Name: Brandon Wardell & Jamel Johnson, Janet - Office Hours Live Ep 247 (incomplete)
Uploaded: 2023-04-27T18:16:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Brandon Wardell & Jamel Johnson, Janet - Office Hours Live Ep 247 (incomplete)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Brandon Wardell & Jamel Johnson, Janet - Office Hours Live Ep 247 (incomplete)' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-27. Transcript available.

Brandon Wardell & Jamel Johnson, Janet - Office Hours Live Ep 247 (incomplete)

it's in route it's like i don't know where your morley bagel is i go to bell's
bagels i got a
different bag yeah well that's a whole other scene over there which is madness
oh sorry we're sold
out yeah what are you doing here oh hey we only got salt left yeah oh good
looks dude thanks i
like it i like it it's free you do so i like a salt and pepper bagel really
okay so let me i'm
gonna get through the granular here so morley's bagels where are you coming
from what part of
town um silver lake very well i'll give my i'll give my address on the put it
under the paywall
under the paywall i'll drop the address so you so morley's bagels is over there
in silver lake
yeah so you go yeah give me how much time you give yourself for that bagel stop
i would say like 10
i don't know
i don't know sorry 10 minutes it's 30 minutes or less not for a very delicious
bagel yeah i was
eating the i i picked up the bagel i'm walking yeah i'm walking to my car i'm
eating it as fast as i
coffee with that wolfing it down yeah what kind of coffee again slams it's just
the normal okay you're
not asking for something that's going to take 20 minutes yeah no no no i'm
sorry you know you know
how you know i'm a big big big office hours fan i don't want you sitting around
here for 20 minutes
before the show started anyway you know what i mean yeah thank you you know let's
you know
straight straight into it live live you know vic you know vic yes oh yeah no i
know i know all of
these folks oh i know you know doug yes have you tried courage bagels they got
the 17 bagel oh yeah
they're they're really really it's uh it's a real hit in town lenders very i go
lenders take them out
of the freeze yeah straight to business yeah lenders there's got to be a brick
and mortar lenders
you think it started that way yeah it's got to be one lenders and they were
like let's freeze them
let's freeze them and put them in the freeze uh the freezer section oh oh i
know what happened i
i messed with that didn't i luke we have peaches we have 300 hamburgers oh yeah
doug i mean i i i
texted daga doug ahead of time for a drop we he made a drop you might as well
have texted a nigerian
scammer i mean what's the point of texting doug he ain't looking no yeah yeah
you have it yeah he's
not following you're bad with the text i'm bad with the text too i ain't gonna
lie man my phone's
always on silent i'm doing a terrible job responding to text see i have such
contempt for people like you
and you i'd be trying my best man i just feel like how about show a little
respect i call you right
back if you text me i'll call you right back you call i'll call you i do not
want to talk to you see
that's the thing now i'm trying to get on the right you use the uh the reaction
thing where you do a
thumbs up or a love yeah do you use that as an end of conversation it can feel
sometimes yeah i i feel
like it's how i wrap things up yeah a thumbs up feels a little or love i love i've
said a lot of
love it's too much love with love i'll talk to you later i've gotten some
passive aggressive thumbs up
sense and receive do you have the read the read receive i don't know i got my
read on i do i have
my read on oh why you got to read i hate that well just is down now you know i
didn't see it you know
i don't got my phone next to my body but i but then i look at it and then i
read it i bet you okay i'm
gonna work on mine i'm gonna work i'm too much i'm too much of a responder if
you know i'm too on it
so i'm putting it away i'm on thank you do not i'm i'm on a do not disturb
situation right now i just
sometimes i'll be in situations where i don't have my i can't have my phone in
my i like i'll just
take three hours to just like you know well but i wouldn't watch cbs i would
like to request all
our live listeners to put their devices on do not disturb because you're not
going to miss the second
of the show i know what it is um i want to just get can i just do a little
business please
and you guys are here because well we're friends i've never met you but we're
hitting it off almost
immediate yeah no things have been good kind of something i thought i had blown
it with the hug
thing but we we rebounded i think i almost i felt like i was you kind of might
have brought it i
thought i because i wanted it so bad i was like maybe i maybe i'm bringing this
wow no i think we
met in the middle there that's nice uh but you guys have a yes a podcast yeah
we're doing some
podcasting what is that the brandon jamel shows me and bjs for short if you don't
have the time to say
this yeah yeah it's me and him and uh you know the the old the old
administration ended i had i had an
old podcast you guys have all i've been on it been on it a couple times a
couple times and uh
now it's a new era you know it's a new era it's a new administration okay it's
me and jamel
how do you know jamel how did this dc comedy we started together no one since i
was crazy but a
boy he was a child i was 23. what's the age difference here how old are you if
you don't mind me
asking i'm 35. oh 35 okay he's still a young boy yeah yeah yeah not a not a
problematic age gap yeah
things are okay you know i want to ask you how old you are but can you rent a
car i'm 30 years old
30 years old believe it or not man he's telling people that too it's 30 years
old what would happen
if you applied for a mortgage on a house i wouldn't have the money for it these
are tough times yeah
in this market i know this economy we'll be right back
did you get get that gotta have them ribs he just played it he was under us
talking but i did hear
let me hear it gotta have them ribs and pussy too there it is oh is that obama
yeah yeah yeah
this is pre-ai he's quoting something right he's not he's quoting his book he's
