Name: 30 Year Old Amish Triplets Drunk For First Time | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP5
Uploaded: 2023-02-20T15:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '30 Year Old Amish Triplets Drunk For First Time | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP5' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '30 Year Old Amish Triplets Drunk For First Time | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP5' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-20. Transcript available.

30 Year Old Amish Triplets Drunk For First Time | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP5

and get the most guacked up burrito that you possibly can and take a crazy
photo and send it
to us and we'll fucking repost it. The guacarito. The guacarito. Welcome to Joy
Tactics, the podcast
dedicated to all things joyful, joyous, and meeting as many celebrities as
humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Meg Veroni, and Jack Bensinger. Enjoy. All right, it's
about 2 a.m.
We are at the Ocean Casino Resort and it's our last night in Atlantic City and
we're just
doing a post-mortem on sort of what occurred here. So as you can tell just from
the tone
of our voice, straight up, that our journey was not a success in many ways. We
kind of
trusted that we would be taken care of by the universe and we've been let down
harder than
some professional boxers. What's so fucked up about this is that last night,
because last
night we probably have a clip that maybe we've already played or we will play
about me talking
about the duality of luck. Yeah. To where, oh, sometimes you're up, sometimes
you're down,
sometimes this, sometimes that. Tonight, it was so weird. It's almost like they
had cameras
on us. It makes me think that all the casinos are connected because we went to
about five
different casinos. And at every single one, loss, loss, loss, loss. It was
weird. It was
just weird. It was just odd. It was suspicious. It was just like, oh, really?
How could we be
losing this hard at every single fucking slot machine at every table we go to?
Yeah. It just
fucked up that, because we were winning at one point. At one point it was
winning, winning,
winning, winning, winning, winning. Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up,
up. I can't
believe that this casino is giving us this money right now. And then it's just
crashing down.
Boom. And meanwhile, everybody else around us is kicking out. I'm like, are we
the only freaking
people? Everybody else here is some weird person that works for the casino. We're
actually the
only fucking people in this whole town that are real. Well, because let's walk
the listeners
through what happened yesterday. We get in last night. We do the casinos. And
you heard me
every time the slot machine made a noise, I'd go, bling, bling, bling, bling. I'd
make
the noise back. And I was making that noise hella last night. Yeah. Maybe too
much. Yeah.
And then we get to the three card poker at the resort casino. It's called Resort.
Yeah,
it is. And it was $5 limit, or $5 minimum, meaning that you only had to play $5
per hand. Amazing.
Amazing. You can last for a while, just be chilling. And Jack and Nate learned
how to play, our plan.
I get down to my last, but I'm having fun. And I'm going up and down and up and
down, which
is what I feel like gambling should be. Up and down. Up and down. Then I'm
getting down to
my last chips. And I get down to literally my last hand. And what happens? I
get, what
did I get, Jack? A straight flush. A straight up, a flush. This is what every...
Straight flush. That means consecutive, all same, uh, flush. Every single
gambling addict dreams
of this moment. Oh, this is... Where they are down to their last fucking penny.
Right. And
the gambling gods grace you with a crazy ass, statistically unlikely win. And
Eric got that. Some
crazy... It was insane. I know. You didn't even, you didn't even know what you
were winning.
No, I didn't even fool. You were shocked by it. And by the way, you guys knew
even less
of what I was winning because I was paying a little more attention. But I put $100
down
on the table. I was down to my last $5 for that bet. Boink. Put it down. Oh,
she goes,
oh my God. She can't believe it. She was shocked. She pulls out not one, but $200
chips. She
pulls out not one, but two $25 chips. Then she pulls out not one, but two or
three or four,
$5 chips. So I got $270 in chips. I said, this is a sign from God. Good night.
And what did
we do? We left the casino. Cashed out on a high. On a high. Do we fucking go?
We're in Atlantic City.
It's time to rock out. Uh, and then we went to bed. And then the next day is a
little day
called Friday. Now this is a different day of the week because you come in on a
weekday
and they see you, they, they look at how many days you're staying in the hotel.
Okay. Eric
Ray has booked two nights at the whatever oceanic casino. So night number one,
let's lure him in a
little bit. Let's give him something. Let's let him win a little bit. Yeah. We
have his information
at social security, his profile picture. Yeah. They got too much. They got
cameras on them.
And then by the end of the, and then, okay. Number two is his last night. Now
let's
fuck him off. Let's let him see the real cards we have. Let's put aces on the
table against him.
Let's put a pair of twos on the table against him. And meanwhile,
I'm collateral damage. Actually, I don't lose that much.
How much did you lose?
All right. All right. That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money.
Let's just be honest about the money. Let's just be honest. Let's just be
straight up. Let's not even
just, let's let people know. Like not a lot of people will do this where they
will let you know
how much they're down right now in a gambling scenario. Okay. And we're just
going to let you
guys know just so that maybe if you're going to a casino, you can know what are
the potential
dangers of doing so. And we're, we're able to, we're able to kind of provide
that for you guys
and kind of save. We probably saved, by the way, we probably saved a lot of
people hundreds and
thousands of dollars by just doing this ourselves. Not to say don't come here
because it's beautiful.
Well, it is beautiful in its own way if you're up, but yeah. Okay. But so for
personally me,
I took out $260. God, I'm so full right now. I took, I took out $260 from an
ATM last night.
