Name: Joy Tactics Podcast | Recovery | EP 36
Uploaded: 2023-10-02T11:00:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joy Tactics Podcast | Recovery | EP 36' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joy Tactics Podcast | Recovery | EP 36' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-02. Transcript available.

Joy Tactics Podcast | Recovery | EP 36

You'd make a good Pokemon voiceover artist.
Thank you.
You say thank you?
You say thank you.
All right, all right, let's move on.
Welcome to Joy Tactics, the podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous, and
meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger.
Enjoy.
Well, we're back to everybody's favorite way of doing things.
Zoom, on Zoom, once again, podcasting away.
Keeping it going, keeping the train going.
Keeping Zoom alive.
Keeping Zoom.
Yeah, by the way, we're rocking with Zoom.
People are fucking back to office.
We like it digital like that.
You know, I am shocked at how much hate Zoom got for what they provided to
everybody during the darkest times, which have ever happened to us.
COVID-19.
Right.
China deserves all the information that they've gotten from all this.
Like, go take it.
You know, this is your fucking, you earned this, you know?
China wouldn't know what to do with my ass if they could fucking get it all up
in one package.
I'm too much for China, for any of these tech companies, any of these people
invading my privacy.
Good luck trying to fucking package me up, take a bite of my ass.
They have a whole department dedicated to your fucking ass.
Just to study, how does he, how does his mind work?
How is he so dark and twisted yet so?
How is he so gentle yet?
Kind of like fucking threatening, sexy, yet approachable, yet fucking about to
be rich.
What's his background?
Yeah, what's his background?
No question about any back taxes that he has to, nothing.
That's not coming from him.
How is he so bad at using light to?
I'm trying to hook it up.
I'm trying to.
Using light sources.
There we go, a little bit lighter.
So people can see his face.
It is interesting, you are a bit of a Dracula, because you have these amazing
powers, but
you are weak to certain things.
Certain things that other people would never think of, even that being a
possibility of
something to be weak to.
The sunset.
Yeah, maybe people don't know this, but I am afraid of this.
I used to be afraid of this sunset before I got my anxiety fucking dialed in,
dialed down.
You were afraid of the sunset?
Yes.
Anytime this, when my anxiety was going crazy a couple years ago, and I'm
walking the dog,
I'm walking outside, and Jack has seen this happen in real time.
It felt like werewolf.
It's contagious, by the way.
It's like the full moon comes out, and it's like, oh, fuck, it's happening.
Oh, my God.
And it just literally, like, I couldn't process reality in the same way when
the sun was setting.
It's like, the light just, like, changed everything.
I just feel like I couldn't process reality when it was happening, and it disassociated
me,
essentially.
Every time the sun set, dude.
And it was driving me mad.
Which happens every day.
Happens most days, if it's not overcast.
That's right.
And I looked this up.
The only, there's a thing called sundowners syndrome.
But guess who this, guess who's getting this?
It's 85-year-olds with dementia.
And they go bananas when the sun sets, because, I don't know, they've been
awake too.
Their brain is getting tired from being awake that long.
So, isn't that a band?
Well, sundowners syndrome?
Sundowner.
Oh.
That's really close to down syndrome, wasn't it?
Maybe it's a song.
Sundowners.
Sundowner.
But what is it?
You just go, lose your mind when the sun sets?
Nobody could explain it.
My therapist was flabbergasted.
I'm flabbergasted.
My friends think I'm odd.
And then, what happens?
I get the full rest from getting the CPAP machine, and all of a sudden, anxiety
goes away.
My personality gets even better.
And I'm no longer afraid of the sunset.
My personality is getting fucking so good.
I don't know.
I think I don't, I can't, I can't say that's true.
You had enough of my ass this last fucking 20 day.
I can tell you're fucking over my ass.
Eric's like, that's not possible.
Eric's the most annoying person on the planet.
You're just trying to chill.
He just, like, pops open, like, fucking busts the door open.
He's, like, just trying to do his little routine.
All wet.
I'm all fucking wet.
All wet?
Yeah, you know.
Eric's always licking syrup off his fingers or something.
I shook someone's hand recently who got out of the bathroom.
And, you know, people make kind of a show of, like, oh, sorry, my hand's all
wet.
And they wipe it on themselves.
This guy, just full wet.
No fucking attempt.
Just full wet.
That's me.
No apologies.
I kind of respected that.
I respected the hell out of that.
If your hand is wet from washing your hand, go shake someone's hand.
Look them in the eyes and be like, what?
You think that I just peed on my hand or something?
Like, what do you think this is?
It's so good.
Do you really think that my hand's wet right now for some sort of mysterious
reason besides
I just wash my hands?
Like, go ahead and say something if you fucking think that.
You really should be so lucky.
You really should be so lucky.
When the water wars begin, that'll be a sign of respect of, like, yo, I got you.
I've just paid $25 to wash my hands.
And I know you're fucking poor right now.
So here, take a little bit of the moisture.
Your hands are all fucking dirty.
Your fingernails look like shit, brother.
So here's a little shake.
Your hands are drinking.
If my hands are drinking, my friends are drinking.
Amen.
Well, that brings us really smoothly into the theme of today, which is recovery.
Right.
Recovery.
Let's just say that life is damaging.
Being awake, even being alive, it's like stepping into outer space, essentially,
every time
you wake up.
We're not meant to be on this plane.
It's not natural.
Every night we get all what they call sleepy and you have to go to bed because
it is so painful
to even be here.
You know what the pool of souls is from Hercules?
Oh, yeah.
It's a Disney movie.
