then oops we forgot a
few oops oh shit we got to
fix it yeah idiots dum-dums we're a country of lunatics and assholes that's
like Carlin right
because we walk around we are a country of lunatics and assholes ladies and
gentlemen lunatics and
I got everybody riled up and we're not gonna we're not gonna bring the
temperature down in this room by
the way it's only gonna get high let me welcome the guest Mr. Mark Rebele is
here but you know that
you're doing already folks Mark how you doing I'm revved I'm revved up I'm on
coffee yeah I'm revved
I'm going I'm going bob and weave it bob and weave it everybody everybody
watching right now let's get
those lips moving Doug that's it everybody out there listening you're driving
in your car right you're
driving in your car you know it's Tuesday it's a week later you're listening to
this
podcast in the year 2028 you're sitting in your car right now I go motorboat we
go who the hell is Mark
Rebele you go who the hell is Mark Rebele this guy's a star this guy is a star
I'd say you're one of
the stars of the pandemic nothing better could have happened to you than the
pandemic it's generous and
you know the pandemic was an incredible thing yeah an incredible thing to have
a lot of doors I'm so glad
that happened great for business yeah and terrible terrible thing of course
great for business oh yeah
you're you're uh um the you're the impressions you got engagement the
engagements engagement your
follower numbers went through the roof watch them you can watch the death the
charts of the deaths and
your engagements sort of track at the same time right next to us isn't that
beautiful to see Doug is
shocked Matt is shocked they're shocked I'm not though Vic is what am I shocked
about just how hard I
came in today how hard I came in I've seen it before and I come to expect it
okay I like I like
starting out like that I love it there is a clicking sound that comes in once
in a while are you guys
oh it's clicking on my thing that's a terrible sound you gotta fix that please
no more that's nice I
kind of like that actually all right well we've we've analyzed it and we've
taken it out like you'd
take off a mole or a cancerous tumor you ever get skin tags Jim what do you
mean this somebody pointed out
they're weird they're weird things I got one in the back of my neck yeah I got
one here I got one
here and it's what makes my whole family gets them in their armpits too and
there's a sick one
like my one of my cousins like would take scissors and go oh I swear to god I
swear to god Kelly would
do that um probably just like clears up quickly there's not a big blood supply
it's just like skin I think
you have to excise you have to excise it occasionally yeah yeah you're a mole
guy you have a lot of moles
huge mole head huge mole head I have a sick fetish about moles I'm very
attracted to giant moles
on men's really that men's like abdomens really that's my that's where I get
off I have a little
mole I've got a little mole right there oh can we check that out can we get yep
I saw it just made a mess
let's take a zoomer real quick just to say good morning and say hello and
welcome the community
here guys this is the digital campfire this is we are live we are gathering
around because what else
what the hell else are we going to do right right right it's a very very dark
day in America as it
always is but more dark than usual I guess and if you want to talk about it we
can talk about it if you
want to talk about something else we'll talk about something else but we do
have an incredible show
because not only is Mark here to hang and talk and get to know each other he
comes in by the way
I feel like a long lost distant cousin it felt good it felt good I'll say that
well
it felt like this is one of my guys yeah right yeah you felt the same way I
felt the connection
it was an immediate thing and then we jammed a little bit right away clicked
right Doug if you're
waiting for a hug you might want to pack a lunch didn't you feel that
connection yeah well it's
because of me that he's here so you're welcome oh that's true I want to get to
that later I put the
wheels in motion I'm excited but yeah we jammed I was jamming that should have
been recorded
because that was a hit song zoomer abby are you there hey can we let you record
that the vacation
hey hey abby hi Tim good to see you good to see you hey mark abby what's up hey
good yeah there's a
fan a friend a friend or a fan both okay talk to yes talk to me about it abby
how are you doing mark you
all right I'm good I'm good I'm just doing all right yeah I'm doing yeah thanks
Tim oh we're good
like this is actually happening this is awesome where are you coming from now
yo yeah so what's
going on um this is like my first time being here for the um office hours never
really done it so um
I'm only here because of mark you know don't say that have you seen have you
what you haven't watched
this show before haven't no oh well welcome to the family let me just tell you
how did you what was
your reaction to my first couple of minutes was it like I don't like this guy
no I love it it's very
good I'm pumped I feel pumped please let her speak that's him we're all trapped
here help us abby oh god
he's Thanos you know he is the Thanos he's the what he has you trapped forever
he's Thanos me yeah from
marvel no not you mark oh thank god I can't take that machine that the lady
invented that didn't work
you're my superhero mark oh that's Theranos thank you abby oh Theranos
abby where are you abby where are you calling from the UK a british bruv yeah I
know I figured you were
I don't mind it when you called in you know it's all right I love speaking yeah
what you mean um
well I want you to be a part of this fan base this community um we love it when
we get new folks
in with the whole you know it might be do you know who I am from my uh from my
other comedy yeah you're
from tim and eric yeah there it is the tim part yeah that's right yeah the tim
part yeah but I'm on
listen you can catch me in a lot of movies I'm on tv shows I'm all over the
place in the media
huge um big talent I go watch more of your stuff I only bring it up because man
there's this trend
where I put out this stand-up special a few years ago thank you which you know
fucking love that special and we put where I'm going on tour this summer
tickets available at
timheidecker.com live and this individual tweet the individual clip we pulled
which is me talking
about going to the opera yeah it got this huge blowback or whatever you want to
call it people
were just like well this isn't funny and all that stuff about how they don't
get it right but the other
thing that happens is I don't even know who you are is what they say to me
Christ okay like I don't know
what to tell you I don't care how does that make you feel it's amusing to me
because listen I don't
I'm I don't expect to be like a household name yeah but I also expect human
beings to have like
the common sense and logic to maybe like not express that publicly yeah I mean
it's the attempt is to
insult you right like a who are you who even are you and now it's my I'm sort
of like taking it as a
badge of honor like at this point what a relief it is thank you god I don't
want you to know me go the
fuck away yeah jump off a clue right something like that i don't know you that
kind of thing you know
go go uh like what's that song uh the green song piss up a rope piss piss up a
rope piss up a rope
i'm waving my dick in the wind and that reminded me another ween song another
ween song that uh speaking
of we had pavement here last week oh no way a lot the legendary page oh that's
awesome and i we saw
them the other night um matt and vic and i went doug bailed i didn't want to
get covid before my trip
that's a good fair point fair point all right i'll be happy to receive covid
from that show yeah i mean
if that's what if that's the direction things go that's so be it oh no is it
great it was so great
and i just i got down there in the floor on the floor and they're playing
silence kid from crooked
rain and this is me i'm not kidding you huh i wasn't in the pit i was still
back but
i was doing that i was doing the 90s indie rock jump the pogo that's the pogo
yeah and cut your hair
i mean it was they were so great uh and it reminded me folks that i'm gen x
baby and i'm a hairy guy
and i don't give a shit oh my god about an