Name: Eric Bauza, Money Mark (Office Hours Live Ep 221)
Uploaded: 2022-09-22T19:19:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Eric Bauza, Money Mark (Office Hours Live Ep 221)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Eric Bauza, Money Mark (Office Hours Live Ep 221)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-22. Transcript available.

Eric Bauza, Money Mark (Office Hours Live Ep 221)

I like having fun. I like to laugh. I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
Good morning, everybody!
I like having fun.
Welcome to Office Hours.
It's me, Tim Heidecker, turning my reverb off.
We're having a little jam session here.
I put some beautiful reverb on.
I'm swinging. I'm smiling.
I'm ready for the show like I've never been ready before.
I'm telling you, total 100% preparation went into this today.
We rehearsed like hell.
Last night we rehearsed from, I'll tell you, 6 o'clock p.m. till 2 a.m.
Running every beat, running every cue, running every joke, running every...
Not really running every... Let's take it back.
Not really running any... All the calls, of course.
That is still going to be sort of improvised, ad-libbed.
A lot.
But I thought we made great progress last night.
Tired as hell!
That's right. We're tired as hell.
Good morning.
And then we met here at 6 this morning to do it again,
to run it with full dress and lights and cameras and stuff.
I think it's going to pay off.
It went well the second time, so third time's a charm, as they say.
Well, I think...
Last night went good.
A lot of big changes at the last minute, but now we're locked in.
I'm going to do a great show.
I can feel it already.
That was not rehearsed.
I didn't do that last night.
I opened it before we started.
And we didn't do it this morning either.
That was already open.
I'm ad-libbing.
This is what I should not be doing.
I guess we should have ran it four times.
Do you want to start at the top?
I don't want to start at the top.
We've got to plow through, okay?
Good work.
How do you want to...
I mean, going forward, I'll ask.
How do you want to do this?
By the script?
Like, do we want to put the hours of rehearsal in
and then let it all go to seed by the time we actually do the show?
Or do we want to actually stick to the rehearsal and the script?
Well, why are you doing this now?
I mean, we could have just stuck to the script in front of me.
Forget it.
Forget it.
We're going to riff it.
Matt, delete the script.
We're off book now.
And all that hard work...
I would have liked to have just been with my family last night
and gotten a reasonable rest.
Go to bed at 10, 1030.
But no, I'm down here running every cue.
For what?
Let's begin...
Jim Apple.
By wel...
By welcoming with open arms.
With arms wide open.
Back from the road, DJ Doug Pound is back.
Hey!
Doug.
Oh, I was going to have a new...
Oh, yeah, what's the...
I was going to have a new welcome phrase, but I don't have one.
It's okay.
Doug, well, Vic Berger's here as well.
Vic the Fourth, and Vic, you in the chat, you suggested a new catchphrase.
I have a new one.
Which we've got no replies from anybody.
Nobody cared about it, but let's see.
What sip, everybody?
Fail.
Hashtag fail.
What sip, everybody?
So, something everyone can do.
Take a sip if you got one.
What sip, everybody?
There it is.
The gang in the Zoom room.
Everyone's taking...
Somebody's shaking up their beverage.
I love it.
Sip away.
Sip away.
Sip away.
Captain Carlin, thank you for being here.
Thank you.
Apologies for my outburst last week.
I gave you a very hard time.
I still maintain my innocence, but it's good for the show, so I like it.
Well, don't...
Yeah, let's not look behind the curtain that much.
That's right.
People understand that I'm under a lot of pressure.
But here's the real exciting news for the show today.
We have not one, but we have two incredibly talented...
The talent in this room.
It's not like...
It's something like we haven't seen maybe in weeks.
I mean, you have to be honest when you say the guests that we've had, like Jack
Black, Kyle
Gass, Jay Weingarten.
No, no, no, no.
We have...
No, no, no, no.
All right, thank you.
Not only do we have money, Mark, here, legend, absolute legend, that we're
going to...
