Name: Video Games | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP.25
Uploaded: 2023-07-10T11:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Video Games | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP.25' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Video Games | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP.25' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-10. Transcript available.

Video Games | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP.25

I think we need a genocide about most of the Pokemon and get it back to the
original 151.
Welcome to Joy Tactics, the podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous, and
meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger. Enjoy.
How interesting. We're back.
We find ourselves back once again, against all odds.
They said that the last episode would be the last one we ever do.
Right. And they're always wrong. We're always like climbing up from the ashes,
Phoenix rising.
No, we're fucking back once again.
Nate almost didn't make it.
For an amazing episode.
I'm literally sick of people doubting us, you know?
It's really been pissing me off lately.
Yeah, me too, man.
I'm kind of downright sick of this shit.
People doubt Nate. People like laugh at Nate if he's on the highway or
something and you look to the left or look to the right.
Whoops, dropped my phone.
There's people who are like borderline getting in car accidents because they're
laughing at Nate so bad.
They're like, where's he going?
Where's he going?
And the funny thing is that I use that as fuel, which a lot of people think
that they're putting me down.
But it's actually, that's my fuel source.
You know who they used to laugh at?
You know who they laughed at all the time?
Like they're laughing at you pointing and like, ha ha ha ha, looky poor guy.
The hunchback of Notre Dame.
Yep.
What did he do?
He jumped off a roof?
Hunchback ass.
I forget what he did, but it ended up being awesome.
Doesn't he jump off a roof?
He very well might.
He's got that type of swag where he can jump off roofs.
Eric.
What?
I think I remember what happened to him.
What the fuck happened to him?
Isn't there a big party going on and some people come and they try to fuck it
up, but then the hunchback is there and he stops the bad guys?
No, that's Mulan.
No, that's the hunchback.
It must be the hunchback of Notre Dame.
Do you guys think anybody has palmed the hunch part and picked him up by the
hunt?
I don't think he was real.
You mean in the cartoon?
Yeah, in the cartoon world.
Oh, he was real, Eric.
What do you mean?
The hunchback of Notre Dame.
There was definitely somebody like that that existed back then.
It was by a bunch of people.
Back in the day when this was written in the Benedictine Times or something, I
don't know what they call it.
They didn't have the capacity yet mentally, actually, physically, mentally, to
make up stories.
So everything that was ever said or written was true.
Was true as hell.
This is what The Invention of Lying is about by Richard Dreyfuss or Gervais,
whatever his name is.
By Richard Dreyfuss.
You said Ricky Gervais.
Ricky Gervais.
Ricky Gervais.
Oh, man.
The Invention of...
What a brilliant...
We need more brilliant movies like that with a crazy...
Oh, man.
And we need more brilliant minds like Ricky Gervais in the world of...
Speaking of brilliant minds, some of the most brilliant minds of all...
Well, I don't know how to segue into it, but this episode's about video games.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's beautiful.
We just, like...
We're like...
We talk about so much, but, like, we don't talk about video games enough.
So I'm like, yeah, let's do a whole episode on video games.
And we'll probably talk about it for four minutes.
And then we'll go into our own lives, and we'll talk about aliens, and we'll
talk about
philosophy like we always do, but...
And then we'll circle it back at the very end, and then I'll try and do a
little thing
where I tie everything we talked about in together, and it won't work.
And you guys are...
We're gonna...
This is gonna blow up to the point to where it's, like, we are gonna be
interviewing people
at the Met Gala.
So you guys think, like, oh, they're just chilling.
It's kind of a fuck-around chatting podcast.
No, we're building to being at the Met Gala like Emma Chamberlain.
You know what I'm saying?
Well, it's gonna be called the Met Podcast at a certain point, Met Tactics,
where we're
gonna be bought by some medical family, and they're gonna literally force us to
basically
live in the Guggenheim for the rest of our lives as a permanent exhibit.
Oh, could be worse.
And Nate is gonna be standing there, basically...
I hate to say it, man.
I really don't mean to be bringing this up so much, but I can't get over Nate
with his
dead snakes.
Oh, yes.
Well, if you're...
Let's clue people in, because, you know, this might be a first...
There must be a first listener out there, which that kind of surprised me and
doesn't at the
same time, because we have a loyal listenership, but we're also bringing in new
people every
single episode, and the Joy Tactics Nation is expanding rapidly.
But if you don't know by now, this is kind of what I want to be doing in the
future.
I want to kind of change up my whole style and vibe, and I want to just be
carrying around
a dead snake, or maybe a close to dead snake.
And, you know, that's going to be my thing.
Just like Flavor Flav has a big clock around his neck, mine is going to be just
a dead snake
that I carry around, and I fucking whip the shit out of people with it.
So, now you're no reason to.
I'm imagining your look being so fucking sick.
It would look so sick.
Because think about how sick...
Like Cat Williams in that special.
Remember that special that he does where he talks about weed being too strong?
Yeah.
I could imagine that with the crazy belt buckle.
Isn't that crazy?
A plant can be strong.
It's like a cane, right?
It's like, it's the new cool thing.
It's like a fucking snake slapping around.
Yeah.
My God.
I just got a text message.
Video games.
Right.
Life is kind of like a video game, but we're talking about the actual, you know,
zeros and
ones programming type of video game.
And frankly, I need to say this before we talk about them.
I don't understand how this shit works.
I couldn't tell you.
I could tell you how Pong works.
You know, Pong, one of the first games.
