Name: Office Hours Watches Club Random (Best of Office Hours)
Uploaded: 2022-09-08T20:23:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Office Hours Watches Club Random (Best of Office Hours)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Office Hours Watches Club Random (Best of Office Hours)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-08. Transcript available.

Bill Maher's got everybody captive. He must have dirt on all these guys. I don't
know if he can get
any more dirt on Jeff Ross than there he already is. So that's how he gets them
down there? He's
got the dirt? They have to do his podcast. Ross, I need you for my podcast. I
don't know, but
yeah, you're coming down the basin or the tapes get released. All right. Click.
So watch this
disaster of chemistry. I mean, one thing that I think this show excels at is
chemistry.
We're hitting it off. Of course, me and the boys love each other very much.
Jack and Kyle
last week, we were just zinging. It was on fire. This is a dud. Like, where do
you see these
two try to interact? Bill Maher fucking sabotages everything poor Jeff Ross has
to say. He throws
them under the bus and just watch. You want some dope? You seem a little low-key.
I'll smoke
some pot. Or maybe you've had a lot of pot. Not yet, but let's take a hit of
this joint.
It's not pot. It's a clove cigarette.
Okay, well, sorry.
You introed it as pot.
I know. Like, what the fuck, man?
It's like an improv scene in, like, the office.
You're barking down my neck. First of all, who, what man, grown man smokes
clothes?
All right, keep going.
A pot.
Oh.
Oh, I see. You know, this, we're in California. We're on the air in lots of
states.
All right, I'm sorry. You just offered me pot.
You offered me pot.
Wait, it's illegal to smoke on the air in states.
In other states.
I like how he calls it dope.
I know.
You know, some dope?
He wants to smoke some dope.
Can you imagine somebody says, do you want something? And then you go, sure, I'll
have some.
Well, that's not what this is, idiot.
You guys offer me coffee, I'll take some. Well, tough luck. That's whiskey,
bitch.
Okay? Okay?
Jeez, should I go? I don't really want to be here.
I don't have to be here. I can go.
He looks so worn out.
He looks so worn out.
You can see his body language. He's like, what do I do?
He's so tired.
He's like, oh, that's, oh, okay. He's like, I see.
I smoked it on the show, real pot, before it was legal, even in California.
One night.
Okay.
And that's when I knew that the jig was kind of up with pretending that we are
a country that can live with prohibition.
Because people called me. I remember Larry David called me the next day.
Poor Jeff Ross. He's like, well, should I just do some observations, some
material here?
And he brings up this idea. He's like, I would like that the gun states and the
pot states would go after.
And then Bill Maher immediately fucking shits on it.
People are like, you know, are you sure you're not going to get arrested?
It was like 10 years ago or something.
And I was like, I doubt it. But you know, if, if they do.
And that's the attitude I've taken ever since then.
And that's the attitude I've taken ever since then.
And I think it's.
But you haven't, because you don't have it.
One day the gun states will attack the pot states because it seems like they're
not the same states necessarily.
Oh, I don't know about that.
He's trying to set up a joke.
I don't think so.
I'm not feeling very welcome here, Bill.
You asked me here and I'm setting up an idea to maybe add some, some
entertainment to this mess.
No, I don't think so.
No, wrong.
Six back, wrong, uh-uh.
All right, then he comes, then they start talking about guns.
I don't have any guns.
You're not?
Okay.
I don't have any guns.
Why?
Why?
I can't.
You mean why?
Also, he hasn't offered him the weed.
He's been, he's taken like six blocks.
No, no.
It's not weed.
It's a fucking clove.
The clove, the clove.
No, I don't want your clove.
Yes, I would, clove.
Easy.
I don't even know what a clove is.
It's, it's, yeah.
Um, I'm just afraid, I'm just afraid it'll get turned on me somehow.
Oh, well, that's such a bad attitude.
Oh, fuck you.
You're the one with a bad attitude, Bill.
Don't fucking bring this guy down to your room.
I'm such a bad attitude.
You're rapist's basement.
Imagine, oh my God.
You know, what God, what, what?
It's like unfinished too, like the wood isn't even, it's like, yeah.
So much fucking neon and, oh my God.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Is my strike two with you or is it strike three because of the pot that I
thought you were offering me?
Such a bad attitude.
Because, you know, you're letting the worst possible event guided by the,
actions of the least capable people guide what you want to do.
That's sort of the same argument they very often use about drugs.
We can't have drugs because people will OD.
Yes.
Some people will, but we couldn't have any.
We shouldn't organize life around what the least capable, stupidest people do.
It's like, are you my dad?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Am I in trouble?
Like, am I grounded now?
Cause like, I blew it on this?
Yeah.
I shared my opinion about not wanting to have a gun.
I don't know.
I don't want guns.
Jesus Christ.
There could be an accident.
Can I get another drink?
Can I go?
It's 9:00 AM.
But yeah.
Oh man.
Look at that face.
Look at that.
Oh my God.
Oh man.
He's like, can I borrow your gun?
I need to shoot myself in the head.
I need to get out of here.
Oh, this isn't a gun.
This is a squirt gun.
It's not pot, it's a clove cigarette.