Name: you're in the 1920s listening to a fire podcast (relaxing experience)
Uploaded: 2023-01-26T22:40:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'you're in the 1920s listening to a fire podcast (relaxing experience)' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'you're in the 1920s listening to a fire podcast (relaxing experience)' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-26. Transcript available.

you're in the 1920s listening to a fire podcast (relaxing experience)

Nate, say something, um, commercial-like.
McDonald's.
You could be huge in certain countries, I think.
I did kind of tickle my neck.
Welcome to Joy Tactics,
the podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous,
and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger.
Enjoy.
Maybe lock them doors and turn the lights down low.
Damn, that made me look back.
Nate, you did just kind of triple tape.
I had never heard a voice like that come from you.
Eric, you have, like, crazy low range and high range, too.
Yeah, well, you realize I was in a select,
I had to audition to be in a jazz choir,
Christian jazz choir in junior high.
I can't believe they made it.
Celebration.
Wow.
Is that, like, a play on celebrate?
And then, like...
Are we starting right now?
Is this a part of it?
Celebration of...
Yeah, we're in.
I mean, the amount of joy we're experiencing.
Do you even got to ask at this point, Nate?
Do you even got to ask?
I was about to say, this is some fire, like,
some good stuff right here.
I mean, people want to know about this.
We might as well use it.
Wait, Nate, can you sing low?
No, I have, like, the worst, like...
I have, like, one, like, not...
My range can't even be...
It's not even a range.
It's, like, there's three notes that I think I can hit,
and that's it.
Like, I don't have...
Go as low as you can hit, Nate.
Three notes.
Hello.
That's low, dude.
That's low to a lot.
Was that pretty good?
But that hurt my voice.
I'm going to feel that for the rest of the day.
That's going to fuck me up permanently, dude.
That's going to call...
That's going to fuck my shit up.
Oh, my God.
That's a good way to...
There was a guy in our celebration,
and keep in mind, this is a small choir,
only, like, 12 kids.
Selected.
His name was Alex Marr,
and he had the lowest voice I'd ever heard.
And he literally,
yo, Eric, what's up, man?
And so there would be, like,
parts that they would add in
where it would be, like,
everybody goes quiet,
and then you'd just hear his low-ass voice.
And we were the type of choir
that everybody had a microphone.
That's for some songs.
No way.
Dude, I just was with a guy
who cooked me and some elderly people,
some, like, a duck stew or something in his house.
And he was, like, a 6'7",
like, 350-pound construction worker.
And he had the voice that was so low,
it literally sounded like he wasn't in the room with me.
It sounded like somebody had, like,
stuffed somebody into, like, a bag or something.
God, I wish I had a low voice like that so fucking badly.
Badly, badly.
I hate my voice so much.
And if there's anybody listening to this
and it's like,
God damn, I hate Nate's voice.
Yes, I do too.
Don't worry about it.
I do too.
Trust me.
Same goes for me.
I fucking, oh, my God.
I love the fuck out of my voice.
And I love your guys' voices too.
Self-love.
Self-love.
That's what we need a little bit more of.
You have an amazing voice, Nate.
What are you talking about?
Nate, you have a great voice.
You mean singing voice or speaking voice
that you don't like?
They both sound good.
Well, I guess both,
now that you bring singing into the mix.
But I'm just talking strictly speaking.
My speaking voice when I'm talking to you.
Nobody has a voice like yours, man.
Really?
It kind of sounds like butter.
You realize that.
Hey, say something commercial-like.
McDonald's, get your Big Mac today.
Dang.
You could be huge in certain countries, I think.
Oh, you could put Turkish.
Turkish McDonald's.
Copywriters behind that brain.
Turkish McDonald's.
Nate, do a Turkish McDonald's thing, would you?
With an accent of Turkishness?
You don't even got to do the accent.
Yeah, just give them your stuff.
The Turkey McDonald's?
What are you talking about?
A commercial for...
Turkey's Istanbul.
Do one for Istanbul's grand opening at McDonald's.
You think we're talking about a McDonald's for Turkey?
No, no, no.
I was just confused on the prompt here.
All right, so this is a McDonald's commercial.
The grand opening for a...
Commercial.
A commercial for...
McDonald's.
Commercial.
In Istanbul.
Okay, go ahead.
Hey, Istanbul.
It's the grand opening of...
I can't even...
What is it?
I can't do it.
I don't even know what to say, dude.
That's why we need some...
We need some...
I do need a copywriter behind me.
That's...
No, this is a good premise for a commercial.
Right.
If somebody starts reading the copy and they go,
Welcome to Turkey McDonald's.
Oh, you know what?
I can't fucking do this shit.
My voice sucks, man.
They're not going to like me.
They're not going to like me.
That would be vulnerable.
You know what I'm saying?
I think that would connect with a lot of people.
People in Turkey are the most vulnerable.
My most listened to song two years ago was a Turkish song.
What was it called, Dad?
I believe it was called Denji Denjin.
It sounds good off the bat.
It's really good.
You know, speaking of music, we have to get into the fucking...
The Coachella lineup.
The Coachella lineup.
It was just released.
Oh, yeah.
We will be there.
But before we do that, should we say, what's up to everybody listening?
Yeah, you heard it right in the intro.
This is Joy Tactics.
We're back again.
I'm Eric Rahel, drinking a non-alcoholic beer on the podcast.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you.
It means so much to us for you guys to be a part of this journey with us.
Eric is, again, drinking a non-alcoholic beer.
I'm drinking so many of these non-alcoholic beers.
If you're going to take one thing away from this podcast, know that here today,
we got Eric
Rahel, and he's drinking an N.A. beer.
I'm ordering them at the bars now at some points.
Really?
