Name: Chelsea Peretti, Delicate Steve (Office Hours Live Ep 227)
Uploaded: 2022-11-03T19:15:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chelsea Peretti, Delicate Steve (Office Hours Live Ep 227)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chelsea Peretti, Delicate Steve (Office Hours Live Ep 227)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-03. Transcript available.

Chelsea Peretti, Delicate Steve (Office Hours Live Ep 227)

is everybody happy i like having fun we're gonna have some fun why not let's
have fun
this morning all right let's have a little bit of fun this morning good morning
everybody
okay the clap's happening this is exciting
on the two on the two now this is exciting doug lucenhoff dj doug pound himself
has done this
beautiful remix combining the much more popular uh i like having fun with the
new
and vic also took a pass at it but i only spent like 25 minutes on this thing
i knew it was gonna be canned by tim it was bad you were nice about it you said
aha i like it
i'm a very nice person um but let me just begin the show by saying it is thursday
we are in the
month of november already holy cow november 3rd you look so disappointed
already chelsea peretti looks
it is our guest is our esteemed guest chelsea peretti sitting over there in the
guest chair
uh just immediately it gives me a cringe look well i couldn't tell like are you
really saying what
month it is like is that genuine it's how do you begin you gotta start
somewhere always say the month
november isn't it this show is mostly about filling the air with just getting
to the end we're far out of
october yeah well not just just getting in there i tell you what i tell you
something i tell you
what aren't you glad halloween's over oh right oh so spooky at your house with
that master of horror oh my
gosh it must be all all october it's terrifying it's absolutely terrifying you're
ghouls and goblins
everywhere all month gabagool and i just you know what i have this uh week the
kids decorate the house
with the assistance of my wife i'm out of that picture your wife's assistant my
wife's assistants
come team of assistants come and set the house up for halloween and we've got
this one little thing
that's like this little goblin goblin there you go this is a cool uh cool tone
yeah i know but she
we have this little thing that sits at our doorstep that when you pass it it
triggers a voice oh come
do you know be weary travelers that kind of thing like a ghoul that yeah and
every time i leave the
house i get hit with this oh i wasn't always dead like this really poorly
written comedy like almost
a guilt trip yeah and i can't wait to throw that thing in the trash every day i
come home it just
triggers me should do it at the end of the show maybe let's bring it and smash
it with a hammer
no hammer talk you know what i'm talking about are you related oh yes yes that's
my great aunt
and then her husband is my play cousin
yeah it's an uncanny um coincidence what's a is a play cousin not a like you're
not related but you
just play yeah good breakdown all right well let's begin the show again the
month is november
the day is three uh chelsea peretti is here and let me just um acknowledge
something that i don't
think i've ever acknowledged before and i certainly haven't done it with you my
audience i don't think
so either this the inspiration for this show that we're doing right now for the
show itself for office
hours live if you want to trace the origins we're looking at you she's shocked
zoom in punch in punch
in and i'll tell you why you used to have a very uh under known is that
something somebody said uh
unpopular no uh i wouldn't put this if you're mean yeah uh no a very successful
podcast called call
chelsea yeah and you invited me over to be a guest and hang out with you and
take calls i had so much
fun doing that with you that i said i'm gonna take that idea and run with it
and actually build a show
yeah right yeah and do it right right but no that was truly i was so fun to
just take calls and riff
and it's so easy i've thought about starting it back up we need it and if you
need its production
assistance i want this whole team yeah you can anytime you want a guest host
for me i'll stay
upstairs and catch up on emails speaking of yes i'm gonna take you take you to
the woodshed for a second here
that's terrifying threatening doug get my axe
i don't know emails matt sends you an email let's reply let's get let's do a
received please is this
a thing yeah okay wow email email text is better mail you got mail you're in
the hot text is better than
email yeah i gotta weigh in on that do you get swamped with emails i do in fact
i don't i i didn't check
your email okay so like what's the last email you got um the last email i got
was from elizabeth warren
that's what i'm saying listen never donate to anything i know okay now also um
you're one of these libs
i'm a libs uh but listen in my inbox guess how many emails okay let's do it let's
get a caller in
to guess yeah let's get a call because now we're now we're cooking i have a lot
too i wonder if you
i didn't know people delete their emails constantly like i use them to search
for things yeah you can
still search in your uh well let's let's get a guess here you want to guess
yeah matt who's got a
guess kim can you take a guess um welcome to the show kim you're speaking with
tim heidecker chelsea
peretti and the rest hi um over a thousand mail a thousand kim kim come on kim
work with me here
what's the under over on that is that something people say i don't even know i
don't know what
how to answer that kind of question should i tell what how many it is or do we
get it i think we
keep it going the whole show okay that's good that's good keep the tension it's
a that's a a runner
yeah um thank you i have a lot do you want me to tell you how many i have sure
yeah that's a good
comparison point uh 1386 unread unread yeah i got i can i can top that uh unread
4002 oh my god wow
4002 yeah sometimes i have to sit there for like a half an hour and just going
through them and like
unsubscribing but then new one every time i buy a a coffee i'm on their list
for a coffee shop and then