quoting it's an
excerpt from his book he's talking about a guy on the bus who is explaining why
he cannot uh adhere to
muslim rules oh i see oh oh yeah i got you yeah okay gotta have them ribs
and pussy too and pussy too
dramatic pause is very good i added a little extra pause yeah you did you did i
like that all right let me just
say something uh first of all uh matt can i can i get some are you still what
are you in the in the
muck over there oh yeah but what do you need boss i need the teleprompter to be
up with the copy that
i have to read for the show's information for all the information oh you see
what i mean yes i do i've got
this beautiful new teleprompter and it's black it's working out the key no
offense it's just it's the
screen is black jamel i don't know what y'all see man i'm looking at notes and
well okay that's not what
i need to read uh nothing really uh i hope you're watching us on youtube.com
office hours live if you
happen to be watching this on tim heidecker's channel get out of your own ass
get off my channel and move to
this stupid new channel and that's where we're happening that's i think next
week is the last
week we'll stream on the tim heidecker channel do you understand any of this
youtube crap uh i'm
we're trying to figure it out we try to figure it out right we just started i
was i was an audio only
man on the the the old administration yeah now we've got to do now i've got i've
got to figure out youtube
and i you know talk about i don't know what i'm doing but we had we do we're
doing it on youtube
there you go but it's a you know it's a bunch of it's an uphill climb it's
mostly fun it's a real
racket dog it's not i don't think it's a racket i think that's unfair i mean i
like you know
i would be remiss to not remind you that the two tim's tour is back on the road
that's at tim
heidecker.com live that's uh this summer late july we're starting up there in
monterey
california john steinbeck territory thank you heading on down the coast heading
all over the
country we're going to be in new Orleans we're going to be in tampa all right
you imagine that me
and tampa i've been in florida in 20 years i haven't been there there doing
shows hitting the zoo
nope wise why i'm going to see the rays okay hey
the rays are killing it i love the ale uh ale's baseball talk you do oh because
you're an orioles
guys see the hat yeah you need it man i wish them the best they're doing good
we're having a nice
couple weeks and i'm sure the trains will fall off the track soon sure them and
the pittsburgh pirates
these are these are classic spring teams yes they don't really yeah and people
get injured once it
gets to june everybody's got problems yeah a couple like like baby mama issues
now the coach is getting
divorced you know i'm saying all type of you know you never know what's gonna
happen um jamel what kind
of sport don't what's like the worst sport to watch the worst because you like
a lot of sports you like
soccer too right yeah dude okay what is the worst sport to watch uh golf that
doesn't matter like
golf any day other than sunday like i wouldn't watch golf any day yeah a golf
tournament on a friday
it doesn't matter what do they watch the same tournament imagine this man if
you like golf you're
watching the same three days in a row yeah they do it again and again the
tournament is the you watch
a motherfucker play the course three times the same uh you mean it's not the
exact same uh they're not
replaying it's not a rerun no it's they are doing it they put on new polo
shirts all right and they're
doing well i mean straight hey that's that's the same same same watching a
baseball game where they're
using in the same can you imagine being watching that in person how boring that
would be you got to
stay in there no chairs just hope the ball goes by the difference between like
televised baseball
live baseball live baseball what a time it's great fun i love watching i tell
my space i mean my
but it's a different experience as did my father and my my father uh his father
that'd be a grandfather
to you my grandfather have you ever said grandfather um there was a term for
that you didn't know there's a
word is there a word for that this whole time you didn't know it was called
grand granddad um we're
going to get to your zooms and calls and everything we've got uh i want to talk
about so much obviously
there's the i think tucker is tucker in the zoom room we had i saw he was going
to call in but i don't
know if he's here yet oh i hate you tucker's firing uh just shut down the
segment we've
we've got even crowder got divorced apparently that's a fun story the the tucker
thing was that
i i read something it's it's about like rupert murdoch's ex-wife liked tucker
too much that was one
that was like a vanity fair gossipy thing no he got fired because he's telling
the truth there he is
and big pharma doesn't want that oh wait what is this what is this what no no
it's not we'll get
to it next time no that's it no that's not the one oh it's not the one we've
got to show it version
it looks like he shot it on the iphone and he brought it into premiere and he
didn't change the
settings to like you know and that happens very thumb like give tucker a spin
he'll be back okay tucker's
going to join us in the zoom room to hear what he has to say his big new plans
i have a big announcement
big giveaway big uh contest if you will um i'm going to try to explain it the
best i can um when
we were on our european tour vic bought me three postcards from sweden at the
airport that's right i did
and where was it denmark is it denmark or it's sweden
all right now one of them i'm choosing
one two three my hands are up sir i understand
i can only all i can do is is is just respect the game shout out to all our
folks in stockholm right
now watching absolutely that's a great point gotta be a couple i i had a sold
out show there baby come
on you don't think i got fans in stockholm maybe pick up the news yeah let me
pick up the swedish
that was stock 10. oh in in stockholm we about 600 people there that's legit
that's nice but anyway vic
because one of my bits in my stand-up character was i you know they have a king
there in sweden 