Name: Office Hours East with New York Jonathan (Ep 12 6/22/22)
Uploaded: 2022-06-23T03:08:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Office Hours East with New York Jonathan (Ep 12 6/22/22)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Office Hours East with New York Jonathan (Ep 12 6/22/22)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-23. Transcript available.

Office Hours East with New York Jonathan (Ep 12 6/22/22)

We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
And we're really like hitting a nice groove here.
We're really hitting our stride.
And, you know, I was excited to have like a, you know, all these special guests
and do a lot of fun stuff tonight.
You know, you can see, you saw that in the wide shot.
We got a lot of, you know, I got like a lot of, you know, I got some cake and,
you know, I got some cake and fun stuff.
And producer Tory got me this great hat that I'm wearing.
It says New York Jonathan, this great patch.
And it's got this long bill.
Like, look at that. Look how great that is. It's super long. It's a fun hat. I
wore one of my favorite muscle or comfort tees. It's also a crop top. It's just
fun. I was just pumped. I was genuinely looking forward to it. And then, you
know, it's also whatever, like our guest had to cancel. It happens. Look, it's
weird. It's a weird time. It's COVID.
It's not the first time we've had a guest canceled. It's like, all right, it's
fine. As long as we got the gang. And then Slice has to drop out. Slice had
something come up. I think, you know, whatever. Slice is busy and not a big
deal. We got football that fills in when Slice has to do something or gets busy.
And then football has a last minute commitment, has to drive down to Florida or
something like that.
And so, you know, it's just me. And I thought, you know, I can do this. I'll
just, you know, put on a good face and come have fun. And I got here and we're
setting up and rehearsing. And I just could not shake it.
And I'm really bummed. And so, you know, I thought it was going to be cool and
it's not.
That's just the way it is. So I thank all of you for showing up and tuning in.
But I'm going to say good night and I'm going to go home because I can't, I don't
feel like doing the show.
It's just not a way to celebrate your birthday. So thank you for tuning in. We're,
we're, we're not doing the show tonight.
John.
What?
Sorry, but.
Producer Tori. Wow. Producer Tori chiming in with another poorly timed interruption.
What is it, Tori?
We have a call.
I'm just said I'm not taking calls. I'm not doing the show. I'm not taking
calls. We're not doing segments. We're doing nothing. And I'm going home.
So tell the caller, thank you. We appreciate you being a fan and watching, but
we're not doing it.
You're going to want to take this call.
No, I don't. I don't want to take any calls tonight.
You have to take this call.
Why? Is it my mommy?
You're just going to have to take my word. You have to take this call.
Whatever. Who is it?
Caller, you there?
Hey, Tori. Hey, John.
Oh.
It's Tim Heidecker.
It's the boss.
Hey, boss.
How's it going?
Sorry.
There's not going to be a show tonight, boss.
Sorry, boss.
Yeah.
No, I listen.
I got the word, you know, I don't know, a couple hours ago.
Tori has been talking to Captain Carlin about what you've been going through.
And so I'm in, of course, I'm in the loop about all this.
And it is disappointing.
You know, we, of all the shows for this to kind of happen, for it to be the one
year anniversary, it sucks.
I get that.
So you understand.
I feel you.
So you called to say, I hear you and have a good night when I leave.
No, I called in because I am watching, as I always do.
I always love to support you and love to support this show.
It's the only other show on the network besides the main show, the West Coast
show, the Office Hours Live.
Right.
Which is going to be a good one tomorrow morning.
We've got everybody lined up for that.
The reason I'm calling is because I don't think this is who you really are.
You are not a quitter.
You are New York Jonathan.
You have to embody that New York spirit.
This is the whole idea of the show.
This is who you are.
This is who I know you are.
You got the grit.
You got the talent for sure, but you don't just lie down like a dog.
Who gives a shit if it's Slice or Football or whoever you're in?
Who was your guest going to be?
I can't remember.
