Name: Alyssa Limperis, Fredrick Brennan, Uncle Phil Braun (Office Hours Live Ep 219)
Uploaded: 2022-09-07T19:28:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Alyssa Limperis, Fredrick Brennan, Uncle Phil Braun (Office Hours Live Ep 219)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Alyssa Limperis, Fredrick Brennan, Uncle Phil Braun (Office Hours Live Ep 219)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-07. Transcript available.

Alyssa Limperis, Fredrick Brennan, Uncle Phil Braun (Office Hours Live Ep 219)

The sound of applause is not to be ignored, you know?
Hello.
Hello, I'm Johnny Catch.
He's a little corny boy.
Hello, food fans.
Just like that.
Hello, I'm Johnny Catch.
Hello.
What's the deal with fashion?
Catch.
What's the deal with fashion?
What's the deal with fashion?
What's the deal with fashion?
I like having fun.
Dave, you have to do that, man.
I understand.
I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
I understand.
I understand.
Good morning.
Oh, boy could crack.
I didn't do my vocal warm-ups.
Ahhhh.
Just like that.
Ahhhh.
Okay, we are ready to start.
Let's roll back and start the show again.
Good.
Good morning, everybody.
Tim Heidecker checking in on a Wednesday! Good day! We are in post-summer, we're
in a post-summer time. I don't know if it's technically autumn or fall, it sure
ain't here in California. It is a scorcher again. We are in week two of the big
heat wave, trying to stay cool with some hot coffee.
Is it still hot over there? Weather's hot. Glad we got the air conditioning
here, Doug has yet to put on his sweater, we hope it's going to be okay for him.
Good morning, Doug! Hey! And the reason we are coming to you live on this
Wednesday hump day here, September 7th in Glendale, California, is because of
the man of the moment.
The guy whose head I can't see because of the camouflage hat. There's just a
face and then no head. Just full, full, nothing there. Vanish, you vanish.
Is that camouflage his shirt too? There he is, the full picture. Good morning.
So you are embarking on the tour with Tenacious D tomorrow, so thank you for
moving the day out.
Well, you're welcome and we're here to accommodate you and we're wishing you
all the best. I know the audience is going to be out there supporting you and
being in the crowd wherever they are. Thank you, too hot.
They're going to be supporting you as an opening act and it's going to be tough.
Nobody wants to open up for the great Tenacious D. That's the truth. And many
offers went out. We know this.
Many offers were rejected. No, people said no. And I was the only sucker who
taught Barry. What's with the crowd though? Are they like violent people?
I'm turning to you now, Vic, to introduce you. The great Victor Berger IV is
here. Sunglasses on. Cowboy hat on.
Born in Pennsylvania. No right to be in a cowboy hat. I know. I'm appropriating
people's culture. But I'm like a melting pot.
And I do love your shirt. Yeah, thank you. Thank you.
I did give you one note about the microphone. Just make sure you're not too
close. Oh, yes, yes. Got to stay back.
You were going to say? Oh, I was just curious. I see I lean right in right away.
Are they like juggalos? Are they like those kinds of fans?
Well, if you want to get a taste of it. No. I know the Neil Hamburger thing,
but are they? Yes. What's the name of his record, Matt? No.
Hot February night? Yeah. Hot Tuesday night. Hot Tuesday night. Maybe it is hot
February night.
Let's find that out. One of the great comedy albums. You have people talking
about George Carlin and Richard Pryor's album.
These, you know, in the 70s comedy albums were a big deal. They don't really
work so much anymore because you can just watch them.
Hot February night. I was correct. As I always am. Available on Bandcamp. And
Drag City, probably.
Maybe. But this is his opening set for Tenacious D back in 2000 whenever. And
you hear the, and he's doing it sort of on purpose, you know, he's riling
people up.
He's doing bits where he's saying, let's bring out Tenacious D's curtains, you
know, and he does. And then he says, he's got cancer.
And it's just, it's a, it's, it's really one of the great comedy albums of all
time. Check it out. But that'll give you a taste of the audience.