I mean, you're...
Wait, did Jack Black have to rehearse the night before, Sue?
I think he's a little bit...
He's locked in.
I don't think that guy does much rehearsal.
You're going to be playing music.
You're telling stories.
It's an honor to be here.
Thank you.
Next to money, Mark, we have Eric Bauza.
Who's Eric Bauza?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Eric Bauza is...
I don't know.
Like you said, you had Tenacious D on, and then you went from the D to all the...
Like, below...
No.
I like the song you play at a bar when you want people to leave.
No, no, no.
Here's what's beautiful about the two of you being here, is absolute,
tremendous, 100% level
talent, but also kind of behind the scenes, and people not out there in the
front like Jack
Black is, and people like this, or me.
You don't need the limelight.
You don't need the adoration.
You're in the back making things great by what you do.
They're kind of like me and Vic.
We're in the back.
A little bit.
Making things great.
No, Eric, you are the voice of many, many of our most beloved cartoonish
characters.
I'm the cartoonish boink.
And that's right, Doc.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks.
And that's it.
Now, which one was that?
That was Bugs Duck and Daffy Bunny.
We'll do them all.
We'll do them all today.
We're going to get them all.
You know what?
You got a request for Eric?
Call in.
Let's do it.
You want to hear your favorite cartoon character make election predictions for
2022?
Let's hear it.
Now, that's Joe Biden.
Yeah.
Don't sleep on Sleepy Joe.
But I'm Canadian, so I can't vote.
So that's the other side of it.
Do you know any of the Stooges, by any chance?
Yeah, like Larry.
Oh!
Larry Fine.
Right.
I can't take credit for that impression.
The Billy West.
You're doing an impression of Billy West.
An impression of Billy doing, you know, he's a code cracker, I like to call him.
So much more.
Let me get to just a little bit of...
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Trying to turn that off.
Code cracking over there?
By the way, I don't think I've ever brought this out on the show,
but I do have a deck of the Oblique Strategies.
Do you know what the Oblique Strategies is, Eric?
No.
I know you know what it is, because you are a studio rat.
I think I have an original deck of those.
Well, I don't have it.
This is a reprint.
Let's try it.
If you don't know...
Oblique Strategies.
Oblique Strategies.
It's a little George Takai.
I'll tell the George story later.
I got a good one.
Oh, great.
Tim, those are tarot cards for music nerds, right?
If that's the way you want to see it, I don't know.
I don't know.
Pull a card.
I'll see what it says.
This was invented by and written by Brian Eno and somebody, Peter Schmidt.
I don't know if Peter Schmidt.
Jordan Peterson.
Can I get a fucking slice?
These are random prompts, sentences, so that when you are stuck or you're
looking for inspiration
or you're...
Yeah, those are the two things, really.
You're in a...
I can use synonym-type phrases, but you understand what I'm saying.
You pull one of these boys out.
Or if you're doing a show and you don't know where you're going.
Yeah, and they're just seemingly random pieces of advice or suggestions.
Oh, interesting.
It's a little wild background.
I don't know how we're going to make this apply, but we have make it more sensual.
Oh.
Mark, can you give us a little something sensual there?
I'm looking for love, but it ain't coming around these days.
I'm looking to stick my prick.
Yeah, it's someone new.
Anyways.
I don't know how sensual that is.
What about some kind...
Oh, that's nice.
Your body.
I'm going to say a phrase, and then you repeat it in a different...
All right.
Your body.
Your body.
Is a wonderland.
Is a wonderland.
Oh, wow.
You know, these Canadians, they come over the border,
and they take all the jobs.
You know, we've got to build a wall around Canada.
French fries, cheese, and gravy.
I believe they call it Putin.
Oh.
It's the food they like.
And I could have Putin in my mouth all day.
Oh.
Make it sensual.
Bing.
Boom.
Make it sensual.
Boom.
Give me a bang.
What?
Would you ever wish to be the Dodgers stadium organist?
I would love to do that.
