Name: 4/20 Party with Pat Finnerty, Madison McFerrin - Office Hours Live Ep 246
Uploaded: 2023-04-20T18:21:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '4/20 Party with Pat Finnerty, Madison McFerrin - Office Hours Live Ep 246' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '4/20 Party with Pat Finnerty, Madison McFerrin - Office Hours Live Ep 246' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-20. Transcript available.

4/20 Party with Pat Finnerty, Madison McFerrin - Office Hours Live Ep 246

No man has a right to lay a hand on a wound for any other reason than self-defense.
And I'm going to make a controversial statement that's always made.
If someone in this room got up, took off all her clothes and walked out the
door,
no man has a right to touch her.
Zero.
She can be arrested for endision exposure.
I'm 20.
I'm going to try some weed.
Dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Come on.
No matter.
Smoke weed.
It's not hot.
It's a clove figure.
He steals my weed.
It's always the vaccine, the vaccine.
The vaccine, the vaccine.
The thing in this joint that I kind of brought.
It's not hot.
It's a clove cigarette.
That's not hot.
Do you smoke cigars?
Oh, I see.
You know this.
We're in California.
We're on the air in lots of states.
Oh, wow.
Smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke.
I like having fun.
I like to laugh.
I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
I like having fun.
Yes, I like to do that.
I like having fun under me.
I like to do that.
Good morning, everybody.
Hello.
Hi, everybody.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good afternoon.
If you're out there on the East Coast or in the central time zone, it's just
turned from
morning to afternoon.
I know the nooners are a big part of our audience.
We love our nooners.
And if you're international, maybe it's the evening time and you're having a
spot of tea
over in London, England.
It is April.
We're going to get high.
What does that mean?
It's a 420.
That's the big life.
Oh, baby.
I did, uh, I made a little mistake.
You want?
I made a little goof.
I got my, uh, I went to my stash of drugs that I keep in the, in my closet.
I grabbed the old booger candy instead of the weed, instead of the green stuff.
I got white powder.
I just did a line.
I go.
And then now, so now I'm, I'm amped up.
I have the opposite feeling.
Can I have a sniff?
Of Coke, of a pot.
I'm a Coke head.
You want to get, you want to get a little, uh, ISO, ISO version of me saying
this?
Hold on.
Yeah.
Clean.
Ready?
Rolling.
I'm a Coke head.
Mom, I want to vape.
Yes.
So.
I'm just kidding.
I don't do drugs.
We're going to get high, high, high.
Everyone's got a drug drawer with something in it, just in case.
I got some drugs.
Wait, what do you got?
I got, I got some gummies and some, uh, and some mushrooms.
He steals my weed.
Mushroom gummies?
No.
Mushroom actual, actual caps and stems, baby.
I've been doing them twice a day.
Mmm.
Tripping and writing, writing a novel on mushrooms.
Talking with God.
It's a little bit of a naked lunch vibe.
It's very psychedelic, very surreal.
It's a story of a little girl.
It's the story of a little girl.
And this little girl is walking through the forest when she discovers a little
rabbit hole.
Down she goes, exploring.
Down into the rabbit hole.
And she meets a variety of characters down there, folks.
Let me tell you that.
Many, many weird things.
There's rabbits down there.
And there's a, there's, there's royalty down there.
And it's completely absurd.
Tripping balls with your family.
So look for that book coming in, uh, from Penguin next year.
Fucking kicking it with the fam, tripping balls.
It's not hot, it's a closed cigarette.
Doing your own heads.
Just living, living the, uh.
I thought maybe it would be like, maybe Doug or somebody would chime in and be
like,
Hey Tim, isn't that Alice in Wonderland?
That was a bit on the nose.
Anyway.
I was going to make a cocaine joke, but that's a bit on the nose.
In that tune.
I don't know.
Come on, that's easy.
Smoke on the water.
Smoke on the water?
No.
We've been talking about it all morning.
Oh, it's cocaine.
Thank you.
That's the royalty-free version.
Listen, we are off to a running start here on Office Hours Live.
Welcome, you can join us.
If you're watching on the Tim Heidecker channel, fuck you.
You're kidding.
Get the fuck off my channel.
That's not where you belong.