Who the hell was it going to be?
I don't know.
It was maybe going to be Stephanie March.
She was in Neon Joe.
I don't even know who the fuck that is.
She's a really great actor.
A great what?
She was a great actress and a really good person.
She was in Neon Joe.
You're broadcasting on my show.
Speak up.
Be clear.
Grow up.
These are the cards that have been dealt to you, John.
Now, we don't fold in the Office Hours family.
We get up and we fight another day.
We don't quit.
We don't go home and suck on our thumb and hide under our beds.
What kind of message are you sending out to this community, this community of
people that
care about you, that care about each other, that want the best for you?
Why don't you just take a second, man up or whatever you are.
I don't want to, it's not about being a man or being a woman.
It's about being a person.
It's about being a New York Jonathan.
And being a, you know, wait, hold on.
Shut up.
This is about being a New Yorker.
Okay?
This is Office Hours East, my friend.
That's why we came to you and said, we want a New York style show.
We want it gritty.
We want it real.
We want to feel the grime on the streets.
We want to smell that exhaust from the taxi cab.
Fuck yeah.
All right?
You've been through 9-11.
You've been through Sandy.
You've been through COVID.
You've done it.
You've been there.
You know how to do this, John.
You got to get down deep in your gut, grab your balls, squeeze them tight, and
do the
damn show.
Yeah, Tim.
Or this will be the last show.
Fuck no, it's not the last show.
Fuck that.
No fucking way.
No, John.
Machaim.
Yeah, Machaim is right, Producer Tori.
Nice.
Perfect timing for Tori.
Here we go.
Come on.
Yeah, we're going to do this fucking show.
I wore this shirt.
That's it.
I wore this fucking great shirt.
This is my old Maxwell's from Hoboken, New Jersey.
Cut into a crop top.
It's a comfort tee.
Yeah, what's that fucking jam?
Woo!
Fuck this.
We're doing the show.
Thank you, boss.
I'm going to go.
I'm going to let you get the show go.
Yeah.
Let the show go.
And have fun.
Take calls.
People want to talk to you.
Let the audience deal with this show.
Yeah, thank you.
Let them run this.
Let them contribute for once.
Get Tori in there.
Boss, thank you.
Make it happen, John.
Don't let me down.
Got it?
You got it, boss.
That's the pep talk we needed.
Woo!
Fuck yeah!
Let's do this!
All right.
Let's do it.
All right.
Let's do it.
Hey!
Hey!
Whoa!
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're on the first day campus chair.
We're going to get to get to get to the set.
We're going to get to get to the set.
We're going to get to get to the set.
We're going to get to the set.
We're going to get to the set.
We're going to get to the set.
We're going to get to the set.
We're going to get to the set.
We're going to get to the set.
We're going to get to the set.
We're going to get to the set.
We're going to get to the set.
We're going to get to the set.
Yeah, I love that.
That's fun.
Fuck yeah.
Here we go.
We're going to get to the set.
We're going to get to the set.
We're going to get to the set like that.
We're going to get to the set.
We're going to get to the set.
I'm going to take a, I'm going to leave the glass.
All right, where do I plug my, uh, what do I plug in here?
Where's this thing, Andrew?
There it is, right in front of my fucking face.
Woo!
What a fucking jam that is.
Whoops.
How do I tighten this?
I don't want to fucking break this, Andrew.
Now we'll figure it out.
Because you don't want to get like a nice lean.
Yeah.
Is this a Jason Lamb special or is that, uh, just library music?
Yeah, that's a Jason Lamb.
This is fucking outstanding.
This is working out the kinks.
You remember that one?
Oh, yeah.
Is that our first show?
Yeah.
Perfect music.
This is a fucking legit jam.
All right, well.
All right, I guess we'll just play the song all night.
Yeah, there you go.
Well, fuck yeah.
That was exactly the fucking pep talk I needed from the boss.
And, you know, like, as he was saying, you got a man up.