Okay, well, so you put in a code that says when it's here, whatever, you know
what I mean?
I can explain it in an essay.
I can't explain it right now.
It would be too long to tell you guys.
But when we're talking about Skyrim or we're talking about current giant open
world games,
it seems like black magic to me that this can be done.
And it makes me confused.
I actually at one point wanted to be a video game designer.
That was kind of my, like, pathway in life.
For, I would say, the first, for at least, you know, probably eight years of my
life, I was
like, I'm going to be a video game designer.
Oh, did you have ideas for games?
Do you remember any of your first ideas?
You know what?
I had, I had this video game.
It was more, it was like a superhero that I'd come up with.
And I was like, I guess this is kind of, you know, I was like doing different
universes.
We had the graphic novel.
We had the video game.
We have the TV series and everything.
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, I'm not just thinking in, you can't put me in a box ever.
Right.
Never.
Never.
Wouldn't dream of it.
So, I mean, this is kind of a hilarious idea for a fucking 10-year-old, 12-year-old
to
come up with.
But the guys, I was like, okay, every superhero I see is just, like, jacked.
And that's their thing.
And this superhero's name is Muscular Man.
And all he is is just, like, a ripped guy.
Yeah.
He has no superpowers.
And he's just, like, has the most chiseled big muscles.
Is that what you wanted to be?
I think I did definitely want to.
I think I envisioned my adult self to be, like, really, really, really jacked
in it.
Jacked out of your mind.
Which isn't, you know, far off from the truth.
Well, it's coming down the pipeline for all of us.
Yeah, absolutely.
So, Muscular Man, and what?
It's a platformer game you're thinking of?
It was, like, I didn't get that far with it, okay?
But this is what I want to say.
I liked, I wanted to be a video game designer until I looked into what it
actually took to
do it, which was programming and learning software.
I thought it was, like.
Oh, I have to do math?
Yeah, fuck that.
I thought it was just, like, drawing and, like, coming up with, like, yo, like,
which
is a part of it, you know?
Like, I thought it was, like, oh, you get to, like, Mario is a thing, and then
there's,
like, turtles, and you jump on them, and that's what I thought video game
design was.
Ain't that life.
Ain't that everything, though.
And then I was, like, looked up Fullsale.com, and I was, like.
Fullsale University.
Fullsale University.
It's not too late.
Oh, my God.
Do we have any Fullsale alum in the door attack?
Oh, shout it out if you are.
Fullsale.
We need to.
We should go to Fullsale for one semester and do a good documentary.
I wouldn't mind that.
I need some credits, honestly.
I know someone who I went to school with who wanted to become a video game
designer, and
I heard through the grapevine that that's what he was doing.
And I checked out his website, and it made me feel crushed looking at how bad
it was.
Because there was a moment where I was, like, oh, he figured it, like, he's
going to do that
because he was a really smart guy.
And then I looked at the video game designs he made, and I was, like, this
looks just busted.
Well, dude, how do you think some people feel looking at Joy Tactics right now?
They think that they are impressed by the, A, the audio quality, B, the
seamless flow of
conversation, C, the crazy amount of knowledge we have on topics that cover
almost every part
of the spectrum of human conversation and acquired knowledge.
Well, of course, they do think that if they actually listen to it.
Right.
But maybe even not, because if they don't, because if they do listen to it,
they think, like,
is the government, like, blocking their views or something?
Because it doesn't quite make sense.
Oh, yeah, it's only 800 in YouTube.
Like, how, why are these guys getting 200 views on YouTube?
Right, it doesn't make sense.
It's almost as if they're purposefully hiding it.
But all that to say is that your best friend from college, he might have a, you
know, this
might just be the beginning.
I'm sure if you went back to his website, it might say Elden Ring on that shit.
Now.
I bet you George R. R. Martin.
Oh, shit.
Because what do you think, you think George R. R. Martin's first book was the
fucking
Silence of the Lambs?
No.
It was probably dog shit.
Yeah, probably something busted.
It was probably dog shit.
It was probably dog shit.
He couldn't even spell his first book, yeah.
I hate books.
Can we please talk about Elden Ring?
Oh, shit.
Here we go.
I feel like that is maybe a...
That's the Pirates of the Caribbean theme, but it seems medieval to me, kind of
Elden Ring.
All music is medieval.
So, Elden Ring.
Yeah.
That was an amazing game.
Here's how it works.
Yeah.
That game ruined about every dude's life in 2020.
What was that?
Last year?
2021?
2022?
2022.
So, Eric and Nate, they hit my line.
They go, Jack, we got a mystical universe that we want you to join.
It's called a video game.
And I say, no, man.
I play Halo 5, and that's it.
I don't cover anything else.
I don't need to.
I don't need...
I know my limits.
You go, no, you should really try this.
Everybody's playing it.
They're saying it's the best game to ever be made.
I go, whatever.
You know what?
I'll buy it, and I'll just log in, and then I'll put it down.
Next thing I know, I have basically trash in my apartment up to my nipples.
I didn't go outside all summer.
I gave up on my career.
I quit my job, and I didn't do anything.
I didn't talk to anybody.
These guys didn't even beat the game.
I beat it three times.
Yeah, I did.
You beat it three times, Jack?
I beat it three times.
The first time I beat it, I cheated, and I looked up hacks, and I literally
glitched through
the whole game.
The second time, I beat it goodly, and then the third time, I did it more honorably,
in
a sense, and it was emotional, but I don't know the storyline.
I didn't read any of the fucking dialogue.
I sk