Name: Atsuko Okatsuka (Office Hours Live Ep 234)
Uploaded: 2023-01-12T20:30:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Atsuko Okatsuka (Office Hours Live Ep 234)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Atsuko Okatsuka (Office Hours Live Ep 234)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-12. Transcript available.

Atsuko Okatsuka (Office Hours Live Ep 234)

I'll see you next time.
I'll see you next time.
Good morning, everybody!
It is, let's see, January 12th.
It's 10 a.m.
The weather is crisp and cool.
Listen, I wanted to start the show today to just acknowledge these Andrew Callaghan
allegations.
I've asked Doug and Vic to step out because I didn't want them sitting behind
me, not knowing what to do, not knowing where to look.
But I also want to apologize for not speaking about this, for any of us
speaking about this.
I think, you know, we, you know, it's been a very painful week for us and a
very difficult experience to process it.
And we didn't want to just rush out and say something that felt insincere or,
you know, kind of like a crisis person told us what to say kind of thing.
I don't think that I don't think that's helpful.
And we just want to wrap our heads around it and talk about it and try to
understand it more.
But, of course, we're aware of the allegations, we take them very seriously,
and it's just been very sad and just, you know, disappointing, to say the least.
I just want to clarify a couple things.
We, you know, have no professional relationship with Andrew at this time and
have no plans going forward to have any, any, any,
relationship with him.
Our role with him is we produced the film that a lot of you guys have seen.
You know, there's been a little confusion about the Channel 5 name.
That's Andrew's name, Channel 5.
It has nothing to do with Eric and I's Channel 5 name.
That was a bit of confusion for, for us as well.
But we did produce the movie, you know, and I feel,
terrible that this film now has these allegations tied to it and because some
very good people worked very hard on it.
But it's just a movie and I want to say that we believe these women that came
forward and,
and of course, totally condemn the type of behavior that Andrew's being accused
of.
And I, I believe that's up to Andrew to address these allegations and do so
openly and honestly.
And I, I really, I really hope he does, you know, do that as soon as possible.
And that's really all I have to say about it, uh, right now.
Um, I'm not going to be, we're not going to talk about it during the show.
That's why we didn't start with the opening.
That's why, uh, Vic and Doug aren't here.
I'm going to try to, as Vic says, put this, uh, put these negative thoughts and
acknowledge them and,
and try to, uh, try to have fun and, and, you know, know that this is something
that Andrew has to, has to, has to address.
Um, I just also finally want to say, um, you know, I have a daughter and as I
read about this stuff and learn about this stuff,
the last thing in the world that I'd want to, uh, have happened is, is, is, uh,
you know, what's been, what's been talked about in this, uh, with these
allegations.
And I have a son and I want to make sure that as we raise him, my wife and I
raise him, that we raise him to understand and respect, uh, women and grow up
to be a good and honorable person.
And, uh, finally, I just wish, you know, peace and love for everybody involved.
It's a terrible situation, uh, but it's, it's happening, you know, in real time
and we're trying to process it like everybody else is.
So that's all I have to say.
Thank you guys for listening and understanding where we're at.
I know I'm a bit emotional about it because it's just been very, uh, difficult
and, uh, but I'm going to shake it off and we're going to start the show.
Thank you, everybody.
Let's start the show, boys.
Okie dokie!
Good morning!
Good morning again.
Good morning again.
We've got a great show.
We've got, um, Atsuko coming in.
Tremendous stand-up talent.
And, uh, one of the, one of the, it's going to be an honor.
She's running a little late.
She's here.
Oh, she is.
I think, I just saw her come in.
Well, let's invite her in.
Is my, are my drops up?
My drops are muted.
Come on, guys.
Drops up.
We can't have the show without drops.
There we go.
Good morning!
Good morning to you.
Good morning to you.
I didn't sleep at all.
Glad to be here.
Glad to be here.
I've looked at the darkest things I could possibly find.