Is it he or she?
I don't know who it is, but...
I think it's a he right now.
I don't know.
It was a woman for a long time.
But every stadium has it, but Dodgers, yeah.
The Dodgers person is so good.
The little references and the little, you know, very, very clever.
So quick.
No, of course not.
Yeah.
I love all the Nirvana stuff.
They do Nirvana?
I think I've heard Nirvana.
They do it all.
Can you play like...
Dieter Ruhl.
...team spirit riff, like on the...
I don't know.
Can you give me a taste of it?
I've never tried it.
I'll figure it out.
Oh, we should have ran that on rehearsal, so...
Oh, yeah, last night.
Now listen.
Now quiet.
Quiet, you.
Give me a little...
Quiet, you.
Duet.
Duet coming.
I thought you were going into a foghorn.
Like, I said, quiet, sir.
Now, now, here's the thing.
Now, pay attention, son.
The sensuality thing is going away.
Southern accents.
Yeah.
It killed a vibe.
I could do some voices, too, you know.
I know.
I just went a different direction with my career.
Now, here's the thing.
All right, let's do the monologue of the day.
Can I get a little Tonight Show, please?
From who?
Whoever's got it.
You guys seem pretty quick on the trigger back there.
Broadcasting live from Glendale, California,
it's Office Hours Live.
Oh, hey, everybody.
A lot of stuff going on in the news today.
Apparently, I guess you saw this.
Biden said the pandemic was over.
Yeah, pandemic's over.
I think there might have been a little confusion, though.
There was a movie screening of a new movie coming out last night,
and I think he was watching Don't Worry, Darling.
All right, moving on.
The fundamental misunderstanding of the premise of that joke by people in this
room earlier in the show.
But I'm not going to dwell on it.
You guys can do your own research.
I still don't understand it, but...
Don't worry, don't worry, darling.
Yeah, don't worry.
Eric gets it.
He's astute.
I just don't think Biden's much of a darling.
That's a...
Oh, well, that's his nickname in the Senate, Darling Joe.
Wow, I had no idea.
It's a Washington darling.
There it is.
That drummer feels like he's...
He's late to start the show.
No, we're going!
We're going!
Like he only gets the last two and the four.
It's not like one, two, three, four.
It's just...
They just jump right in.
Whoa, whoa.
Okay.
What's that?
I have a lot of different...
You just shut down his concept of that joke.
Oh, what did I do?
The drummer was just putting down his ball.
Inch by inch.
Sorry, sorry.
Inch by inch, Vic is moving closer and closer to the moment where he will
physically kill me.
He's trying to do it through...
I was...
Body blows and little things here, but...
We're going to get to that day soon enough.
I honestly don't know what I did.
I don't either.
It's building it?
You can feel it in the room, right?
Yeah.
The tension is bubbling.
I blew it.
Big time.
Ew, stinky!
Let's do the city of the day because these guys are here.
I don't want to give them a ton of time to get...
Mark brought all these great toys with him.
We're going to have toy time.
I think you brought some toys.
I did bring toys.
Different kinds of toys.
And I noticed I think your toys match my shoes.
Yeah, I'll give you this afterwards.
You can have this.
Mark's got his...
My keyboard.
He's got his Casio.
He's got a Leslie speaker back there.
Is this showing now?
Is this showing?
Yeah.
That, what would you call that?
That's like a toy, right?
It's a keyboard.
Foot pedal.
Unbelievable.
It's not doing anything at the moment, but we look forward to it doing
something.
Yeah, yeah.
It's going to...
It'll come on.
I'm stuttering like Porky Fish.
Well, the money mark.
He's here.
Wow.
Wow.
I always am fascinated by the process by which things come to be what they are.
And I wonder how much back in that original Warner Brothers, Mel Blanc era, how
much discussion
ever even happened with any of these characters?
Like, was it sort of just like first run or was there like meetings about it
and like...
I don't know if Daffy would talk like that, do you think?
Right.
I think it'