Okay. Then I was up, I lost some money from there, but then I was up to 70. So
I forget what it was.
Now, after everything said and done, even after my big win last night, when I
went up to almost $400,
back down to about $80. And I put a total of $28 in over two nights, I think.
And I'm down,
yeah, $28 total. I'm not, I'm a conservative gambler. I can't, I like money too
much that,
and I know that any hand that I put down, whether it's a slot machine or a
table, it's just gone.
I've just done it too many times. I know, you love the fuck out of money.
But you don't know the bills. I like money too much to lose it. And I know that
I'm going to
fucking lose it if I put it down on the table. Just, it just, it just
statistically every time,
I've never been up. I've never won money from a casino. And today and yesterday
is no difference.
And I should mention, it is fucking 2am right now on a Friday night. We're in a
hotel.
The hotel is fucking trashed. We've had about two beers each.
But I know, no, no, no, be honest because we've had about,
yeah, we've had two beer. Sure. You're right. We have had two beers, but then
we had two tequila
sodas and two, and two shots of tequila. So what does that put us at? Six
drinks.
We're irresponsibly podcasting right now. A lot of people say that you should
be sober when you
podcast, but we think that we should be liquored the fuck up and give you guys
the motherfucking truth
and be more honest and talk shit about people that we wouldn't normally do in
our real lives.
Oh, we're about to go in on our virtual channels. We're about to, we're about
to say things that
will blow your mind and shit that we would never say on the podcast normally
when we were sober as
fuck, which we are on most of them. Actually all of them. People are just like
so glued to what we're
saying right now and like pressing their headphones closer to their head to
hear even more of what we're
saying. Yeah, because the audio is so low. What are they going to make a
fucking headphone that goes
closer to the fuck to your ears? Well, they have that for people who are hard
of hearing where
you can connect your, um, they have like internal hearing aids, you know? Yeah.
And you can connect
that to Bluetooth, I think. Oh, right. And that, that's basically like music in
your,
right in your brain. Right in your brain. Buddy, back to Atlantic City. Let's
walk them through
the whole weekend a little bit. What we ate last night, what we do guys. It
wasn't just gambling.
No, it wasn't just gambling. We met so many people and so many people were like
coming up to us and
shit and it was just like so much of this was beautiful. So I don't want to be
like just talking
shit but... We did have a lot of beautiful human interactions. Oh, right.
Dancing with people. Oh,
we got dance all up upon. Okay, let's talk about what are the, because we're
talking about right
now a lot of the negatives of gambling in Atlantic City, but what, what does
Atlantic City have to
offer that is positive? Here's what it is. It's a crumbling city. It's falling
apart. There's,
there's more sadness on the streets than you can imagine. Uh, you don't feel
safe walking around.
We, we literally asked a Uber driver. We said, he's from Atlantic City, born
and raised here. And we said,
is this the worst Atlantic City's ever been? He said, yes, this is the worst
year that he can ever
remember. So he claims. Yeah. He said, I mean, this is one person, but this is,
we're in the worst
version of Atlantic City ever. But he said, but it's on the way up. Potentially.
It's on the come
up. Somebody who went to college is now the mayor. There's, there's, there's,
uh, some kind of crazy
ass mayor that is changing things around. The mayors can change the game. The
mayors can, the local
politics. And that's why we, we need people to be voting at the local level.
And that's what we care
about. A lot of people care about this national federal type shit. We are
saying we need to organize
grassroots movements around local politics because that's where the real change
happens. And a lot
of people don't know that shit. Right, right, right. That's exactly right. You
can tell that a mayor
is good. If you get into the town, you can count the, you know, look at the
amount of sidewalks and
Chipotles because we walked into this town right when we pulled in and the
sidewalks were smoother
than anything I've ever seen. Oh, they're shooting portions that are gorgeous.
Cause you walk,
you drive in, it's J crew, it's Nike outlet. Yeah. It's Chipotle. Yeah. It's
Panera.
And we all think whatever. Oh, that's funny. Like only losers from the suburbs
go to those places.
But if those places are done right and they're designed modernly, it's so
inviting and it's so
incredible and it makes for an amazing type of town, not a night out type of
town, whatever.
I'm saying we need a Chipotle sponsorship. We've mentioned Chipotle on every
single podcast.
Yeah. So I feel like we will in the future every single time. And I guarantee
you, we have already
made Chipotle as a corporation at least $56. I swear to God, because somebody
has gone out on
every single episode. We mentioned Chipotle in some way, shape or form. And
somebody is saying,
I need myself a fucking chicken burrito bowl right now. I need myself a quesadilla,
a kid's meal. You know what I'm saying? You guys are talking about the all
block burrito. The all
block burrito. Yeah. Yo, somebody, somebody right now needs to, I don't think
this has ever been done
before. Go to Chipotle and say, when they say, do you want rice or beans? Say,
no, I want,
I want guacamole instead of rice, instead of beans, instead of chicken and get
the most guacked up
burrito that you possibly can and take a crazy photo and send it to us. And we'll
fucking repost it.
The guacarito. The guacarito. It's kind of like how, like, you know,
people have their own McDonald's meal. Like, what are the, people have like...
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Joy Tactics Chipotle custom meal. The Joy Tactics Chipotle
guacarito.
Oh my God, I would die if I fucking had that. It's an all block burrito.
Or, or I will say this, don't take a picture. Get that bitch fucking guacked up
and take