How are you doing?
How are you guys doing?
For a long, long time.
Long, long, long.
Let's talk, let's, let's, let's throw it, throw it to Vic for his weather
update.
How did, oh boy.
We had a tremendous amount of rain the past few days in Southern California.
It was a big national news.
That I've seen since I've been here.
Yeah.
And, you had some flooding.
Let's just get that out of the way.
The past three days, I've been cleaning up water.
I had like three inches of water in the bedroom, a lot of towels.
Sure, it wasn't piss?
Well, I mean, I'm not saying there wasn't piss, but they got pretty wet.
Everything got wet, and now I'm in the process of running the heat and fans and
dehumidifiers
and just really drying the hell out of the place, so that's what's happening
there.
But I took a walk yesterday for the first time down to the LA River.
Do you know about this?
Like the drainage area?
I love going to the river when it's raining, because it's crazy.
Yeah.
I mean, it's like a...
It was a, it was like the Colorado River down there.
Yeah, it's crazy.
It's like...
It was the Mississippi!
But it's cool.
I took Rosie down, and the water's just draining out, and you can just walk
level with it.
It's kind of interesting, kind of worth coming to LA for, I must say.
Well, can we bring in, Doug, your rain experience?
Is it normal?
Pretty normal, yeah.
Atsuka!
Hello!
Oh my God!
Can I look?
Can I...
You sit right here.
Oh yes, hi.
How are we going to do without men?
How's it going?
It's going great, I can tell you that.
Yeah.
You're getting plugged in.
Thank you for being here.
What are we going to do without chips?
Thank you for having me.
I love chips.
You need to just settle in, don't you?
Yeah, no.
I don't even think you have a microphone on.
Is she mic'd?
I think I am.
I think I hear something there.
There it is.
Yeah.
Should I speak like this?
No, I think you sound great.
I think you sound great.
Yay.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
I'm sorry we didn't get to meet beforehand.
No, no.
I'm always...
I'm always...
I'm always, like, barely making it,
and so I apologize for just getting...
You run late, generally?
Yeah, I'm trying to fix that, you know?
Why do you think that is?
Do you think that you have a certain selfish disrespect for other people?
Oh, that or blind optimism?
We're going right in on this.
Blind optimism came to mind,
and then you said something so different.
Yeah.
No, no.
It's probably both.
No, I have...
I despise tardiness.
Oh, yeah.
I think it's disgusting.
I feel like I'm back in school.
Yeah, I know.
You're in trouble.
Mr. Principal.
Do we want to just take a zoom real quick?
Nice.
Or not?
All right.
PFR, you are on.
PFR, what's this, though?
I hear a slapback, boys.
I can't think of anything else I want to hear.
How do I get it to be quiet?
And by the way, let me acknowledge
our old intern, Alec,
is in the Matt chairs.
Good morning, guys.
And let me say something to you.
It is good to have you.
Good to be back.
Yeah.
Matt Carlin is perhaps never coming back.
He's in Australia.
Still staring at kangaroo balls.
Never.
Well, he's staying far away.
Far away.
Barely hear from him in the text chain.
He's taken off.
Oh, we have a zoomer.
Hey, sir, with the glasses.
Hi, sorry.
I was trying to figure out
how to turn the slap back off,
but I don't know if it worked.
No, it's not on you.
It's never on you.
Okay.
Good to talk to you again, boys.
Otsuko, I am a newer fan,
but a pretty big one.
I loved your stand-up special.
I followed you on Twitter.
Just a triumph.
Really, really great.
Oh, that's so sweet.
Thank you.
Based on a part of your stand-up,
I wanted to ask the Trinity a question.
Oh, boy.
Otsuko mentions that she stands
in a certain corner of her apartment
just because, you know, she pays for it.
So I'm wondering, after watching her special,
where do each of you,
Tim, Doug, and Vic,
stand in your homes
just to appreciate the fact
that you pay for it?
