Name: WE SNUCK INTO ATLANTIC CITY HOTEL!? - Joy Tactics Podcast - EP.3
Uploaded: 2023-02-13T12:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'WE SNUCK INTO ATLANTIC CITY HOTEL!? - Joy Tactics Podcast - EP.3' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'WE SNUCK INTO ATLANTIC CITY HOTEL!? - Joy Tactics Podcast - EP.3' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-13. Transcript available.

WE SNUCK INTO ATLANTIC CITY HOTEL!? - Joy Tactics Podcast - EP.3

I have so much talent and it's just almost, I don't even give a fuck about it.
It's a grain of sand in my beach of whatever, you know what I'm saying.
Welcome to Joy Tactics, the podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous,
and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger.
Enjoy.
Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light.
No, you're doing it all wrong.
You're doing it all wrong, yeah.
Oh, say can you see.
That's how you got to get down.
Can you imagine me in the crypto.com arena?
Getting down like that?
I would do a fucking 45-minute National Anthem.
Don't ever put me in an arena.
Don't ever put me in an arena.
If you go that hard on the first line of the song.
I would go that the whole, I would go even harder.
I know, it's like, you would, it'd be like a 40-minute long rendition.
I forgot the rest of the lyrics, actually.
Like, I was like, kind of so in it that I was like, what's the next line?
What's the next line after that?
Give me a good.
By the dawn's early light.
By the dawn's early light.
Wait, wait.
Oh, say can you see.
By the dawn's early light.
I feel like I am not in the same room as you.
We're about to get shotgunned by the people next to us.
Oh my.
By the way, we are in a hotel room.
Oh yeah, we're coming at you live.
This is the first.
You're wondering why the energy is so electric.
Yeah, it's because we're together.
It's because this is the first ever joy tag, joy tag, ticks in person.
And we're in Atlantic City.
We can right now see.
People are turning it off right now.
Well, they're out.
If you didn't get out in the first bit.
We can see that in the analytics.
This truck is about to floor it straight into the ocean.
Oh my God.
We are in a hotel room right now in Atlantic City.
If you are watching the video version, we have the most gorgeous background of
the ocean waves pouring into the sandy beaches of Atlantic City.
And this is kind of setting our mood and our brain states in a different type
of pattern.
You know what I'm saying?
Can I just say that?
I was so fucking tired.
We were setting the mics up for so long.
It was difficult setting this up technically.
And I was so tired.
I was about to fall asleep.
Right as we started the podcast, my energy, I'm not kidding you, it's out of 12.
Wow.
It's out of like, I don't need a nap anymore.
Out of five.
Because you know what gives you energy?
What?
It's entertaining people and giving people.
Responsibility.
Yeah, that's right.
Right.
Man, there's something about that when we're in podcast mode, we become a
different, we become
more different versions of ourselves.
It's like our little superhero alter egos.
Yeah.
Like altered egos.
We should all say, what are we like off the pod and on the pod?
Off the pod, I'm pretty stoic and I don't talk about my emotions that much or
like what
I'm nervous about to my friends and I work out and keep to myself on the
podcast, whatever.
I want to hear everybody's opinions and I like talking.
What about you guys?
Yeah, I don't know.
I guess off the pod, I'm like interested in just gathering as much knowledge as
I possibly
can and experiencing human life kind of as a bystander, really.
I don't want to be a main character.
I don't want to be nuts.
I just want to be dust in the wind.
And then I come onto this pod and I do, what I'm doing is I'm living
storytelling, but in
the real life, I'm just thinking about who made the pyramids.
Right.
I would say, I would say my persona off the pod and on the pod are the exact
same because
I never change for anybody or no nothing.
Right.
And I'm kidding there.
I would say I'm very like, I'm more of a reserved person IRL when I'm off stage,
when I'm not
in a kind of entertainment mode.
I can be a little quieter.
You actually can't.
Here's the thing though.
Some people are shocked about that.
You're silent but deadly.
Silent yes, like a fart.
You know, I mean, I didn't want to go there.
It's joking because that's a fart term.
Yeah.
All right.
I wasn't going to say it like that.
And I'm seeing a new wave of suicide right now, live on the beach.
There's a truck parked facing the ocean and I'm thinking, are they about to
just gun it
into the ocean and this is the way they're going out is by flooring it in the
Chevy, in the
4Runner, straight into the water.
That would be a way to go.
A beautiful way to go.
Have we talked about how we would like to die?
Trigger warning.
Trigger warning.
We've talked about how we'd like to die, but we could go into it again on the
podcast.
Well, let's talk about, hey, hey, let's talk about how we'd like to be born.
Do you want to be born into a tub?
Do you want to be born in a dirty ass hospital?
No.
No.
Do you want to be born publicly in front, at like a, born straight onto a
fucking stage
and everyone's, that's how people should be born.
Let me tell you about this.
Have you ever seen that elephant birth video?
Which one?
I've seen them all.
There's this video of this elephant giving birth, it's mama at a zoo.
Is it incredibly wet?
It is so fucking next level wet.
I mean, it's gallons of liquid coming out.
Yeah, yeah.
Hundreds of gallons.
Elephants.
It's crazy.
It's like, it's like the shining elevator doors opening a little bit, but it's
the birth
canal inside of an elephant.
And what happens is these, these baby elephants are born at like 400 pounds,
something like
this.
Right?
They're not babies.
They're not babies.
They're full grown.
Because humans stay in the womb too long, too short.
Did you know that?
Too short.
We should be in there longer.
That's why babies are so fucking useless because most mammals, they drop up out
the-
The horses, the elephants.
They drop up out the P word and then they are ready to go-
Well, elephants are similar to us in that way that they-
How so?
