Name: Being Late To Stuff | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP. 38
Uploaded: 2023-10-16T10:45:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Being Late To Stuff | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP. 38' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Being Late To Stuff | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP. 38' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-16. Transcript available.

Being Late To Stuff | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP. 38

What does DC sound for?
Duh.
Duh. Capital?
Welcome to Joy Tactics.
The podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous,
and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger.
Enjoy.
All right.
Well, we need to talk about something.
Yeah, something not cool happened this morning.
Well, also, I just wanted to point something out.
Where were you guys?
I'm talking to the listeners.
You've done probably a couple of things so far today,
and where have you been?
Mm-hmm.
We've been waiting here, inside your ears,
waiting for you to arrive.
It's good to see you.
Good that you made some time for us, finally.
Yeah.
But we're not fucking just chumps that will wait around forever.
Yeah, that's...
You should be listening to this earlier.
Well, the point that I'm saying is, you're late.
Right.
Wow.
You're late.
We forgive you.
We need to address something real quick,
before we get into this episode.
We do.
Eric, do you want to...
Do you have anything to say at all?
Sure.
Is there anything that you have to say to us, to the listeners?
Because I feel like you have sort of a responsibility right now to say
something.
I just, and forgive you if I become emotional.
I was, how do we put this, late as all get out this morning.
I woke up in a fucking panic to two missed calls, literally one text.
I was 45 minutes late to the record this morning because I have a sleep
disorder.
No, this isn't about a disorder.
Don't bring that into this.
This has nothing to do with any sort of disorder.
And be careful because don't start it with that because you don't know what me
and Nate
are going through, man.
So don't...
But that's the thing.
The excuses are a dangerous game.
I do know what you guys are going through because I listen and I'm like at all
times like,
oh, maybe they're going through this.
I'm not going to even get fucking mad.
I don't allow myself to get mad at you guys because I'm so on your side empathetically.
All right, moving on.
But no, I was late and I need to own it.
There were reasons.
I was out late last night till nearly 4 a.m. at a party that I shall not
disclose.
But let's just say you guys think we like celebrities, right?
Well, they're worst liberties afoot at this party.
And you could say that I was getting pretty close to them physically, in
physical proximity.
You didn't talk to them?
No, I don't want to disturb them, but they're looking at me like, I should know
this guy.
And why do I not know him?
And I saw them whispering to their agents and pointing at me, and their
security guards,
I think, too, pointing at me.
So I think that means something.
I don't know if that had anything to do with them.
Like, wanting to know you.
I think maybe it was you just kind of being sort of a disturbance at the party.
Listen, I'm going up to, let's just say one of the most famous people in the
world right now.
Let's just say that.
And people can guess who I went up to.
And I'm saying, I just want to say one thing, Mr. Taylor Swift.
You look gorgeous tonight.
Mr. Taylor Swift.
All right, so a little bit of background.
I mean, Eric went to support Sarah last night at the premiere of SNL for the
season.
Even though SAG's on strike, it's not a big deal.
It's totally cool.
They're on a different thing.
So we go to the after party.
I was there, too.
Had no problem showing up on time this morning.
And then on the way out of the after party, there's like a way to get out that's
really crowded
and a way to get out that's really easy.
And Eric goes, genuinely, genuinely, no, Eric is like, please, please, please,
can we go through
because I need to see Taylor Swift in my eyes.
Pathetic.
Is it pathetic, dude?
Or if fucking, if Cleopatra was around and we're out at a party in Egypt in
whatever year
that was, and you were at a pyramid party with everybody, you know, would you
leave because
you're just a little sleepy?
Or would you say, I need to see this public figure with my eyeballs before I go?
Well, this is an amazing question.
Let me just give it and tell my grandchildren.
This is something that I think is brought up.
I'm sure there's stories in the Bible that are very similar to this, speaking
of Egypt.
But I think this is a very good example of something for people to think about
at home.
What are your priorities?
Are your priorities, yes, I'm willing to get home a little bit later.
I'm willing to be late for my responsibilities the next day because my
priorities are on.
And be careful.
I'm just going to say what it is, man.
A superficial interaction.
A superficial interaction.
It wasn't even an interaction.
It was basically Eric wanted to wipe sweat off his head while walking by a
millionaire.
I wasn't sweating a drop last night, by the way.
And that's insulting because I was proud that I wasn't.
You guys were all hot and I was like, I don't even feel hot one bit.
Let me put my coat on.
Usually I'm in these things having to go to the bathroom, put running ice cold
water over
my veins to try to cool down in a panic.
Not last night.
And by the way, when I fucking do meet Taylor Swift like that and we're
chilling and I'm
pitching her movie ideas, animated Taylor Swift universe that I'm going to be
writing for
her.
I'll be like, you know, it's so funny.
This is so crazy.
But I literally saw you a couple of years ago at the wherever at that place.
And I was like, whatever.
And so then I can talk about this hilarious interaction that we had years ago.
You know what I'm saying?
So.
Yeah.
I just.
Yeah.
You'd be like, are you the guy who is like, yeah, I know you.
You're the guy who is like fucking smelling me, like trying to smell me at the
at the
party.
You're the guy that was sprinting at me with your arms down at your sides.
Oh, yeah.
Everybody's saying.
I'm like a stiff Naruto.
Yeah.
You like drunk drove Sarah from the cast.
You like drunk drove her home that night or something.
Hit like seven.
No, but paparazzi.
Yeah.