Shame, shame on you.
Shame on you, you son of a bitch.
I don't know why.
The deal is this.
We're still broadcasting there to clean up some old scores
and to make sure the people that were subscribed there are paying money,
shame on all of you.
Sorry to interrupt.
This is breaking news.
420 people are watching right now.
Isn't that wild?
That's a low number.
Let's keep it there.
Get out of here.
It's 420, dude.
We're keeping it at that.
That's a very embarrassing number, Matt.
Don't bring that up.
Well, there's more on the Tim channel, which is to you.
This is the problem.
If you're watching me, shame on you.
Get over so we can break past 420 on the Office Hours.
So all you do is if you're watching...
It is!
Shame!
Tim asked yesterday in the call, you're like,
what's going on with the channels?
We don't know!
Tim has no idea.
Nobody knows.
Here's my thought.
Matt, years ago, I must have done something to him.
I must have slighted him in the smallest way,
in this Machiavellian prick,
that I'm going to plant my seeds to ruin you.
Ruin you, Sulu.
The old Sulu ruin you.
Shame!
But if you're watching on Tim Heidecker,
Tim Heidecker, who's I,
you're watching...
Scott, stop, Scotty.
Whoa, how did you get so loud?
If you're watching on TimHeidecker.com,
click on to YouTube.com slash Office Hours Live,
and then you can watch the show, the same show.
It's actually a little better over there, people say.
And you get the second half of the show today live.
Here we go with this again.
Now the big news with this...
Live, not a free play.
We've got...
If you sign up for the subscription here,
you go to the Patreon.com,
a big announcement is that, of course,
you're getting it ad-free,
and that's Office Hours Plus.
That's the Office Hours Plus difference.
And soon,
we're going to be introducing Office Hours Minus,
which also removes the fake ad
that we'll be doing soon.
And you'll not have to listen to the fake ad
or the jingle.
So that's Office Hours Minus coming shortly.
You're going to free up your mind.
What the fuck?
I don't read.
All right, we've got a packed show.
I'm holding my powder, as they say.
Holding powder?
No, that's not a phrase.
Sounds like you snorted your powder.
Please confirm that holding powder
is a concept, a phrase.
Oh, baby.
Holding my powder.
Matt, look that up.
Like...
I think it's in reference to...
From like George Washington?
Yeah, it's like gun power.
Oh, I thought it was like powder in his hair
or his face.
Remember they used to do that?
Keep one's powder.
Keep keeping powder.
What's that mean?
Keep your powder dry?
Keep your powder dry.
Keep your powder dry.
It's a Ben Franklin saying.
Speaking of Ben Franklin,
our guest in the studio
is
unavailable, unfortunately,
because he's already
did the Best Show circuit.
And he's basically gone through everything.
So if you want to hear from Pat Finnerty,
why don't you go over to the Best Show?
Where I
have a partnership with them
and Forever Dog.
And they came and swooped in.
Shame on you.
I'm just kidding.
For Pat, I tease.
And Pat Finnerty is here, Pat.
And I told you.
Pat, welcome to the show.
Welcome to Glendale.
It's good to be here, Tim.
Yeah, it must feel good.
Yeah, I was hoping that you didn't miss...
That you didn't catch the Best Show.
Oh, that that's just going to go
under the radar with me?
That I don't have my eyes and ears
and my lieutenant?
Yeah.
Lieutenant Carson
and Captain Carlin,
my team,
my squad.
The show that you hosted.
Yes.
Yeah.
I was hoping, yeah,
maybe we'll catch it this week.
I mean, you know, I'm in...
Listen, I don't blame you.
I don't even blame Tom to some degree.
No, it's, it's, it happens.
It was a massive decision, right?
Wasn't he booked like here?
I mean, and then Matt's like, let's get...
We had Pat booked for last week.
How long are you out here in California?
Too long.
Yeah, you want to get back to Pat Stakes?
Kind of.
I mean, no, I mean, like...
Can you do Pat Stakes?
I'm driving around, I'm like looking,
and I'm like, all right, yeah,
this is LA again.
And I'm just like,
this is more beautiful,
and this is LA and everything like that.
But after like seven, eight days,
like I'm ready.
Well, do you have a purpose for being here?
