Name: John Early, Marc Summers, Margo Price (Office Hours Live Ep 238)
Uploaded: 2023-02-09T20:34:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'John Early, Marc Summers, Margo Price (Office Hours Live Ep 238)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'John Early, Marc Summers, Margo Price (Office Hours Live Ep 238)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-09. Transcript available.

John Early, Marc Summers, Margo Price (Office Hours Live Ep 238)

We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
I'll be right back.
Another wonderful Thursday morning plan for you here February 9th at 10 a.m.
This is just a gorgeous, gorgeous, beautiful day.
I can't tell you folks, this week it's been really the skies, the gray skies
are going to clear up without a happy face because it's lovely out.
A little chilly, a little nippy in the morning.
Get my nipples tight and rock hard.
Well, we don't mind that.
Well, we don't mind that.
Then the afternoon comes, sun comes out.
Boy, oh boy, it's been nice.
We have got a packed show, so I'm not going to talk about the weather all
morning.
I want to welcome Mr. DJ Doug Pound.
Good morning.
And Mr. Dick-a-bur-bur.
None of our guests today, Mark Summers.
Can I introduce the guests?
Oh, yeah, sure.
Well, I have a new catchphrase.
Can you turn the music down real quick?
Oh, yeah, sure.
Nickelodeon.
Nickelodeon 2, Captain Carlin, Wes, everybody.
Luke.
Luke, I do not treat you as you are the early seasons of Gilligan's Island
where it was...
And the rest.
I'll say.
Poor Farmer's Daughter.
What's her name?
Mary Ann and the Doctor.
Didn't have time.
Some of the lyricists must be like,
I could cram in these names if you want instead of and the rest.
Go back.
We need to book another hour in the studio.
So, yes.
On the show today, we've got...
From Mork and Mindy.
Mork Summers.
No, sorry.
Mark.
Mark.
Mark Summers.
Mark Summers from my childhood.
Nah.
And you turn on the damn Food Network.
Goddamn guy's on there 24-7.
He's like the wolf blitzer of the Food Network.
Whoa.
Oh, that slime.
They cooking up slime?
Mm-hmm.
Bright and green.
And worldwide country music sensation
top artist of the year.
Top artist of the year.
Margot Price.
You're coming in to perform one of her number one smash singles.
That's top of the pops, folks.
And a little bit of business here before we get into the main show.
I'm jazzed today, right?
Am I talking too fast?
You're hopped up.
I love mine.
I took cocaine this morning.
Smoked it.
You ever smoke it?
I never tried smoking.
You can smoke it.
Yeah, yeah.
You put it on the tinfoil?
I have a...
I got a pipe.
You just put it on the pipe.
I got a pipe.
It's a rock.
It's like a little rock.
I like to smoke my tobacco on the tinfoil tea.
Okay.
I kind of put a little pipe in front of it.
Yeah, a little pipe.
Normally, I'd smoke weed in that, but I put a little rock, cocaine rock in
there.
Where'd you get yours at?
Cocaine?
Yeah.
Dark web, or what do you got?
You got a guy?
It's not a pot.
It's a clove cigarette.
Thank you, Bill.
Wake up!
No, I just had a second cup of joe.
Might as well.
Got a live show today going two hours, but if you're not watching live, please
join us
at patreon.com slash office hours live, where you'll find the second half of
the show and
so much more.
So much great gifts we provide.
The pleasure's all mine.
I want to give a, on a very serious note, we, today's super chats are all going
to the,
come on, Matt.
We don't know the pronoun, we just read it.
It's basically earthquake relief.
Basma and Zaytuna.
Thank you.
It's basically going to the terrible, unimaginable, incomprehensible, thank you.
Incomprehensible.
Incomprehensible major earthquake that happened in Syria and Turkey.
You understand what I'm saying?
No, would you please?
But listen, send us your money and we will send it to this organization.
And we'll match it.
We'll match it.
There you go.
Well, don't send too much, though.
Within reason.
It's awful.
I heard this woman on CN, on NPR this morning.
It just killed me.
It just killed me.
So terrible what's happening there.
I can't, I can't comprehend the numbers.
