Name: Love Me Thru The Phone | EP. 7
Uploaded: 2023-03-06T18:43:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Love Me Thru The Phone | EP. 7' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Love Me Thru The Phone | EP. 7' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-06. Transcript available.

Love Me Thru The Phone | EP. 7

There's so many ways to be killed.
You could kill someone with a sock.
Yeah, if it's wet enough.
Welcome to Joy Tactics.
The podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous,
and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger.
Enjoy.
Well, it's people trying to bide our style.
So many people are trying to bide my style.
Fashion-wise and whatever, personality-wise, podcast-wise.
I hate biters.
There are so many clones out there of Eric right now.
But I will say this, Eric.
This is going to shock you.
What?
One of the biggest hubs.
So I'm going deep, deep diving into the analytics of this podcast.
I love hubs.
We're getting every sort of numbers.
And we can track any sort of listener of where they're at in the United States.
We know every single thing about you, baby, maybe better than you know your
fucking self
through the magic of these technologies.
And one of our top listener areas in the United States is none other than
Seattle, Washington.
And I have to think, Eric, you're from Seattle or whatever, a suburb of Seattle.
You would say that, right?
It's a suburb?
Yes.
Can I just say, this is off the bat making me so pissed I missed the 10-year
reunion that
they just, we missed it because of COVID and that now it was the 12-year or
whatever.
If I had gone, oh, I just want to, ah, ah, ah, ah.
That's playing as I walk into the fucking room.
Yeah, you're like Max Keeble's Big Move and his, Max Keeble from Max Keeble's
Big Move
but in his 30s.
Yo, do you know, I went to a school with a girl that was in Max Keebler's Big
Move.
No way.
And I had my mom talk to her mom about how I could get into child acting
because of it.
Well, you dodged a bullet, man.
Thank God.
Unless you were in a movie.
Unless you were in a child actor.
Well, you being a child actor, you know, part of that contract is you have to
be an adult,
not necessarily offender, but you have to be an adult person who's not doing
that well.
I've seen a lot of interviews with people who were in movies when they were on
the younger
half of their life, let's say 12, 13, 14.
And when you see them in interviews when they're older, the way that they speak
is in such a
way that it's like, did you get hit by a car mentally or something?
Because there's some trauma in there deep down and it just makes me ashamed.
It makes me feel like, are we a version of that?
Are we seeing success too young right now?
Should we have waited to start a podcast until we were 70, 80?
No, no.
And I want to say this about the child acting thing because I feel like there's
a couple
rotten apples in the child actor bucket that just spoil the fun for everybody
else.
Most people that were child actors grew up to lead amazing lives.
They were enriched by their experiences on these TV shows, made more money than
they knew what
to do with.
It was a blessing from God.
So the minute that I hear people talking shit on child actors, I'm like, get
the fuck out
of here right now.
I'm of a child actor advocate in that.
I think more children should be actors.
We need to start a TV show that is just stars all children and it goes for like,
you know,
25 seasons and we can show the world what it's like to, you know, just, just
kind of change
the narrative on child actors and you, you know, give them all the tools that
they need to
succeed mentally and cause we, what are we, I mean, I mean, we can't exist in a,
in a industry that
doesn't have children acting.
We need children to tell these stories so badly because children have so much
to say and they're
so ripe with drama and they need to be, um, we need, we needed them to have
their own reality
shows.
I'm saying take the parents out of the equation instead of a mom and a dad or a
grandma or a
step mom or whatever, why don't we have a DP and assistant camera operator, a
line producer.
These are the people who can help us help the kids help themselves discover who
they are
live on camera.
What could be more valuable than that?
Ah, well, you should watch a, I have a show for you then.
It's called Kid Nation and this shit came out in the two thousands and I wanted
to be on
it so fucking bad.
What's that about a radio or something?
No, this was a create, almost like a social experiment where they give kids
this crazy
ass ranch and they let them govern themselves and it's only kids.
Oh yeah.
And if they get sick, get, guess what?
It's only children.
They got to go to another children, child.
And these children have crazy methods of trying to heal the, heal the sick and
the wounded.
And a lot of times it didn't work, but that's how you learn.
I used to buy meatballs at a meatball shop from a 12 year old in my
neighborhood.
Really?
So that's not a child actor, but that's a person who's a child who's working.
Should we reverse the sort of the laws against child labor?
Cause you know, in some instances I feel like some children could really learn
a lot from
working in a grocery store at the age of eight or so.
Hell yeah.
Well, school is unpaid labor.
I think it's time to revisit that law.
The child labor law.
Can I say, yes, we do need to make revisions to these laws, but B, we have to
be careful
about it.
So we need like a child ambassador to basically speak up for, because, okay.
So we need, we need a children's.
Okay.
So you can't vote in elections until you're 18.
We need an election that you can't vote if you're over 18 so that the kids can
have an
ambassador representative in Congress, kid Congress.
But then guess what?
We're going to be seeing a lot more candy stores, a lot more fucking, and then,
but if
that's so bad, if that reflect, if that reflects the population, then that's
what they want.
Maybe you don't, Oh, people are so used to there not being candy stores or
whatever.
Right.
How much of a shame is it?
Because adults have all the stores, right?
And how fricking boring is it walking around?
And how often do you see a McDonald's play place or a trampoline park?
And you're like, man, why is it only that 25 Hasidic children are allowed to go
jump
around and I've got to feel weird if I show up high as hell, there should be a
place for
people to do that.