Doug, you should maybe listen to that on the plane. Well, you know what? I'm, I'm
looking forward to entertaining the audience.
And I think I'm going to, I know, I'm going to have them on my side. That's my
plan. And I'm going to do my best.
I want to get reports though. I want to, I want to get honest reports from you.
Don't put any ideas in these people's heads. T the joke for the, if this is a
message to the audience, the joke isn't that you are booing Doug.
Like you're not there to be like the hecklers. You're there to enjoy.
I want to make people laugh and feel joy. And that's what you'll do to people
with an open mind.
Now I don't do an opener. I'm my own opener. I don't need the opening act. You
know what I mean?
It's enough with me. Uh huh.
What's the most opening acts you've had to sit through?
Maybe everyone said no to your offers.
I didn't offer anybody nothing.
Tell you what the great moment, you know what they said, discovery for me was,
they said, no, the great moment of discovery.
You had the great band Yola Tango come out on a tour a few years ago and says,
here's our show.
Two sets, no opener. I'm like, that's the way to go.
With those long solos? Boy, I hope they have seated.
Come see, come see, uh, War on Drugs with opening act, uh, Partridge of Paper.
Who's featuring special guests, uh, Archers of Oak.
What time are you going to go to the War on Drugs show? Uh, well, the opening
acts at seven. So I'm going to get there at 7:30.
God bless you though. And be safe.
No, you think they're all going to be walking in during my-
There's going to be a lot of walking in.
Oh yeah, yeah.
We had that, I mean, you famously opened up for Tim and Eric many times on the
road and that was-
Yeah, but everyone was in, locked and loaded, ready to go when I was up.
Uh, let's welcome our special guest in the guest chair, Alyssa Lamparis. Is
that correct?
It was perfect. It was perfect.
It was perfect. See, I'm such a professional broadcaster.
That was so good. Yes.
One of the great broadcasters. Um, Alyssa is a very funny woman.
I'll say.
What a pause.
A great one. An actor.
What the hell are we going to do with those men?
Oh yeah, you got to sell some stuff.
What was the commercial I saw you on?
Cause I'm watching all these commercials cause I watch so much baseball now.
Oh yeah.
And that's, I mean, every, after any, every half inning, it's like commercials.
Yeah.
Jumbo Jack, Jack in the Box.
I've done some Jack in the Box.
Liberty Mutual.
Yeah, I've done some Liberty Mutual.
That's the big one.
That's the big one.
Now do you got to go shoot that in Mexico or you got to go.
No, I don't, why am I starting on your commercial work?
What an awful position to put you in.
Well, no, I think that's fine.
No, I shot that here in sunny California.
The big news is Alyssa's, uh, big.
I don't want to say it's a standup special.
It is, but it's more than that.
It's like a one woman show.
It's a one woman show.
Yeah.
This ain't no vagina monologues.
Not gay.
Even though I am.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is one woman.
Yeah.
Vagina monologues, they spread it out.
A lot of, yeah, a lot of vaginas.
This is one vagina up there telling her own little monologue.
No bad days.
Yep.
See, I get everything right.
Wow.
You don't even see me with notes.
No, no notes.
This is, we'll talk about it later, but it's a very emotional, very sad, but
very funny.
Yes.
You're mixing it all.
It's what I do.
Yes, it's true.
It's true.
And it's all true.
Yes.
You're not making this shit up.
And if after all this, if I was like, my dad's alive.
What's that guy?
Steve Randizzi or whatever his name is?
After all this, it was all a joke?
The guy, Steve Randizzi or whatever his name is?
The guy that faked, said he was in the 9/11.
He was in the Twin Towers.
He was on that show, The League.
Randizzi.
Randizzi.
And he had to come out and say, well, I, and there's no good reason for it.
Right.
He was close to it or something?
He wasn't, he was nowhere to be seen.
Someone else's dad is dead.
Yeah.
To be fair.
I think that was like Trump too.
