Name: Doug's Birthday w/ Kate Berlant, Pauline & Gary Lussenhop (Office Hours Live Ep 242)
Uploaded: 2023-03-08T20:17:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Doug's Birthday w/ Kate Berlant, Pauline & Gary Lussenhop (Office Hours Live Ep 242)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Doug's Birthday w/ Kate Berlant, Pauline & Gary Lussenhop (Office Hours Live Ep 242)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-08. Transcript available.

Doug's Birthday w/ Kate Berlant, Pauline & Gary Lussenhop (Office Hours Live Ep 242)

We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
Just a little pre-show chat.
Good morning, everybody.
It's Tim Heidecker coming to you.
This is hour two.
No, just kidding.
It's the beginning of the show.
Everybody loves that kind of humor.
Everybody loves raining.
Oh, jeez, Beck.
Let's start over.
Let's roll back, everybody.
Good Wednesday to you.
Wednesday, August 14th.
No.
March.
Of course.
There's only one date of the year that matters to me.
That's March 8th.
International Women's Day.
It's Doug Loosenhap's birthday.
Yee-hoo!
I've been doing a Chicago accent all day in honor of Doug.
Doug Loosenhap is celebrating his birthday here.
We're not going to do ages, how old he is, but let me just give you a clue.
He was born in 1963.
Good morning.
Good morning, Doug.
Congratulations on your terrific day.
Good morning.
Yes, we heard that.
And you're celebrating here with us.
You got a big party coming tonight.
Let's give the address for your party so that the fans can come and show their
respect.
And Victor Berger IV is with me.
He'll finally get his cowboy hat back on.
What sip, everybody?
Let's get cracking.
Hold on.
Clear the air for his cracking sound.
Frying eggs.
Producer Matt is here.
We've got Wes and Vic.
My brain is fried, man.
I got nothing happening upstairs.
Too much on your mind.
You got a lot on your mind.
Big bull house today because in honor of Doug's birthday, we have the woman.
See, I'm telling you, it's all falling apart.
The oatmeal is dribbling out of my ears this morning.
I will not be able to complete a sentence, unfortunately.
But the woman responsible, almost entirely responsible.
There is another person involved, of course, in procreation.
One minute to prevent brain damage from Tim.
The woman of the hour, Pauline Lusenhop is here.
In from Denver, Colorado.
Hi, hi, hi.
Blew in for the big day.
Yeah, yeah.
Congratulations to you.
How's everything going?
You got me so good on our last time we had you over Zoom with your routine.
Yeah, I have a new book coming out.
Are we getting right into this?
I'll go with that later.
Later.
We'll talk about your new book.
You're the real star of the show.
Go right into it, Mom.
Go ahead.
I want to hear.
Are you reading or you're putting a book out, you said?
Yeah.
50 ways to use your spit.
Whoa.
Damn.
Very good.
What are some ways that you use it?
Give me one, and we'll move on.
Well, you're riding your bike down a path, and all of a sudden you get a bug in
your eye.
So you stop the bike, take your contact out, you eat the bug, and then you use
your spit
to put your contact back.
Beautiful.
I don't wear contact, so that one does not apply to me.
It's okay.
Well, you know, you probably have colics in your hair a lot.
That's another, is that another use?
Yeah, you can like.
I do, I do.
Yeah, you can.
Who knows?
I got a haircut the other day, so who knows what it looks like.
Yeah, you can use some.
Excuse me.
The real star, our A-list talent here today, we always bring A-listers, is the
one and only
the star of stars.
Kate Berlant is finally here in the studio.
I love it.
I love everything about you.
We are close.
Very close, for years.
For years.
I've been an admirer of yours, and a supporter of yours, I would say.
Huge patron supporter.
Advocate of you.
Yeah.
And look it, it's paid off, because you are soaring right now.
Still no offers, but culturally soaring.
Absolutely, in the zeitgeist.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I'm proud of you, and it's long, how do you say this the right way, it's
long past due.
And your energy is at a high level.
And I can't wait to see the show, if it's still going.
I hope you get to see it.
And I love the attention you're getting.
I love the, first of all, I see all these great pictures of you now that you're
posting.
Thank you.
Aww.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a, it's a new look for you.
No, I, it's, it's, I've been very lucky, you know, just with the, with the
press and the photos.