It's too much.
But we can do something.
We can all get together as a family here and do our best to help.
And so please do that.
What else do we have?
Other bad news in the world of music.
Not that the earthquake is in the world of music.
The Grammys happened.
No.
We lost our great Burt Bacharach.
Very sad.
Today.
Very bad.
Very bad for everybody.
My favorites.
I mean, you just can't overestimate or underestimate.
What can you do?
You can't underestimate the genius of this man.
The music.
Raindrops keep falling on my head.
Friend of a friend of the show, of course.
With Dionne Warwick.
Dionne, yes.
Friend of a friend of the show.
A little prip for me.
Whenever, whenever, until when I do.
Shit, man.
That guy was a legend.
I heard another.
I'm listening to NPR, driving my kids to school.
I get all my news.
And they said, they're playing, what's the, what the world needs now is love,
sweet love.
And this woman goes, as she closed her segment on the passing of Burt Bacharach,
Burt Bacharach
had a lot of love in his life.
He was married four times.
That's a positive spin.
I know.
It's just, you know, a lot of heartbreak too, maybe.
I don't know.
I can't imagine.
I mean, I'm married once.
You have been married twice.
Easy now.
It was a four at once, though.
But four seemed, man, can you imagine going through four marriages?
Like, I guess I'm going, like, after two, maybe.
He'd just give up.
The guy's 94.
I mean, that's a long time ago.
You know, at 94, you got to probably rack up four.
I hope to someday get to four.
Well, we miss him.
Never got him on the show.
Isn't that a shame?
Some of these Mormons go through, like, 38 marriages, T.
Well, let's say hello to somebody out there in the world.
We can quickly say hello and good morning to you.
I know we have lots to get to today.
Come on in.
Somebody's here.
Is that our new Zoom?
It's a doorbell, yeah.
Is that our new?
No, it's in the studio.
Oh, somebody's in that day.
Somebody's in the house.
Whoa.
Oh, wait a minute.
Surprise guest.
Oh, my God.
He's going to break stuff.
Ow, what are you doing?
Ow.
Stump it.
Keep him away from me.
Get out of here.
Stop.
All right, sit down.
Tim.
Jesus.
Ow.
Why are you slapping everybody?
What?
What is, what's the matter?
I don't know.
What is, are you all right?
No.
You just keep flying in here.
Sorry.
Look at the dog is running.
He's never running away.
I've just had a really tough year.
It's only February.
It's February.
Nice.
Calm down.
What's the problem?
I don't know.
Hey, guys.
You are on tour.
I thought you were on tour.
I saw you were on tour.
Yeah, that's the problem.
Why are you here?
I don't.
Well, we did a kind of a rough show at the Casbah.
In the Casbah?
It was actually such a great show.
It was, but it was, but it was, but, um,
So it says you, if anybody's at the Casbah, call in to confirm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Actually, truly call it.
Yeah.
Um, no, it was good.
It was a kind of a rough, you know, pass at it.
And then we're at work this Sunday.
We're going to be in LA and then we're going up to Vancouver.
And then you've heard it here first, Seattle, and then Portland, and then San
Francisco.
So you have not announced the Seattle show.
Is that what you're saying?
Um, I'm sorry.
Yeah.
I fucked up there.
I loved you.
I love you, but I love, I love that.
Um, you're, if you're not following John early on Instagram, it is worth the
money.
I don't know, but he, uh, yeah, this, and I just felt for you because I've been
in this
situation so many times you booked these shows.
Everyone's very excited.
It settles out and then they're like, we got to out at a late show.
And then they, then it stalls total stuff.
So you're like, well, I just, everybody's coming to that first show are the
only people
that are coming to this show.
I know.
They've got the tickets.
I know.
And it's all up to us.
There's no advertising industry anymore.
It's just all, all up to the individual.
You just, it's, it's so undignified.
And then the, and then the algorithm crushes that stuff because they don't want
to you promoting.
I just want your pictures of the, of what you had for lunch, John, just
watching my algorithms
get crushed.
The likes on Twitter have been really, really, so go see John early, please.
I'm serious.