So basically, you can go in there and you can learn knowledge and stuff from
incredible
souls from history, Greek mythology and such, but it starts wearing down on you
like a freaking
ancient Greek myth head type of situation, man.
And you got to come back out.
And that's what Earth is.
We're dying, but we ain't dead.
We're dying, but we ain't dead.
Not yet.
You know what I'm saying?
I know what you're saying.
And it is an act of deterioration.
Just being here is an act of deterioration.
It's an act of resilience.
But it wears you down.
So how do you fucking...
How do you...
I've been thrown around the country in ways people can't imagine.
L.A. twice in the last fucking month.
What else?
Oh, God.
I can't imagine that.
Not much else, but you know what I'm saying?
I've been fucking thrown across the country at thousands of miles an hour.
And I'm tired.
I know you guys are doing that kind of too, but...
Well, we...
It hits you...
How do we come back?
It hits you harder.
Because I'll say...
And plus, I gotta say this real quick.
Yeah.
I'm sick right now.
God fucking damn it.
Another joy tactician has been hit by a bug.
A germ sniper guy.
And they're trying to take us down.
What is up with germs, man?
I've still...
Whoa, what was that?
That's the germ sniper.
They're always fucking trying to get you from all corners.
You'd make a good Pokemon voiceover artist.
Thank you.
You say thank you?
You say thank you.
All right, all right.
Let's move on.
I'm not liking where this is going.
I don't like where this is going.
People are fucking turning it off.
Can I share this?
I sent this to Eric because I send him...
Sometimes I send him some really embarrassing auditions that I get sent.
I get sent the worst auditions on planet Earth.
This is a SAG-approved audition, by the way, for a new media agreement.
Of course, of course, of course.
And it's for Dora the Explorer.
Oh!
You're going to be a motherfucking napkin, aren't you?
You are going to be a Spanish-speaking napkin.
And it was for this sneaky fox.
And this is day one of my debilitating sickness where my voice is all like...
My voice is so fucked up.
I couldn't even replicate the voice that I did in this audition if I tried.
And it was maybe the most humiliating thing.
One of the most humiliating auditions I've ever done in my life.
To be a cartoony kids character.
Like, hi, guys.
What's up, everybody?
Like, are you...
It's not right.
Can you play it for us?
Like, did you definitely not get it?
Did you definitely not get it?
Well, there's no way that Dora the Explorer casting director is fucking tuning
in.
And if so, we're fucking riding with them.
It's a...
I wreck.
Okay.
Dora the Explorer.
I'm not going to play the whole thing just because I really can't.
This is the most cringy thing.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
Oh, my God.
Here, let me get a good snippet of it.
I feel like this is good.
All right.
Swipe it.
No matter what it takes, I'm going to swipe it.
Oh, God.
I'm turning it off.
I'm turning it off.
There's two minutes of that.
I probably have a 140-year fever.
You knocked it out of the park, dude.
Dude, have some pride.
Have some fucking pride because, A, that doesn't sound like you.
That sounds like a fucking napkin, Spanish-speaking napkin.
What is the role?
A fox.
The hungry fox.
You sound like a fox, bro.
And a lot of people across the world could not even begin to do what you've
just done.
So, let's give it up for Nate.
You're right, dude.
I need to have some more perspective on this.
If this sickness had gone the other way, if it had gone south, and that was
basically the
last evidence that we have of Nate Verone and the life and legacy of him, and
we're all
gathered around at your funeral, and well, this is the last we got.
This is the last thing he did.
He died on his sword, or what did they say?
He died on a shield.
He died on his fucking mic.
He died on the mic.
He didn't say, oh, I'm sick.
I'm going to, whatever, whatever.
No, the show must go on.
Even if we're on strike, we got to go get the bread that we're not going to
really end up
getting, probably.
But, there's something about auditions that brings out a version of everybody
that is
so good.
It's really good.
I'm so comfortable in an audition, and so, on a self-tape, I fucking glow in
ways that
light up the night.
Are you doing self-tape with this lighting, with the microphone in your face?
I'm doing self-tapes like so fucking close.
Oh, my God.
Hello.
Eric Rahel, 5'9", willing to shave, vaccinated, straight.
Oh, God.
Your eyes go all derp.
Man, that was a little Lonnie in there.
I miss Lonnie, by the way.
Lonnie, man.
For those who don't know, we have hilarious referring characters.
A classic character named Lonnie.
And, by the way, we've released multiple episodes lately with some, basically,
nearly A-list
celebrities on them, and people are wondering, is this a...
You guys have guests on?
Do you not have guests?
Listen, we don't know how we're doing this yet.
There's going to be some with guests, some without guests, okay?
So, that's just how it is.
You're going to have to rock with us as we develop the podcast.
We might not be the most consistent podcast on the planet in terms of branding,
visual identity,
the amount of guests that we have on, the frequency that we do have guests on.
But I'll say this.
Audio quality.
I'll say this, all right?
Yeah.
What we do have is authenticity.
And you can never strip that away from us.
And that's what the people want when it comes down to it.
They don't give a fuck about anything else except us three being the most
authentic versions
of ourselves as possible.
You know how they spell authenticity in 2023?
How's that?
S-W-A-G swag.
The thick time.
No, no, no.
Well.
I just watched that video the other day.
Yeah, it's so good.
We are not losers.
That's how I feel every day.
Dude, I haven't felt like a loser for fucking.
Well.
Well.
How many minutes?
Years and years probably.
Pretty recently.
Yeah.
Don't you feel like.
I know that this sentiment was maybe expressed a little bit on the Connor
episode.
Is that somebody was like.
Yo, you guys had fucking Connor on it.
You put a video 