Name: Douggpound & Brent Weinbach (guest hosts), George Clanton, Laura Weinbach (Office Hours Live Ep 244)
Uploaded: 2023-03-30T19:25:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Douggpound & Brent Weinbach (guest hosts), George Clanton, Laura Weinbach (Office Hours Live Ep 244)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Douggpound & Brent Weinbach (guest hosts), George Clanton, Laura Weinbach (Office Hours Live Ep 244)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-30. Transcript available.

Douggpound & Brent Weinbach (guest hosts), George Clanton, Laura Weinbach (Office Hours Live Ep 244)

I'm a gangster!
Penis...
Penis...
P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P.
Let's go!
Yeah...
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Swag!
Let's go!
Yeah...
I like having fun!
Yeah...
I like to laugh!
Yeah...
I like to meet people who can make me laugh!
Yeah...
I like having fun!
Yes, I like to laugh!
Yeah...
Good morning.
It's Office Hours Live.
March 30th.
2023.
First of all, let's say hello to producer Matt.
Hi, everybody.
I'm one of your co-hosts today.
DJ Doug Pound.
I'll say.
Who cares?
It's not about me.
It's not only about me today.
It's about my special co-hosts, brother and sister duo.
Talking about Brent Weinbach.
Oh, hey, it's ice.
It's ice to be here.
There we go.
Ice.
And Laura Weinbach.
What's cup?
Good to brew you.
Wait.
Wait, what's cup?
How you brewing?
How's it brewing?
How you brewing?
How's it brewing?
I got it right a second time.
Let's run that back.
And Laura Weinbach.
What's cup?
How you brewing?
I'm a gangster.
And that is your laugh that we're listening to here.
That is me.
That's me.
That's Laura.
I'm a gangster.
I'm a gangster.
It's like a duel, you know?
I'm a gangster.
I just want people to know it really is me.
That I really am a gangster.
Welcome to the show, guys.
Oh, yeah.
We also have George Clanton on the show.
We're very excited to bring him up.
What an exciting day, huh?
One of the great artists of our time.
And you have a very exciting look right now.
That's different.
Sort of a who's framed Roger Rabbit Spangler approach.
Sort of a...
You look like a sprocket of sorts, you know?
I think I look more like one of the birds with a Y.
Oh, the Byards.
Yes, of course.
The Byards.
No, but you know that guy from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
The gloved man?
Christopher Lloyd.
Who framed him?
Because who framed his frame?
That's the question.
That's the sequel.
What prequel?
Just like that.
Got a touch of Geddy Lee, I would say, as well.
Have you seen his small glasses?
We're going to be talking to some Zoomers today.
Tim and Vic are out in Europe right now.
They're going to be...
Are they going to...
They might Zoom in.
Hopefully, we'll hear from them.
That's going to be exciting for all of us.
That's why you have this European look.
Yeah, mate.
You know?
Because if they get to be in Europe, then why don't you get to be in Europe in
your mind?
I can't have a touch of...
Maybe I can have a touch of Oasis.
Maybe.
I feel like they look like me a little bit.
They do.
Oasis?
Well...
Oasis.
Oasis.
A fucking millionaire.
Fucking millionaires.
Stealing.
You look like you.
Can I get a maybe they do?
Maybe.
Yeah.
Because all the grady fuckers doubled up on me.
Do you think that you look like Oasis?
Maybe.
Maybe.
There it is.
That's the joke.
Yeah.
You do kind of look like them.
Look.
You look like no fucking Gallagher.
Naya.
See?
I was right.
Is that Noel?
Which one's Noel and which one's the other one?
Which one's Noel?
There's only two, I feel.
Yeah.
There's two Gallaghers.
These other guys are just back upstairs.
There's actually three Gallaghers.
There's Noel, the other one, and then the hammer guy.
That'd be cool if Gallagher was in the band, too.
Oh, that would be amazing.
And Gallagher.
It was Noel Gallagher.
And his watermelon.
You know, like in the band where there's like that one cymbal player that they
kind of don't
do anything and then they go.
Right.
Yeah.
Or they have a triangle thing.