they send me their shit you want a cup we have some i would actually do you
mind it being just black
coffee no olivia oh my god cancel that coffee wait how do you see your unread i
can't even i don't know
it's just the black well and if you have gmail stop doug
thank you so much thank you olivia olivia thank you olivia you're a rock star
you're a badass
i hate both those i wish you were in the new season of uh of flying of uh
flying lotus no uh
white lotus i would die to be on that show why aren't you on that show thanks
tim i think you'd be you'd
fit in nicely rep me you could rep me i'm starting the i'm starting a campaign
and it's about reshooting
artists should rep each other absolutely we know what each other are good at
sometimes i don't feel
like people have my back the way they should oh i'm sorry i get a lot of
private messages of support
really i went through a big are you running for office at some point i will um
i feel like everyone
feels that way right like any sensitive creative person you're just like no one
likes me i have
that mantra like no one likes you think you don't have you think you don't have
people to have your
back well i got you two oh i know what good does that do you just call them and
the rest fall back
we'll catch you you know we're here for you like let me just let me first of
all segue because i don't
know either i don't know if you follow this news or not this uh controversy
that i created for myself
this week uh i'm looking right now uh under what's happening category of
twitter first thing first
thing is still up there says images image of headline attributed to cnn falsely
reporting trump's death
is fabricated fact checkers report that one hurts but that one hurts this all
began uh boy a couple days
ago isn't it funny that cnn still exists i know when you look at that site it's
like a click bait
site it's like one of those like uh no they've fully thrown in the towel like i
feel like when i was a
kid that was like the reputable place yeah now it's just like videos yeah let's
see like if i go to cnn
i mean they probably made that fake trump death headline if you scroll down
like halfway through the page
you get this like uh you know here's how to get a free sandwich on national
sandwich day you know
like crap like that can you imagine trying to follow through on that
we should try to go get free yeah let's do that actually let's click this link
it's going to take
me to another site no it's actually takes me to subway yeah uh national
sandwich day has chain
serving up sandwiches sandwich deals today all right who can resist a sandwich
especially if it's free
right um that means it's time to i don't know this goes on and on what's your
favorite sandwich oh good
question i love panera bread i like their bread so what i do is i get panera
bread is like at the
bottom of the list that's like in the burger king it's like burger king when we
when we did brooklyn
well i shouldn't tell this story but please we're not on the air let's take a
break we'll be right
back now give me the goods we're gonna take a short break here's an ad from
just for men
you can say it without uh naming names how about that are you gonna shut me
down you're gonna no no i
just i just i'm trying to think if this is bad to say or not you know this is
why i don't do podcasts
it's too dangerous you have a lot of i don't say skeletons in the closet but
you've got a lot of
please get me out of here
you've got a lot of skeletons let's open up
have you ever done mark maron's podcast yeah but years ago yeah yeah
so if you want to get into the if you want to get deep with chelsea you could
go look back at that
that no please did you keep it light with him though you don't remember i
really was blindsided
because like he was asking me so much personal stuff and like i was like oh i
forgot to be like
i don't want to talk about it but i guess you have to on that you can always
say no you could always
talk about your career clamp it down how's your toe how's your toe is your back
all right oh they've
got all these mark maron drops how's that thing on your neck how's your finger
who's he talking to
whose toe was hurt is your kid all right all right it's all right quiet got
nothing back quiet seriously
nothing matters do you understand oh my god all right listen i forgot to do
something um we're
to drastically bring the show down here um we're dedicating today's show to
will wittenberg who passed
away he's a big fan of the show passed away we don't know anything else moment
of silence
all right that was a request man you don't know this guy nowhere but i mean was
that real it was real see
that's my problem
i mean if i'm will's family i'm like i know that guy yeah that's like that's a
memorial you might as
a skip because it makes the family hate you i know they're not watching what do
you want me to do
i believe i could fly i believe i was singing r kelly's song that's it that's
ours now that's not
an r kelly song i feel like we own that song interesting it becomes public
domain if you're
imprisoned i think so what about the boys to men song that was also good for
funerals and stuff um
i don't remember it being like so nasally
excuse me i'm doing my interpretation i'm not trying to wait what's the tone
what's the tone am i
supposed to be really heartfelt here or just on the show in general you with
jokes yes oh
definitely okay be funny okay all right i'm gonna try for once i hate the woke
from my balls
that's bill maher you ever do real time that's bill maher i thought that was diced
he's turning into bill maher starts showing up to that show with like a leather
jacket
i feel like he just stones throw he's ready i couldn't believe he had a kid
rock on you have
a clip of that he said bill maher to quote bill maher fantastic new album he
says
talk about it talk about like a psa for no more weed start smoking that ganja
you're gonna start
liking kid rock i guess anyway carson daily had a great kid rock years ago
really no
well wait jesus christ man
what do you think you want to see the other day to mortar you i feel bad about
the will thing oh do
it again do it again do it again he was a big he was a big he was a big we didn't
do any 