Yeah.
So I was doing a little recon
for a video that I'm working on.
Okay.
And I went to...
You can't do that through Google Maps?
No, I mean, I could,
but I commit to these videos
that I do about terrible songs.
So I went to the NAMM convention.
Oh, Lord.
That must have been a feast for you.
Well, I said this on the best show.
Yeah.
Well, we'll pull clips.
Can we pull clips?
What we can do is...
Vietnam convention?
Actually, we have some audio.
All right, let's get...
So you can relax.
Enjoy your Dunkin' Donuts.
Thanks.
There's a channel on YouTube.
They love saying subscribe to my channel.
They do.
And it's called
What Makes This Song Great
by this guy named Rick Beato.
It's true.
And he's like the guy.
Like the YouTubers.
He's like interviewing Sting at this point.
Like, sure.
And he must have gotten tired of you.
I'm not going to get tired of you.
I'm thrilled you're here.
So you do know that I was on the best show.
Looks like you guys were ready.
This is my impression of time.
Uh-huh.
And you're like,
are you mad at me?
Right.
Yeah.
I love you, Tom.
You know I do.
And we're just having fun.
He's not watching.
He's definitely not watching.
But this is a thrill for me.
I mean, I get to go on two of my favorite shows.
And, you know, I'll say it.
You're doing James Corden later?
Oh, I can't wait.
Yeah, we're going to be in a car.
I think maybe Beyonce's going to be in there.
We're going to sing together.
Why does he get everybody?
Why would you say, what would, if you, if James Corden wanted you to go on a
rock and roll
karaoke tour with him, what would you, would be your choice?
I don't know.
That's a dumb question.
Who cares?
Right.
I would probably, buddy.
Oh, that's nice.
That's some pandering shit there.
Yeah, it is.
I got to dig out, Tim.
I'm digging out.
Thank you.
Yep.
You got to dig out.
Can I just do a little business here for a second?
I just do a little business.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good, Doug.
Good morning to you.
I do it myself.
And I want to say.
Oh, God.
We're going to get that.
What is that?
Closed cigarette.
Okay, good.
I just want to say, hi.
Get it?
Like, hi.
Maybe I've smoked too much pot.
The whole, by the way, of course, the whole 420 thing is ridiculous.
Oh, it's fine.
It's just like.
She smells good.
The consumption of marijuana.
That's why I switched to these clothes here.
Has become totally normalized.
And there is no, and fine.
You want to celebrate it?
Go ahead.
Might as well celebrate white bread at this point.
Vic, if I order a BLT.
I'll ask this to Pat.
He's the guest.
Sure.
This is my pointed question to you.
Bacon, lettuce, and tomato.
A BLT.
Mm-hmm.
And they ask for choice of bread.
What is my answer?
I mean, I'm going to go right down the middle, and I'm going to say white.
Yeah.
It has to be white.
It has to be white.
Yeah.
White bread toasted.
Don't get fancy.
Can you imagine this situation?
Manees, though, too.
Of course.
Yeah.
Can you imagine this scenario?
All the BLT, white bread, don't toast it.
Ugh.
Jesus.
What?
Yeah.
What's sickos doing that?
Hello, Hootan.
I gave up on whole at the diner.
Like, for like 15 years, I was like, I'm going to go healthy.
I'm going to get whole wheat.
It's all the same.
It's all terrible.
Yeah, they say some people say that whole wheat is even worse for you.
Yeah.
Some people.
I don't fuck with scrapple.
Yeah, some people do say that.
No scrapple.
I don't fuck with scrapple.
That's bullshit.
Do you fuck with scrapple?
I don't fuck with scrapple, Tim.
Really?
Right.
Are you vegetarian?
Are you vegetarian?
Not.
I'll take it all.
You're from Philadelphia.
What part?
I live in Fishtown.
All right.
Yeah.
I love Fishtown.
Well, Fishtown's a gentrified situation right now.
Yeah.
But is that where you, where are you from?
From Scranton, Pennsylvania.
Oh.
Vic.
Yeah.
What do you got?
Oh, yeah.
Let's see.
I don't.
Dunder Mifflin head, huh?
I got it somewhere.
People genuinely get excited.
Like, they think I was on the show.
Lik