So, well, and I guess it's so interesting to think about because like if kids
were running
the way things go, there wouldn't be a store.
There would be no money.
It would be like a candy library and you get to go in, Oh, freaking suck on a
book, but
you got to give back a little bit.
You got to give a, you know what I mean?
No, you got to give a little labor to get it.
Do you think you're saying like a co-operative children run?
Co-op type of candy stuff.
But let me ask you guys this.
Now we as adults, we have a violent tendencies.
We start conflicts and arguments with each other.
What makes you think that the children won't start wars within themselves and
with other
nations against the other kid governments?
I say let them.
What?
Let them.
Right.
Because that, if, if, if only these people like George W. Bush and Rutherford,
whatever
Hayes, if all these people had gotten that, learn that lesson as children, how
better off
we'd be now?
Because these people never grew up because their dads and whoever said, Oh, it's
time to go
to Harvard, how to do this.
If they had learned not to start wars as kids like we did, then when they get
into office
as adults.
Yeah.
There's something to be said about having a, you know, kids have a tough life.
You know, they kind of learn, they grow up fast.
And we were, we were talking about how like this, what's the gen alpha might be
a, um, they're,
they're going to be one of the hardest generations of all time.
Yeah.
Well, I want to remind you, I just read this amazing book and I couldn't put it
down and
I, whatever it did.
I do my own book reports, by the way, just for my own eyes.
I do many pages long and I do book reports on all type of books that I'm
reading.
And I just did my own book report on a book, amazing book called Lord of the Flies.
You know about this?
I've heard of this.
Let me Google it.
Interesting.
Lord.
This is a popular book.
Lord of the Flies.
Well, guess what?
It's not about some type of bug.
It's a British book.
Lord.
It's about these, and they kind of reinvented this with the new amazing show
Yellow Jackets,
by the way, similar idea.
Basically, these boys are shipwrecked on an island and the, their captain dies,
whatever
so it's just the boys.
And you're, you're wondering, do the care, are the kids going to get violent?
Well, let's just say there's a character named Piggy in this book that gets his
ass handed
to him quite literally.
He's beaten to death.
What age is Piggy?
12, maybe 11.
It's a tragedy.
I don't, I mean, this is fiction, I think, but I think it's not so fictional
because this
is probably what would happen.
You know what I mean?
So, Lord of the Flies is about a bunch of people going on a boat and the adults
leave
the boat and so it's only kids now?
It's just the kids.
There's a shipwreck.
I think it's a shipwreck and the kids are stranded on the island and it's just
kids.
So, it's basically Kid Nation.
No adults.
Jimmy Neutron style.
Huh?
So, it's like Kid Nation but in a book.
In a book.
And the kids go berserk because guess what?
Once they get a little hungry, they get a little violent too.
And Piggy gets fucking wrecked.
And, but then the adults come and well, they have to face what they did in
their primal
state of violence.
That sounds like adult, just to say this, I know this is probably a respected
book.
That sounds like adult propaganda because let me say, there's stories of other
adults.
I bet this wasn't written by a child.
Have you seen Lost?
Have you seen Lost?
Because they do some pretty messed up, effed up SHIT to each other and that is
similarly
a Lord of the Flies style situation.
Why is there so much violence in entertainment?
Most popular games, Call of Duty.
Most popular shows, Last of Us, Killing.
Most popular, it's so gruesome.
I'm like, can we just get away from this violence for one ass minute?
We need some more like kind of Regis Philbin type shows out there.
He was a monster.
Regis Philbin was?
No, he was not.
Don't say that.
No, he was not.
No, but I did hear that him and Kelly didn't get along so good.
No, they didn't.
They were not friends.
You watched that on-screen magic.
You got to be kidding me.
Regis and Kelly?
No, no, no, no.
They did not like you.
Well, I think that Kelly didn't give Regis the time of day because I heard an
interview
where he's like, I haven't talked to her since the show ended.
I've reached out.
Are you serious?
Well, I'm like, Kelly, guess what?
You can't reach out to him anymore because he's six feet underground.
Well, he can reach out to her in her sleep when he's a demon.
I would love to be haunted by fucking Regis Philbin.
He probably wouldn't.
I would body it if he started, if a ghost started asking me who wants to be a
millionaire.
I just do feel like I'm waiting to be on that show.
Go ahead.
Ask me a question.
A general knowledge question.
How many dollars would it take to buy a 2014 Toyota Camry?
All right.
Let me Google it.
2014 Toyota Camry.
People don't understand that this show wouldn't even work.
Can I guess?
Wait, can I guess?
Can we all guess?
You can guess, but I know the answer.
Oh, I'm going to get this right on.
$11,000.
$10,000.
Nope.
Nope.
What year?
What year is it?
What year is it?
2014.
2014.
This is Toyota Camry.
$15,000.
You want me to give you four options like Bruce Philbin?
It's $14,50.
No.
$14,500.
All right.
I'm going to give you four options.
All right.
$183.99.
$96.95.
$26.99.
$15,412.
Dude, you made this too fucking easy, you realize.
It's $15,000.
These are the first four results on Google.
So, I didn't do anything.
How did I know it was going to be like $10,000, $11,000, or almost $15,000?
That is too much for a car.
Tell me how I know that shit.
My brain just holds on to the weirdest information.
Wait, have you guys heard about this?
The self-possessi