It's true.
And you have, and the show apparently sounds like it's gone well.
And 105 sold out shows, if you want me to count.
Yeah.
Cool.
He's stealing it!
In New York City.
I mean, that's the town you want to be selling out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it was, it was great.
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm bummed it's over, actually.
Yeah.
Are you, okay.
Well.
Yeah.
Well.
This keeps falling out of my ear.
It's really annoying.
Yeah.
All right.
It's okay if I fart.
Was it fun to do the show?
Yeah.
Anyway.
Yeah.
All right, let's see what else we have here.
I'm sorry.
It's a funny video.
Can I get this off?
You okay?
Sorry.
Wait, what's going on?
Wait, what's going on?
Why?
I feel like it's weird.
Wait, wait.
Time out.
Time out.
What happened?
You don't know?
No, I don't know.
You just, I was asking you about the show.
Turn the stream off.
Can you get on the mic?
Because people want to.
What's the problem?
Oh, right.
This is, sorry.
Not in my ear.
Not in my ear.
No, I'm.
I think you know.
I think you probably.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry.
I didn't.
I just want to.
It's like the first thing.
What?
Wait.
Just.
The fat, like, I don't know.
Just right.
Oh, the fashion show.
Pictures?
The fashion photos.
I know you.
I know you.
Yeah.
I'm just like.
That to you is like.
Whatever.
I'm going to get.
I think I'm going to get like a little coffee just to.
I'm right back.
You guys have.
Just.
Can I go to the bathroom while she's getting coffee?
I'm so sorry.
I just.
I just was trying to make a nice thing about the.
The picture.
Like, they're very nice pictures.
All right.
She's upset because.
I don't know.
They're like.
She posts a lot on Instagram.
Did you comment on her looks?
I think.
I don't know.
I don't like that.
I just said.
We can look back on the show and see what I said.
But she got really icy.
With me.
Right away.
Right?
Move on.
Move on.
Don't dwell on it.
You say just move on.
Life's too short to like dwell on.
I know.
Stuff like that.
How else can you spit?
Um.
You know what?
She could have used that spit.
Did you.
Pauline.
Did you think I said something out of line?
I don't know.
What would she do with it?
She had a little.
I can't hear anyway.
So I don't know.
You know.
Did she have hair sticking up on her head?
Can we take a call?
Did she leave?
Like she left her coat here.
Oh.
Oh.
Let's go through it.
Maybe I should try it on.
I could try it on.
I could try it on.
I'm just.
I feel terrible.
Kate if I.
Number six.
Kate if you're.
Okay.
Offended by anything I said.
I deeply apologize.
She's okay.
You know.
She's a woman.
She's got her.
She's got her period.
Hey.
Easy.
Probably.
Yeah.
I should also say.
I don't know.
I'm not watching the show of course.
I'm doing the show.
Doug's dad is here too.
Gary Lusenhop.
He's in the.
He's guest directing today.
Oh yeah.
He's at the control.
Matt do you want to.
Is she still here?
Yeah.
Let me.
She's in the control room.
So let me check.
We're seeing.
Oh she came back.
She's in there.
She's back there.
Does she want to come back in?
I can clear things up.
Oh.
Sorry.
Uh.
Folks.
Kate's back.
I think.
I'm embarrassed.
Sorry.
I think we should say.
Yeah.
A few words about what happened.
I'm just like.
I'm like.
I'm gonna.
You're in a weird place.
Yeah.
Is it your period?
Cause that's what Pauline said on the air.
And it does.
We're not a week away from that.
So.
A pre-ment.
I don't know.
But no.
Yeah.
Can we just reveal something?
It's a bit.
It's just.
It's a bit.
It's called a bit Pauline.
Okay.
I'm alright.
She's doing a routine.
Yeah.
It's.
We worked it out.
We worked it out.
Oh.
Okay.
You think she's really mad because I mentioned some nice pictures?
I didn't know what to think.
I know.
Yeah.
Well I am self-conscious.
I am genuinely.
You know I am self-conscious about.
You know I try not to be on Instagram.
But you know when you got those gorgeous photos from these top publications.
They're fantastic.
Let's find some of those.
My hands are tied.
What am I supposed to do?
I have to post them.
Yeah.
