Name: Respect To The Monarchy | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP.16
Uploaded: 2023-05-08T11:00:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Respect To The Monarchy | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP.16' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Respect To The Monarchy | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP.16' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-08. Transcript available.

Respect To The Monarchy | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP.16

can i say this to whoever is uh powering the simulation right now whoever's
playing us sim
style can you give us a break dude leave us alone girl whatever leave us the
fuck alone and just let
nobody die please we're tired man we're tired welcome to joy tactics the
podcast dedicated to
all things joyful joyous and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible
hosted by eric
rahill nate veroni and jack bensinger enjoy nate i feel like you should really
do the honors this is
your wheelhouse here yeah no yeah yeah for sure i'll take it um so this week
has been really special for
me and for my family just because as you guys know i'm british and
and i try to hide my accent it's really hard to do but um yeah this has been a
big moment for me
the coronation is happening this week and uh yeah my king is you know he's the
king now my king
yeah well you were saying a lot of people were like bummed for queen um
to be to be dying but you are kind of like i'm i'm tired of her it's time for
the next you've been oh
yeah you've been at prince charles head since as long as oh yeah i was outside
the fucking royal
hospital when the queen was dying i was like die die i was uh i was rooting on
you were the one
standing out because most people were standing outside of that hospital
throwing medicine they
whatever medicine i know yeah advil hoping that some advil landed her mouth or
something because
you know they they don't have advil in the uk they have something called paracetamol
and so because that ibuprofen is deemed too dangerous so people yeah we should
be checked we
should have checked some advil too in the queen's mouth wow wait oh ibuprofen
is dangerous um yeah i
think it's not someone had an uber driver that we know that was talking to them
they're like every
time you swallow an ibuprofen it's like a grenade going off inside your body oh
well so you speaking
a royalty you know who's the royalty in the u.s the pharmaceutical companies oh
yes literally yes
so how king pfizer queen queen queen whatever the other ones are astrazeneca or
whatever they british
um no that's a good point who do we who do we worship okay we we come down it's
so easy for
for us to come down on on the uk you fucking idiot you guys have a king queen
you fucking dumbasses
meanwhile what are we worshiping corporations money franchises celebrities
material goods
highways yeah god yeah we're such losers we need to be more like the u fucking
k
we do absolutely and you know what i'm not even scared for the decline of the u.s
like everyone's
just so frightened that the u.s is not going to be like you know the number one
you know thing in the
world and it's like just our model is the uk you know what i'm saying they used
to be they were the
last kind of superpower right before uh we are the uk right like with the uk
came over here as far as i
know a bunch of british people got on boats and came over here to try to get
something and then what
happened was essentially they thought they said we're tired of paying taxes let's
be our own thing
so this you know this is britain by all means and some people do believe that
um isn't there some law
that says we're still britain have you has anyone heard of this i don't know i
don't know about that
that might be more of a conspiracy thing but i'm not i'll familiarize myself
and we'll get back to it
i read something crazy that british accents only became real after america
started like the united
states of america started existing because they wanted to separate them
themselves them from the
colonists oh and so i don't know i read this somewhere they were talking like
this and what
about they're talking like pirates yeah i think it was more pirate style and
then yo hey so wait they
went to like they were like it's mad brick out here they went to like accent
classes or something
like oh we gotta all like adopt this so somebody had to invent an accent like
right it's not worth
looking up but let's just pretend like that's jack jack do your thing dude like
the axolution the
accent revolution you gotta invent a new accent wait wait trust me it's on the
way don't even
worry about it can everybody please this is the challenge a real earnest
challenge go through and
do your best british accent gun in your mouth uh if you don't do it speak with
a gun in my mouth
well it's in the mouth at the beginning and that's when they tell you the
command and then they just
take it okay and then you got that taste of metal up in there yeah so put that
in there too
and now just do a british accent yeah be asking me for be ordering a sandwich
hello i can only do it
if i'm pissed off like i can only do a british accent if i'm like it's like you
can you do that
working class guy that we were yeah but no we want we're doing this is the royals
episode so we need
to do oh yes the classy one british yeah none of that low class and don't feel
bad about yourself
when you hear this because we're trained thespians we know the different
dialects of the region so
this will just be a fun little uh moment to show y'all what's possible if you
study phonetics and
whatnot right okay so i'm i'm walking up um ordering a sandwich so this is
classy so i'm coming up i'm
going yeah hello there um can i have a um i'll have a little bit of a sandwich
for me so can i get
some cheese on it ain't some guy now why do you why do you sound like you you
sound like you uh i
don't know like a little boy you sound like you have the thickest glasses on
the planet like two
inch two inch thick glass with the office space coke bottle glasses maybe that's
what i mean stapler
the why do you look so tiny right now for some reason you look about eight
inches tall nate i don't