I'm glad he cut himself off.
Cut himself off.
Like, it's not about, that's not, you know, being a man.
Like, that's such an annoying phrase.
But I was going to say, maybe, uh, Jonathan Up.
Maybe that could be the Office Hours East rally and cry.
Either, like, I was going to say, like, York Up.
For, like, New York style or Jonathan Up.
We'll make it.
We'll take a poll.
We'll see what the fans respond to.
And then we'll make a t-shirt and you can buy it.
Or not.
So, yeah, you know what?
Fuck it.
I was bummed at first.
Because, yeah, it's the show's birthday.
You know, it's also my birthday was this past week.
I found out it's our sound guy, Andrew's birthday.
This is, like, a big week.
And, yeah, I was bummed.
But, you know what?
Fuck it.
We've had guests cancel.
Slice has not been able to do it.
Football has not been able to do it.
You know, it is what it is.
And, you know, the boss is right.
Fuck it.
This is New York.
It's New York Jonathan.
We just fucking do it.
We York Up.
I don't know if I like York Up or Jonathan Up.
Or maybe neither.
What do you like, Producer Tori?
Maybe John Up?
But I'm New York Jonathan.
I'm not John.
NYJ Up?
Maybe Jay Up?
NYJ Up?
That almost sounds like Jew Up.
That's cool.
So, anyway, look.
So, I wore my L'chaim up.
So, yeah, I wore one of my favorite shirts.
This is also my daughter's favorite shirt.
This is my old Hoboken, or Maxwell's was a great old club in Hoboken, New
Jersey.
A lot of great bands.
And I think it either closed or they stopped doing bands there.
Did it close, Tori, Producer Tori?
Do you know that?
Not sure.
Doesn't matter.
So, this is one of my favorite.
And it just, like, got disgusting.
And I made it a comfort tee.
And then I made it to a crop top.
And I wear it to embarrass my children.
And then, Tori, like I said, you can see it's a really, it's a long bill cap.
Are you seeing the profile on this when I turn like this?
Yeah.
Is that a good shot?
Run up to the camera if you can.
Sure.
Can you reach there?
Or no?
This is a pretty good shot right here.
I don't want to fuck anything up now that we reset.
So, it's a great patch that says New York Jonathan.
We can get some shots later.
And I'll put it on social mead.
And it's just a fucking great hat.
So, I was pumped about the hat.
I'm pumped about my shirt.
I'm pumped about everything.
And then it just, you know, kind of was a bummer.
But you know what?
Fuck it.
The boss turned me around.
He set me straight.
I had a little brain fart.
And we're back on track.
And, yeah.
So, like I said, I got this really great camping chair for my birthday slash
Father's Day.
They're always around the same time.
And I was pumped to, like, use the chair for the show.
And now we're fucking doing it.
Go to the wide again, Zach.
Like, look at this fucking great shot.
We got all this fun shit.
New York Jonathan.
We already had Kim donated $14.99 in Australian, whatever that equals, on the
super chat.
Barbie Bucks.
I sound a little hot in the mic.
Did I, like, did that peak?
Is that the proper lingo, peak?
Maybe just my cans.
You're good.
My cans are hot.
Well, who was it?
Kim?
Kim.
I was about to say Barbie, but that's just.
Kim, and she said, good luck.
I can't do an Australian accent.
Good luck.
Well, listen, we really do.
I want to say on the one-year anniversary of the show, we thank all the fans
that watch
live and that watch the show after on YouTube.
And I do want to thank the boss for asking me to do this a year or so ago,
where it was
just the beyond stupid idea of making an East Coast version of, like, the New
York gritty
version of Office Hours.
And we had no idea what it is, and we're still figuring it out every month.
And it's so loose, which is what I love about it.
It is really fun to do because it's so dumb, and it really is truly enjoyable,
even all
that fake bullshit of pouting behind.
I really wanted to do the whole show from behind 