Well, I haven't done it recently, but you order a regular drink, get a little
buzz, order a
double, get a little buzz, and chill on that, and get a non-alcoholic beer,
then maybe a
seltzer, then see how you feel, because drinking too many.
At this age, I'm trying to reevaluate my relationship with alcohol.
You do adulting better than anyone I know.
Do you really think that, Jack?
Yeah.
Why do you think I'm being so awesome at being an adult?
You put immense responsibilities on your back.
You have sometimes too many.
You have a dog life, a cat life, a human life, also, not just yours, but your
partners as
well.
Correct.
Because these people would all perish without you rising to the occasion every
day.
I'm not ready to take that on.
I can't even hardly get, I have to think about myself like a pet.
Oh, fuck.
You could, though.
Here's the thing, though, dude.
Huh?
I mean, I don't have kids, so, I mean, that's the next step, obviously, but you
think you
can't handle it, it's kind of, you get them and it'll come, you know what I
mean?
You put the responsibility out there and you will rise to the occasion, or you
won't, and
then you will learn how to do it after that first failure.
Let me pass on some relationship advice.
If you're in a relationship, you're worried, is my partner going to continue
their habits
when we have a kid, and adding a kid is actually like throwing gasoline and
fire onto your problems?
No, they're going to change.
Have a kid, and they'll change automatically.
Oh, you're saying once the kid comes, the person changes.
Yeah, when a kid comes, all of a sudden, you stop having problems.
Your life becomes perfect after you have a child.
I have baby fever.
I want a baby right now.
What size?
I want a big, big, fat baby.
Don't say that too, you know, don't say that too close to the mic, because the
people listening
might come back up into you in a way that...
Oh, this is something that I was about to say, I saw a picture of someone that
had a baby
on Facebook, and this baby was so skinny, and it wasn't, I felt bad bringing it
up, because
I know some babies are too skinny, and they have to be in intensive care,
whatever, but
no, this baby just was a thin, little baby.
I'm thinking that.
I kind of want them big.
Ten pounds.
You want the baby to be a little chunky, you know what I'm saying?
That's how babies are supposed to be.
I mean, can't, you know, I just can't help but judge a baby when I see one for
its looks.
Oh, I have some...
Well, you just had a niece, right?
Yeah, I just had a niece.
And maybe you noticed this, but my friend had a baby who was about to turn
three in February,
and I really, I feel like I had not been around babies my whole life.
Like, I really, you know, no family friends had kids, you know, since I was a
little kid.
And so then, you know, we're playing with her, whatever.
She is so strong.
I had no idea how muscular these are.
She's all muscle.
Yep.
Isn't that crazy?
Their bones aren't even full of new.
I had no idea how muscular a baby could be.
And they're the most dangerous, because they're muscular and flexible.
The ultimate combination.
So, if you see a baby your size, run.
If babies were the size of adults, they would rip your fucking head off.
And guess what?
They have no fucking respect for you.
They have no respect for your property.
They don't give a fucking shit about our civilized world.
They are just little monsters.
And what is the opposite of baby fever?
Because I feel like I have that.
Wait a minute.
You really don't want a baby, Nate?
But you'd be the most amazing dad, Dave.
That is kind of one of the most conflicting things.
Because we would all agree that I would be probably one of the top tier fathers.
Father figures.
Fathers.
Of course.
Do you really have a lot of baby, Nate?
You don't want a baby, dude?
I think that, I think, unfortunately, I'm going to be one of those, like, 80-year-olds
with a three-year-old.
Like, I think I'm going to decide.
I think I'm going to decide way too late in life.
Like, fuck.
I think I want kids.
But I'm going to be, like, 94-year-old.
You know Three Days Grace?
The band?
Three Days Grace?
Yeah.
It's not too late.
It's never too late.
Listen, when I sing that.
Damn.
It's never too late.
Is that what that song's about?
Yeah, it's about being 80 and wanting to have a kid.
Shit.
Is it really?
That's punk rock.
Yeah.
The lead singer of Three Days Grace is 107.
I don't know.
Yeah.
You'll have a kid.
We're all, because I am imagining us three as we'll be friends for most of the
time.
For our lives.
But raising kids.
I want us to plan when we have kids kind of together.
You know what I mean?
God willing.
And our partners willing.
Yeah, we'll just go to our partners and say.
It's time.
The three of us decided.
Wouldn't that be kind of sick, though?
This is going to blow your mind.
I feel like every medical thing that I get is from TikTok.
And it's kind of poisoning what I think of as medical.
And factual information.
But this was a TikTok that said the sperm that.
So the days leading up to when you, you know, shoot the load that create the
kid.
Okay.
That sperm has.
If you had kind of a tumultuous day, like the day before or something.
You're kidding.
That is transferred into the sperm.
The person.
Into the person.
Interesting.
That will, you know, eventually.
There's no way.
Are you serious?
Again, I don't.
I want to say this was, you know, probably a false information from, like, kind
of a energetic,
like, hippy-dippy type TikTok.
But.
But they often know the most.
I can't unhear that information is what kind of what I want to say.
Is I'm like, damn, I didn't even think of that.
Like, you got to be in a right place before you, you know.
So you need to be the day before.
You need to be meditating.
Eating pineapples.
That's for something else.
Oh.
That's for something else.
The day before, you got to be extra curious.
You should just go around asking people questions all day of the day before you
get on.
Watching documentaries, too.
And reading.
And reading new books.
Oh, I'm so pissed speaking of books really quick.
You know I'm getting more into fantasy novels.
Yeah.
Of course.
And I got this book at Barnes & Noble.
It said book one.
Okay.
Book one.
Turns out this is book one of the second trilogy of this series by this guy Joe
Abercrombie.