know what it is i don't know i shrunk dude that was pretty good that was real
real good sometimes i
can really go off it's just like it's a day-to-day thing i feel like with british
accents for me yeah
like i can really go in some days but i really like that lower class that
fucking poor peasant style
british accent that's where i really can tap in wrong to it yeah that sounds
like it should have
been a british guy wow okay so all right all right all right eric you're uh you're
stepping up to the
plate all right all right all right um i'm ordering a sandwich or what do you
want me to do
i think i i think you should go up and you're ordering a uh let's say let's
keep it british style
you know you're you're ordering a cup of tea you know yeah it's tea time all
right hello
hiya nice to meet you just just curious is are you still serving tea or are you
closed
why are all of our accents like the most beta like version of like oh you want
to go
alpha with it i want i want alpha oh yeah hi a bitch
are you closed you walk in because the alpha is kind of the like tom hardy brawler
the gypsy brawler you won't get me a fucking sandwich yeah i that's a little
good fellas
a good fellas that's the good blokes that's the good blokes all right jack all
right so you want
me to be ordering something else because we got food we got a drink drink you
are ordering a
surgery at a drive-thru window eric just fucked around and said one of my old
bits to me
oh my goodness you're burning material eric's burning my old material for jack
um yeah that's one of my hilarious bits no no you are um you just got in a
fender bender with
somebody and it's your fault and you're apologizing okay
oh man right in the back of the head
that might have been australian that was i don't think i can do british i think
i only do australian
hello there wait yeah i don't think i've ever heard you like do a accent right
i tear it up wait i'm
pretty good but i don't know what i'm doing always hello man it seems what's
happened here is i've just
ran out all right in the back of the head in the back of the car car here now
that's actually amazing
well i can't tell what which one i'm doing
you know my parents had a family a friend that they went to church with who
went to london for two
weeks and came back with a like uh his attempt at a british accent and as if
like he had like
absorbed the culture so hard and he still to this day speaks in that british
busted accent that's a mental that's a mental illness he might have eaten some
bad food that got
you know you know what i'm saying when you drink like water and it's got
horrible toxins and the bacterium invade your brain and change you so of course
prayers prayers to him
prayers prayers there's so many of my family you ever think about this of like
your parents family
friends most of them got to be down by this point down for the count dead most
of your family are
family friends just all those people you met at church when you were like six
and they looked old
as fuck they're all oh you didn't get the memo yeah almost everybody i ever met
growing up is probably
dead at this point oh man god bless we this this episode is about the royals
and how much we love
the coronation how much we love the process but you know and we were joking
about the queen passing but
we were we were uh not ashamed to hear that but saddened to hear that yeah i
heard she died much
more painfully than we're led to believe yes it was okay that's one of my jokes
that's one of my
god if we could just go into him if we could just go into our act right now it
would just be why not
all right let's do it do you think she had a quick death though i mean we can
get into it because i'm
curious at that age it might just be boom well was the autopsy released let's
google it um i don't think
they gotta do it no they don't they don't they don't do the autopsy on the oh
you're not allowed
to the queen no no i i just i don't know i just want to send love to the royal
family right now
because people are like i'm seeing people working class people get so pissed
off about the royals
and the expenses because of the coronation and and kind of the bad optics of
you know wasting money on a
single family that doesn't deserve it but come on now you know what i mean we
need these we need these
royals of course i mean it's it's what it is is it's human art like you go to
new york city and you
see what's the best thing that ever happened in new york city the vessel in hudson
yards it's this big
metallic honeycomb looks like halo halo 5 honeycomb or something yeah and
unfortunately it's shut down
right now because a bunch of teenagers committed suicide off the top of it
right but what a royal
family is is essentially uh a human structure it's an organic uh version of art
it's made out of
matters such as dna etc right and you know what well you mentioned art and i
feel like art and royalty is
so intertwined yeah because back in the day you i don't think you could even
create art without it
being you know any approval basically the headshot of the king you know you had
to paint that there was
nothing there was nothing that was art was so intertwined with religion and
royalty and there was
never somebody just doodling like a picture of cat dog or something like that
or drawing like a dragon
ball z character like people didn't do that back then no right much not as much
but they wanted to
they wanted to but they right well what is it that why is it that rich people
love art so much and poor
people don't like if you go to a museum there's hella wings of the museum named
right like the sackler
family exhibit right where are the poor people doing that why is that because
when you're rich
you have all your essentials except for maybe love which you might not get
through money but
which is what a lot of these millionaires don't realize is that money can't buy
everything can't
buy me people are thinking about whatever their next meal whatever all these
things they can't be
thinking about they can't get to that mindset of art because they have their
focus and that's a shame
that's why everybody should be rich and the three of us live outside of the
confines of rich or poor or
anything right we're we're all so middle class in the most best