You guys, this is confusing though.
Don't, don't go to go see the John early late show, which is cute.
That is cute.
Actually.
Maybe I could work that into some of the promo materials.
How late is it?
10.
It's not too bad.
My fans don't have jobs.
Easy now.
Okay.
That's why they can't take it.
Your tickets are expensive though.
$3,000 in the late show.
I understand now you're like Bruce.
What do you think you're Bruce Springsteen?
We, are you, I'm sticking around.
Uh, yeah.
You're not able to go.
Well, I'm not going to be here the whole time, but, but the first hour, the
free hour.
Okay.
Uh, you know, there's Mark Summers.
I, I heard this.
You gotta stick in for that.
How did you guys land that he's, you pay baby, you pay 10 G's.
10 G's to have Mark Summers on the show.
Wow.
No, I don't know.
He's got a new show out and we are the top promotional, uh, we're like, go.
It's like doing Carson.
That's why I'm here.
It's like doing Rogan.
Yeah.
He's recording and then you do us.
That's what Margot Price, he was recording last night.
I was today.
She's Nashville, you know, Margot.
Yeah.
So you should, you should at least interface with her.
Is she going to be here in person or on Zoom?
Yeah.
She's going to be here in person?
Yeah.
She's going to play a song.
It's cool.
The second half, she'll play a song.
It's major.
Oh my God.
And I just have bad news for the Zoomers.
Boy, do I love you.
But how the hell am I going to take one of your calls today, is my question.
Let's take one quick, just so I can say, see, this, we have to keep moving.
Is my enemy, Danielle, my number one enemy on the, on the, the baby?
Oh, who's that?
I got a baby.
Oh, really?
Is this the baby?
Oh, yes.
This is my adventure.
I have my prediction.
Yeah.
This baby.
Look, I made him a shirt.
He's going to come and get me when he's older.
What?
Oh.
Look at that shirt.
I just know it.
Hey, you son of a bitch, you stay away from me.
You hear me?
Look at him.
What's his name again?
This was the.
Lucy.
Yeah.
Lucy.
As in Lucifer.
Lucy.
Lucifer.
Goddamn John really doesn't even put his damn headphones on.
He hasn't been hearing what we've been doing behind.
I know I didn't hear any of the cues.
That's the way it should be.
How are you, little Lucy?
Yes, it's me.
Don't you look at me like that, you son of a bitch.
I love you, daddy.
Wow.
You say hi.
I love my anime.
Look at that.
Look at that beautiful baby.
Matt, this is how we get ratings.
Son of a bitch.
No.
All right.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
I'll see you in my worst nightmare when you're 23 years old.
Look at him.
Her.
Oh, no.
Well, that's what I can't remember.
It's a boy, right?
It's a boy named Lucy.
The boy.
Cool name for a Netflix animated show.
Oh, look at Lucy.
Oh, look at Lucy.
Oh.
Lucy.
We love it.
You got some explaining to do.
Now, I want to bring something up with you, John.
Yeah.
Last time we saw each other together, I guess, is on the Tom Sharpling show
that I guested.
Yeah.
You and Claudia came in.
We did a very controversial episode where we talked about the worst Beatles
songs.
And I knew this going in that you did not know much about the fab four.
You were a little in the dark.
That's a sound effect.
You didn't know shit.
Yeah, no.
I didn't know anything.
I knew the hits.
You know, my family had the number ones album, of course.
You know, it was playing at every Starbucks in my childhood.
Yes.
And then, but you were intrigued by our conversation.
I was.
You guys were talking about it with such eloquence and passion.
What?
And, I don't know.
It just, it shook something up in me.
And most of all, I just wanted to be included.
Yeah.
You wanted to be in the gang.
Yeah, it was hard.
But you went in deep.
I went in real deep.
Because it was over like the holidays or something.
Thanksgiving.
We can say Thanksgiving here.
But we don't like to.
I actually don't have that much of a problem with that.
What?
Yeah.
And you got hooked.
I got totally hooked.
I got totally hooked.
Are you still in?
Are you still there?
I'll tell you where I am right now.
Yeah.
And I've been there for a while.
And we may