He was always saying that how he went down there and was moving shit.
But that's like, of course.
Yeah.
I was the first to be down there.
I don't like it.
Well, let's, let's begin the show.
I've, I've, I've been trying to do a monologue.
Okay, okay.
And so I've worked up one joke.
Okay.
One joke for a monologue.
I mean, that could be the thing.
It's just one joke.
Why do you need seven jokes?
I think that's right.
Ten jokes.
Is it a long one?
No, it's pretty quick.
This Trump, speaking of Trump, apparently, because of this raid on Mar-a-Lago,
he's got somebody that's now going to review everything.
They understand this.
They're going to review all the, all the documents and see if it's worthy of an
investigation.
Uh, do you know how you can, uh, how you can catch one of these people that do
this?
Well, you use a master bait.
Use some master bait.
A special master, wait, special master bait.
Special master bait.
Yeah.
Which is what he's going to do when things go his way.
Okay.
I blew it on the joke.
I supposed, I supposed to say special master bait.
I masturbate a lot.
See, that's the trouble with just doing one.
You kind of, yeah.
That's all I got.
That's all I got.
That's all you got.
That's kind of it.
Not enjoying that one?
I don't know.
I don't.
It didn't make any sense.
I mean, I didn't.
Well, how do you catch one with bait?
Oh.
Use your head.
Take the hat off.
It's too tight.
I don't know.
You know what a master bait is?
I know.
Well, he has a guy.
There's a special master.
And what is the special master?
Well, we don't even know.
It's some judge.
I can't believe Vic's alive.
Vic showed us his coffee.
Oh, yeah.
I can't believe you're drinking it.
I mixed it all in.
It doesn't matter.
We'll show a picture of this.
Yeah, it looks sick.
Let's start the show hot with the great Phil Braun, who's going to join us now.
Phil Braun, Uncle Phil, people know him as.
Phil, you have something for us this morning?
Hey, guys.
How's everyone doing today?
We don't like starting that way.
We're all established.
We're all good, man.
Phil, how are you doing today?
Thank you.
I'm doing good.
I was going to ask if everybody could hear me, but I assume you can.
I'm not going to ask that question.
But some great news today.
They just named a city.
Not didn't name a city.
That's coming.
They named a streak after me.
Oh.
Boulevard.
That's always nice.
Wait, what Boulevard?
Phil Braun Boulevard.
Congratulations, my buddy.
Where?
In Atlanta there?
Yeah, here in Atlanta.
We had a big ribbon cutting ceremony this morning.
Held up traffic for a little bit.
Cut the ribbon.
Let everybody through.
Just an exciting day.
I've been badgering the council for a long time to let them do this for me.
We finally did.
It's been on the radio all day today.
And I've just been listening to all the updates and things.
It's just been outstanding.
That's pretty cool.
Wow.
We got so many.
I hope what they did was they, I hope they took one of those peach tree streets
and turned
it into your name because there's about a 90.
Have you ever been to Atlanta?
No.
No.
It wasn't that.
It means your career's not going well because all the shows are shooting down
there.
So you've got to get on one of these Atlanta shows.
Yes.
Marvel movies.
It was some generic name.
It was like Smith Street or something.
It was like the Smith family said they didn't want to be named this street
anymore.
They came to me and said, do you want it?
And I said, yeah, absolutely.
I'll take it.
So a little confused.
You're badgering the city council about this, but then they come with the offer.
I mean, let's just get that clear.
Yeah.
Well, there's some, the Smith family, whoever it was named after before said,
we don't want
to be on this street anymore.
Can you take us off?
I get that.
I get that.
I guess they came to me and I didn't ask any questions.
But city council still said, no, not you.
Then you had to badger them.
Then you had to go.
The whole thing is falling apart.
They relented.
I was going to tune in just on the radio to see if they had any, anything going
on right
now.
If y'all want to let them.
All right.
Let's go to tune it in here a little bit.
Oh, it's a beautiful day.
And the mayor has declared a new