They are-
The skin?
No, no, no.
They are-
The memory.
Raised-
No.
Can I just fucking talk for a second?
All right, man.
Yeah.
Just go for it.
The ears.
Elephants are raised by their parents.
They don't go off by themselves like us.
You know, it takes us 20 years to go off.
We get raised by our parents?
What are you talking about?
No, no.
We-
You didn't get raised by your parents?
No, no.
Jack, listen.
They're the same, like, as us.
Like, they spend, like, maybe 15 years being, like, with their parents and not
on their
own.
Oh.
Most mammals are, like, four months.
They go through their own shit.
They're just like, okay, I'm fucking and I'm having a kid and then I'm just,
like, away
from my parents.
How long does an elephant live?
Oh, 80 years.
Really?
Or something like that.
So there's- I feel so mad for people listening to this that are, like, using
our knowledge
as, like- You know how you listen to a podcast and you're like, I heard
something on a podcast
and, like, they said this fact.
Well, you could trust 90% of what we say, but-
But 10% is egregiously wrong.
But egregiously- Oh, but let me finish what I was saying about the elephant
birth.
Oh, yes, yes.
So what happens in this birth story, it's so- It's, like, moves you to tears
almost.
It also makes you nauseous.
It's so gross.
The amniotic sac, it's supposed to break when it hits the ground.
You see what I'm saying?
It's supposed to go- And it's supposed to-
So that otherwise you'll be stuck in the sac.
Right.
And so the- But it's broken and the elephant is stuck inside of the sac.
And so the mama has to break it.
Yeah.
And then the baby elephant's lying there, not breathing.
Because it's suffocating in the sac.
Because I think something had been wrapped around its neck or something.
It's not breathing, whatever.
And you hear the zoologists, whatever, the zookeepers, who I think are modern
criminals.
They're standing around and they are going, oh, but they can't do anything.
It's up to the mama.
And so the mama-
Why can they not do anything?
Because there's nothing you can really do for that.
You can't, like, give a CPR to a-
Oh, I see what you're saying.
And so what the mama starts doing is it starts smacking this baby elephant all
around.
And it's trying to get the heart going, trying to get the lung, the fluid out
of the lungs.
And it's so fucking crazy.
You get smacked all around.
And then all of a sudden, you see-
And elephants are born with a full-
It's like they are born with veneers.
And you see it breathing like this.
Oh, that's not tight.
Opening its mouth like this.
Oh, my God.
Nothing like a baby with a full set of teeth to freak you out.
And it's fully born and breathing.
And then it gets up on its legs.
And it's like, oh, my God.
That's life fighting to exist.
And that's a life that almost didn't make it.
But you want to talk about trauma?
Imagine being born and the first thing that happens is your mom starts speaking
the shit out of you.
Some of y'all need to be born like that.
Right.
Some of y'all need some attitude adjustments.
Some of you guys need to be slapped the fuck around a little bit.
I know.
I'm about to put y'all-
I feel like putting some of y'all back into my sack right now and popping you
back out and smacking you.
And people really need to be reborn.
Speaking of attitude and being reborn, we don't want to give too much away
about Atlantic City because we have a whole chronicle coming out about our time
here.
The chronic what?
We're kind of the next Lonely Island in a way.
In a way.
Wow, you realize.
Yeah.
We are the opposite verse.
We are the-
What's the opposite of Lonely?
Togetherness?
Being together.
Fulfilled?
The fulfilled island?
Like the socially fulfilled land mass.
All right, but what I was saying, speaking of Atlantic City and speaking about
being rude and people need to be reborn, people here, some of the people here
need an attitude adjustment.
Good God.
I mean, I'm like, you're surrounded by food, salt water, sea air, gambling,
beautiful people.
Alcohol, parking spots, drugs.
Where are you getting this attitude from?
You can get drugs easily.
Liquor.
You can do illegal things.
You can probably kill somebody way easier here than I would say any other city.
Oh, you can just knock them out.
And it's no problem.
And they won't even be mad at you when they wake up or in the next life.
They'll be like, I get it.
We were in the AC.
I would be like, if I died in Atlantic City, I would be like, yeah.
I wouldn't be mad about that.
Well, imagine the spirits that you'd get to chill with.
There's probably some wonderful, wonderfully entertaining people who have
passed here.
Oh, for certain.
Being a ghost in Atlantic City, haunting the gambling table.
Ghost practically.
Being a sexual ghost.
That's called a succubus.
That's called a succubus.
Oh, that is a succubus.
Well, there's a lot of succubus.
I think there's a lot of succubi here.
Do you hear about people who have paranormal experiences and they're like, I
get fucked by a ghost or a ghost has sex with me?
Yep.
And they have kind of a sexual relationship with a ghost.
Yeah.
And I'm like, I want to...
Why are no paranormal things coming into my life?
Like, I'm begging the universe to be abducted by an alien for a ghost to come
and just get on top of me and let me ride them.
They ride me.
Whatever, dude.
I'm down for anything.
Like, I just want to put that out there to the paranormal, you know, like, you
know, ghosts out there.
Let me just say this, though.
Be careful what you wish for.
Because your life is pretty good, man.
I'll just say it's pretty good as is.
And if you look hard enough, guess what?
You'll find it, man.
And what you'll find is not going to be to your liking.
Well, Eric, not everybody is enemies with ghosts.
I feel like you and your background is particularly...
Right.
It makes you particularly susceptible to ghost hate.
What about my background?
All the death I've experienced?
Well, do you think that's a coincidence?
I don't think it's a coincidence.
And I feel guilty every day for all the death of my life.
But there's nothing I can do about it.
So I've got to just live and hang out with my friends.
But you have