He hits the big note at the end of the song.
He's just there at the whole.
He's.
Yeah.
It's at the end of the show.
Not even the end of the song.
He's just there with the hammer the whole show.
And they'll know.
He's like, you're my Wonderwall.
Smash.
And it's just a watermelon everywhere.
Giant watermelon exploding.
Oh, you're my watermelon.
You're my watermelon.
Baby.
Cut the tape.
So we're hosting a show.
Oh, wow.
I mean, what's going on with you guys?
Shoot.
I mean, what is going on?
We got Laura had an interesting observation.
What?
You know, the that would you observe the store Best Buy?
Oh, yeah.
What if it was just called Best Buy?
Well, it's just like March 23.
Right.
It's weird to name a store that is evocative.
It's evocative of an expiration date.
An expiration date.
Yeah.
If it was spelled best B-Y and then in parentheses March 23.
It's like, then they keep changing the signs.
So it's like, hurry up and get in.
Like, oh, it's running.
Time's running out.
Either that or they're saying anything you buy from us will expire shortly.
It's just a weird thing to name a store Best Buy when it sounds like it's, you
know what
I mean?
Stuff is going to spoil or something.
I'll say.
We all can grow and we all can learn.
I got to do drops and I got to host.
How do you like that?
These glasses give me strength and they give me.
They give you European power.
You know, like when you wear something kind of like swagged out.
You know what they kind of reminded me of, even though they're not really this
look, but
it made me think of the guy who wears braces on his eyes from Star Trek.
Swag.
I got dropped.
He wears like that headband.
What?
The guy that wears braces on his head?
You're talking about.
On his eyes.
You're talking about.
Well, it's like a headband on his eyes.
Shoot.
What's that character's name called?
Star Trek.
Brent.
Come on.
The guy from Reading Rainbow.
La Ford.
Yes.
His name La Ford?
Yeah.
No.
Reading Rainbow.
I think you're right.
You know.
Well, maybe his glasses just shows rainbows in there and he's reading rainbows
all day.
Swag.
That's probably it.
I can't believe we already got to Star Trek.
You know, we always talk about Star Trek.
Is that true?
You already did it.
You did it.
With the braces.
Those aren't braces.
I don't think that.
What if people with lazy eyes can get braces and they have to like.
It's like this crazy brace that's like slowly moving it back.
Well, that is kind of what glasses do, I guess.
They kind of push your eyeballs in a certain way.
Right.
That's so intense.
That's actually a thing.
Is there a way to soft touch your eyeball?
I touch it all the time when I put contacts on.
With a soft touch, though.
Can you soft open your eyeball?
What's the soft touch?
Well, is there a kind of device that can comfortably touch your eyeball and
push it in such a way
that you can kind of brace your eye?
See, this is the question we all.
I actually had a vision one time of something.
I can squirt semen out of my penis.
You had a vision of what?
I thought it would be interesting if there, because I used to have such a hard
time putting
my contacts on.
What if there was some sort of like a nub or a nib-like device that somehow
softly put
the contact in your eye?
Yeah, because you always have to get your hand perfectly clean.
Yeah, and dry.
But what if it was just a nub device?
Yeah, like a contact.
That just stuck it in there for you somehow.
Soft nub, soft nub.
We have fake ad ideas all day.
What if we call a soft nub?
Well, here's a question.
You know how we brush our teeth every morning, every night?
Mm-hmm.
Most of them.
That's a wet opening in our face.
True.
What about our eyeballs?
Why don't we brush our balls?
Like, how do they stay clean?
That's the question I'm asking.
An eye brush.
Why don't we brush our balls?
No, ball brush.
The new eye brush from Apple.
How about ball brush?
Nice.
Yeah, I mean, what about balls?
Those are pretty wet, too.
Wait, how about ball brush from Nars?
Balls are not an opening.
You don't have to...
No, eyeballs are.
Yeah, I'm saying eyeballs.
We should be brushing those.
And I guess we don't need to.
They don't get rotten.
They don't get cavities.
They do get pinkeye, though, I suppose.
They get styes.
And they get crusts.