Vic stands in his flooded garage.
I do, I do.
You know what I did?
The flood forced me to move my desk
where I work
into the center of the room,
and after I dried the whole thing out,
I just decided to stay there.
So now I'm, like,
in the center of the room,
and there's this empty area across from me.
Like, who cares?
I'm the only one who sees it.
You got some depth.
You were forced to feng shui.
Exactly.
So now I'm enjoying it.
So let me understand this.
Where do we stand in our homes
to appreciate that we live there?
Otsuko has a bit
where she talks about,
right, Otsuko,
where you just, like,
stand in a corner of one room
and just revel in the fact
that you pay for that corner,
so you're trying to get, like,
as much use out of the space
as you can.
Right, yeah.
So I'm wondering,
Oh, I see.
Doug, Tim, and Vic,
is there a space in your home
that you're like,
I'm going to just occupy this
for a moment
just because I can't?
I stand in my toilet.
Stand in it.
Stand in it.
I would say I have a small room
in our home
that is currently
just piled with junk
and stuff.
We're trying to figure out
what to do.
And it would be a great room
to sit in and work.
Yeah, just to be, like,
like a day room or something
or, like, a little,
not even an office,
just, like, a couch.
I could sit in there.
And it hasn't happened
in years.
I have some outdoor,
outdoor spaces.
Excuse me!
You said it hasn't happened
in years,
end of sentence.
No.
Then I come in.
I, uh...
I heard both of you.
Look, I hear all of you.
Okay?
I acknowledge
every single one of you.
I'm looking at all
five of you right now,
including you.
I am so pleased
that I don't have,
I don't have to,
um,
I don't have to deal with,
uh...
Not being heard.
With looking at Doug.
Oh, with looking at Doug.
I'm making a good point.
Um...
Unbelievable!
Those are good spots.
Those are good spots.
I spend such a ridiculous,
you know,
a ridiculous amount of time,
uh,
lying in bed.
Mm-hmm.
I want to talk to more
creative people about this.
When you're not,
you work at night a lot
because you're doing stand-up.
Mm-hmm.
Um,
and my bed is the most
comfortable place
for me to be.
Sure.
Um,
like,
what's the difference
between sitting in my bed
and sitting on a chair?
Except,
some...
Except you fart more
when you're in bed.
Yeah.
So,
I end up just like
propped up sitting on my bed.
If I'm texting with you
or writing something
or doing phone calls,
what the hell
am I supposed...
Where am I gonna...
So,
am I gonna go sit in a chair?
I mean,
well,
that chair you paid for.
I think with the joke,
it's more like
all these dollars
that are just sitting empty
that you haven't touched
in a while.
When was the last time
you touched your ceiling?
That's like...
We have a beautiful...
However much money.
We have a beautiful home.
Yeah.
Um,
but aside from the bed,
all the seating in our homes
are metal folding chairs.
Oh.
Right.
It's just a choice you made.
That's still...
That's still money.
Metal is money.
Metal is money.
That's our quote for the day.
Uh-huh.
I go up to the...
I have a little attic
that you just like,
you know,
move this little door
and you go up
and you can't really stand it
or really even be in it.
But I always like dream
of being like a Chevy Chase
and like Christmas Vacation,
like going through...
Oh, going through an app.
Films and stuff like that.
Remember that movie
he puts on all the old...
He puts on the old makeup?
Yeah.
Then he falls and he crashes through.
He puts on the makeup
and he looks...
Yeah, he puts...
I don't know.
That's...
Puts on the makeup?
I think that there could be more
out of the house.
Well, that is a...
You know what?
Let me just acknowledge the Zoomer
and say what a great question.
Very good question.
I have a rat that was utilizing
the unused spaces in my house.
A rat?
Yes.
A rat.
That's what...
Yeah, I think that's also
a part of like my philosophy.
If there's a spider, a rat,
let it be there, you know?
Every...
I have a spider,