If I did do that, that would be on purpose.
I'm I'm against the paparazzi like that.
Let's just say that.
So we'll be fucking careful.
Let's just say that.
Let's just say a camera could be a gun one day.
Go ahead.
I want to go back for a second.
And Jack, you brought up something earlier.
I did.
And you said that you guys had the same experience last night, correct?
Mm hmm.
I went to the same party.
Yet Eric came 45 minutes late to the record and you were right on time.
Why is that?
So you guys had the same exact experience.
You're Eric.
You're saying you're tired from it.
You had to write a nap or something like that.
But Jack was on time and he respected that he needed to be here at this time.
So what happened?
This isn't going to be a fun episode, by the way.
Everybody listening.
This isn't going to be a fun one.
This is a drama one.
This will probably be our most viewed one because of the drama aspect of it.
Right.
In a sense.
Not that I'm thinking about views.
I don't even know what those are.
So why could this be?
Well, there's a number of reasons.
Maybe my dreams aren't a place I want to be as long.
And I'm eager to get out of that universe.
So you're saying if you had the dreams that Eric Rahill had, you might be?
I think so because I know that Eric's subconscious is a more peaceful place to
be based on our
music selection.
Yeah.
Eric.
Well, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't know if that's true because you listen to all crazy like.
That type of stuff.
No, not just that type of stuff.
I listen to anything that inspired pain from all regions of the world.
I want to listen to.
Right.
In different genres.
So I'll get a lot of South American folk.
All right.
Go ahead.
You listen to strictly Frank Sinatra.
You're most listened to artists every year.
Yeah.
I go through waves and he is one of my most listened to artists.
But do you have you ever pause to think maybe that I'm listening to that
calming music to
calm a crazier, even more crazier voice than yours.
And that's the only thing that will appease the fucking demons that are
screaming in my
head.
Stop it.
No.
So we can't know each other's internal experiences.
That's our private lives that we don't owe that a peek into that for anybody.
But I'll give you guys a peek and it's not good.
Just say that.
But so, yeah, it is curious.
Maybe you don't like your dreams as much.
What else?
Why else are you on time?
Do you have a schedule?
Do you have a calendar, Jack?
Why was I, how do you kind of, uh, how do you stay on time?
I guess that's maybe, that's probably the reality.
Well, you know what?
Punctuality.
I'll say this.
Uh, it's a thing of respect.
I find respect to be one of my deepest values.
And it's a thing of training as well because discipline is one of my deepest
values as well.
And I've been in a lot of scenarios where, you know, you're showing up to work
and you can't be a minute late and you can't be a minute early.
You have to be there on that minute.
What scenarios can't you be a minute early for?
What work jobs were you not allowed to be a minute early for?
Well, I was at a job that was called Stephen Colbert Presents Tuning Out the
News.
And it wasn't, nobody's, uh, you know, you, you, you'd be in trouble if you, if
you thought that it would be okay to turn your little camera on and turn your
little microphone on.
Wow.
A minute early.
Uh, they're not gonna be happy about that.
Entertainment is such a different world than the blue collar stuff that I'm
used to.
The blue collar zooms that you're in?
Yeah, blue collar zooms, talking about different type of concrete.
Man, oh, shit.
The blue collar work from home job.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, people, yeah.
Well, I need that.
You're developing, like, sedentary diseases, heart disease from just sitting
while figuring out what type of tow truck to buy on a Zoom.
All right.
So, let's just, let's put a cap on this energy.
So, yeah, can we bring it up a little bit, please?
Yeah, we can.
On the Sabbath?
We're recording this on the Sabbath and we're coming in to God's house with
this energy?
Oh, hell no.
Yeah.
It doesn't, um, I feel like we're gonna move on in lieu of a, uh, like,
meaningful song or apology from Eric.
But in the interest of exploring the theme of the episode today.
Oh, I said sorry.
All right, all right, all right, all right.
My bad.
I missed it.
So then, here's the different types of lateness, right?
You can be fashionably late.
Oh, shit.
Being late is not always a bad thing, is it?
No.
Sometimes you can wear lateness like a, like a cloak.
You can wear lateness like a pair of sunglasses.
Power move.
In a sense, that's sick because you are bending time.
You're wearing time.
How do you wear time?
Or you don't abide by the laws of, of sheriff time.
You don't respect sheriff time.
You respect sheriff tape, uh, sheriff, uh, fashion and sheriff, uh, self, uh,
uh, preservation.
Something like that.
No, this is, this is, you guys are wrong.
All right.
This is being late is not cute.
All right.
If you're one of these people.
You are a nerd, dude.
You're wearing glasses right now.
Shut the fuck up, bitch.
I'll kill you, man.
Do nerds do that?
Are they murderers?
No, man.
Some of them these days.
But the, the, the, the being late is not fun.
It's not cute.
It's, it's, if you're late, you are, you're stopping the world.
It's selfish.
Okay.
It's honestly, it's selfish and it's disgusting.
And if you're one of those people out there that is always late for stuff that
can never
be on time, you know how easy it is to just be on time.
You know how easy that is?
Can we check your privilege though really quick?
Because yeah, for you, it might be easy.
Cause you just have to sit around all day and do the right type of showering,
go on the
incline walk on the treadmill, uh, and, and make your rice bowl with the, you
know what
I mean, there's a lot of people out there might be single mothers or even more
interestingly,
single fathers that are running around trying to take care of the household, do
this and
that, then going to volunteerin