They do get crusty, though.
Okay, we got to keep the show going.
Okay, let's crust on.
I like this topic, though.
Let's come back to it later.
Okay.
Let's put a pin in it.
Now, Matt, do we have any Zoomers or...?
We do.
I think we already have somebody looking for some advice.
Yeah, so look, Brent and I, on the Poundcast,
people write in and they have things that annoy them,
and we fix it for them.
So if anyone's watching, listening right now,
and you have something that annoys you
or a problem you want to get fixed,
we'll fix it.
Let's go.
It'll be good as new after we're done with it.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Other Douglas?
Are you there on Zoom?
Hello?
Can you do it, Brent?
Yes, let's go.
Oh, you can hear me.
Let's go.
We can hear...
You're Douglas?
Yeah.
Douglas from Scotland.
Oh, no wonder you go by the full Douglas.
Yeah.
Douglas.
Is that not your full name, no?
That is my full name, yeah.
Is your last name?
You know, that's originally a Scottish name, I think.
Douglas.
Yeah, it is, yeah.
Douglas.
Douglas.
I don't have a drop of...
Your Wikipedia page says Doug, I think.
So, also, that was just your full name.
What time is it in Scotland?
It's ten past six.
Ten past six.
Sorry, I don't mean to laugh at that, but it did sound like...
That is the cutest accent ever.
That did sound like you said sex, though.
It did.
It did.
Ten past six.
Ten past six.
What if you just said...
I have a boner.
I went to see Tim the other night in Glasgow.
Tim?
How was Tim?
Yeah.
Big Tim.
He was good.
He was good?
He was fucking class, as they say up here.
He was fucking class?
As they say up here.
I like that class.
You know how they say class in Germany?
Klaus.
How does he stack up to, say, teenage fan club?
Teenage fan club?
Isn't that a Scottish band?
I don't know.
I don't listen to them.
Oh.
Well, let's move on, then.
Magwa.
So, do you have a problem that you would like us to fix?
Yeah, I do.
So, I go to the cinema quite a lot, and every single time I go, there's always
people around
me eating popcorn and making loads of noise or, like, looking at their phones
and stuff,
and I just, it really distracts me from the film.
I went to see the new John Wick the other day, and there was a woman next to me
scrolling
through Facebook with her phone on full brightness for, like, almost the entire
film.
And I didn't want to say anything, because her husband was sitting there, and
he might
have, like, started an argument or something like that.
So, I'm not quite sure what to do.
I know exactly.
I have two ideas.
I have one idea.
Okay, Brent, go ahead.
No, no, you spoke up first.
Okay, well, my first one would be, see what she's looking at.
You know, if what she's looking at is better than John Wick, take a look.
Lean over.
Get close to that phone.
Yeah, breathe into her face.
And say, you know, talk to her about, like, what's going on on Facebook?
This is, you know, what's...
Just put your head over her shoulder and just start breathing.
I mean, she's sitting back.
Like this, go like this.
Oh, yeah.
But also, the main point is, learn to love it.
Maybe there's something great going on on Facebook that's better than, I mean,
John Wick.
If you've seen one of them, you've seen them all, right?
He just fights people for two hours, right?
Yeah, pretty much.
With all due respect to Keanu.
Keanu.
Okay, so that's one idea.
You want to enjoy the movie, so maybe Brent has another one.
Well, I'm thinking this.
You see a light go on in there.
First of all, you've got to come prepared and bring your own set of lights.
Right, bring a brighter light.
Brighter light, but have it sort of attached to your body.
So you've got sort of lights strapped to your body and even to the side of your
face.
You want to wear almost sort of a headband that has lights on them.
Bright ones.
Once you see a light go on, flip the switch.
You've got to have battery.
You know, make sure you have a charger battery, right?
Blast the room with light so hard that it will block all other light out.
And you won't be seeing the lights coming from other people's phones.
And you'll be just fully in your own sort of force field of light, which will
allow you to just focus on the movie.
You don't sound too stoked on these ideas, Douglas, but we're going to...
Laura.
Well, my thought initially was that, well, what are you doing going 