I think it's an award-winning bit.
Oh yeah.
Absolutely.
Yes.
I felt it.
Do you ever feel it?
I actually wanted to go longer in the scene.
Because I felt so.
To act opposite you.
Such a fine actor.
I felt.
Challenged.
Yeah.
I know.
Challenged.
I felt like I have to really sit into this.
Yeah.
And then I went a couple times in the moment I went you're winking Kate.
You know you're indicating.
Yes you pulled back.
A couple times.
And then I went no what if you really played this to truth.
What if you really did acting as ultimately an athletic exercise.
This is W Magazine.
Oh nice.
Look at those.
But yeah but that's not even the best one.
So you do like talking about.
Go back.
Okay so that's the headline.
Go back.
We got the previous.
Yep.
So we got that.
Okay.
Not my favorite.
There we go.
What is this for?
Allure?
This was.
Allure?
I don't know.
What is allure?
Sweetie no.
No.
It's not 1984.
Okay.
Is this for Ms. Magazine?
Yeah.
This is W Magazine.
Unbelievable.
Nice.
Yeah.
Then you can go to the first one too.
What number did I say?
1984.
There.
Oh wow.
Well let's go to the first one too.
What number did I say?
1984.
There.
Oh wow.
Wow.
Well let's take a Zoomer and just clear the air.
Gary, can we get a Zoomer please?
Mom, do you subscribe to Better Homes and Gardens?
This one?
Young Satan.
I do.
I do.
I do.
What about Reader's Digest?
Yeah.
Can we hear me?
We hear you too, Gary.
Just go crazy with this stuff.
They got too liberal.
Yeah.
I draw the line.
Who's there?
He's a mailman?
Yes.
Yep.
Amazing.
Delivering the mail.
You know, I just want to say happy birthday to Doug.
He's used to seeing me disrobe in the shower on Zoom.
Oh yeah.
Thank you.
I've seen him naked postman before.
Thank you.
Naked mailman.
Fully clothed right now.
Out here delivering bills.
You know.
Did you witness the great acting bit that Kate and I did?
Now I miss it.
Oh.
God damn it.
We could do another one.
And let me say something about Doug's birthday because it is true.
It is his birthday.
That's not a bit.
But we don't want to harp on it.
Nah.
We don't want to harp on it.
You should have seen the meetings we had about this show.
Really?
We have our Tuesday morning, you know, round.
We get on Zoom.
I stayed away, by the way.
I stayed away.
I didn't write a fake ad.
I didn't do a bit.
I'm just hearing a lot.
The amount of like consternation and deliberation Doug went through to decide
whether he wants
to acknowledge his birthday, whether we should not make it a big deal, make it
a big deal.
Should we have it on his day?
The hemming and the hawing over it.
Well, that was months ago.
Still, it was time of my life.
It was part of my life.
Now that it's here, how do you feel about it?
Any different?
Nah.
It's fine.
Do you know your birth chart?
Like, do you follow that at all?
Birth chart?
My birth chart is raspberry.
My birth chart is an apple scoodle.
I don't know.
It's Pisces.
That's the general.
Well, this is perfect.
You've never done your whole chart?
Mom, do you remember what time I was born?
You're a histology person.
Just barely.
Barely.
Somebody asked me what time I was born once.
Yeah, exactly.
Do you know what time Doug was born?
Let's bring it up.
Do you know?
Come on.
Do you remember iCal?
He was supposed to be born at one time.
Hershey was, he was about two weeks late.
Is that our Zoomer?
I was two weeks late.
I'm going to say he was probably born around nine o'clock in the morning.
Nice.
What?
Nice.
That's what he was supposed to.
Oh, the cup of coffee in his hand.
Yeah.
Late for work.
What city?
Because we could do your birth chart right now.
Do it.
He was born in LaGrange, Illinois.
Okay, here we go.
What is he, ZZ Top?
Yeah, I don't know who he is.
There he is, ZZ.
All right.
This guy's showing off his bald head.
I don't want to see that.
Let's get somebody that saw the bit live.
Yeah.
All right.
You need reviews.
Kate and I need reviews.
John Galantini.
You're a reliable source.
You saw the bit?
Hello.
Hello.
I saw the bit.
John's also an opinionated guy.
He's going to give it to me straigh